We Need to Talk Ch. 02

This is a continuation of "We need to talk" Part 1 and is a fictional representation. I would recommend that you read the first story to set the stage and add some continuity. This story involves characters over the age of 18, and the theme is incest related. As an author's note, my thanks to Beth for her editing and constructive comments. Beyond that, if you're hung up on 1st person / 3rd person story telling... sorry, it's just my style.

Enjoy!

*

"How could you? And with our own daughter, you sick bastard" Jan's accusation remains forever etched in my memory. I still recall her words, "I talked with Megan, so spare me the lame excuses and explanations. I don't want this to ruin our family, although it very well could."

Three months had passed since my affair with our daughter Megan began. She had since returned to fall term at college in Seattle. Regretfully, only yesterday my wife Jan had discovered this affair and surreptitiously approached me with the electronic evidence and accusation.

Admittedly, I had begun a covert affair with my adult daughter, which had lasted for the duration of her summer break from the university. Jan, my wife, recently discovered the initial e-mail exchanges from this past June and dug deeper to gather sufficient evidence to confirm her suspicions and to approach me with the well-founded accusation.

Recalling the past summer, activities at home continued without any overt indication of the affair. And on every occasion of convenience, Megan and I enjoyed the company of each other and often, in my bed, her bed, or wherever the moment allowed.

It was odd, having never strayed from Jan before, to make love to my wife one night and my daughter the next morning. Yes, it was making love on both occasions. I do love my wife, and my daughter. Yet somehow, the line of "love" with Megan was unexpectedly crossed to a point of no return, like a forbidden fruit that becomes an obsession. I questioned my motives for having no regrets about being involved with Megan, since it was consensual and mutually gratifying. Strangely enough, but our affair and lovemaking was an unexpected but natural progression of events. No guilt, no remorse and certainly no regrets.

My sex life with Jan prior to Megan was frequent and satisfying, and to her delight had dramatically intensified during the summer; no doubt fueled my recollections of sex with Megan. I loved Jan and found her physically attractive. That has never been an issue, and would be a sorry "excuse" for my straying.

Jan traveled monthly to Chicago for visits with her publisher and for book-signings in various cities throughout the country, often gone as much as a week at a time. She would call nightly, sometimes when I was in bed naked together with Megan. Megan and I would both talk with her as normal.

Sometimes, Megan would tease me and silently flaunt and play with her naked body in front of me while I spoke on the phone with Jan. On occasions, would suck on my hard dick to playfully distract my thoughts. Or, she would straddle me as I lay on the bed talking to Jan, and would with great restraint silently bring herself to orgasm. She was insatiable.

But, back to the moment at issue: Jan was confronting me about such a seemingly illogical act in such a logical manner.

"Rick," she continued, "I don't want this to destroy our family, but I don't know how I can ever trust you again...or Megan for that matter." I could sense the rise in her intensity, "I mean, how you would feel if I had been banging Andrew...No, don't even answer that. I know your state of mind. That would probably absolve you of any guilt or wrong-doing. You'd probably like that wouldn't you? You'd like it if I was FUCKING our son in our own bed, sucking on his cock and taking him deep into my pussy every time you weren't around, wouldn't you?" ... she paused, and started to weep.

I knew better than to speak. She had to get this out, like it or not.

"Rick I am so hurt by this and so torn between love and devotion, and true rage over being deceived by the people I loved and trusted more than anyone else in the whole world." She poured out and she continued weeping again with tears of anger and hurt.

"I know how beautiful and attractive Megan is, and how close you two were before this, and I was glad for that relationship. But I also know that what you've done has changed it forever, and you will have to live with the consequences. I am glad to not have that on my conscience. I doubt it, but I hope it was worth it to you."

Feeling her initial wave of anger subside, I sensed that it was safe to look up and face her. I knew that she had to unload her feelings and would take it as a confrontation if I were to make eye contact. I was humbled, but still not sure what to say or do, or if any comment would be accepted now or not. Taking a chance I offered, "I never meant for this to happen, and do know that there will be consequences, for our family and for each of us individually, especially me."

Jan acknowledged my comment sensibly, again falling into a logical mindset, "I know you Rick, or at least thought I knew you, and could expect what you would do given just about any circumstance, although this one never crossed my mind. As for consequences, you are on you own, well not entirely since our family relationships are so intricately woven together. Think about it, what if Andrew finds out? And, I'm sure he will eventually in one way or another. And what about my relationship with Megan? Did you think about that?"

It was clear that she wasn't finished with her tirade yet and continued, "Last and foremost, what about us Rick? How can I ever make love to you without wondering if you are thinking of me or Megan? It only makes sense that I would or could have those feelings. A trust issue has been seriously breached. Good God Rick, why couldn't you have just had a fling with some young bimbo to satisfy your carnal urge? I'd be pissed, but I mean, why did it have to be with Megan?" Her logic and reasoning was gone and replaced again by emotion as her voice rose and tears flowed freely.

"Jan," I spoke for the first time, cautiously, "I won't stoop to say that I know how you feel, and I know better than to make an excuse for my actions. But I believe that it's better now that you don't know the details of "what" or "why" at least not for now. I can only say that I'm sorry that this happened the way it did, and for the hurt that it caused you."

Jan accepted the apology in silence, but did not reply, still looking toward the floor with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Accepting her silence as permission to continue, "This has come as a shock to you, I know. It was much unexpected for me, and I could have handled it much different from the very beginning, avoiding this outcome. But here we are." I continued, "I can't read your mind, and certainly don't know what you will do after you have had some time to think about this, although, it's clear that you knew about it before today. Take this for what it is worth, but I do love you and our children, and want to work through this. However, easier said that done and I don't even know what to do next. But I least wanted to make that clear to you."

Jan still sat in silence, pondering my comments.

Realizing that this was my one and only chance to lay a groundwork for repairing the damage done, I continued, "You may never trust me again as you did before. In fact you may never trust me again at all, but that is up to you. Simply stated, I screwed up."

"Screwed up!" Try again mister for a better choice of words," she returned, and then realized the emotion of her outburst, "Sorry."

"Here we are. It's my mistake, but it's our choice to either rebuild relationships or call it quits. Plain and simple." I offered succinctly.

"Rick," Jan finally looked up, "I've known about this for a couple of weeks, after seeing the e-mails. I know this started on your e-mail, but Megan carelessly used my computer for her e-mails and foolishly left messages in the "Deleted" folder. You need to understand that I just need to some to think now that this is out in the open. I would appreciate it if you just give me some space and time alone until I can make some sense out of this... if that could ever happen."

Jan turned and walked away. I heard the bedroom door close and sat in my office staring off into nowhere. "Shit" I whispered to myself and once again looked into the face the of my accuser, the condemning computer screen.

I heard Andrew's car pull into the driveway, and sighed "Shit" again. "Bad timing." And wondered what would happen next.

"Hey Pops." As he entered from the garage, passing by my office on the way to the kitchen. Andrew was wearing a tank top and shorts, with a basketball tucked under his arm. Beads of perspiration still on his face and body following an afternoon game with the guys. "Where's mom?" he inquired, well aware that our cars were both in the garage.

"Oh, she's in her room freshening up. Not feeling well," I covered.

"What's for dinner? I'm starved" he mumbled after raiding the fridge and already half devouring a leftover chicken breast at 4:00 PM.

"Kids." I recalled. "Some things never change." feeling comfort in the normal daily routine of life in spite of the recent revelations.

The phone rang, and Andrew answered. After just a moment he hung up and was headed towards his room announcing, "Dad I'm going to Todd's for the evening. He's having a swim party with friends, and I'll probably hang our there for the night. Tell mom."

"See ya," as he cheerfully breezed by my office, bag in hand and headed for the garage.

"Bye kiddo." I replied with a certain amount of relief. I heard his car start and rumble down the road and listened to the unnerving silence in the house.

Jan stayed in our bedroom for the evening. She obviously didn't have an appetite, and nor did I for that matter. I retired to the living room, seated on my favorite chair, a haven in troubled times such as this. Instinctively, I went to eh kitchen pantry, opened a box of snack crackers and ate a handful.

At about 9, and still no sign or word from Jan, I knocked gently on the bedroom door, intending to retrieve some things for an anticipated night on the couch.

"Come in," I heard her softly reply.

Opening the door, I saw that the lights were off, but could still clearly see Jan in the last light of evening. She had changed into her robe and was lying on top of the bedspread. I offered, "Just came in for a couple things. I'll only be a minute." She did not get up, but watched silently as I retrieved a robe and headed for the door, fully intending to change in the hall bathroom. After all these years of intimacy, a simple act of removing my clothes in front of her felt awkward.

"Wait. Don't leave." she called as I passed through the doorway toward the hall.

I stopped and turned to face her, fully expecting another onslaught of angry accusations when she spoke, "I just don't understand why....why would you do that to us, you and I? Right now I don't even want an explanation, but you just need to know what I'm thinking. I deserve that much at least. I know you love me, and God only knows why, but I still love you. I'm only trying to make some sense out of something entirely with reason."

I stood at the doorway and listened as she continued, "I am so mad at you and hurt, but I need comfort. You have always been the one I turned to, so what am I to do?

Perplexed, I stood in the doorway, pondering whether to go to her or give her the space she asked for earlier, or the comfort she asked for now, and to what end? Reason and commitment took over and I moved to the bed taking a seat beside her, placing a hand softly on her shoulder.

"Only one day ago comforting Jan would have been second nature without any thought. And now, I just am at a loss as with a virtual stranger."

"Hold me," and she pulled my free hand bringing me beside her, eye to eye. "I need this. I need your closeness to re-assure me in whatever way you can." She continued in spite of her self-assured presentation, "I'm lost right at the moment and not sure where or how this will resolve. But right now, this is all I have, and all I want."

We lay still for a moment, and then she buried her face in my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. All I could do was hold her, smelling the scent of her hair, feeling the softness of her body pressed into mine and sensing her vulnerability. After some time, she fell into a deep sleep exhausted from the outpouring of raw emotion.

I awoke in darkness feeling the softness of lips placing gentle kisses on mine and her still tear dampened hair on my face. Our arms and legs were intertwined. Jan's robe was partially open revealing only glimpses of her breasts, heaving with each deep breath she took. Raw passion was displayed on her face, and I almost mistook the moment for a dream.

"Rick, make love to me... please." she whispered. "I need to feel you, and share us. I know this may seem awkward, and it the last thing I expected to ask of you tonight, but it is what I need right now more than anything."

Jan opened her robe and pressed her body gently fully against mine. It felt natural but at the same time completely unexpected. Thoughts were swirling in my half awakened and confused state of mind.

There was no doubt that I loved her, and wanted her as much as always, but considering the recent revelation and the moment, I wondered if this was the right thing to do. My thoughts were vanquished, when she unbuttoned my shirt, and loosened my belt and zipper, pulling my slacks free. Her fingertips grazed over my shorts, causing a familiar stirring. Even in the dim light, I could see her beauty, realizing that I had taken it for granted: and even dismissed our intimacy, allowing it to slowly slip into second place to business and family obligations over time. The reality of what I had and potentially what I had to lose was staring me in the face.

I kissed her lips, gently at first, then firmly with lips parting and tongues darting. My kisses moved down her neck to each breast, suckling at her nipples and tracing the curve of her breast before returning to her lips. Jan rolled onto her back pulling me on top of her. I could feel her fingers surrounding and stroking the shaft of my dick to a full hardness before guiding it into her. Our bodies moved in unison, in a dance perfected by years of lovemaking, but obviously neglected in times of late.

Our rhythm continued, peaking first with her trembling orgasm and then mine shortly thereafter. Afterward, our bodies melded deeply into the encompassing mattress.

As I lay on top of her, I was brought back to the moment by her fingers tenderly playing with my hair. I opened my eyes and looked into her deep green eyes, looking back at me with tenderness, doubt and fear with tears silently streaming down her face. I started to speak, unsure of what to say, and thankfully she placed a single finger on my lips to keep the calm and quiet of the moment.

Thank you." She whispered, and said no more, still running her fingers gently through my hair and over my face.

I wondered if this was her way of saying "goodbye" or if it was our first step of reconciliation. There was no way to know for sure at the precise moment, and asked, "Do you want for me to stay here tonight? I can sleep on the couch, if that would make you feel more comfortable."

Jan simply said, "Stay here, at least for the night. Please."

I nodded, excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I returned, the bed was turned down, and Jan was asleep on her pillow, obviously exhausted from the outpouring of the day. Taking my place beside her, I fell asleep quickly in spite of the rumblings in my troubled mind.

Daylight filtering through the curtains woke me after daybreak on this Saturday morning. I sighed, rolled over to see only the crushed pillow of a fitful sleep. I got up, slipped on my robe and followed the sounds and scents coming from the den. Gentle music was playing softly. Jan was curled up on the sofa, cup of coffee in hand, looking out into the open field beside our house, lost in thought.

She heard me enter, smiled kindly and offered the space beside her. A nearly full carafe and an empty cup were on the nearby table.

I sat beside her and poured a cup of coffee, settling back onto the sofa, feeling mixed emotions and expectations. "Killing your enemy with kindness?" I wondered to myself, taking the first sip of steaming coffee.

Jan spoke first, announcing, "I have a book signing in Atlanta on Monday," which I already knew, "and originally planned to leave Sunday afternoon. There is a flight leaving at 2:00 p.m. today, and I have already made a reservation. It would do me well to leave early and clear my head, some time to think. I can spend a few minutes but must get ready soon. I'm leaving for the airport about 11:00. I hope you understand."

I nodded, and looked towards her, "Thank you for the coffee and the kindness. I hope you have a good trip can enjoy some time for yourself. " Taking another sip, "kindness? Is that how a couple speaks to each other? This is so surreal." I mused, almost laughing at my feeble attempt to say something, when I really don't know what to say, as if speaking to a complete stranger.

"Last night, "Jan started, "well, thank you..." and left the rest unspoken. Probably well enough.

She continued, "We need to talk." Sensing my restlessness, and anticipation of another outpouring of accusation, "No, I mean we really need to 'talk', but not today."

I nodded and she added, "I have extended my trip for a full week and will be returning Friday night. Andrew will be in school this week, which will take up most of his time. I left a note for him, and so no explanations are necessary." Ever the organizer, "So, if you'll excuse me, I need to get ready"

Jan leaned over and kissed me softly on the cheek and walked toward the bedroom, leaving me alone in quiet thought on the sofa. I heard the shower, start then stop a few minutes later. I could smell the steam and scent of her shampoo, gentle reminders of what I would not enjoy in the next few days.

She emerged from the bedroom dressed in business travel clothing and pulling her suitcase. "Bye" she said, pausing only for a moment without any fanfare and continued toward the garage.

I sat on the sofa, watched her car pass in front of the house and fade out of sight on the country road. The house was quiet, except for the ticking clock on the mantle. It was quiet outside. Silence was not my friend today, nor would it be for the coming week.

"Time to think." I said to myself out loud considering the jumble of thoughts swirling in my mind. "I wish I could just turn it off for a while. Let the dust settle. Then I could think," knowing that this was an inescapable predicament that really did require some sincere and heart searching thought.

I found comfort in taking a long hot shower, slipping on my familiar but seldom worn jeans, shirt and boots. I felt the fresh surge of fall morning air, and the sunlight on my face as I went across the yard to the edge of a nearby field. Pressing past the manicured grass and into the brown native grasses of autumn I continued for more than an hour over one hill and then the next, stopping in the shade a small shady grove.

Letting my mind go, I recalled events of the past summer, one after another including the events of the past 25 years, going back to our dating times, wedding day, the births of our children and various other personal milestones. I realized that the last 25 years were more than just events and calendar days, but instead monumental moments, memories in the lives of individuals, those who I love dearly, deeply.