Wealth

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Vandemonium1
Vandemonium1
3,074 Followers

"Eh? What about the Scout hall?"

"He's been the local Scout Master for almost thirty years. Generations of Scouts have grown up healthy because of my father. Now, the Scout hall has been condemned, riddled with asbestos apparently. Dad says he has had an architect design a new one and talked to builders, but it will cost over $350,000 to tear the old one down and build a new one. Even with Dave helping him, he reckons it will take about ten years to raise that kind of cash."

"Hmm, Sandy. Without knowing it, you've given me an idea. If you get your Mum to give me the names of the architects and the builders, I may well be able to fill up your side of the church after all."

"Oh, what do you have in mind, Sebastian?"

Conversation 7: Sebastian and Sandra. Twelve days later.

"Oh, you wonderful, wonderful man."

"I take it that it worked then."

"Like a charm. As soon as the builders agreed on a fixed price for the new hall and your cheque cleared, Dad rang me up and said he'd be honoured to give me away at the wedding. Since then the phone has rung hot with cousins, uncles, aunts and even some friends accepting their invitations. Come here you gorgeous thing. I should let you... no, we've made it this far, we can last another five days."

"Bugger. Not even just a little..."

"No, Sebastian. Just imagine how it would be when we tell our daughters to save themselves for their wedding night, knowing we didn't."

"Of course, you're right, Sandy. I wish I had your self-control."

"Good. Now the better news. Carol has worked like 40 mongrels all day and has organised an impromptu hen's night for me tomorrow. Let's see; that will be Wednesday night; that will still allow me two nights in cloister."

"What the hell's that?"

"It's an old fashioned term for the period the groom isn't allowed to see or talk to the bride before the wedding."

"You mean..."

"Yes, Sebastian. I'll see you at the church Saturday afternoon. I'll be the one in white coming up behind you. Don't be late and remember your vitamins. I can promise you a night like no other."

Conversation 8. The wedding is over, the papers are signed, the happy couple are parked outside the party venue.

"Can we do it right now, in your wedding dress? We can put the top down on the car and the seats fold flat."

"Control yourself, pervert."

"Ow, that hurt."

"Yes, and if you don't remove your hand right now, I'll slap you again. There's my brother waving, come on, they're ready for us."

"All right. Spoil sport."

"Wow, don't you look flash."

"Why, thank you, Pete."

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to your husband. They're your best sneakers, aren't they?"

"Ha-ha. Everyone's a bloody comedian. Just make the announcement, mongrel."

Peter threw the double doors of the old hall open.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Bride and Groom. Mr. and Mrs. David Brown."

It took the happy couple fifteen minutes to traverse the short distance from the doors to the high table at the other end of the hall. An observant witness may have pieced together a lot from snippets of conversation in that time.

"How's the new hall going Dad?"

"Good, they've started putting up the big airtight tent around the old one already, so they can start knocking it down."

"My bet is dear Sebastian and his daddy won't even fight the prenup. That way it will stay out of the media and they'll avoid all the embarrassment.

When anyone asks about her rings, Sandra pulls them out of her purse to show them. Finally, the happy couple arrive at the high table and David bows to Sandra in respect. They each move to an end of a large whiteboard, covered in a sheet. Together, they pull the sheet off. This reveals a flowsheet with headings down one side, next to amounts. The headings include, 'Ferrari', 'Allowance,' 'Rings', 'Prenup', 'Compensation' and 'Scout hall'. Under the amounts column is a total. It's a seven figure number. This brings a gasp from more than one throat. Across the board, arrows are drawn from the amounts to one or more charities, showing how the funds have been allocated. In the bottom right hand corner, is the total remaining after allocation to the various charities. This total wasn't even considered a number until Arabic mathematicians successfully argued it was. 0. Dave began the ovation for Sandra. It went on for many minutes.

Conversation 9. An hour later.

"Here, have another glass of champagne, dear."

"You just want to get me drunk so you can't have your wicked way with me."

"Shit yeah! There's a little room out the back, where they store the mats. Care to leave your adoring fans for a while and indulge my second favourite fantasy?"

"What's that?"

"To fuck someone else's wife."

"I thought that was your favourite."

"Noooo. That's to fuck her in her wedding dress."

"Oh, all right then, but only if you promise me one thing."

"Your wish is my command."

"Can we please get married for real this time?"

"Bitch. That's blackmail."

Conversation 10. Dave and Sandra have agreed to a meeting with Sebastian's father.

"You must be David Brown. Have we met before? You look a little familiar."

"Yes, we have. I did some fund raising for your wife's charity about three years ago. Despite raising twice as much as she wanted, you reneged on the bonus you promised us. Due to that, I had to tell an orphanage that I couldn't pay the money I'd promised them. I thought appealing to your wife would work, but obviously not. She's just as tight as you are."

"I remember, now. That's business though, you should have read the contract better. Is that why you humiliated my son?"

Sandra broke in. "Partly, but mostly Sebastian humiliated himself. We wanted to teach him a lesson opposite from the one you've been teaching him all his life. Ripping off his father, one of the stingiest businessmen in this city, renowned for giving as little away as possible was a bonus, I admit."

"What lesson?"

"The lesson that not all shiny, pretty things are his for the right price. That some things transcend money and power, such as love, integrity and fidelity. Your son knew I was married, but never hesitated for a second trying to entice me away. Some people just need a bloody nose before they finally learn something. Live and learn, not everything is for sale."

"So, you admit you're already married then. That means we can get an annulment to overturn this sham."

"Common law man and wife, I'm afraid."

"I don't know how you can both sit there and talk about honesty and integrity after all you've done."

"Easy. Throughout this entire episode, Sandra didn't tell your son, or you, one lie. She did tell me things, in front of your son, that were technically untrue, but I was in on the plot, so they weren't lies. She didn't say she loved him one single time. He's so arrogant that not once did he question if his world view was correct or not."

"Yes, the most I bent the truth was saying, "Dave and I got married in the Cayman Islands." That's where he and I committed to each other, and in my mind, the day we were married. Your son just filled in the blanks by himself."

"You don't have to tell me that my son is a fool. I know that. You have to tell me though, how can you possibly think that I will let you get away with this? Accidents do happen, you know."

"Two reasons, really. One, this conversation is being recorded and transmitted to a remote receiver. Two, anything happens to us and a third party mails a nice little package to the media. So far, very few people know that your son humiliated himself. Anything happens to us and that becomes a whole lot more. The third party even knows what charity to donate the proceeds of the sale to. Take this one on the chin, Sir."

With that Sandra and Dave arose and walked hand in hand to the exit. Leaving behind a glowering, frustrated, but slightly wiser man.

The story could be over at this point, but I promised you a different format didn't I. I like to deliver on my promises. Below are chapters 1a-6a. Insert them in the relevant spaces in the above story and you have much more detail on the other side of the story.

Conversations 1a: Dave and Sandra. The night after conversation 1. Sandra's new apartment.

"That was quick, Dave. You were waiting around the corner weren't you?"

"Too bloody right. I watched old Sebby leave and came straight up."

"Well, don't give the game away, you'll spoil the fun."

"You can talk. I thought you were going to give us away by bursting out laughing at one point this afternoon."

"Yes, but that was your fault."

"What?"

"I'm bloody glad that Sebby couldn't look you in the eye or he would have seen the same twinkle I did. I was going to nominate you for an Oscar, but should give you a damned good spanking for almost making me crack up."

"Oooo, I'll be waiting in the bedroom, bent over the chair."

"Pervert. Beg to report, I had to give him another peck on the lips."

"Well, that changes everything. You bend over the chair."

"Now you're talking!"

Conversations 2a: Dave and Sandra. Three days after conversation 2. On the balcony of a penthouse, overlooking a beach on Grand Cayman. They are sharing a single chair, with Sandra in front. You've speltnisiwrong, it's an 's' not a 'c'." "Well, I'm a dumb blonde, remember. Anyway, it's hard to concentrate with someone looking over your shoulder. It's even harder to concentrate when they're doing what you are with your hands." "Sorry, Sandy, you know I can't help myself when you're in a bikini. This place sure is flasher than the backpackers we stayed in the last time we were here." "Yes, I could get used to this, as I could flying first class too. Now stop that or I'll be forced to do something drastic." 'Such as?" "You, bedroom, now." "All right, if you insist. That will put us another half day behind you realise? Another half day in this hell hole." "That's a price I'm willing to pay. We have to wait for that flash printer we ordered and that special paper we need anyway." Okay, you drive a hard bargain, let's go."

Conversations 3a: Dave and Sandra. Just after conversation 3 "You know, it's starting to worry me how easy you deceive people, Sandy." "Far out, Dave. I've told you, I only bullshit people I don't respect. Anyway, listen to what I'm saying to him. I don't lie. I just phrase things in a special way and wait for him to fill in the blanks. Quit complaining, anyway. You got a first class ticket, to a first class resort, with a first class piece of ass. Tell me, what is there to complain about?" "The beach." "What about the beach?" "Well, we've had sex on the bed, on the balcony, on the cliffs and on that boat yesterday, but we haven't done it on the beach yet." "Well, it's dark. Do you want to do it now or after dinner?" "Both." "Okay. Let me just print out that one page first. The guy in the shop said it's best to leave the ink to dry for a while."

Conversations 3b: Dave and Sandra. The day after 3a "Will you please get my cock out of your mouth. I'm trying to concentrate here. Now where was I? Oh yes. In years 0-2, if you agree to divorce each other and there is no infidelity, then you get your listed assets, 10% of the joint assets and he gets 90%. For every two years, your share increases by 10%, up to a maximum 50% after eight years." "Would infidelity include something like this, Dave?" "Yes, definitely. Now slow down, you're wobbling the laptop so I can't read. "If he screws around on you during the marriage, then you'll automatically get 90% of everything and custody of any kids. If you screw around on him, then your share is capped at half a mil." "So I can dump him on the wedding day and still get $500,000? That's very generous of him." "You've got to realise, honey, that half a mil is nothing to these people. They would hardly even see it as a deterrent. Fuck the computer, just keep doing what you're doing."

Conversations 4a: Dave and Sandra. The day after conversation 4. "Gee, you're still the best honey licker I've ever known, Dave. That was fantastic. I'm so turned on when I meet you these days. I'd read that cheating sex was exciting. Now I know it's true." "What the..." "Keep your hair on. It feels like I'm cheating on Sebastian. When I dump him, how about I get another boyfriend?" "No bloody way. My heart couldn't stand going through this again." "You haven't said what you think of my ring yet, Dave. Didn't you see it?" "How could I miss it. I think it could be seen from the moon with the naked eye. What charity shall we donate that to?" "I was thinking of looking for one that supports victims of illegal diamond mining in Africa. You know, like in the movie, 'Blood Diamond'." "Yeah, good one. Very apt. By the way, I've done some research on what you will get for the Ferrari. We should be able to get at least eight minivans for the Make-a-Wish foundation with the proceeds." "Aw, can't I keep the Ferrari? I look good in it." "Not one cent, remember. Everything goes to charity. We may be bastards for doing this, but we're bastards with integrity." "Yeah, I know, lover, just yanking your chain." "Sandy, you're not being seduced by the lifestyle of the rich and famous are you?" "No way honey. I have the love of a good man; what else do I need?" "So you don't look at our little house and compare it to Sebastian's parents' mansion?" "Nope. There is more love in our little bathroom than in the whole of that monstrosity. That reminds me. We haven't done it in the shower for a while." "Bugger off, you insatiable bitch. Are you trying to kill me?" "Depends. How much is your life insurance worth? I could donate that to victims of crime."

Conversations 5a: Dave and Sandra. The day after conversation 5. "He really said that? May the best man win." "Yes, but don't you see, that justifies what we're doing." "Huh?" "Yeah. You started with nothing and built a half million-dollar business, that employs eight people, with my help of course. He was born with money and lives on handouts from daddy. You're obviously the best man." "Am I better in bed?" "That's something I will never know." "Am I a better kisser?" "Buggered if I know. I've managed to stave off everything but a quick smack on the lips so far. Oooh, if you don't stop that in the next hour or so, I'll scream, okay?"

Conversations 6a: Dave and Sandra. Via telephone, two hours after conversation 6. "Did he take the bait." "Yep, hook, line, sinker and half the reel as well. It's funny how rich people always solve problems the same way every time. Throw money at them. How do you know how to play the little schmuck so well?" "Ah, it's all about FIGJAM I suppose." "FIGJAM?" "Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me." "Funny man. Now get your ass around here." "Won't I get between you and your lover?" "The only thing that gets between me and my lover is eight inches long and very hard. Now, I won't say this again. Get it over here." The end.

Right, I'm all lubed up, comment away. Now lighten up. The following joke is on kind loan by member JohnChild.

Two hillbillies are sitting in a bar. One says, "If I give your wife a baby, will that make us kin?" The other thinks for a while. "No, but it will make us even." Thanks John

They do say money can't buy you love. No, but I've always preferred sex anyway.

Vandemonium1
Vandemonium1
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  • COMMENTS
49 Comments
JohnChildJohnChild9 months ago

My first sojourn into literotica, I got a mention. I'm wrapped.

EastCoaster1EastCoaster1about 1 year ago

5.

Ab-so-effing-TIVE-ly a 5 !

Just_WordsJust_Wordsalmost 3 years ago

Cute. The short version of the story is she leaves with her rich BF and he reaches for his phone. "Hello, Uncle Tony? We need to delay my coming into my inheritance by a few months..."

jimjam69jimjam69over 3 years ago

Great story! Great reading (between laughs).

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