Weapons of Mass Seduction

"The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off" Jean Cocteau

There's no doubt about it. Playfulness and a sense of adventure in the bedroom are very attractive traits. Dressing up in sexy lingerie and bedroom wear is an opportunity for a woman to be playful, to feel very beautiful, to explore the power of desire and of being desired. It's a chance to play dress ups, to become the boudoir mistress, the siren or the virginal bride.

Wearing something glamorous and sexy everyday boosts your self esteem and helps you to get in the mood for a hot evening ahead. It doesn't need to be big budget. In the right hands a garment as simple and innocent as a white slip can be transformed into a weapon of mass seduction. Think Elizabeth Taylor in her sizzling performance as Maggie in the 1958 film Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.

Go out to dinner or to the movies wearing gorgeous stockings, no panties, and you'll be reminded of your near nakedness every time you sit down…This secret knowledge is a powerful aphrodisiac. It's great for building anticipation, awareness of your body, driving your lover wild and just plain turning yourself on.

Experiment with the kinds of fabrics you wear. In talking with women friends, I'm surprised how specific and varied preferences and tastes are when it comes to sexy bedroom wear. Some folks love soft, slippery, shiny satin. Lots of men love the wispy see through effect of sheer fabrics. Anything in tight, clingy fabric does it for others, and a combination of all of the above seems pretty popular too.

Sexy garments are not only a treat for the viewer. Wearing sensuous fabrics is a real pleasure for the wearer. Soft plush velvet feels so beautiful and lace with its tantalising glimpses of what lies below can make a woman feel and look just gorgeous. Slinky micro fibre garments tease the bare skin, like being caressed by soft hands. Silk has a luxurious skin like quality and the wonderful ability to capture a woman's special scent like no other cloth.

The gorgeous thing about sexy lingerie and bedroom wear is that you don’t need to be model thin to look sensational. You do need to enjoy what you're wearing and feel comfortable. Nothing surpasses the sexiness of a self confident woman who is literally comfortable in her own skin. Feeling beautiful, desirable and sexy in your own head actually makes you beautiful, desirable and sexy.

If you are on the curvy side like me there is a great opportunity to play it up. One of my favourite outfits is a very simple A- line lacy short chemise style slip that works like a dream every time! Check out some of the websites of lingerie suppliers who cater for larger sizes. These women look amazing, all rounded and curvy, making the most of their great assets. Cleavage can be hard to resist! Maybe you love your legs, your shoulders or breasts, find ways to show off, emphasise and enjoy your best bits.

Taking the time to dress up makes your lover feel great because you've made an effort especially for them. Gentlemen remember to compliment your lover when she's gone to the effort to dress up. Be specific about what you love about her. Compliment her, not just the clothing. "You look so hot in that…"

A quick word on practicalities. I absolutely love gorgeous stay up stockings. Girls if you can, buy the ones at about 20 denier as they'll withstand a little rough and tumble, last longer and look and feel just as fabulous as the super sheer 10 denier that won't survive the touch of one calloused hand. Gentlemen we love the big strong hands but they can be lethal on fine hosiery, please keep your nails trimmed.

And finally to the fun bit…the undressing part…

Dr Jack Morin in his wonderful book, The Erotic Mind says "Clothing acts as a concealment, cloaking the treasures underneath…Passions sometimes demand that clothes be unceremoniously ripped out of the way. For many people, however, the transition from fully clothed to completely naked (or semi naked) is much more exciting when it is slow and deliberate." Listen up ladies and gentlemen because Dr Jack knows what he's talking about.

Many people, especially women like to be undressed slowly. Very, very slowly. It is both very erotic and tantalizing. It also sort of suggests that you are valued and worth taking time over. Savour and enjoy each moment.

Slowness and restraint can be incredibly erotic. One of the sexiest and most memorable film scenes I've ever seen is in Jane Campion's 1993 film, The Piano. Campion builds scenes where the erotic tension is excruciating. Who can forget the spellbinding moment when Harvey Keitel puts just his one of his fingers on the leg flesh showing through the small hole in Holly Hunter's thick black stocking? Or when he kisses her neck above the very modest collar of her dress as she plays the piano for him?

In other movies in historical settings, heavily dressed woman are sent into a swoon when their amorous admirers peel back a glove to kiss the soft silky skin on the inside of their wrist, very intimate and deliberate. In glove wearing times a simple "naked" handshake was a risqué thrill. Remember that sometimes little, subtle gestures can be very moving and erotic.

Just to restate important information for lovers of women…most women love to be slowly undressed or partially undressed, slowly being the key here. The key points;

*Great seduction is about building anticipation and erotic tension.

*Women enjoy being kissed through fabric, flesh being revealed by degrees, kissed as it is revealed.

*Touch over fabric then under, kiss and touch along the lines of where clothing meets flesh instead of diving right in.

*Don't be in a hurry to take it all off, leave something on for that delicious semi dressed, more naked than naked feeling…

*Lift a hem line slowly to reveal a smooth thigh just waiting to be stroked.

*Play with shoulder straps, is there anything more gorgeous than having a lover shift a shoulder strap to one side just to place a little kiss on the flesh under?

The next time you're with your lady love, spend a little more time in this highly sensitive but sometimes neglected area.

*Kiss along the tops of a shoulder, along collar bones, around the nape of the neck.

*Gently nip at that spot where shoulder meets neck, this is heavenly seduction at its best.

*Slowly peel away a sleeve to reveal a smooth rounded shoulder, lavish some love here.

This is a very beautiful and erotic way to make your lover feel cherished and desired. Trust me you will be repaid, your efforts will be rewarded!

As the seduction proceeds…"Soon she won't object to fingers that stray under her skirt-hem and linger at her lightly knotted waistband; when her eyes are dreamy and her breathing's harsh send the servants away" Mallyana Vatsyayana (2nd century) The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana; 2nd century)

Don't let the world tell you that's its just men who are the "visual" sex, one of the sexiest sights in our bedroom is the view I get kneeling up facing my lover, looking down to see his hand disappearing between my knees, under my slip... there is something very forbidden and downright naughty about having a hand up your dress. It makes me feel very womanly, wanton and desirable. I love it!

Taking license with one of my favourite quotes…remember that "women take longer to undress because they need to slow down for the curves." Slow down and have fun negotiating those dangerous curves!

Please leave feedback, I'd love to hear about your experiences and what you think of this article.