Welsh Love Spoons

I woke up in our holiday cottage, my memory cleared and began to refresh my head of where I was. We had arrived late last night, the key to the front door was hidden under a plant pot. We were told where to look for it by the owner over telephone when making the booking. My husband Ralph, brought our bags in. One for our son Jordan aged 12 and our daughter Sophie aged 9 which he put in their bedrooms.

As I lay on my back, still in bed, I felt something between my legs. But being half asleep I didn't pay any attention to it. Last night Ralph and I had a quick look around before turning in. I thought about the cottage's kitchen which was very old in its design but fitted with modern white goods. Lots of hand carved wooden spoons with intricate work adorned the kitchen's back wall. The spoons were very old and made from dark wood. Almost all had a love heart carved into their handle at some point.

Underneath the spoons was a framed bit of text giving some history about the cottage. Being tired after the drive to get to the cottage, I hadn't read the text but did notice it mentioned the site the cottage had been built on what was a place of worship used by indigenous tribe of Druids before the Roman invasion had taken over.

I felt something touch higher up my thigh, but as Ralph had gone out shopping with the kids and left me to rest, I dozed off and fell asleep. He would be gone for a few hours I knew as everything went black.

I dreamed about the living room which had lovely white leather couches and armchairs, thick warm carpet, a massive TV on the wall and also some much larger carved spoons (where they actually spoons? I wondered in my sleep) put up on hooks to mount them on the wall. I looked enviously at the large TV wishing we had one that big at home.

Then without warning I was looking at the large carved wood items supposed to spoons on the wall. A note pinned beneath them described how these 3 ancient relics had been found when digging the foundations of the cottage in the 18th century.

They are thought to be Druid ritual or spiritual artefacts. After I dreamed about reading the description, the 3 wooden shapes floated around my head in my dream. The first one had a long thin body or handle with carvings of 2 tiny arms and 2 tiny feet with a spoon type head which elongated to a curved spike, almost like a tongue. I felt a warmth run through my body and pleasure radiated into my extremities causing tingling in my arms and legs. I grinned in my sleep unaware where the pleasant feeling emanated from.

The second wooden artifact now floated into view. This also had arms and legs carved into the body of the handle slightly bigger than the previous one. It may have been a serving spoon as the bulbous head was larger than a desert spoon and had an unusual protruding rim mid way down its girth.

"What an odd item."

I thought as the feelings of relaxation and pleasure ran through my body.

The third piece of wood floated in front of my face as I dreamed. Then I felt a feeling I knew. A feeling I'd had before, but not for some time. Being asleep I could not put my finger on what the feeling was.

As I looked on, the handle of the third wooden spoon appeared to grow thicker and longer.

"Its very phallic. "

I giggled.

A foreskin seemed to appear on the end of the spoon's handle which was now as big as a porn star's piece. I remembered Time Team on TV. The ancients are known for producing archaeological items with large sexual organs. I paid no attention to the large thick oak blackened wood penis shaped handle and spoon head resembling a pair of balls.

The feeling of pleasantness ran through my body continuously. It was coming from between my legs. As I stirred and started to wake up, I realised my legs were wide open. My black panties were handing off my foot as I looked up and saw them dangling. Something was massaging my slot and working on my clit. The pleasant feeling I'd been having was the build up to an massive orgasm.

As my back arched uncontrollably and I cried out in pleasure, I did not know how or what had got me off in such a wonderful way. I shuddered repeated on my back in bed as the rubbing on my slot continued. I felt another orgasm approaching and quickly looked between my legs to see what was happening.

"Was I dreaming?"

Was the first one of the Druid wooden love spoons holding my flaps apart with its dainty arms and legs while the big soft head of the spoon licked my clitoris like a big wet tongue.

Is that spoon alive I pondered as I saw it move and maintain its grip on my inner and outer lips. I saw the second spoon appear, walking on the edge of the duvet like a robot just as the second orgasm arrived.

"Oh shit! Oh shit!"

I called as my back arched up once again this time my bum lifted up too. As I blacked out and my eyes spun backwards in my head, the second spoon positioned itself sticking upwards directly beneath my puckered anal entrance. As my orgasm passed my butt dropped directly onto the second spoon's head and it penetrated my asshole up to the rim around the middle of the spoon, that I had wondered about when I saw it on the wall.

I felt my body juddering as I was pushed downwards repeatedly by an invisible force. The rim expanded and pressed open my bum hole and without warning popped deep inside my back passage. As I was bounced up and down on the spoon in my bum the tongue of the spoon on my pussy continued to work its magic. I had never had anal sex before and I realised I was enjoying it. But I had always stopped Ralph because I didn't think I would like it. I felt a bit guilty.

"This is some dream!"

I thought a I felt a third orgasm brewing up inside me as both spoons worked on me. This time after I came I felt myself rolled over and all the small spoons from the kitchen appeared on the bed and worked on my tits and nipples. Pulling and squeezing them causing pleasure and delight. The third spoon with its phallic handle was positioning itself behind my love chute. Large wood hands came alive and gripped my hips. Short strong legs stood on the bed. All the attention on my tits meant I didn't notice being on all fours on the bed with a massive druid penis ready to enter my vagina.

Then I felt the lips of my privates get pressed inwards and then opened by a wide hard thing. Before I could say;

"What is that?"

It ploughed into me. I was very wet in my love chute already due to the amount of times I had cum already. I looked over my shoulder crying out in pain as the phallic shaped spoon handle gradually took on human form, go bigger and pressed deeper and deeper into me. With each thrust I could see the form of a man dressed all in white becoming more and more visible. The third love spoon was his dick.

"Argggh!"

I moaned as his full extent was inside me stretching my passage deeper and wider than ever before and his ball sack hit my flaps. Then, I heard a voice in my head. He spoke in what I assumed was Welsh. Even though I don't understand Welsh words, my head translated what he said;

"My people have lived on this land since time began. We are Druids who believe time is an illusion. It was created by Romans to explain the before and after an event. Time does not exist. As a Druid I believe this, and I can appear at any time and pay back the Roman invaders and their offspring who forced us off our land. Revenge is sweet on the woman who receives it and keeps our Celt people in existence."

I didn't understand until much later what he was talking about. Whilst he spoke, he continued to thrust his large cock spoon into me. When I heard him say revenge is sweet I felt him unload his thick jism in my cunt.

"Shit"

I thought. I had stopped taking the pill as it had been having an adverse effect on my health a few years earlier. Being married for over 15 years meant Ralph didn't make love to me more than once a month and when he did he wore a Durex.

As I orgasmed while being filed with cum I felt my legs and bum being held up and my head pushed onto the bed angling my back downwards allowing all the cum fired into me to flow downwards by gravity into my fertile womb. The final orgasm was so big I had passed out on the bed.

Time passes...

Eventually I was awoken by Ralph and the kids.

"God! Its 11.30am and you still havent got out of bed or got dressed!"

Said Ralph.

"And you were sleeping in a funny position Mummy."

Whispered Sophie.

"Your head was on the pillow but you bum was up in the air!"

Sophie continued. While Ralph and Jordan were both laughing. I had been asleep with my arse in the air! I couldn't believe I had fallen asleep in that position for at least two hours. My womb must be full of sperm and exactly none has dripped out of my pussy. I hope its the wrong time of the month and I hope that was just a dirty dream I had.

I looked around the room. There were no signs of wooden love spoons anywhere.

"Phew!" I thought to myself. "That was some exotic wet dream I just had."

I did spend a bit of time looking at the wood spoons around the cottage while we stayed on holiday for the remainder of long weekend but they all seemed to be still, lifeless, not moving and just spoons. I convinced myself I had dreamed all the odd events, orgasms and sore sex parts, until after 3 months a bump started to form in my tummy. I now understood what the Druid apparition was saying;

"Revenge is sweet on the woman who receives it."

The revenge statement refers to: I am one of the women over time who paid the price for our ancestors kicking the local people off their land. Revenge is getting knocked up by a timeless Druid with his big spoon cock whether you wanted it or not.

The sweet part refers to: When I was knocked up on holiday in Wales it was the best sex I'd ever experienced.

Later on, Ralph made a joke about my pregnancy saying;

"Instead of a birth certificate I want an apology from Durex" as one of his condoms must have failed for me to get pregnant. Little did he know of the truth and I doubt him or anyone would believe what actually happened.

Gwain was born 9 months after our trip to Wales, he had very pale skin, red hair and was tall and thin. He did not get a suntan just went red and burnt, like a true Celt. He is the opposite of Jordan and Sophie with their brown hair and suntans. I thought Ralph might notice he is not the Dad of Gwain, but our Doctor protected me by saying a throw back can happen with a child as all skin and hair types are in our gene pools.

I did have to take some sugar off the Doctor's "spoon" to thank him for his help. But that is another story, which maybe I will put on here at a later date!

Cheers.