Westrons Pt. 25

- “I’ll be happy to tell you more about Tallia.”

With Isa in good hands, Esyle and I went upstairs. The Lady of Belere was very quiet. Esyle wasn’t a chatterbox, by any means, but I was surprised that she would fall silent, now. She was usually so good at knowing exactly what to say.

We sat down on the edge of her bed. I took her hand in mine.

- “Are you thinking of Tallia?” I asked. “Or Isa?”

- “Isa.” she said. “She’s so ... kind. And ...”

- “And?”

Esyle shook her head. “I don’t know, Cook. I was so worried, when I read your letter. How can I compete with Isa? She changed for you. How can I match that?”

- “You don’t have to compete with her.”

- “I know. I know that now. Do you know what she said to me? Isa said that she envied me. She was sad, because she can’t give you a child.”

I knelt on the floor, and took both of Esyle’s hands.

- “It’s not a competition, love. Isa chose me, and I couldn’t reject such an offer. The same way that I couldn’t refuse when you and Tallia chose me.”

- “That’s not the same.”

- “Yes, it is. In Pylos, it’s the males who do the wooing. We try to impress the female we’re attracted to, to win her love.”

“But here, the females choose. You can argue that Isa’s body chose for her - but stop and look at it from my perspective, for a moment.”

Esyle smiled shyly. “Tallia and I didn’t give you much choice, did we?”

- “Of course you did. And you were very patient with me. You gave me time to grow accustomed to the idea of being with both of you. And I haven’t regretted a single moment.”

She squeezed my hand.

“Esyle, you may not realize what you mean to me. There are many reasons why you’re the Lady of Belere.”

- “You don’t have to -”

- “I think I do. You’re the kindest person I know. I don’t mean just kind to me - you’re patient with your sister, even at times when we both wanted to strangle her. You have all the best qualities of your mother.”

“You welcomed Isa with open arms, when you could have wounded her with a word.”

- “I couldn’t hurt her.”

I told Esyle what I’d discussed with Isa. I explained to her exactly how I felt about the women in my life. How I admired Kanitz, whose beauty and intelligence were impossible to match.

How I loved Tudino with all my heart.

I even reserved a soft spot for Koroba.

Esyle knew how I felt about Tallia. We’d had multiple conversations about her sister, and how the sisters could fairly share my time.

And then I told Esyle about Themis. From the very beginning.

We talked far too long. But she finally understood that I loved her for herself, and not only because she could give me children.

My love for Esyle was no incandescent flame, no whirlwind of passion. It was like a warm fire in the hearth, a solid piece of ground to stand upon, a certainty that I could base my entire life upon.

We made love, then, with a little more urgency than usual.

And then we made love a second time.

***

There was a formal reception, at the Palace, where the Queen and her consort publicly thanked me. It was a subdued affair, because the war wasn’t officially over, and the Crolians hadn’t sued for peace.

Princess Maia Ariana wasn’t included in the proceedings - for which I was grateful.

The Queen wanted to meet Isa. So did everyone, for that matter. Once I’d gone down the receiving line, I was almost completely ignored.

- “Welcome to my world.” said Kanitz, with a wicked grin.

- “it’s a pleasant change, actually - not to be the oddity on display.”

- “You’ll always be an oddity, Cook.”

It was a strange time to be in the capital. People were elated, of course, by our two major victories. There was no time, in living memory, that the Westrons had won two battles against the Crolians in the same year.

But there was also confusion, mixed with impatience. Why was there no official declaration of an end to the war? The Crolians were at each other’s throats; surely it was simply a matter, then, of marching into Crolia and forcing them to accept terms. So thought the armchair generals and the man in the street.

Which is why those two types shouldn’t be put in command of the army.

But people were also worried about the Queen’s pregnancy. Themis had a boy and a girl; she wasn’t the issue. The Queen, though, had one male child - after two hemmers. To most Westrons, that was the equivalent of going 0 for 2.

Even the Royal Family’s most loyal supporters had their fingers crossed; the opposition were gleefully sharpening their knives in anticipation.

Meanwhile, we had to keep armies on the frontiers. Kanitz was tempted to cut short the contract with the Penchen regiments, and then decided not to.

- “I was afraid, there, for a moment.” I confessed to Isa. “I was afraid I’d lose you.”

- “You can’t lose me, Cook.” she said. “Do you really think that if the Penchen army went home, I’d be going with them?”

- “You wouldn’t go?” I’d hoped she felt that way, but I didn’t want to make her say so.

She responded by wrapping her arms around me, and resting her head on my chest.

- “You’re my home now.” she said, quietly.

***

We went back to Kesmansha, for another month, until the approach of winter effectively ended the campaign season - if not the Crolian Civil War. The Woles brought us reports that our enemies were continuing to fight each other, regardless of the weather.

I supervised the return of our army to winter quarters. Langoret insisted on seeing to her own regiment, as did all of our other Colonels. We arranged a schedule, where two Colonels (or I) would be with the army at all times, in case the Crolians crossed the border.

Unlikely, perhaps - but if you only prepare for the expected, in war, you will be unpleasantly surprised.

Tallia finally made plans to return home, with Senau. She had to face her parents and her sister, at some point.

- “I don’t understand why you’re avoiding it. Esyle and your mother absolutely adore Isa. They’re going to love Senau, too.” Although, perhaps not quite so much, I thought.

- “It’s easier for you, Cook.” said Tallia.

- “Why is it easier for me? What do you mean?”

- “You’re not pregnant.”

***

It shouldn’t have been possible.

- “It’s not possible.” said Isa. That didn’t stop her from providing Tallia with a shoulder to lean on (or cry on, from time to time).

- “Is it ... because she’s a hybrid?” I wondered.

- “Oh, my ...” said Isa. “Maybe ...”

I wanted to be there for Tallia, too, but for some reason she shooed me away more often than not.

Senau, of course, was less than useless. He had all the warmth of a freshly gutted fish. That may not be fair; I don’t know what they said to each other in private.

It was Isa who spent the better part of a day, alone, with Tallia. I had no idea what they talked about - I was specifically not invited.

Tallia went home, in the end. At her request, Isa and I stayed with the army while she took Senau to see her family.

- “Talk to me, Isa.” I said.

- “Pardon?”

- “Don’t keep secrets from me. You know why Tallia didn’t want to see me, or even talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

She hemmed and hawed. “It’s complicated, Cook.”

- “I have time. Explain it to me.”

- “Do you trust me?” she said.

- “With my life.” I said, without hesitation.

Isa smiled, and kissed me on the cheek. “That’s a good answer.”

“You have to understand: she grew up in a loving household, with strictly monogamous parents. But she and her sister despaired of finding suitable mates for themselves.”

- “Until I showed up.” I said. “Sorry - that sounded vain.”

- “No. It’s accurate. But you underestimate how important that was for Tallia. And for Esyle. Here you were, finally: a relatively attractive, relatively intelligent male who could mate with a hybrid female.”

“But there was only one of you.”

- “I know. So Tallia came up with the idea of sharing me with Esyle.”

Isa nodded. “To her, it seemed like the best solution. It wasn’t her heart’s desire, though. Ideally, Cook, Tallia would have preferred to have you to yourself.”

“You told me before that jealousy wasn’t one of Tallia’s failings. Well, I’m not certain that it’s a horrible failing ... but Tallia is definitely not immune.”

I was stunned. “That’s ...”

- “She fell in love with you.” continued Isa. “But she loves Esyle, too. She made a valiant effort not to show any jealousy. But she couldn’t help being competitive.”

That was certainly true. I remembered how crazy Tallia became when both sisters were trying to get pregnant. She tried to monopolize my time and attention.

- “But ... I’ve been with many other women - and Tallia never objected. Not once.”

- “How could she? If she was trying so hard not to be jealous of Esyle, she had to try not to be jealous at all. Besides, you were with Aneli and Kanitz before her.”

“She could hardly object to sharing you with Tudino and Avette, afterwards. Countesses and Colonels.”

- “Tallia’s a bit of a snob?”

- “A little. But she didn’t object to Koroba, either. Any bodyguard who saves your life ranks with a Countess, any day. I happen to agree with her, there.”

- “But ...”

- “ But Tallia admitted to me that she’s jealous of Kanitz.”

- “What?” I still couldn’t accept the idea that Tallia was jealous. In all our time together - until Isa - I’d never even suspected that Tallia had a jealous bone in her body.

- “She’s the Chancellor, and a Countess ... Tallia has always been afraid that you’d leave her - and Esyle - for Kanitz. Because she’s a hybrid, who could share your bed every day. She’s also incredibly beautiful.”

“Esyle doesn’t share those fears, in case you’re wondering.”

- “I had no idea.”

- “Of course not. Tallia didn’t want you to think that she was jealous at all.”

- “But she was.” This was mind-boggling. I was struggling to get my head around it.

- “And then I came along.” said Isa.

I understood, then. Back in Cercen, Tallia had to share me with Esyle - and with Kanitz. But when we were with the army, I was entirely hers. Tudino, or Avette - or Koroba - might claim me for a long weekend, once a year. But that was all.

Until Isa. How could Tallia compete with that? And there it was again - competition. Just as Esyle had said.

I remembered how angry Tallia had been when I came to her bed, while I was still trying to work out my feelings about Isa. Then Tallia had moved to another tent, to give us space, and privacy.

- “I must’ve hurt her.” I said. “So many times.”

- “You did.” said Isa. “She knew that it wasn’t intentional.”

- “That only makes it worse. I should have told her ... that I love her.”

- “You did. I heard you say it. But emotions don’t always listen to reason.”

- “Did Senau make it better - or worse?”

Isa just tilted her head, and looked at me.

Worse.

I certainly wasn’t monogamous when Tallia and I came together; there had never been the slightest expectation, between us - as far as I was concerned - that I would be hers alone.

But Tallia herself had only one lover: me.

I’d never really suspected that Tallia could be jealous. Competitive, yes. She wanted to be first, to have most of my time. And when we were with the army, she could monopolize my attention.

Senau’s change would put the shoe on the other foot.

How would I respond to no longer being first, in her affections? And if Tallia had felt even the littlest bit jealous of Isa - wouldn’t she suspect that I might feel the same about Senau? Never mind that I had absolutely no right to be jealous at all ...

Even the slightest sign of disapproval from me could have partially spoiled her happiness.

But if I wasn’t jealous, or possessive ... wouldn’t that make Tallia’s competitiveness seem petty, by comparison?

I was making her uncomfortable, regardless of what I said or did.

Tallia had a love for the ages - as I did, with Isa. But it wasn’t quite so easy for her. Isa had expressed it perfectly: ‘Emotions don’t always listen to reason’.

And Tallia certainly hadn’t expected to become pregnant.

***

Themis gave birth to a baby girl. There were mild celebrations across the capital. But people were still worried, waiting for the Queen.

I was well aware that Princess Maia Simonia had had two girls. Three children, two of them female. But I was with Isa now, and very happy. I didn’t forget Themis - that wasn’t possible. But I didn’t hold my breath, waiting for her.

Three weeks later, Maia Matila delivered a healthy baby boy.

You’d have thought that we were losing the war. There were fights in the streets of Cercen, and a knifing, followed shortly thereafter by a hanging.

There were rumblings and grumblings, and dire predictions. News of these things reached us at the front, but when I returned to Cercen, I was astonished by how dark the mood of the city had become.

- “I don’t understand. I said to Tisucha. “The Queen is still young. She’ll have a girl, eventually. And even if she doesn’t, there’s Maia Simonia and her daughters.”

- “I agree.” she said. “But people are in an odd frame of mind. The opposition has been busy, spreading rumours and outright lies.”

- “What kind of rumours?”

- “That the war should be over, but that the Queen is prolonging it unnecessarily, to maintain her position, and to further the military career of her Pylosian lover.”

- “Ugh. That old lie?”

- “Yes. You are very well liked, Cook. But your reputation suffers whenever you are linked to the Queen in this way.”

- “And Kanitz has never courted popularity.” said Talley. “She doesn’t bother taking credit for what she’s achieved. It’s not humility, or ... modesty. People just don’t realize what she does, so they’re ready to believe lies about her.”

- “It’s a damned shame.” I said.

We had a visitor to the Belere, a few days after that: Countess Aneli.

- “My Colonel!” she said, with a big grin. She kissed me soundly on both cheeks. “Now the great General ...” Her eyes were moist.

- “I’ll always be beholden to you, Aneli.” I said. “For giving me my start ...”

- “And I let you command my regiment, too.” she said.

I got it. Attending Aneli’s hemmers had been part of my ‘launch’ into Westron society. Without that, Tudino might never have asked me to be with her either.

Thankfully, she hadn’t come to talk politics. She was curious to meet Isa, of course. Aneli also wanted to see Tallia and Senau, but they’d gone into winter quarters with the regiments. I was pretty sure that Tallia was trying to avoid her family.

“I’m hosting a small gathering.” said Aneli. “Faregil, and the Company Captains. Will you come? You can bring Captain Isaal, too.”

- “I wouldn’t miss it.”

It was a little early, to be celebrating victory. But if Aneli simply wanted to build some esprit de corps, and re-connect with her officers, then this party was a good idea.

- “Will she ask you to attend her next hemmer?” asked Isa.

- “It’s Aneli: I have no way of knowing what she’ll say or do. But if she does ... I think I’ll politely decline.”

- “If that’s what you really want to do.”

- “It is.” I smiled at Isa. “But I love the way you said that. You managed to hint that I shouldn’t, without actually telling me what to do.”

Isa didn’t say anything more. She couldn’t help grinning a little, though.

***

Ishana, Koroba and Madze accompanied us to Aneli’s estate (Nasta was in hemmer). I didn’t think that we were particularly early, but only three of the Company Commanders had arrived before us.

We washed our feet, while Isa brushed off her shoes (she still hadn’t copied my custom of going barefoot to travel).

We entered the great house. Aneli was there.

But I wasn’t expecting the sight that greeted us: there were a dozen soldiers with her. They had muskets - levelled at us.

Isa and I were unarmed, except for my sword. Koroba’s hand went to her weapon, but she stopped, suddenly, as Ishana spoke.

- “Don’t, Koroba. I’d hate to have to shoot you.”

Ishana had a pistol - the pistol I’d given her - levelled at the little blonde’s head. At this range, she couldn’t miss.

- “Ishana?” I said.

- “Cook!” said Aneli. “Please - don’t say or do anything hasty. Wait - let me explain to you what’s going on.”

I didn’t have much choice.

Two of the soldiers took charge of Madze, who hadn’t said a word. Ishana kept her pistol aimed at Koroba, until the blonde’s weapons had been taken, and her hands bound behind her. They tied Madze, as well. And then Isa.

The soldiers took me into the next room, which was Aneli’s dining hall. I recognized their uniforms, finally - because I’d seen them at the siege of Tonol. They were from General Brune’s regiment.

Aneli followed me in, as the soldiers sat me on one of the fine chairs.

- “Please, Cook.” she said. “Be patient. It will all become clear.”

- “You set a trap for us?” I said, coldly.

- “It’s not what you think.” she insisted. “Give us a chance to explain.”

- “Us?”

Another door opened, and a woman walked in.

- “Hello, Cook.” said Countess Iloni.

*****