What Are You Thinking

This article is my out loud thoughts about African American women in the United States, written from the perspective of an African American man. I in no way say that this is a definitive guide or that these observations hold true to 100% of the AA female population. However in my experience and those of my male counterparts we have observed that more times than not a few things hold true.

I.

"I don't need a man to do anything for me" This is the mantra and the theme song that African American females seems to sing from the rooftops. I fundamentally believe that they are not trying to convince us (Men) of this fact but rather to fool themselves into believing its true. Keeping in mind of course the contraindication between word and action. As any African American man can attest to even while screaming at us about how much we are not needed we are usually asked in the same breath to buy them something, pay bills for them, ect.

II.

"There are no GOOD Black Men anymore" Once again a phrase I have heard time and time again. Keep in mind you hear that not only from today's generation but we grew up hearing it from past generations of African American women. What that would leave you to believe is that there never was a good black man. Now we all know this to be very untrue. Fact is these confused and self deluded women have a very warped standard of what constitutes a "Good Man." What I have gathered about what makes up a "Good Man" is that while they are expected to be a leader by these women, the women will not tolerate him leading her. While he is expected to retain and indeed excel in gainful employment he is also never expected to enjoy the fruit of his labor because that fruit is to be enjoyed by the woman exclusively. While he is expected to be a contentious father to his children he is not allowed to instill any values or knowledge into his children, in fact he is only there to provide financial support for said children. While he is expected to be a giving lover to his spouse, it is at her sole discretion as to whether he is to receive any sexual gratification from his woman.

III.

"I don't do that anymore, I am married now" This is one that never fails to blow my mind. These women are very quick to tell you and indeed show how kinky, sexual, and downright slutty they were and can be. This is a side that you only see while in the process of courtship. Once she feels she has you secured, be it involved in a exclusive relationship or you have actually married her these actions are gone forever. And the excuse that is given is that she only did those things because she was single. Now maybe I am missing something in the translation but that seems to me to be completely backwards. My belief is that in fact your spouse is the only person that you should be free enough to share the entire extent of your sexuality.

IV.

"White women are stealing all our men" Once again another lame excuse passing blame about the failures of these women. No one is stealing the black men. We were discarded by our women as useless and not meeting the standards set forth in this article. Therefore somewhere in that warped mentality of the "modern black woman" they firmly feel that even though we (black men) are useless and not worth there time and attention, we have to keep trying to please that which is un pleas able and not look for fulfillment or happy healthy relationships outside of what they decide we should be happy with. IN other words, the thought is I do not want you but I will be damned if anyone else has you either.

V.

" I am not a bitch, whore, ect" I submit that if you were to ask the random black female what there favorite song is most times it will involve lyrics that in fact identify them as said bitches, whores, ect. My thinking, if you respond to a whore anthem then you identify yourself as said whore. Once again maybe I am just missing the translation in thinking. But let's look outside of music and into fashion. Most love to dress in the manner of what would be termed as a very overtly sexual manner. However what is said is that I love to dress with my tits and ass showing and act in a loose manner but I am a lady of class and substance. Am I the only one confused by this?

VI.

"I am a independent Woman" I saved this one for last but in no way mean it to be least. I do not believe that most would be able to define independence if quizzed. As I stated earlier from the time you meet them they give you a list of things you must take care of on their behalf before they could consider spending the time to get to know you. If you do not believe me pick any ten songs by black female artists at random and I assure you that the lyrics of at least 5 out of the 10 list in detail what a man must do for them in order to be with them. That is NOT independence. The closest definition would be extortion.

In closing I will once again say that the generalizations indeed do not apply to all black women, however the vast majority do fit into one or more of the subcategories in the preceding article. I am not saying by any means to give up on the "modern black female" But I am saying that the way of thinking in the modern black female needs a drastic overhaul. Healing is not a destination but in fact a process. To change the world we live in means changing the people that inhabit it on a very internal and individual basis.