What Do Married Women Really Think?

First time writing evah! I just started reading Literotica this year by accident. Anyway, I hope this is entertaining. I think I'm fucking hilarious and I think about things a little differently than most. Or maybe it just comes out in the writing. To the lady Lit readers, there is some questions I raise through out the story trying to figure how you think every day and welcome feedback to those mystery's! When you see???, that's one of the questions.

It sounds so much better in my head!

*****

Part 1 "Besides 2 women at the same time!"

I got home that night at the usual 6 pm. My wife Maddy and the kids were just starting to eat as I arrived.

My wife says, "Hey honey!"

We grab a kiss.

I like to get connected with the family when I get home and hear what they have been doing. I'm gone 12 hours a day from 6 to 6. So I try to make the most of it.

My daughter Jenny (13) told me about swimming with her friends and my son Dexx (10) went on about an epic water balloon and nerf gun fight that was sick. Maddy talked about being frustrated with how a woman she was working with didn't seem to like her Oh shit. I've heard this before.

Unfortunately my wife gets along great with 95% of everyone, but there is a 5% group that just really hate her. Just one of those things. Sometimes I go into the 5% zone too! What I really hate is when I have to get involved when the shit hits the fan. Even after I tell her to avoid that person. She seems to find the crazy person at every job.

Back to dinner. I didn't say much about my day. The family doesn't really ask how my work day went and I'm okay with that. I think it's a husband thing we do right??? Cause it's just a job man. Instead, I usually say something like, "Five days till the new spidey movie guys!"

I didn't eat that much because I had a game tonight. I play in softball league on Wednesday nights.

"What time is your game?" Maddy asked

"9 pm. What's your big plan tonight?"

"Work. I have a project deadline to meet," and she frowns.

"Sorry babe."

Maybe if she spent less time on facebook, she'd be done already. But I don't say it. Not a battle I want to start. I would need a time motion study by a independent authority for her to finally realize she has a problem.

We got the kids to bed. I kiss Maddy and head out. I jumped in the Tundra and selected some pregame music to get me amped up. I think LA Guns will do. You are saying who? Google them and take a listen. Crank it up to "It's never enough."

I would love to use one of their songs in one of my screenplays floating in my head for the soundtrack. "I wanna be your man" would be great for the guy entering a party or a dance. He's looking for the woman/girl he knew was going to be there.

Taking his time to get to her, but making lots of eye contact with her. They know each other, but maybe it's early on before any real relationship. Music dominating the sound. He still has quick chats with people in the background. Finally, he arrives in front of her. Background music stops and real bar noise is happening. He leans in to her ear while moving a little bit of her hair covering it and says, "That's a very sexy dress."

"I think so," she says.

They then stare at each other, both half smiling. Then some dbag interrupts and tries to start shit with him. Scene still under development. Time to rock it!

Had a good game and went 2 for 4 with 2 doubles. It's always good to get together with the guys. I'm very competitive in sports and don't take shit from anyone on the field. But I play fair and I am good sportsman. I prefer 3rd base and have no problem laying out for a line drive or extending a single to a double if the fielder is being lazy. Don't tell Maddy! If I get hurt, I can't do all the grocery shopping, pay the bills, trash, yardwork, cooking and cleaning that I normally do. She turns into a giant Beeaatch when I need to be cared for.

Tonight I made quite a few outs including a slow roller I bare handed. Johnie, our pitcher, walked with me to the parking lot.

"You were a beast tonight man."

"Gotta get the stress and out somehow!"

Johnie looked at me.

"Everything okay with the family?"

I been playing softball and basketball for 10 years with Johnie. He has seen the wife and kids many times over the years at games and knows of the medical ups and downs we've had.

"Yeah no issues there. My stress is money and work."

"Well take it easy. See you next week man."

Late games during the summer and a 12 hour work day sure does leave me beat though. Remember, I'm an old man you know. Actually, you don't know that yet.

On the way home I dialed it down to sports radio and give Maddy a quick text that I'm heading home. Injury free!

Maddy was working when I got home, so I hydrated. I then checked on the kids and took a shower. I let Maddy know I was heading to bed and she said she is going to stay up and work. During the summer she works at night because the kids are home a lot during the day. We grab a kiss and a long hug.

This a good time to introduce myself. My name is Charles, but I go by Chuck. 6 foot, 200 lbs, blue eyes, brown hair, decent looking and good shape for my age of 48. Hardly any gray, thank you very much dad. I'm trying to think if I look like a celebrity in any way. I got nothing.

I'm a bank branch manager and make decent money. I play some ball and spend the rest of my time with the family. I have some friends, but I just never seem to able to do much except the softball or winter basketball league. I need to fix that. The friend's thing. Not that Maddy is very cooperative with me having any free time. I get enough shit about my one game a week. Imagine trying to add a night or two with friends every month. Women isolate us from our pack to keep us out of harms way. But the bigger reason is to keep us from other women.??? I need advice on how to rejoin the pack. Part-time anyway. I don't want to start a cold war.

The Mrs. is 45. I love her dearly and would take a bullet for her. She has a great deal of things I love about her and flaws just like me. But she has never been a girly girl.

She keeps the vag kinda hairy and has no interest in being up to date with the trend of less is more. Ladies is the trend to have less hair now??? I have no idea because I only get to see one vagina up close and personal. I don't want to get slapped asking.

"Hey so taco chip or landing strip?"

I suppose I could put that on a t-shirt and then see what happens. Or the shirt could say, "I like taco chips and landing strips!" How many people would go huh, I dont get it? Damn! I would have worn that shirt in college. By the way, I call It a vagina because she thinks saying pussy is degrading. Seriously???

She is somewhat old school when it comes to sex. I have been very slowly working on her. Blowjobs and even handjobs are still far and few between and I think I have only spunked on her body once. She also doesn't masturbate. I know, WTF. My guess is 20% women don't do the self indulgence thang and she is one of the 20%???

So here I am lying in bed. Thinking, I'm not going to get any action till the weekend. With the kids in the house, Maddy will only have sex when they are gone or 100% asleep. This leaves a very small window of opportunity. And for whatever reason, Maddy showers like every 2/3/4 days. I have to say, I don't want to go down on the swamp on day 2 or 3 or 4!

I'm not sure she has ever had a vaginal orgasm. She either gets off from my mouth or grinding. From what I read that seems to be the case, but still researching.???

I shower every day and I love it when Maddy joins me. My DNA has me wired that shower and hot tub sex is very hot!

Let's get back to me, because I'm about to get busy with the Punisher 7. I do well according to my Google research. My Punisher measures almost 7" (6 7/8") at Peak glass cutting lust, 5 5/8 inches girth and some good looking veins. Yeah. I checked all that shit out. Full workup. I was curious, I felt it was bigger when I was in my 20's. I wonder if it's old guy shrinkage?

There is an ex-girlfriend out there with a Polaroid of me on a bed when I was 21. From the angle of the photo, I looked porno huge. That's why I can't be president with that out there. Could you imagine if I ran and the ex produces the photo and my wife says WTF! The kids are like, Dad? Ladies are sentimental, so I know she still has it hidden away somewhere. I just know it!???

Back to googling about my cock. I guess most the studies say the average is around 5 to 6 inches. One study said that I fall into top 10% with the Punisher 7. Yes, I rounded up because this isn't Harry Potter.

There are different measuring techniques. I measured from the top and push in till you hit the pubic bone which adds 1/8". I keep my hair trimmed low and prefer not much on my balls. That shit grows back fast though.

I have been trying to see if I can get my wife to measure me. But I want it to be her idea.

One night I whispered, "Are you ready to get plowed by 6 plus inches."

"It seems bigger than that,"

It actually is. Seed planted.

What does the average married women like when it comes to hair on the punisher??? I know I don't like pubes in the mouth. The Mrs. doesn't like them either. One time she complained when we were kissing after I had went down town on her, that there was a pube rolling around between us.

"So remove it."

"Gross, that would look gross."

She took my suggestion as a complete shave down and I meant just around the epi center. Oh well.

Back to my devious plan of measuring! I hope after she measures me, she mentions it to her friends that she has a Punisher 7. Don't besties share all???

I'll make sure I give her friend a nice hug on the next visit. I hope she's thinking, Chuck has a 7" cock. I wonder if I will feel it when we hug?. Yes, I'm weird. But totally harmless.

I would never step out on Maddy. A couple a years ago a lady was flirting with me at a bar.

"We're friend's now right? Maybe we can be friends with benefits."

Then she backed her little ass up against my crotch. I explained I was married and made a quick exit. Of course the spank bank had another entry!

So it's bedtime for me. I usually go to bed around 10:30 because I have to get up at 5:30 for work. Maddy is a night owl during the summer, so I tend to relieve myself every other day. Pround member of jacking since 1981. At work I see a lot of women and I have no problem fantasizing about them. Or my lady neighbors. Or my wives friends. Or my kids friends moms. Or Eva Green, Brandi Love...

My most current fantasy is about two moms that I recently ran into via the play date. My son is friends with their kids. Beth is my age and has some nice boobs. Jodi is a brunette and has a sexy walk.

I think that married women do what I do, Check out the goods and fantasize later how it would be to you know wink wink nudge nudge.??? I don't think they get off every other night like I do of course. I slyly checked out Beth's tits. Are those nipples I see? I give Jodi's tits a glance when I could. Hopefully just enough to make them think maybe I was. Most likely after I leave they say what a perve I am. I have no frickin idea.??? But they are always very nice to me. So who knows.

When I'm going to have an opportunity like this I make sure I dress decent and have a little cologne on. Dressing decent includes the appropriate pants that show the Punisher in a good light. During the OP, I make sure to get close and give them a good opportunity at the scent. I have no idea if it works. But it makes me smile. I hope they think about me later that night in the shower! I do wonder if married women check guys out in the punisher zone and does cologne play a role into it their memory of the guy/cock/cologne event.??? Which I will now call a GuCCE. I think most women do. But they're sneaky sneaky at it. They know when we look at their tits like in "Take me home tonight." She tells him every time he looked at her boobs. I think that is 80% true.??? I see a lot of ladies check their girls after I looked or before they get closer to me. I am curious, do they look at their girls to just do a general boob check or are they worried that their nipples are hard. Or maybe they want hard nipples. I always prefer hard nipples.

So there I was at Jodi's house to drop off my son and Beth was there. As I said, I did a little check out and started the GuCCE. So tonight in bed, I was fantasizing that I was with Beth and Jodi at the end of a party at her house. My wife and kids were out of town. Both ladies men were out of town as well. Hmmm, how convenient. Well it's my fantasy. It has to be safe for me to get away with it.

We are all buzzed and the guests have left. I stayed to help clean up. Both ladies knew my family was gone and had been teasing and flirting with me the last hour. So we plop down on the couches and I'm wondering how I'm going to get home?

"Beth you have to stay, you can't drive," Jodi said.

"I was thinking the same thing, Chuck what's your plan, you should not drive."

"I don't know. I have a reputation to protect," I said with my eyebrows lifted.

"He looks scared," Beth says as she giggles.

Jodi changes the subject.

"Soooooo Chuck. While we have you trapped and scared, I have a couple of married guy questions... about sex."

She has on a big smirk.

"Okay. But whatever I say stays here between us. You have to promise. This is off the record,"

They both promise while they continue to giggle.

"I mean really promise, like an oath. So say after me, Chuck, I promise not to repeat all the sexually hot explicit remarks that I have heard and will only think of them when I'm alone rubbing one out in shower or a hot tub."

They both said it giggling the whole time.

"Okay lay it on me."

Beth asks first.

"What can a married woman do to get more sex! We do it like once every 2 weeks."

She is pretty hammered and her filter is off.

"Well, I can think of a lot of things you could do."

"Like?"

"Well, let's say you're watching a movie with the hubby and you just get on your knees and give him a blowjob. If that doesn't lead to sex, then you got bigger issues."

"Why do guys always want blowjobs?" Jodi said.

I give a deep sigh and hang my head like Magnum would.

"Really? Because it feels really fucking good and women look damn sexy giving them. And by the way, we would like you to swallow or take the load on your tits, your tummy, your landing strip, or ass. All the hot spots. It's in our DNA. We don't do it cause were nice guys. If we did, you'll scream at us and never give head again. Just sayin."

"Look, you like fucking and getting eaten out right? They both feel great but different. Its the same for us. Quid quo pro. Just a headsup! Guys can have sex every fucking day. If my wife gave me a blowjob or handjob daily, I'd do whatever she wanted in the sack. We might run out of money shots, but she still can work the Punisher."

"Okay, what is a Punisher and what else besides lots of blowjobs," Jodi says while she does the hand motion for blowjob and rolls her eyes.

"The Punisher is my cock."

They are really perplexed now. So I went at them again.

"Hey, you asked about how to get fucked more! Ask him for help in rooms the kids avoid. Like the laundry or the bathroom. Make sure you were a skirt or tank top. And no bra's dammit. You have to be open to a quick hard fuck. When he comes in, lift your skirt and say my panties are dirty would you take them off. Or, he is in bed. Take your clothes off and straddle him and put your tits in his face,"

I was on a roll.

"That works?"

"Hell yeah! I would suck your tits and squeeze your juicy ass. Hypothetically speaking. If he doesn't? You should just slap him."

"Oh my," Beth giggles.

"Sorry, I get right to the point when I'm really hard."

I pondered what would happen if I put my Punisher in front of my wife's face. She would probably not like it.

"How about ways to make him take advantage of me like it was his idea," Jodi says.

"Ahhh manipulate him into it! A key weapon in every womens arsenal,"

"YES!"

"Jodi you are quite the eager student and I like that. Again, no bras! Also, wear sexy panties! Then you could accidently flash your hubby some tits or ass. Wear something see through. Us guys love seeing nipples and pussy. The MF chemical is released to the brain and we get hard,"

"What does MF chemical mean and why did you name your penis the Punisher?" Beth said.

"Must fuck. Or since your mothers, motherrrr fuckerrrrrrrrrrr," like Hank would say!

"I'm not ready to tell you the origin of my Punisher. And its a cock Beth."

At this point I know the ladies are horny. They're both fidgeting and sliding the legs together like crickets. Beth was biting her lip and eyeballing my Punisher. Jodi was looking at Beth for guidance.

"What's your biggest fantasy Chuck?" Jodi asks.

"Besides 2 women at the same time."

Lots of giggling ensue.

"No, seriously. I don't know why, but its two women and if there is a hot tub involved?"

I stare out the window and whisper.

"Great white buffalo."

"So, you would fantasize about having both of us in a hot tub?"

"Already have. Do you have a hot tub? No? Alright. hmmm. What about a real big shower,"

Lots more giggling.

Part 2- "BCJ sandwich"