What Goat Farm?

"A few male friends?"

"Don't interrupt, John, or I won't be able to get thorough this. I decided that it was worth a chance so I had her fix me up with Addison."

"So, was it worth it?"

I watched her squirm a little before answering.

"Actually, John, Yes. It was worth it. It was fun and exciting. I can't lie to you. I enjoyed every minute. Up until I met Addison, you were the only guy that I had ever been with. I would never consider leaving you to be with him, but I always had a good time when the two of us were together."

"So, I was just a big joke?"

"It wasn't like that, John. I was not trying to replace you or make fun of you. I was just attempting to make my life a little more interesting."

I really didn't need to hear any more. I turned and walked out of the door. I went to Wendy's for lunch.

It was just before noon the next day when Detective Daniel Greene came to see me. He allowed me to drive my own car to the station. I think he did that so that he wouldn't have to drive me back. He did not seem too concerned about my showing up.

We talked for three hours. I finally called Glenn Roast. He got everything settled so that I could leave and he also got copies of Doreen's statement about the alleged murder. Her certified comments about the reason for the trip were going to be enough for the divorce papers. Detective Greene seemed to be baffled. He said that he would have to contact the Montego Bay police and Jamaican authorities before he could arrive at any course of action. I am totally ignorant about all the terms used to describe the different levels of killing someone and what proof is required for each one. He was trying to explain it to me, but I blocked it out.

Late that night, I got another call from Malcolm James. It was short; very short.

"Tomorrow, Mister Ellison. Tomorrow will be a glorious day."

Tomorrow came and nothing happened till about 2pm, when I got a call from Detective Greene. He was sort of laughing as he talked, which I found unnerving. "Mister Ellison. Watch the 5 o'clock local news this evening and the 6 o'clock national news. I think that you will find it interesting."

It was a short news blurb, but, as Detective Greene said, interesting.

"Two local men were found wandering nude down a dirt road in the hills about 60 miles south of Montego Bay, Jamaica. The men claimed that they had been kidnapped and held for ransom at a goat farm in the mountains. They managed to escape early this morning and make their way towards town where they were rescued."

The national news was basically the same except it had pictures of the two men and mentioned their names. A short while later I got another call from Detective Greene. He asked me to come in the next morning so that we could discuss the circumstances surrounding the incident. I thought that that was mighty generous of him.

Mom thought the whole thing was hilarious and I think she even winked at me. I slept well that night.

As I went into Detective Greene's office, I saw Doreen and Cora being escorted into the same interrogation room that I had previously been in. I am sure that they were going to have a lot of fun the rest of the day.

"Mister Ellison, I am not sure that you are completely innocent concerning this affair, but I see your involvement from a far different perspective now."

He was actually smiling when he said that. I couldn't help but return the expression.

"As I said before, I am completely innocent of anything to do with the disappearance of those two men."

I thought he was going to burst out laughing, but instead he offered me a cup of coffee.

"It appears Mister Ellison that Mister Bostic and Mister Eberly made a midnight excursion from their vacation compound to purchase a little local weed; Ganja by name. Five minutes after they left the hotel they were kidnapped, tied up, and taken on an hours drive over rough mountains roads. This is all their version, you understand."

I sipped the hot coffee that one of the uniformed officers brought into the office, and smiled with a little nod.

"Both men were stripped of all their clothing and locked in a goat pen; a goat pen that just happened to have bars on the doors and windows. The next morning they were informed that a ransom demand for ten thousand dollars US each, had been delivered to the ladies that had accompanied them to the hotel. They would not be released until the ransom had been paid."

Detective Greene stopped for a moment and tasted some of the machine coffee. It sucked, but he seemed to be used to it.

"Detective Greene, I don't believe that my wife or my sister-in-law had access to that kind of money."

"Apparently not. The following day, Mister Bostic and Mister Eberly were told that the ransom demand had been dropped to five thousand dollars each, and that this was presented to both Mrs. Ellison's."

The coffee was actually tasting a little better by this time.

"The next day, the price was a thousand each, and on the day that the ladies departed to come home, the price had been dropped to a thousand dollars for both men."

"I can only assume that the ransom was never paid."

"Oh, it gets better than that Mister Ellison, much better."

He motioned to silently inquire if I wanted more coffee, but I declined.

"That night, the men conveniently overheard their captors talking. Since the ransom had not been paid, the kidnappers decided that they were going to have to kill both of them in the morning. Luckily, they discovered that one of the windows in the hut was unlocked."

I found it hard to control myself at that point and my host was having the same difficulty. We managed to keep it down to muffled snickers.

"In a heroic effort they broke free from their confinement and made a mad dash for freedom down the mountain, with no shoes and no clothes."

I swear that if it had not been such a serious situation, both of us would have burst out laughing. We took a moment to contain ourselves and then he started up again.

"Mister Ellison. Neither your wife nor your sister-in-law ever got a ransom demand. Now isn't that amazing?"

"Is that a question or a comment?"

Now, both of us were actually laughing, but very quietly so as not to attract attention.

"Seriously though, Mister Ellison, I am sure that you had some input into this entire fiasco, however, I don't see any reason for us to pursue anything at this end."

"Well that is good news. Can I consider this case closed, or should I be prepared for something popping up in the future?"

"It is closed as far as I am concerned. Your wife and sister-in-law, however, have a few more questions to answer about the charges that they made against you and your brother. Our legal people are reviewing their statements pretty closely, just in case."

Doreen and Cora were still in the interrogation room as I left the building. My wife saw me as I walked by and tried to make some sort of gesture. I pretended that I didn't see her and kept walking.

It was a front page story in the local newspaper, and both Doreen and Cora were mentioned by name. I am sure that they will be getting a lot of questions about that from all of our friends and relatives. I stopped at a Taco Bell for lunch on the way home.

That evening I got another call from Malcolm.

"How are things at your end, Mister Ellison?"

"Couldn't be better, my friend. I am very impressed."

"Thank you. I always do my best, Mister Ellison. A few days ago I mentioned the possibility of a position here that might suit you. Do you think that you might be interested?"

"I would be interested in discussing it."

"Fine. There will be a ticket waiting for you at the Jamaica Air Lines counter tomorrow morning. Don't worry. It will be a round trip ticket." Malcolm was laughing on the other end; a wicked little laugh.

Six weeks later, I was completely relocated to Falmouth, Jamaica. It appears that Malcolm James had many friends who had a lot of money that needed to be invested. They bought an all-inclusive resort facility that had come upon hard times. Since 90% of the clientele were from either North America or Europe they wanted a man of my stature to be the responsible person of authority. Yes. I sold out. I was now in the position of posing as a front, or a shill so to speak. Although I was required to actually setup and manage the facility, I still reported to a clandestine group who wished to avoid any and all publicity. I was well-paid and well-compensated.

It was an interesting position. I had a lady working with me, named Marja who was wanted by the Finnish authorities for the murder of her philandering husband. As long as she stayed in Jamaica she was safe. She was in charge of all of the recreation, events, and advertising. Most of the other employees were locals, who for some reason seemed to have excellent work ethics. Many of them, I discovered, were hired by Malcolm James. Interesting.

There were three different restaurants in the facility and the prominent menu item at each of them was goat, in some fashion.

Doreen and Cora had been convicted of something, somehow related to the incident and they both received suspended sentences. I never even found out what the exact charges were.

I hear that Calvin Bostic and Addison Eberly both accused Doreen and Cora of refusing to pay their ransom. They never believed the story that no ransom demands were ever made. I think that those relationships died rather fast.

Five months after relocating, my divorce was finalized.

Time passes rapidly when you are having fun. Two years have gone by. Aerial is doing great at Duke and Roger was now at Texas A&M on a full scholarship. Doreen keeps in touch with them three or four times a month by cell phone.

Cora tracked Bobby down in Tennessee and had him served with papers to get custody of the twins. A week later, Bobby and the boys were in Alaska.

Marja and I moved in together. There is an odd excitement about sleeping with a woman who murdered her husband. Sort of like bungee jumping.

I had no further contact with Doreen until last week.

"Mister Ellison. I have good news and I have bad news." Malcolm has turned into a big joker. I always have to be on my toes.

"Give me the bad news first."

"The Silver Star cruise ship arrived this morning and your wife is on board with a gentleman friend."

A chill went up my spine.

"What is the good news?"

A big grin came across his face; big enough to show the demonic gold tooth.

"The Jamaican authorities had her name on a special list. Since we are now using passports for all Caribbean travel it was easy to flag her arrival."

" And what exactly does this mean?"

"The former Mrs. Ellison has been detained and charges are presently being prepared. It seems that her failure to report the kidnapping three years ago has been considered to be a criminal offense of some type. A lot of local officials were embarrassed by the whole situation and they seem more than eager to get a little payback."

"Damn, Malcolm. She didn't really do anything."

"I know that and you know that, but that doesn't make it go away."

"What is her travel companion doing to help her?"

"Nothing. When the police explained to him what had happened, he couldn't get back on the ship fast enough. I think he is planning on flying home."

Doreen ended up in Kingston and she was charged with several minor offenses. No suspended sentences here. Some low level US embassy people tried to intervene, but it was to no avail. She was sent to Fort Augusta for one year. It wasn't fair, but it seemed to be out of my hands.

It was three months until I got up the courage to go see her. Malcolm had arranged for the visit before hand.

"John. What are you doing here? It is so good to see you. How did you find out about this?" She looked a little thinner and gaunt. Perhaps it was the lack of make up and grooming.

"Doreen, I live here now. On the north side of the island. I've known about your problem for a while now."

"What? Why didn't you do something? You must know somebody here that can help me."

"What would you want me to do?"

"Get me out of here. PLEASE! You can't imagine what this is like."

I looked at her without speaking. I actually didn't know what to say.

"John. The guards are forcing me to provide favors for them."

"Favors?"

"Sexual favors, John. I am being forced or coerced to provide the male guards with sexual favors. Do I have to be more explicit?"

"No. I think I understand. I'll see what I can do."

We spent the next thirty minutes talking about the kids and what they were doing. When I left, I promised her again that I would see if I could help her.

I know that it doesn't all make sense. I should really be happy to see that the bitch is being torched, but she was my wife for twenty years and she was the mother of my children.

I explained the problem to Malcolm. He seemed a little confused at my concern for Doreen's well being, but promised to take care of things.

As if by magic, Doreen became off limits to the guards and there would be no repercussions. I never verified this, but I had Malcolm's word and that was good enough. The processes were started to change her sentence to time served.

Two months later, I drove down to Kingston on the day that she was being released and scheduled to go home. As usual, some low level embassy personnel were taking credit for getting her sentence commuted, but I knew better. I didn't get to talk to her, but we saw each other from afar. She was smiling, sort of, and wearing a powder blue maternity dress as she walked across the tarmac.