What If? (Friendship vs. Fantasy)

"I'm not going to nail you to the wall and screw you, you know."

~~~

You're not? I looked up at him and blinked innocently. I was lying, sprawled across his lap, with my legs spread somewhat suggestively and my head cocked to the side.

This was my friend . . . and my mentor. He was Ivy League smart, handsome in a Clark Kent / Superman kind of way, and kind, but also edgy, ambitious, and very human. And me? I was the cute, funny, clever girl who thought the world of him. I had an unimpeachable reputation and a dark secret.

He brushed my hair back from my face and cradled me closer to him.

"What if I want you to?" The words were a bare whisper, but I could tell he heard them; I felt his breath catch.

"I care about you . . . I don't want to hurt you." I could feel the slight shaking of his hands as he sighed. "I can't commit to anyone right now." I knew he was thinking of the future: hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans and the job waiting for him in another city, far away from me. I had two more years of school. And we'd only known each other six months. I didn't care.

"I want you." I pulled my head back and looked at him, watched his eyes darken with lust.

He pushed me back onto the couch and pinned my arms above my head, gently circling my wrists with his hands. He started to kiss me and then, right before his lips touched mine, asked, "how much?"

"Where is the wall?" I felt him laugh, softly and darkly, as his lips captured mine and he swept me up into his arms and stood. He must have understood then . . . how badly I wanted it. I'd been horny for so long I couldn't honestly remember when I'd started wanting sex, much less how I'd managed to deny myself for over two decades.

Still he broke the kiss to ask quietly, "Are you sure?"

I just wrapped my legs around his waist and nodded against his neck. I wondered if he could feel how wet I was . . .

I felt him walking, my head spinning with excitement as I rained teasing kissing on his neck. The cool hard wall against my back and the press of his hard cock made me cum again and I gasped for air. I thought I caught a glimpse of his shocked expression, but he quickly closed his eyes, buried his hand in my hair, and started kissing me. It felt heavenly, like he was fucking my mouth with his tongue. I think I came again . . . this time he just smiled against my mouth wickedly as I shook in his arms.

"Naughty girl," he teased, sliding one of his hands from my ass to the front of my panties. Somehow, we managed to get them off. "So wet," he breathed the words into my mouth as he buried his fingers inside my pussy and circled my clit with this thumb. His thigh and the wall supported my weight as my body turned to water against him. I screamed.

"Shh..." He gently covered my mouth with his hand and I blushed, remembering the fact that I had neighbors. Moving his hand back to my ass, he nuzzled my neck with his mouth, kissing and sucking all the way down to my breasts.

"Please fuck me." I begged, knowing he wanted it as badly as I did. I could feel that he did. He groaned as he pushed his thigh into me harder, unsnapping the button on his jeans. I heard the rasp of his zipper and felt his bare cock brush against me as he tore open a condom. Always responsible. We both were, I thought, remembering the fact that I was on birth control with a 99.9% efficacy rate.

"Promise me you'll tell me if you want me to stop." He spoke urgently into my ear. I just nodded and rubbed myself harder against him. I didn't want him to stop. In fact, I wanted him to start.

I groaned. But he wasn't finished being noble, "I have a hard time reading you . . . I don't want to be too rough."

"I like it rough." I insisted, he still didn't move, waiting for me to give him my word. "I promise." I spoke the words sincerely, but could not resist adding, "now please."

He grinned and spread my legs wider, fitting himself between them. "Yes ma'am."

He buried himself inside me. It hurt, but only for a moment, then my muscles clenched around him, pulling him in deeper and deeper. "You feel amazing." He breathed the words against my neck, then took my mouth with his own for a long, deep kiss.

"Come for me." He commanded, he still hadn't moved inside me, just wanted to see how much control he had. I felt myself orgasm as soon as he said the words. I guess he had alot. My body certainly thought so, anyway. "Good," he kissed me again and then he fucked me for real, thrusting over and over, deeper and deeper as I gasped and shuddered around him.

When he finally spent himself inside me, I'd lost track of how many times I'd cum. I think he asked me afterwards. I just looked at him blankly and said sometime to the effect of, "ummm . . . lots?"

He pulled out of me and I slid down his body and wrapped my arms around him for a hug, burying my hand against his chest. "Thank you," I said, so sated it was hard to stand. He kissed me on the forehead. "My pleasure."

~~~

"Hey," he pulled me out of my fantasy, "I thought you wanted to talk."

Oh. Right. The talking had been my idea. He'd wanted to make out; I'd wanted to talk. Now, I remembered. Ironically, the last time we'd hung out, I'd been the one who'd wanted to make out . . . and he'd wanted to talk. Sighing, I pulled myself up from his lap and tucked my legs beneath me.

He was my friend, my friends with benefits as of last week. We were still figuring out where the line was. And I was scared. Because as much as I really, really wanted to have sex with him, I knew it could cost me our friendship. See, the timing wasn't right for either of us to be in a relationship and we weren't sure we wanted to be in one with each other, but I had this crazy tendency to forget that when he was showing me how talented he was at kissing. So I needed to make a tough choice. And right now, that meant refraining from seducing him, even when he gave me the perfect prelude. I sighed again.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I said I'm not going to nail you to a wall and screw you. I care about you. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you."

"Ok," I gave him a soft smile, "that's probably for the best then."

So I didn't get exactly what I wanted that night. But I also didn't lose a friend.