What Kind of Man I Am Ch. 07

"Chip. I am getting you some clothes. I saw some shirts that you're going to love." texted Jacy.

Awesome. She should get more than one. I hate shopping for clothes.

"Okay. If you really like them, you can buy me more than one and I'll pay for it. Like 3 or 4. In different colors. Pants too! Shop till ya drop! Make me a solid 7 out of 10."

"You asked for it! We will drop them off at the house tomorrow night." said Jacy.

"Goodnight guys. Thanks again."

"Night :)" replied Jacy.

I walked in the door around 945 and was heading for the bathroom when I spied Joan's phone. I checked on Joan and it looked like she was out. I grabbed her phone and headed for the bathroom. What secrets will it reveal! I last looked at it about 10 days ago. So At meats I won't have sift through as much.

Pass code. Okay. Check her text messages.

You know, I need to clean mine up. I really don't want her to see my texts to Matty and Tiffany.

Here we go!

"I'm texting you from the bathroom. I walked in on Chip naked. God he has such a nice ugh! He asked if I wanted to bang the headboard on the wall. I wanted to jump on him so bad." texted Joan.

"So. Do it. Ride that big dick. You need it. Maybe you'll change your mind." said Laura.

"I'm just horny. Staying the course. Stupid boyfriend is broken!""

"I can't believe your passing that up. From what you told me." Replied Laura.

"It will be easier for both of us doing it this way." she said.

I had her on the ropes huh. Here's a message about Sunday.

"I'm exhausted. Chip didn't go and my parents grilled me. I screwed up. It would have been better if he went. At least he has that trip coming up. This will be over soon." texted Joan.

"Hon. Didn't you say you were going to talk to him?" replied Laura.

"Yeah. But I just wanted to calm things down. The kids were upset. I was upset. Now I can get back to the plan."

Fuck! Seriously?. My hands were shaking again. Focus. Take a picture of the text. I couldn't do it yet. I sat on the toilet and

checked her Facebook Messenger and email.

Looky here. An email thread from The Offices of fuck your husband over and send him on his way. Oh this is good stuff. They lined out their game plan and when her next appointment was. I'll just forward this to my email and delete it from the sent folder. I took the picture of the text with my phone.

I came out of the bathroom and returned the phone. I need to get a virus in her phone. Maybe if I sign her for some weird websites?

I'll do that next Wednesday.

Kids will be home soon. I need to distract myself before I punch a wall. I went for a huge Malibu and Pepsi and then headed for the TV room. I sat down and got a text from Kixx.

"Dad. I'm on the way."

Hmmmm. Guardians 2?

Kixx was right on time at 10:30.

"Hey Dad. Whatcha' watching?"

"I'm a loser. Watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2 for the fricking third time."

"Oh cool. I love this movie. Baby Groot."

Text from Chel came.

"Daddy. Be home soon."

A couple minutes later.

"Hey guys. What are you watching?" said Chel.

"Guardians 2." Kixx said.

"You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags, but that isn't true at all."

We all giggled.

Fuck you Joan. I love being with my family. You want out, see ya.

Chel sat down beside me and leaned in. I put my arm around her and then tousled Kixx's hair with my other hand. He smiled back and settled in to watch the rest of the movie. I couldn't think of a better way to end the night.

Wednesday August 23, 2017

I woke up in feeling great. Why am I in such a good mood? Or is that physically everything seems real good? May need a big injection of caffeine before I can figure this out.

The next real cognizant moment was when I was at the parking lot at work. I was mystified as to what has happened to me the last 2 hours. I can remember the morning, but it was like it didn't happen. Weird.

I sprayed some Gio Armani in all the right places and headed in. I can't believe I drank that entire large iced coffee already. Java java java java!

The day continued in fast forward mode. It was already lunch and I needed to come up with some tunes. My mind drifted to Tiffany and the song Fire Woman just popped in my head. I qued up the Cult and looked at the song list from that album.. My god, I know most these songs. The Cult rocks. I should look for a T-shirt online while I listen.

"Well, shake it up. You're to blame. Got me swayin' Little honey."

I scarfed down some celery with sun butter and some Halos while I surfed for a shirt. Oh shit, I gotta have this long sleeve Sonic Temple. Has the silhouette of the lead guitarist on the back. Bad ass! I took out my credit card and made the buy. I'll send it to Matty's. This has been great day so far.

Then it hit me. For two weeks I have been working out and playing basketball. Eating better too! I think I feel better. I really like it. Pour in a little music, cologne and some ladies. How can I not be in a good mood.

Well, there was also meeting Diane last night. She seemed intelligent and funny. Yet another set of ass cheeks I want to squeeze and bury my face between. Argh. So hot and sticky sweet! How did I go to focusing on boobs to butts? Who cares. Let's hit the bag and rock out.

"Come on little honey and dance with me. Sweet soul sister!"

After the workout, I put myself and the office back together. The funny thing about sweating, the cologne doubles in strength and then combines with sweat. I think I smell really good, like yesterday.

Man, I need to hit the restroom. This day is the best! I think I need another iced coffee. I was softly singing my way through the bullpen...

"Smoke stack lightning baby,,,,"

"Chip. You had something shipped to you at work? From Volume..." said Kimberly.

Back to reality. Oh Shit. That's the cum pills. How did they get here so fast? I grabbed the box.

"Oh yeah. Thanks Kimmy."

Don't look sheepish or guilty! Poker face!

"You going to open it?" said Carrie from behind me.

Fuck.

"Nope."

Smirk. Oh yeah. Do the opposite. Good move. I started to walk away.

"Then I will." Carrie said.

She started walking with me.

"Back off soul sister."

"What are you hiding?" she asked in a sing song voice.

"Nothing. It's a present."

"You suck at lying. I'll tickle it out of you. I'll get some help. Who knows what will happen? Buttons may pop off." said Carrie.

I side stepped into a empty Conference room and stopped. My cock was filling with blood thinking about buttons, pop! Carrie followed me in and was right in my face.

"Low blow Carrie! I tell you what. ummm. I will tell what it is... in... umm three weeks."

"Chip. Three weeks! You realize I'm a woman. I can't wait three weeks! I can't wait three hours."

She stared at me with her hands on her hips. Damn sexy,

"Care. Please. Three weeks. Put it on your calendar."

She started to reach for the box. I grabbed the arm and she stepped forward. Her breasts were against my chest and she started to tickle me with her other hand. I set the box down and grabbed her other arm. I quickly put both her wrists in one hand.

"Alright Missy. Time for payback." I said and then started to tickl her. She started to come forward like she was going kiss me or bite me. I let go quickly.

I need to say something! Eject! Eject!

"I'll take you to lunch? Will go to the French bakery cafe that you like so much."

A huge smile spread across her face. Why do I feel like I just screwed up again? Mark it down, seven hours and then I did something stupid.

"Okay. Deal. The only reason I'm doing this is cause your taking me out." she said.

"It's not a..."

"Don't say it! Don't you dare say it. Let me have my moment. Geez Chip. I know just what to wear. By that time, I can dial things back up too."

"Oh shit."

"What did you say?" she asked.

"That wasn't supposed to be out loud."

"Well, your right. You're in trouble." she said.

"I know. It seems to be happening to me everyday at some point."

In a week I can relax and let this just happen. She sashayed happily back to the bullpen. What the fuck is wrong with you. I have another date?

The Captain likes it. Of course he does.

"Your the man Chip. Take her out. Don't fuck with a streak. Tell her about those pills and she's gonna straddle me in the bakery."

Give her the machine gun baby!

Your insane. She would at least wait till we got to the Jeep. I smiled to myself.

I better take the pills to the Jeep, my ladies are way too crafty.

"She's crafty, and she's just my type!"

I started the Jeep and turned the AC on. I quickly opened the box and read what I needed to do. Hmmm, twice a day. Might as well take the first dose now. I pocketed the pills and drove to the nearest Dunks. Iced coffee.

I headed back into work and my bowels reminded me I still had to use the bathroom. I hit the stall and I took out my phone. I need to not think about pumping Carrie full of cum.

"My ma ma ma machine gun!"

I opened up a private window and typed in a Loving Wives Literotica search. It's been awhile since I read something from here. Let's see If I can get a short read in. Panty Hose and Condoms. That sounds fucking funny.

Holy shit, this is over the top. I finished my business before the story was over. I decided to stay in the stall till the ending. If Joan pulled a gun me. Seriously, that is fucked up. Put her in jail for sure. I closed it out and washed my hands.

Heading back through bullpen and Carrie gave me the evil sex eye. I winked at her and then she giggled. That made me grin big and walked right into Lori. To keep her from falling, I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me.

"Sorry. You okay honey?"

My cock was hanging large down my right leg. The Captain was nicely centered in between her legs, like the night of the Monica's attack. Lori had put her hands up when I hit her and they now were on my chest.

"Uh. Yeah. Wow. Give me second Chip." she said.

I didn't think I hit her that hard, but she is half my weight. Did she just grind into me? Oh crap. Think about baseball! DH Ohanti, 1B Pujols, 2B... too late. She just pressed hard again!

"Chip! Ballet dancer position. Nail her in front of your girls!

"I'm starting to feel better now. You pack a very hard wallop." she said and then smirked.

She smiled and sat in her chair that she had gotten out of when I came by.

"I'm sorry Lori." I said.

"Your sweet. Thank you." she said.

I headed for my office throbbing. There killin' me! A few minutes later Carrie came strolling in.

"Nope. Don't say it. No. We are in full dial down. Turn around, unless you have work related topic." I said as I wagged a finger at her.

She bit her lip and looked unsure of what to do. She pulled her shirt taunt over the guns and walked out. Signature move. Respect. I stayed in my office the rest of the afternoon and cranked through some work. Big boss wanted me to look at different revenue streams that wouldn't cannibalize anything we sell currently. I had some ideas, just need some intense research time. Need to find some focus.

Fuck. We should carry yoga pants. How would I talk the boss into that? Hell, I should start my own store. I would make a killing.

SASS! Yoga pants - Sexy Ass!

I could see it now. Me helping customers on the sales floor.

"I'm looking for the super tights?" a very fit blond asked me.

"Right over her. How much movement did you want?" I asked.

"Very little." she said sternly.

"Would you say a slight quiver then?" I asked.

"That would be perfect." she smiled.

"Try these on and call me over when you have them on so I can take a look at you."

"Okay. Thank you." she said.

"Hi." a voluptuous red head said.

"Hi back." I said.

"Where is the section for extra jiggly? she asked.

"Here, I'll show you."

"Oh, awesome." she said.

"Try this pair first. I think this is the one. We can test them to make sure they're what you're looking for."

"Oh. That would be great." she beamed.

The blond returned.

"So, these feel great. How do they look?" she asked.

"They looking freaking gorgeous on you. To be sure there is only a slight quiver. I should smack your ass once and check it."

"Okay." she smiled.

Smack. My spank propelled her forward.

"Oh yes!" she said.

"Oh that's hot. Very subtle quiver!" I said.

"Wow. You really know your stuff." she said.

"I do. I look at Sassy assess all day."

And bury my cock in them at night.

"Shouldn't you do the other cheek too?" She asked while she caressed her lip with a index finger.

"You know, you're right. I'm just going have my other hand holding your abs firmly while I do another test spank."

Smack..

"Yes!" and she pushed my hand down to her mound.

"Still awesome. You okay?" I asked.

"Phenomenal. I'll take 3!" she said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"If you need assistance getting out of those you can call me. Being they're super tight."

"Great. Here's my number. Shoot me a text. Bye." she said.

"Chip. I'm ready." said the redhead.

"Oh my. Those look. I'm at loss for words."

"Should we test them." she smirked.

Oh yeah. Let me just grab your cheeks and squeeze and jiggle them. My god I'm in heaven. Your just beautiful."

"Really?" she gushed.

"Let me shoot a quick video and show you. Okay, I can only use one hand unfortunately." I said.

"Wow. My ass does look hot." she said.

"There is one more test we could do to make sure." I said.

"Oh yes, please."

"I have to get on my knees. Now put her hands against the wall like I'm arresting you. Slightly spread your legs. Perfect. Just to let you know. I am going to squeeze and jiggle first. Then bury my face between your cheeks and motorboat." I said.

"Okay. do it!" she squealed.

"Mubblelub-uble-blub mubblelub-uble-blub."

"What do you think?"

"Oh my god, I think that your perfect. You tested out at a full seven inches!" I exclaimed.

I squeeze my cock running down my leg that is clad only in male yoga pants. I try to model the product. The men's line is called Shaft.

"Are you sure that's only seven?" she asked.

"Your very sweet. Here's a tape measure." I said.

"Wow. It is a full seven. And so thick. That's a really good fit then?" she asked.

"Absofuckinglutely. Your ass is drop dead gorgeous in these. You should get 5 pair. I love the see through panel on the outer thighs."

"You do?" She smiled.

"The seven doesn't lie. The Captain has a mind of his own. Actually it's a throbbing seven. That's the 2nd highest rating." I said smiling.

"What the highest?" she asked.

"That would be when I take you back in the fitting room and ..."

Alright, that's enough! Jesus. I could go on an on. Where's the enhanced camel toe section. Where is the sheer ass booty collection? I'm exhausted. Shit.

I waited till about 5:20 before I left.

No workout tonight so I would be ready for my game on Thursday night. I should pack tonight, so I don't have to stress about it Thursday. Once Joan goes to bed I can run the suitcase over to Matty's and put the new clothes in. Maybe I'll take the kids out for dessert tonight.

I got home to an empty house. I went and changed into shorts and shirt Dinner? Chicken stir fry is pretty quick. I started cooking and both Kixx and Chel arrived a little bit after 6 PM.

"Hey Dad. Smells good." said Kixx

"Be ready in 30 minutes." I said.

As I was plating the food, Joan arrived.

"Let me change and I'll be right there." she said.

We had a animated discussion at the table throughout dinner, except for Joan.

"You kids have any plans this week. Maybe you can get clothes this weekend?" I asked.

"I'm going to stay over at Jessie's house Thursday night. Kixx, your staying at Jacks still?" asked Chel.

"What are you doing Thursday night that you shooed the kids out for sleep overs?" I asked.

Busted. She used to bitch immediately if I did something like this. She would do it nicely, but still get on me.

"Oh. Uh. I was going over to Laura's for dinner and wine. Try to wind down from this crazy week."

"Okay."

This is to perfect. I couldn't help but smile at my luck.

"What?" Joan said smiling back at me.

"Nothing." I said.

"I need to look at some work things from the screw-up at the beginning of this week. Thanks for making dinner." she said.

Poof, she was gone.

"Hey guys, when was this discussed?"

"Sunday. Mom said she had something to do that night. Dad? You okay?" Chel said.

"Yeah. I had no idea about you guys or your mom having plans." I said.

Kixx seemed uninterested. Chel looked at me. I could read her face. Is Mom up to something? I just raised my eyebrows and shrugged my shoulders.

"You guys want to out for dessert?" I asked.

"DQ!" said Kixx immediately.

"Yeah. It is so hot. That sounds great. I need 10 minutes to get ready." said Chel as she headed to her room.

Kixx has been heading for the door and then stopped.

"Ugh, girls!" Kixx exasperated.

I peeked in the bedroom and Joan was on her computer. Probably ordering a one of those double dildos so she can take it in 2 holes. Maybe her and Laura do that stuff together. Is there such a thing as a 4 hole tandem device?

"Going to DQ, you want to go with us?" I smiled.

"No thank you." she said.

I don't think I would want to see her use a 2 hole dildo. Laura yes. No way either of them could be, lovers? Right? I'm pretty good at reading people. That would blow my mind if I was wrong.

We drove to the DQ. Busy as always during the summer. I stayed out of trouble and just spent the time with the kids. I talked about labor day weekend and going to the lake.

We could borrow Matt'y's boat and they could water-ski. They were really excited.

"Can we invite a friend?" asked Chel.

"Uh, sure. We have two tents. But we may need a third one then." I said.

Chel took her phone out and walked away. Kixx was busy texting. If I could harness that energy for good!

I got a little nervous. My mind went to Theresa inviting herself with Jessie. And there it is! Camping sex.

"OH Chip. I thought I heard a noise. Do you have anything big and hard I can use for protection?" she asked.

"Why yes I do. Come on in and I'll show you." I said.

I probably wouldn't lick her ass since we were camping. Fuck! I'm getting hard. Maybe we could play strip poker. That would be so hot. I'll have to bring cards with me. Right Chip. You're going to get balls deep in Theresa with the kids nearby? Fucker.

I wonder if Theresa would go camping with me alone? You know? We could get wild and no one would know. What happens in the tent stays in the tent. Once back to town, it's back to good friends.

Enough!

We finished our food and loaded back up. It was almost 9.

"Jessie would like to go with us. Her Mom said it was okay, but you should stop by sometime to give her the agenda." said Chel.

Stop by huh? Can't I just call. I smell trouble.

But the smell of pussy is strong bait! Cap loves the smell of pussy. Aye Captain.

"Balls deep trouble is the best kind of trouble Chip. She needs us to take the edge off. She needs a hard fucking!"

Tomorrow is going to be big day. Lawyer.

Laura. Vegas. I can get in a lot of trouble tomorrow.

Oh. I need to take my cum pills. Need to be prepared for battle in the coming weeks. Target rich environment. Right Cappy.

"Don't get cocky kid. But yeah. We're fucking somebody. Time to put the big gun to work!"

To be continued!