What She Didn't Tell me

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Slirpuff
Slirpuff
4,279 Followers

"Steve, I think you're over reacting. I'm with you every night and every weekend. If you want to pass on the parties, no problem, I just don't want you to think I'm intentionally avoiding you."

That's the way we left it and for the next two weeks life was pretty spectacular. We did things as a family and our alone time was more than satisfactory. Life was good again and it lasted for all of six months then something unexpected happened; Ann got sick. She got pneumonia and couldn't care for the kids. Both her and my mom pitched in during the day and I carried the weight at night. Luckily they weren't babies anymore or I would have gone nuts. I found that there was a lot more to do at home than I'd thought as I struggled to get it all done before bed.

I figured I'd have to sleep in the guest room for about a week, as it wouldn't have been smart for both of us to be sick at the same time. That's when I found out something I never wanted to know.

I was concerned about Ann's shallow and raspy breathing at night so after a couple of days I took one of our old baby monitors and put it in her room and the other in mine. The first night all I did was listen to her sleep making sure she didn't stop breathing during the night. The second night I listened but was so tired I fell asleep sometime after ten thirty but was up twice more when I heard her cough. The third night I told Ann I was going to bed early because I need a good nights sleep and she was finally starting to feel a bit better.

I was almost asleep when I heard her cell phone softly ring through the baby monitor. I was trying my hardest to fall back asleep when I heard my name mentioned; by then I was no longer tired.

"You know how I feel about you, it's never changed but I'm married," I heard Ann say. "Look, we've gone over this a million times before, you didn't want kids and I did. I did what you wanted last time and have regretted that day ever since. Don't say that about Steve, he's a fine husband and a good father. I told you before, what happened last time was a mistake and will never happen again. I let it go too far and I'm just glad I stopped it when I did," she said softly as I strained to now hear. "No matter how I feel about you, I'm married to Steve. He's my husband, and nothings going to change that," I heard her tell Ronnie as I wished I could hear both sides of this conversation.

"All right, it's not the hot burning love we had and he's not a big as you, but we have a bond that you and I will never have; our two kids. Ronnie, I've got to go, we can't keep doing this," she said as she finally got off the phone after a few more minutes more. Well, no sleep again for me tonight, but for an entirely different reason this time.

I left for work early the next morning while everyone was still asleep. Sleep was one thing I needed but I knew if I closed my eyes, I'd see Ann and Ronnie together and that I didn't want to even imagine. I called Carol and told her I was stopping over after work to talk to her and Bob. I e-mail Ann and told her I was going to be late and not to wait dinner on me.

The day dragged as I did next to nothing. By four thirty I was out the door and heading across town to my sister's house. I was all ready waiting in the driveway when Carol pulled up.

"Hey big brother give me a hand, I picked up pizza for tonight," she said opening up the back seat. "I got one pepperoni and one sausage, that should cover all of us."

We went through the garage into the kitchen as I laid both boxes on the counter while she got the plates.

"You want a beer, soda or a glass of wine?"

"Let me start with a beer and go from there."

"You want to talk while we eat?" she asked as Bob came walking in the door.

"Real nice, you guys started without me," Bob said as he grabbed himself a beer and two pieces of pizza. All right what's the big problem you couldn't talk about over the phone?"

I told the both of them about Ann's conversation with Ronnie last night as they stopped eating and just listened.

"Steve, I know Ann loves you, she told me so."

"Maybe like you'd love a dog or cat," was my reply.

"From what you told me, she's hasn't cheated on you, if that's any consideration," Carol said not really knowing just what to say.

"I feel used. It looks like the reason Ronnie and Ann broke up was that she got pregnant and had an abortion. That was the thing she regretted and broke the two of them up. I know how much Ann wanted kids, but I never thought she'd use me to get them. I feel like a fucking sperm donor not the husband I thought I was."

"Steve, I think you're wrong. I think I know Ann well enough to know she wouldn't marry you just to have kids. Hell, Ronnie's been back for years and if she hasn't jumped his bones in all this time, what makes you think she will now?"

"She got what she wanted from me, Carla and Andy. I think she couldn't care less about me anymore. I'm the good husband and provider," I told the two of them. I pay the bills, I take care of the kids when she's tired, I keep the house in repair and in turn, she throws me a bone once in a while; all the time lusting over Ronnie." The two of them wouldn't agree or disagree at this point.

"Steve, you need to sit down with her and talk through this. Remember you only heard one side of the conversation. Maybe she was just telling Ronnie what she wanted him to hear, you know to get him off her back for a while."

"Or maybe she feels bad about marrying me under false pretenses," I added.

"Regardless, this is the conversation you should be having with her, not us. We both love you and Ann also at this point, but you need to find out the truth no matter how much it may hurt; I know I'd want to know."

After two beers and two pieces of pizza I told them goodnight and headed for home. I didn't have a clue how I was going to start this conversation with Ann, but I had to find a way that wouldn't set her off.

When I walked in, she was on the phone with someone and just motioned me hi. I went upstairs and changed preparing myself for a long night. It was just after eight and the kids had just been laid down for the night. I went in their room, kissed them goodnight and went looking for Ann. I found her in the kitchen loading the dishwasher.

"You get something to eat? If not, we've got leftovers from dinner," she said wiping her hands on a dishrag.

"Ann, we need to talk," is how I started the conversation.

"Sure Steve, let's go in the living room where we can be comfortable."

Ann sat on the couch and I chose the chair across from her. I threw her the baby monitor to her. She looked at it and then set it down on her lap."

"What's this?"

"What do you think it is Ann?"

"Steve, it's one of our old baby monitors."

"That's right Ann. And it's been in your room for the last week while you've been sick. I wanted to make sure you were sleeping ok and still breathing."

"Well Steve, will wonders never cease. How thoughtful of you to do that for me." Ann said smiling.

"You know what else it picks up, telephone conversations. It's sensitive enough to hear people talking on cell phones Ann," I said leaning forward. "Even when they're trying to be very quiet and whispering."

That statement brought more than a look of surprise to Ann's face.

"Even after all these years it seems as though the Ann and Ronnie drama is still playing itself out,' I started. "But what do I know, I'm just the stupid husband who got duped by the two of you," I said now with my anger showing.

"Steve, it's not what you think," is all I let her get out of her mouth.

"Ann, just what am I thinking about? How you've had the hots for Ronnie all these years. That he knocked you up and you had an abortion so he wouldn't leave you. And when he told you he never wanted kids, you went looking for a patsy, a sucker, a sperm donor so you could get what Ronnie wouldn't give you. Why did you pick on me Ann? Was I that naïve and stupid that you could just bat your big brown eyes and make me do everything you wanted? Yeah, I guess I was that stupid. I must have been because I bought your whole story hook line and sinker. You really are good you know that, you should think about a stage career."

"Steve, I do love you."

"Like you would a fucking pet. But I guess if you neutered me, you wouldn't have gotten what you wanted from me. Well I hope I lived up to your expectations and you didn't get too sick having sex with me. But don't worry; I won't be bothering you for that any longer. Now that Ronnie is around you can get all the hot sex you want," I said now losing it.

Ann was crying and kept saying no, no, no but I was more than done.

"Fuck you, fuck Ronnie and all of your friends. The only thing I will guarantee you is that I will not go quietly. They're my kids to and I'm going to fight you tooth and nail for them. You and I are done, but I won't let you make my two kids pawns in your fucking game. You make me sick, what the hell did I ever see in you anyway," I finally said walking out of the living room leaving a sobbing Ann.

I went upstairs and was going to pack a bag but told myself this was my house to.

"If she wants to leave so be, but I'm not going anywhere," I told myself as I shut and locked the bedroom door. About an hour later I heard a knock on my door but ignored it by putting another pillow over my ears.

For the second morning in a row, I was out of the house before anyone stirred. About nine thirty I got out the phone book and started looking through the yellow pages for a divorce attorney. I didn't have a whole hell of a lot of money and knew I'd probably get screwed and tattooed, but I at least needed to try. I found one that wasn't too expensive and he agreed to see me at three o'clock that afternoon, as long as I brought a check for the five hundred dollar retainer. They really are bastards.

"Well Mr. Moore, what can I do for you this afternoon?"

For the next hour and a half I told him everything I knew and had heard. He made a few notes and after I'd spilled my guts he took over.

"Steve, you have no tangible proof of anything you just told me. Had you recorded her conversation we could have tried to make a case that she duped you into marrying her for the sole purpose of giving her children. However, she can claim that the conversation never took place and you have nothing to dispute that. It would be your word against hers. We can get the medical records of her abortion but that proves nothing other than it happened. I don't want to say you don't have a case, but in seventy-five percent of these cases, the wife gets custody of the minor children, the house and the husband gets stuck paying for everything while she shacks up with her lover. It may not be fair, but that's what usually happens," he told me.

"Prepare the papers anyway, at least if I fight and lose, I'll know I gave it my best shot," I told him as I walked out. I was fucked and I knew it.

I stopped off at Tony's after leaving the lawyers office. I needed some liquid bravery before going back to what used to be my happy home. Two Corona's, a burger and I was on my way.

I sat in my car on the driveway for the better part of twenty minutes before going in. Ann was sitting at the kitchen table with the kids as I went over and kissed each of them before heading upstairs. I changed and was making a few notes of things I had to do in the next few days when Ann walked in.

"Steve, we need to talk. You're wrong about what you said last night," she started to say.

"Ann, just answer me one question, do you still have feelings for Ronnie?"

"Yes, I still have feelings for him but I don't know what or how much. Steve, he was my first love, we were supposed to get married. We went through a lot together but I married you not him."

"I've all ready heard your song and dance about that. He didn't want kids and you did. What, am I suppose to be thankful that you chose me to give you children? What made me such good breeding stock anyway? But it really doesn't matter anymore, you got what you wanted and I guess I did get fucked in the process." I wanted to slap her, shake her and take my kids and run. Thankfully I did none of those things and didn't lose total control.

"So I wasn't head over heels in love with you when we first got married. I loved you for who you were and the way you loved me. Steve, that never changed over the years. I do love you Steven Moore. I love you, our children and our life together. I just can't help the fact that I also have feeling for Ronnie. I'm sorry is all I can say."

"Ann, I'm just sorry I ever married you. Now if you don't mine, I'd just like you to leave me alone." With that Ann walked out crying. I almost felt sorry for her and probably would have if I could get over the hate I felt for her right now but it was still too new and too close to the surface. So, we existed in the same house together but apart.

It didn't take too long for it to get back to both her and my family. My dad wanted to know what was going on, and why in the hell I was going ahead with paperwork instead of trying marriage counseling.

"Dad, if she doesn't love me, what's the point?"

Her parents however took the proactive approach and got her a lawyer, figures. Within two weeks my paperwork was done and I picked it up Thursday night on my way home from work. He went over the details of it and asked if Ann had gotten a lawyer yet?

"I guess she has, I don't know who it is, but probably will before the nights out."

I skipped the bar tonight. I wanted to make sure I had my wits about me in case it got ugly. I walked through the door and saw not only Ann, but also her parents, and they didn't look happy.

"Evening Connie, Dave, what brings you around?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Steve, if you have Ann served, we'll have no choice but to counter. I need to look out for my daughter and her children and will do what's necessary to protect them," he said in a calm tone. "I know Ann doesn't want this but she says you won't talk to her anymore. How can you solve your problems without talking to one another?"

"Dave, did you know Ann got pregnant by Ronnie? That she still loves him? And you think this is acceptable behavior for a wife? What would you do if Connie came home one night and told you she loved someone else? Would you accept it? Maybe you can, but I can't. I didn't fuckup this marriage, your daughter did." With that I handed Ann the papers. "Go over it with whomever you want. I don't want to be a hard ass about this, but don't even think I'll be pushed around by you or anyone else." I shook my head and went up to my room.

There was a lot of crying and shouting downstairs for the next couple of hours. I heard the front door slam hard once, open and close again then silence for the rest of the night.

I'd asked for joint custody, my lawyer's suggestion, and listed the cause as irreconcilable differences. I proposed that we split our time in the house, with the children, to every two weeks and I would pay for the house and all the other expenses. However, I flatly refused to pay any spousal support; I didn't think she deserved any at this point. I put in there that if she refused, I would go for full custody, name Ronnie and claim adultery as the reason for the divorce.

All right, they called my bluff, so I went forward with my threat. I knew upfront that I was going to lose but I decided to go for broke anyway. I changed the locks on the house and had a court order issued immediately against Ann and Ronnie. It stated that Ann could visit her children at the house only and that Ronnie was to stay five hundred feet away from the house and me. I told the court that I believed that Ann was going to try and keep my children from me and that I felt threatened by her lover Ronnie. I took a week of vacation and spent all that time bonding with my kids and splitting our lives in two.

Ann's father was pissed but she was livid. Our life was now all out there for the world to see when I filed my two motions with the court.

"Steve, how could you do that to me, to us? I've never committed adultery with Ronnie or anyone else," Ann said over the phone after hearing from her attorney what I'd done.

"Ann loving someone other than your husband is cheating in my book. Too bad you couldn't let him go."

"Steve, please stop this. I told you I loved you what more do you want from me?"

"Ann, if you have to ask, you still don't get it. You were the one that forced my hand. I proposed a fifty-fifty split but you wanted it all. So we will both go down, guns blazing until there's nothing left of what we once had; I hope you're satisfied." She hung up on me.

Our lawyers went back and forth a dozen times and it was costing me a fortune. I cashed in my 401K and depleted my savings. Ann didn't have squat so her parents ended up footing the bill. We got nowhere and the lawyers were getting rich off us. I stopped paying the house payment and got ugly notices from the bank telling me to either catch up the two late months or they'd put us into foreclosure. I didn't care any longer; it was just four walls and a place to hang my hat.

When our case came before the judge, for a second time, he just shook his head.

"Two months ago I sent both parties back to try and work out their differences and today you're further apart then you were back then. Have either of you two spoken face to face since then?" he said looking at both of us. "I thought not. Ann, has Steve withheld visitation from you at any time?"

"No, Your Honor." She replied.

"Ann, have you seen, talked to or had any contact with a Mr. Ronald Kirkham, since these proceedings started?"

"No, Your Honor," she said again.

"Ann, do you plan on seeing, dating or having any contact with said party? And remember you're under oath.

"No your honor."

"Do you love your husband Steven Moore?"

Ann looked over at me and answered yes.

"Well, what in the heck are we doing here? You two have wasted five months of the court's time and countless dollars and for what? Here is how we are going to proceed. All legal proceedings are officially halted as of this moment. That means no more legal representation going forward. Ann, you will move back into your residence, with your children who need their mother. How the two of you co-habitat is none of my concern at this point. However, you are being mandated to court ordered counseling for the next six months. The court will require monthly updates and if either party does not comply they will be held in contempt and brought before my bench. And I can guarantee neither of you will like what I will do at that point. If after six months you still want to divorce than the court will grant a fifty-fifty split according to the laws of this state. Do you both understand my ruling?"

I look over at Ann and she me as we both said that we understood.

"There have been mistakes made on both sides and with no communication between the two of you, the people who have suffered the most are your two children. They deserve loving and caring parents not what the two of you have become. As I said, I will see you in six months and will rule on the case at that time."

"Shit, I never saw that coming," I told myself expecting the judge to rule in my favor today.

"The court will give you a list of probably three counselors to pick from. You two will have to agree on one within the next week and set up appointments. Do not and I mean it, do not piss off this judge. He will throw your ass in jail if you cross him after he's ruled. Do what he's ordered and call me in six months and tell me how you want to proceed. By the way, you'll get my final bill next week," my attorney said closing up his briefcase. As I said, lawyers really are bastards.

Slirpuff
Slirpuff
4,279 Followers