What Will They Think of Next?

"Don't be silly," she said, "I'm not having my reputation as a hostess ruined by you bumping-off the guests. Anyway there's the long jail sentence to be considered, not to mention all the tedious media attention it's bound to attract."

"Alright," I reluctantly abandoned my brilliant, if homicidal scheme.

"At least it was worth a try." It was back to plan A.

"Now listen," I said, "I'm not going to be able to contain this much longer. So far Steve's had the thing on low power and he's bound to turn it up during the main course. As you saw the other night, I can't take that for long. I'm going start a somewhat out of character conversation when we get back in there. You must join in and support me, OK?"

The tone of my voice clearly brooked no objection because Roz nodded, even though her expression betrayed her puzzlement.

"Where you lead, Roz your faithful friend will dutifully follow." She said and gave small curtsey.

I would not have said it was possible to curtsey in a sarcastic manner, but I was wrong. I tried to kick her but missed, and we fell into each other's arms, helpless with laughter.

Resigned to my fate, it was a matter of a few minutes to take the beautifully golden brown quails from the oven and pop them onto the pristine white plates. I drizzled a little of the unctuous sauce over them while Roz worked her magic with the vegetables. The food looked and smelled absolutely wonderful, and a good thing too.

The sound of "Aaaah!" As I entered the living room came from the assembled company as though from one voice and easily drowned out the passionate moan which I could not suppress as the Senseo pulsed into life the moment I stepped through the door.

Roz, following, ordered Dave to help her fetch the remaining plates, effectively cutting off my retreat to the sanctuary of the kitchen.

Steve watched me carefully as I placed the plates on the table. His hand was in his pocket and the Senseo fired briefly into over-drive. The relief on his face at my squeak of surprise was plain to see.

I wondered for a moment whether he thought I'd gone into the kitchen to take the Senseo out but he knew me better than that. It was far more likely that he was just glad that the thing was obviously still working.

I pointedly ignored him, settling back into my seat at the table and turning the full force of my electronically induced hyper-libido on the thoroughly bemused Mark.

Within minutes, the persistent throbbing of the Senseo had the hormones coursing through my bloodstream once again. I felt the familiar tautness in my breasts as my nipples engorged. I hardly dared move my shoulders, even the slightest touch of the fabric of my dress against the super-sensitised peaks was almost too much to bear. I was desperate for release. My time had finally come.

With everyone at the table and beginning to tuck in to the delicious food I put my plan into action.

"Mmmm, this is delicious Roz, you'll have to give me the secret of this sauce." I joined in the generally appreciative chatter as the main course got under way.

Waiting for my chance to introduce the conversational gambit that I hoped would be my life-line. Taking advantage of the pause in the flow as people got to grips with their food I launched my opening salvo.

"Did anyone see that news article last week about the research that says most women are only noisy in bed to please their men?"

It had the desired effect. Most of my fellow guests had either read or heard a report of the research and a lively debate began.

I had only to let the conversation flow for a few minutes before intervening to direct the discussion down the avenue I wanted it to travel.

In the meantime Steve began to turn up the power on the Senseo, just as I thought he would. I breathed an inward sigh of relief, he was so predictable. He had kept me on simmer during the first course but now he was going to bring me to the boil, slowly turning up the heat on the Senseo so that he could savour every last minute of the build-up and my eventual climax.

We both knew that the orgasm, when it came, was going to be a biggie. The long slow build up would see to that. I was like a volcano, I could feel the pressure inexorably building and it was not a question of whether, only of when I would erupt.

Timing was everything now. I squirmed in my seat, trying to suppress the urge to scream as the insistent pulsations from the Senseo sent waves of sensation through my lower body.

"What intrigues me, " said Dave, "is how they collected the data for the research?"

I seized my chance, "I expect they asked people, " I interjected, "Let's see how we fare.

Come on girls, whose passion has the neighbours reaching for the earplugs?" I looked pointedly at Roz as I said this and she took the hint, breaking the moment of embarrassed silence that was the immediate consequence of my forthright question.

"Oh! Mine definitely," she said. Dave looked rather shocked at the casual way in which his wife offered to reveal their bedroom secrets.

"And I can tell you now, it has nothing to do with pleasing Dave. It's definitely all about Me!"

Perhaps the laughter round the table dispelled embarrassment because the series of admissions that followed gave an insight into aspects of my friend's lives that I found truly surprising.

The wine probably helped and most people seemed quite willing to share their intimate secrets with the group. And it was the girls that did the talking.

Mark, still sitting at my right hand side, was a little tight lipped when his partner, Ann, began to talk about what it was they did that caused the most noise but he appeared in any case to be mesmerised by my attempts to suppress my arousal.

My wriggling and squeaking were more obvious to him than anyone else and the glimpses of my breasts that he must have been getting as I strove to contain myself were clearly affecting his ability to concentrate on the conversation.

"Your turn now Lou," Roz said. "All our bedroom secrets are now fully in the public domain, let's hear yours."

Not a moment too soon, I thought, and seized my opportunity.

"God, yes. I'm a serious contender in the loudest-climax-on the-planet competition. Our neighbours should get a government grant to install triple-glazing."

Everyone looked at Steve.

He nodded saying, "She's right," and turned the Senseo up to full power.

It was all too much. I was gone, curling my toes into the shag pile and rocking my pelvis forward so that the Senseo's throbbing tip pressed tight up against my clit. It was as though a volcano had erupted deep inside of me sending rivers of fire radiating through my body.

"Oh my God!" I almost screamed, "OH MY GOD!"

I had contained myself, against all the odds, for more than two hours. It was too long, I was almost mad with it and now my body cried out for release.

I no longer cared what anyone thought. I spread my legs under the table, opening myself fully to the insistent beat of the merciless device.

Mark almost fell off his chair.

The first great clenching spasm of my climax gripped me.

"None of you are noisy, " I managed to blurt out.

"This is noisy...AAAAAArgh!"

It was loud. Even I thought it was loud and I'm used to it. I shuddered from head to toe with the sheer, soul-churning pleasure of it, the warm wave flooding through my whole body. I felt myself flushing, the heat radiating through my skin. I arched my back against the chair, stretching the material of my dress tight over my nipples -- the delicious feeling of the cool fabric against my hypersensitive breasts triggering the next and even deeper, orgasmic contraction.

"This is how...OHHH, MMM...noisy...I...AM!"

I managed to get something more or less coherent out. I had to keep talking, even though what I really needed was to abandon myself utterly to the paroxysms of pleasure that engulfed me.

"I see what you mean."

"Yes, that IS rather noisy."

My friends seemed to be enjoying the show. But, apart from Steve who looked slightly shocked and Roz who I feared would explode with suppressed mirth, they appeared not to have grasped the true nature of the performance.

"AAAAGH!" another great convulsion wracked my poor body, so intense it was almost painful.

"Triple...OHH...glaz...MMM...ing!" I managed to gasp. They laughed.

"Do you wear ear plugs Steve?"

"Doesn't need them, she'll cover his ears with her thighs," Roz was razor sharp as always.

The jokes started and with a rush of elation I knew I had got away with it. They thought I was pretending.

Another fountain of pleasure, welling up, deep inside of me, "OHHHH.... YES.....YES!"

The pinnacle of my climax and this time I gave it full voice, looking them straight in the eye, playing to the crowd.

They fell about. The timing was perfect I began to enjoy myself, rocking lightly back and forward, brushing my nipples against the satin of my dress, triggering another ecstatic cry, a wave of laugher from the others and Mark, treated to a more sustained view of my breasts.

With interest I noticed his hands. They were firmly crossed in his lap. I might have discovered my exhibitionist-within, but it looked as though he preferred to keep his feelings firmly under wraps. My orgasm was by then subsiding, I was still getting small frissons of pleasure which caused me to release relatively minor squeaks but they were easily disguised in the general hilarity. I caught Steve's eye and gave him the look that said, "enough."

He honoured our agreement and immediately slowed the Senseo down and then, finally, the demon machine became still.

I sighed with both relief and satiation. The conversation moved on to other topics as I pulled myself together, mentally and physically, adjusting my dress to be as decent as its scant material allowed.

I reflected on my feelings, temporarily disengaged from the company. Did I know this wanton exhibitionist who had inhabited my body for the previous few minutes? She was a new and rather surprising discovery that could be explored in the future but right now I needed to test a theory.

Mark's hands were still crossed in his lap and he was obviously in some discomfort. I did not put this down to guilt over his flagrant voyeurism although I wondered whether Ann might have something to say when they were alone.

I motioned to Roz, "If the men clear the table and bring things through to the kitchen you and I can stack the dishwasher and prepare the desert." I stood up expectantly.

"Good idea," Roz got up from the table, looking puzzled, but by then she had become used to playing my game, even when she didn't understand the rules.

It was Dave who was the first to intervene. "Just give us a minute to digest the main course please girls. It was so wonderful, I'd like to let it settle first."

Murmurs of assent came from the other men. A quick glance around the table added weight to my hypothesis. Not one pair of male hands was visible and was there was a great deal of embarrassed shuffling going on. Men are so transparent.

I said, "We'll start the desert anyway, bring the plates as soon as you're ready, come on Roz," and before she had time to object, grabbed her by the hand and more or less pulled her through the kitchen door.

"My God Lou, you were wonderful. That was AMAZING," Roz enthused as soon as we were out of earshot.

"Wait a minute, " I turned my back on her, hitched up my dress, and pulling aside my soaked panties, eased the now motionless device out of my pussy. Roz passed me a piece of kitchen towel in which I wrapped the Senseo before hiding it away in my bag.

"Do you think I got away with it then?" I asked. "I'm sure you did," she laughed, "you're a genius, I would never have thought of a scheme like that, not in a million years."

"How come the men are not helping clear up?" I was a picture of innocence.

"Well I can tell you why Dave isn't," she said with a smile, "he's sitting on the biggest erection he's had since the night we first had sex, and he daren't stand up".

"Ah, yes, well, I can't vouch for the size of Mark's manhood but I can tell you that he is also sitting down to avoid an embarrassing revelation in the trouser department.

And if I know Steve, he too is feeling indebted to Dave for giving him time to 'cool down', if I may put it that way."

"After that performance Lou, I'd be surprised if any of them make an appearance in the next quarter of an hour. We might as well just have a glass of something to help recover from your performance."

Roz grinned, reaching for a fresh bottle of wine from the fridge.

"I'm sure you're right, " I could hardly keep the smugness from my voice. "You know what this means though, don't you?" I said.

Roz looked puzzled, "Er, no," she replied.

"It means that I am the undisputed, all-comers, black-belt, Stiffy Champion of the World."

I thought Roz was going to choke she laughed so hard. It was almost five minutes before she could speak, and even then, through her tears, all she could say was. "You are...my God, so you are."

***