What Would You Do Now?

Jenny was crying again, but said that I should stay at the house, she would move into the guest room, at least for now. "If you leave and file for a separation or divorce, you won't be covered by my insurance anymore. I love you too much to just let you leave and get sicker without the health care you need. Please stay here , at least for a few weeks."

I thought why should I suffer because of a cheating wife. I had done nothing wrong. So I decided to stay. Things got back to as normal, well as close as they could. We were polite to each other but had very little interaction other than a few necessary conversations. Jenny moved into the guest room and only came into "my room" to put away laundry and other routine things. We pretty much stayed out of each others way as much as we could. I did start to drink some. Not some, way too much. There were few nights that I was not even close to sober and most mornings I started off with a drink. This went on for about a month, then Jenny asked me to sit and talk with her one night.

"You must stop this heavy drinking." Jenny stated. "It is very bad for you. What are you trying to do, kill yourself?"

"Not really, but why should you care if I do? The insurance would pay for the funeral" I replied. " Then you could play with Henry or any other sex helpers without me around to ruin your fun." I wanted to hurt Jenny just a little for her infidelity.

For the first time since confronting Jenny, I saw real anger cross her face. "You asshole" Jenny screamed at me. " I love you, care about you, and worry about you more than anyone in you life. Ever. If I didn't, I would not have subjected myself to this living hell we are in right now. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why aren't you taking better care of yourself? Please talk to me and explain."

"Okay, you ask for it. The one person in the world that I really trusted, the one person that I loved more than myself, the one person who so much a part of me, just fucked me over big time. I just supposed to accept it and our living arrangement and it not affect me. I CAN'T STAND IT. I am going crazy. Do I stay here because the alternative is I may get sicker and die. Do I do what any man with any pride would do and leave. There are two reasons I am still here or that I haven't kicked you out. One: I'm more afraid of becoming sicker and dieing than I am of being a wimp. Two: and this is the most important one, I can't picture my life without you. In spite of what has happened, I still love you and am hoping I can get passed what has happened. That is why I am drinking. It helps numb my brain so I don't see what was going on in that private room. Now no more talk. Leave me alone." I went into "my room" and slammed the door.

Things would have remained the same and I probably would have drank myself into the hospital. I couldn't get my mind around what had happened to my great life, and now it was gone. I guess I would have stayed with the way we were living and not done anything. However, fate, the gods, or the devil decided I hadn't been fucked with enough, so they took a part in my little drama. Every week I had played the Power Ball lottery, just five dollars. Never won anything at all. Then one weekend I checked the numbers and I won, not just a little prize but the whole shooting match. Four other tickets were sold with the same numbers which meant the winners would share the big prize. My share was 12 million dollars. Holy shit, 12 million dollars. I could take the cash, would have been about 6 million or a yearly check for about two hundred and fifty thousand a year for 20 years. I put the ticket in my grandson's name. I got my son to manage the money for me. That way it would not be part of a divorce settlement if I decided to go that way. My son wasn't happy with fooling "Mama" but he knew the situation and agreed to my wishes.

This money means I don't have to depend on Jenny's insurance or salary anymore. If I want to leave I can and not worry financially about anything. So, now that I don't have to stay, do I stay? Do I salvage my pride and leave? I still don't know what to do.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?