Whatever

"Whatever."

"I'm fine now, Carla. Accuse me of doing whatever you want to. This is going to be a quick and easy divorce unless you want to get dirty. We have no property, you make more money than I do, but I don't want any kind of monetary help from you. All I want is it to be over. By the time you get home, my stuff will be cleared out. You get the Mercedes and I'll keep the Toyota. You can have all the furniture except the few things that my grandparents gave me after they passed."

Matt wasn't finished.

"By the way, Carla. Enjoy using that hot body of yours while you can. Someday, it won't quite as valuable to you. Screw whoever you need to advance your career. It won't matter to me anymore."

"Whatever."

Amy grabbed her coat and walked outside. It was too cold for the light jacket she had brought, but she didn't expect to be stranded at this mountain location either.

Matt sat on the edge of the bed. He wasn't sure what Amy was thinking but she was clearly upset when she walked out.

Matt opened the door. "It's too cold out there Amy. Come on inside. I'm fine...really. I'm probably more relieved than anything else."

"Really? Relieved? You just told your wife that you're filing for a divorce."

"I know. Look, Amy...that was a huge mistake...the wedding, that is. I'm not sure I would have cancelled the wedding if I had known but I can't see how the marriage would have lasted if I had known. I'm not upset with you for mentioning it. In a small way, I'm kind of glad."

"Matt, I know how much your religious beliefs direct your actions. I have a strong faith in a sovereign God but it's not as fanatical as the way you were raised. I don't have religious reasons to be against a divorce, it's just that I'm convinced that if I find the right guy that I won't ever need one."

"I'm coming around to your way of thinking, Amy. Carla was my first and only lover. We had sex lots of times before we were married but my parents honestly believed that our honeymoon was our first time. We also agreed to a family but recently she changed her mind and decided that she never wanted children."

Matt was near tears. "You see Amy, the past four years of my life have been a lie. I'm tired of it. My parents won't be happy about it and I'm sure I'll get some big Biblical lecture about it from them and my pastor. Of course my pastor is Jerry's dad...and I'd have a few choice words for him as well."

Amy had nothing to say. Matt had said his piece. It was nearly 8 o'clock and the sun had given way to pitch black outside. The street lights were few and far between. Matt turned on the TV and found an old comedy on HBO, Ferris Bueller.

That broke the mood of the evening as they reminisced about their favorite parts of the movie. They were laying several feet apart on the bed while engaged in frivolous conversation about the teen movie that was nearly 30 years old.

The room phone rang. It was the front desk.

"Hey, the freeway southbound has been cleared. The northbound should be cleared within a few hours. I just thought you two would like the good news."

"Thanks," said Matt. "You have been so gracious to us. Thanks again for being so great."

"You're welcome. Safe travels!"

They were both sitting on the edge of the bed.

Matt looked at Amy. "Well, we could go home now if you want, or we can get some sleep and go back in the morning."

"Well, I'm not too tired yet," Amy answered. "If you're up to driving home, I'd be much more comfortable in my own bed...you know, sleeping naked and all."

"I understand. What if I told you that I had no problem with you sleeping naked in this room? Or, we could just leave now, it's your call."

"No, Matt. In spite of what Carla said, I'm keeping my clothes on and I expect you to as well. However, I would prefer that you sleep in the same bed. It's big enough for the two of us. Nothing will happen and you'll get a much better night's sleep."

"I'll think about it. I just have some questions about your family's lifestyle."

"Sure, ask whatever you want." Amy was glad that Matt was comfortable enough to pursue the subject further. "I'll be completely open and honest with you."

"I guess my first question is probably the obvious one, but do you get some thrill being exposed to others; especially men?"

Amy searched for the right answer.

"I'll have to answer that question in two different ways, Matt. First, I enjoy the freedom of nudism. I enjoy being nude whether I'm alone or in a group full of nudists."

"The second part of the answer is that there is some enjoyment when a guy sees me and likes what he sees. There may be a part of me that's an exhibitionist but not to the degree that I'm willing to risk being arrested for public indecency."

"The reason I don't get naked for bed tonight has nothing to do with modesty or being self-conscious about my body. I'm staying clothed for your benefit. It's the best thing to do tonight. If you ever decide to come to our house and go swimming or go to the resort, I guarantee you that I'll have no problem with you seeing every square inch of my body."

Matt thought about that. He considered taking her up on the part of swimming at her parent's home but he didn't tell her that.

"So, what has Carla said when you've told her that she's welcome to go to the resort with you?"

"She feigned modesty. She was also invited to our home...with her own brother and sister-in-law...to try skinny dipping but she refused. I can assure you, Matt, that there's not a modest bone in that girl's body. I've known her all my life."

Matt was intrigued. "Why do you say that?"

Again, Amy sensed that she had said too much. Matt was truly confused about Amy denying that Carla was modest at all.

"I promised you honesty, Matt. I hope you can handle it."

Matt shook his head. He was ready for anything at this point.

"First of all, I've had three lovers in my life. Three lovers and only 4 times having sex with those three."

"And?"

"Let me finish, Matt. I guarantee you that Carla had more than that between her junior and senior year of high school. She would flash her tits for money. She bragged to me and a few others about the number of guys she did in high school. She thought she was impressing me."

"Remember, I'm only talking about high school. In college, she went to plenty of parties and there's no doubt that she had at least a few guys there."

"That's strange, Matt added. She told me that she had a boyfriend in high school that she had sex with once but that I was only her second lover ever."

"Ha!" Amy exclaimed before she could stop her own reaction. "Second lover? She had two guys in one night as a high school junior.

"I'm sorry to be so straight forward Matt, but I know my cousin very well. Others in the family know as well, including her own mother because her mother is the same way."

"Mrs. Dunbar? No, you're kidding me."

"Not at all. Cynthia Dunbar. Uncle Frank knows but he puts up with it. He doesn't like it, I know that for sure. They make too much money to divorce. Their marriage is more for convenience. I don't doubt that Uncle Frank probably gets some on the side as well. Who could blame him?"

Matt felt like an outsider for not knowing more about his wife and her family. However, when thinking about his mother-in-law's behavior at times, it made sense. She did seem to flirt with guys a lot; including him. He always thought that she was just friendly with no other motivation.

"Matt, this is why we've never been close to Carla's mom and dad. Mom never trusted Carla alone with Dad. We might be nudists. We might be more liberated than some other people. What we don't do is cheat on our partners. We don't hurt people. We don't betray sacred trusts. What mom and dad do is with the full consent and willfulness of all four of them."

That made some sense to Matt. Plus, Amy had made it clear that she wasn't up to any extra activity that night with him because he was still married; although not happily.

"One more question, Amy?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"You've mentioned 3 lovers in your past. Why hasn't either of them worked out to something better?"

"That's a fair question, Matt. The answer is quite simple, though."

"I have focused my attention the past four years on my degree. I will have it within the next two months. I've had no desire to get serious with anyone but I am still a young woman that enjoys the carnal pleasures that others my age enjoy."

"My first time was at the resort. I was 19. The man was 30 and recently divorced. We got along well and while sitting in his tent trailer we began talking about our bodies and then touching each other. It's not unusual for nudists to discuss what most people consider sensitive subjects."

"I told him that I was a virgin although I had borrowed a friend's toy once and inserted it. I remember it being uncomfortable but I didn't want my first real sexual experience to be where the guy hurt me. I let him have me that night. We did the same thing about a month later. He's a nice guy but he travels too much and now he's living in Atlanta. He attends a swinger's resort north of there. I have no desire to participate in that."

"The second time was the strangest. I was at a party in college during my sophomore year. Girls were doing shots and then flashing their boobs. I've never been much of a drinker so I'd take real small shots and then expose my boobs...not because I was drunk but because I wasn't ashamed of my boobs."

"I'm sure you've noticed that mine aren't that big but I didn't care. I'm not ashamed of them so it was no big deal to flash them. Suddenly I got brave and just removed my shirt completely. The other girls saw that as a challenge and did the same. Next, we were flashing our asses then our crotches."

"I was very unique in that I was the only redhead in the group...and...well...to put it nicely...I was the only one that didn't shave my pussy or have a real tight trim. Some of the girls ridiculed it...and some of the guys too...but a couple of the guys started pulling their dicks out their pants and jerking off."

"One guy, Cal, took off his clothes completely and asked me to do a lap dance for him. Since I'm not much of a drinker, it didn't take long for me to get a good buzz and I took him up on it. I wasn't too drunk because I knew exactly what would happen and I had the ability to say no. Well, by the time I was done, I had his cock inside of me and he pulled me off so that he could come on my belly instead of inside of me."

"The fact is, that wasn't necessary since I've been on the pill since I was 17. Mom knew that I was growing up and that sex would be a part of my life eventually. That night was the only time...and will be the only time...where I have sex with an audience. I don't regret the sex itself since I was a willing participant...but...let's just say that no guy had better ask for it in public again."

"Guy number 3 was at the resort a few weeks ago. I was horny, he was horny. He had a cabin he had rented. His wife was there and gave her blessing. She left the room while we did it. They weren't swingers as much as they had an open relationship. It was fun but I won't have him again. Even with his wife's blessing, it seemed too strange."

"So Matt, I'm not pretending to be some little angel. I have a very normal sex drive but I do respect people. I would have never done that guy at the resort if he had tried to sneak behind his wife's back and I'm sure as hell not going to let you have me behind Carla's back...I don't care what she accuses me of doing to you."

Matt sat in silence as he listened to her tell of all of her experiences.

"One other thing, Matt. If you go through with this divorce from Carla, I do hope that you call me. You are the kind of guy I'd like to date. I'll even go one step further, I'm looking forward to the day that I can get naked in front of you...and I hope you join me at that time by getting naked yourself."

Matt smiled. He was more determined to take her up on her offer for a skinny dip with her and her parents...even if it meant he had to get naked as well.

The problem Matt had was he was getting excited listening to Amy talking in detail about her sexual experiences. He was also intrigued by the fact that she admitted that she didn't shave her pussy. Matt always found pussy hair, at least a little bit, to be sexy. Carla didn't care what he liked, she always kept her completely bare. She wouldn't even compromise and grow a thin landing strip.

But why was she being so candid about her sexual experiences? Was she trying to get him excited so that he'd make a move on her? He was trying to ponder the different reasons why she was so willing to share such intimate details about herself.

"Matt, let's share the bed. I promise nothing will happen. I don't want to go to Fresno now and I'm sure you don't. Just take me home in the morning and I'll wait for Mom and Dad to get back from Fresno. I can fill them in on the rest."

"Thanks, Amy. You're making this easier on me tonight."

"How's that, Matt?"

"Well, I've always liked you since I first met you and you were a senior in high school. You seemed so goal-oriented and so sure of what you wanted to do with your life. You also seem so sure of what you want after college...that is, the kind of guy you'd like to marry. I hope you consider a guy like me in the future when I'm available."

"Matt, the answer is yes. Of course. I've always felt that way. I thought I made that clear just a few minutes ago."

"The reason I told you so much tonight is that I don't want you to find out about it in the future from someone else...like you did tonight about Carla. I am who I am, Matt, and if you can handle that then we might eventually make a good couple. If what I told you scared you off, then I'd have to accept that...but at least I was honest and up front, not deceitful. You're a great guy and deserve one hell of a lot better than you've gotten."

"Thank you Amy. For the record, I don't think any less of you now. I have gained respect for you. I think staying on your side of the bed is just as difficult for you as it is for me. I know we'll be happy that we didn't go any further tonight."

Amy was silent for a few seconds. Matt had realized how difficult it was for her to not just get undressed and have them both let all of their pent-up tensions free. She wanted him sexually as much as he wanted her.

"Thank you Matt. I'll shut off the lights so we can get some sleep. Goodnight, my dear friend."

"Goodnight Amy. Thank you for being a real friend."

Again, silence enveloped the pitch dark room. Both were lying on their sides facing away from the other.

"Matt?" Amy asked, breaking the silence, "even not knowing things about Carla that you now know, I still don't understand why you would want to marry her. Was it only about sex?"

Matt laughed nervously. "You've heard the saying that love is blind?"

"Yes."

"Well, in my case it was lust, not love, and it wasn't only blind, it was hard of hearing. It was just plain stupid. I don't think I've ever really loved her. I've honored my marriage vows to her but it's been out of duty, not out of love."

Amy understood. She understood lust but had never experienced love. Matt was making her think that maybe she loved him.

"Do you think you know what love is, Matt?"

Matt thought about that question for a few seconds.

"I'm not exactly sure what it is Amy, but I do know what it isn't. I can assure you that a good time in the bedroom isn't going to be enough to convince me that it's love."

Again, several seconds of silence ensued. Finally, Matt said something even more startling.

"You know what? I'm not sure I'd even miss Carla if she suddenly just left the earth and went to live on Mars. I'm not in love with her and we're certainly not friends. It's like I've been sleeping with a mortal enemy."

"I don't wish anything bad to happen, I just want her completely out of my life and never to be seen again."

"You might not get that Matt," Amy replied. "If the two of us were to make it, she'd still be family. I hope I didn't scare you off."

Again, Matt let out a nervous laugh.

"Her? Scare me away from you? I'll just carry a big can of bug repellant when she's around...or maybe a rat trap."

That brought out the biggest laugh of the night for Amy. It also seemed to soothe the tensions for both of them since they were both sound asleep soon afterward and the 7:00 AM alarm was going off before they knew it.

Amy tapped Matt on the shoulder.

"Ready for the big wedding, Matt?"

Matt hadn't fully awakened yet and thought she was serious.

"Hell, no. I'll drive you up there but I'm not going."

"Just kidding, baby. Just kidding. Boy, you have no sense of humor when you're not wide awake."

Matt realized then that she had been screwing with him.

"Matt, there's no way in hell that I want to be there today. I'm going to get a quick shower to freshen up and then I'll be ready to go."

"Good idea, Amy. When you get done, I'll take one as well."

By 8:00 they were at the diner across the street and eating breakfast. By 9:00, they had checked out and were headed home.

By 11:00 Matt had dropped Amy off at her home and had rented a truck to haul away his personal belongings. He talked to one of his single male colleagues at the college and arranged for a place to stay for a few days until he could get a reasonably priced apartment in a decent neighborhood.

He got to the bank before it closed at 1:00 and took Carla's name off of his personal checking and savings accounts. He knew that she would be doing the same when she got home. He could have accessed several thousands of dollars from her account, but he wanted nothing of hers. His colleague, James Shale, the one with a room for him, had a storage shed in his back yard that he allowed Matt to use until he found a place.

Things were in place for a change in his life, but nothing prepared him for the news he received later that evening.

Sometime around 5:00 that afternoon, Carla and her parents were driving southbound on I-5 about 20 miles south of Bakersfield.

There was a large accident that caused a chain reaction of nearly 20 vehicles. Unfortunately, Carla and her parents, traveling in Carla's Mercedes, got sandwiched between two large semis. All three of them were killed immediately.

The minute that the Highway Patrol contacted Matt, he immediately rushed to Amy's home. Her parents had been home for over two hours already. They left early during the reception since they didn't seem to fit in with any of that crowd. They just quietly snuck out the door and headed home.

Thankfully, Amy's parents were a great help to Matt. Mrs. Carol Hester was the comforting voice for Matt. His parents were also there for assistance, but it was Amy's mother that put everything into perspective for him.

He had a multitude of emotions to fight through. Sorrow, even though he didn't really like her or love her. Guilt, for making the statement to Amy about never wanting to see his wife again. Even relief, because she was gone...and that led back to the guilt for feeling relief. It was a vicious cycle.

He took responsibility and gave Carla a dignified funeral and burial. Nobody had to know the level of contempt that the two had for each other. This wasn't the time to open those wounds. Amy and her parents were the only ones to know. Again, it was Carol Hester that steered Matt into doing the right thing.

After a week of mourning and taking care of personal business related to her death, Matt moved back into their house. Due to the nature of the accident, Matt knew that a large settlement would be coming to both him and Carla's brother. Also, both Carla and Matt had large life insurance policies. That alone assured that Matt would be financially comfortable for quite some time.