When Fantasy Becomes Reality Ch. 02

Thursday's session was not what we expected. He collected both of our lists, briefly looked at them and put them in the manila file on his desk. After both of us looking at one another I spoke up.

"Aren't we going to go over them?" I said still puzzled.

"You two want to get back together?" he asked.

Both of us nodded almost at the same time.

"Well then, two months from now we're going to do the same exercise and compare the results. If they are the same, my work is done, and you two can let the lawyers take care of the rest. That put a solemn note on the rest of the session.

After four months I thought we were making some real progress and I was feeling a lot more comfortable when things took another turn for the worse. I showed up at Thursday's session with a single red rose, Randy's favorite, something like a peace offering but she was a no show.

"Randy called to say something came up and that she couldn't make it today," Dr. Allen told me. "Is that rose for me? How thoughtful," he said trying to diffuse the situation seeing that I was not happy. We went on with the session and talked about how far we'd come and how Randy and I seemed to be making great strides these past three months. Dr. Allen said that he'd see me next week and we said our goodbyes.

Carol seemed a little on edge Thursday and Friday night. Instead of staying for dinner she just put the food on the table and left, which was totally unlike her.

"Anything wrong, Carol?" I asked her before leaving Friday.

"No, nothings wrong, I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."

"Well have a great weekend," I told her kissing her on the cheek. "You and your mom have been a god send helping Randy and I work out our problems. I don't know what I would have done without you two."

Her eyes teared up as she bolted from the door. I watched her get into her car and speed off.

"I guess she doesn't get compliments very often," I thought to myself.

Sunday night I was channel surfing because there really wasn't anything good on. The normal shows were being pre-empted for this special or that, so I just grabbed a beer and decided to watch one of them.

It was a special fundraiser for something and all the beautiful people were turning out. As the cameras panned from one table to another the beer I was swallowing suddenly went down the wrong way and then up through my nose. There at the table was Randy dressed to kill on the arm of dark haired older man.

The caption under the picture said producer Tony Arndt and his date Randy Moore. At least now I know why she skipped this weeks session. She needed to get back to New York so she could see Tony boy.

My eyes were glued to the screen for the next two hours as the camera panned the tables while the audience bid on one thing or another. When my new buddy Tony bid on and won a cruise, the statement he made said it all for me.

"It's for a good cause, and I know just the little lady I'd like to take with me," he said kissing Randy on the cheek.

You know what a forty-eight inch, HD, flat screen television looks like when it comes in contact with a half filled glass beer bottle? Well, let's put it this way, the kids won't be watching cartoons tomorrow morning in the living room.

I got drunk. I got falling down stinking drunk Sunday night. I passed out on the kitchen floor and didn't wake up until Carol shook me Monday morning.

"Steve, you are you all right?" she said helping me to my feet. Glancing at the glass all over the floor in the living room she put her hand to her mouth when she saw the television.

"I didn't like what I saw on the TV last night," was all I said to her. I'll clean up the mess when I get home tonight, just don't let the kids in there," I told her.

"Steve, I'll clean it up don't worry about it," was her reply.

"Carol, I said I'll clean up the fucking mess myself, just leave it alone."

The look on her face said it all. She knew what I'd seen, because she and her parents had been watching the same thing and when Tony made that statement her dad about lost it.

"Jesus Christ, I can only hope no one I know is watching this. Does that daughter of yours have shit for brains or what?"

At work I got out the yellow pages and looked under childcare. I needed a nanny and I needed one fast. Within three hours I had appointments to interview four and figured at least one had work out.

The one I chose was just out of college and was doing her Masters on line. Donna was twenty-three, single, no boyfriend and to me perfect. Donna said that she could start immediately because she really needed the money, so we agreed on Wednesday.

Even though I told her not to, Carol swept up the glass in the living room. The TV was too heavy for her so it was still sitting there when I got home.

"You feeling better?" she asked. "Yes and no," I told her. "Yes, that I can finally start a new chapter in my life and no, because I'd never thought I'd have to. Carol, tell your mom I won't need either of you to watch the kids any longer. I've hired a nanny and she starts Wednesday. I'm taking off tomorrow to do a few things so you needn't come back. I really appreciate what you did for me and I'm going to miss you, and I know the kids will to."

"Steve, Randy wants you to call her tonight as soon as you got home," she told me. "She says to tell you it's not what it looked like."

"With her it never is, is it Carol?"

She told me again before she left to call but I didn't, what was the point. Tuesday I set up a new bank account and transferred fifty percent of our savings into it. I bought new locks for the house and spent the afternoon putting them in. I made a 'things to do' list and took my kids out to dinner, their favorite, pizza. I told them about Donna taking care of them from now on and left it at that.

Donna showed up early Wednesday and I gave her the run down of the house. I gave her a key and told her under no circumstances was she to let anyone, no matter whom, in the house. I gave her my cell and work numbers and told her I'd call her at lunch.

Wednesday was tough for a number of reasons and I was glad to get finally get home. Donna had cooked a pretty good meal and at 6:30 we were doing the dishes when she finally spoke up.

"A woman named Randy called three times and was surprised when I told her who I was. She left you two long voice messages when I told her that I was instructed not to let anyone into the house."

"Thanks Donna, have a nice evening and I'll see you in the morning," I said walking her to her car.

"I killed both messages without even listening to them.

Thursday was another shit day. Everyone wanted everything yesterday and production was lagging behind. I didn't get home until almost 6:30 and the kids were wild when I walked in through the door. He hit me, she keeps turning the channel, and all petty bullshit items but like always they needed to be addressed.

Donna made a hot tuna casserole and both kids said they loved it. I told her to go home and I'd take care of the dishes. I slipped her two twenties and told her to fill up her gas tank.

"Donna, I forgot to include gas in our arrangement. You're going to use over a tank of gas taking the kids to school and picking them up so don't be shy if you need extra money." With a smile she said she appreciated it, gave the kids a hug and headed out.

"Well guys, what do you think of your new nanny?" I asked.

"She's nice, but we miss Aunt Carol. Is she coming back?"

"Not right now but we'll see her and grandma later," I told them. "Ok, who wants dessert?" quickly ended their question and answer session.

With the kids in bed I turned on my phone. I'd made it a point now to turn it off after I left work. I was in no mood to talk to either Randy or her mother, at least not right now. The first was a request from Randy to call her right away and the other was from Dr. Allen asking me if I planned on coming to the session next Thursday. I killed both messages and called it a night. I was now taking a sleep aide instead of alcohol to fall asleep. If I didn't, I'd just lay there with my mind going a hundred miles per hour in a million different directions so drugs were now a part of my life. I was starting to fall apart.

Randy was sitting on the couch looking at her watch when Dr. Allen came in.

"Looks like Steve isn't coming," he told her. "No matter, there are a few things I'd like to discuss with you alone anyway."

"I know why he's not here, and I've tried to call him a couple of times but he's not taking my calls," she replied.

"I know all about it, but we'll get to that later. I want to regress for a minute if you don't mind," he said taking out his file. "When the two of you first started having problems you worked out some type of agreement didn't you?"

"Yes, we sat down and worked out a schedule for both of us to follow."

"Did it work?"

"I thought it did, but I guess Steve didn't think so," she replied. "I don't understand he just seemed to get angrier and more distant as the months went on. I thought it was working pretty well. Everything was getting done and I was making all my deadlines."

"Steve was making dinner and taking care of the kids so you could write?"

"Yes."

"Wasn't there something in there about date nights?"

"I guess we were suppose to get together either Friday of Saturday for some alone time," she replied. "And I guess it didn't happen all the time, but stuff just kept getting in the way, I never skipped them intentionally."

"Ok, then how often did you two get together?"

"I don't know, maybe once a month," Randy said and she could see Dr. Allen frown. "Things went nuts for a while. I got writers block and couldn't think. I guess I should have walked away from it for a while, but I'd made commitments and wanted to show them that I could be relied on."

"Ok, now I've got a little test for you," he said looking at his watch. "I need you to tell me the last sentence of your latest story."

Within fifteen seconds Randy told him verbatim exactly what it was.

"Very good, now without thinking, tell me how old your children are?"

Randy thought for a minute or two before answering.

"Abby is five and a half, no, six and a half and Noah is five."

"Interesting, you can remember from memory exactly what you wrote two weeks ago, but you had to think about how old your children are." Randy was going to say something but stopped.

"You like my flower?" he asked as they both looked at the red rose in the tall crystal vase.

"Looking a little wilted doc, but red roses are my favorite," was her reply. "Whenever Steve did something really dumb or we'd had an argument, he would bring me home a single red rose. He didn't have to say a word. I'd take one look at those puppy dog eyes of his and after the kids were down for the night we'd make up; those were the days," she said touching the rose.

"Randy, that's not my rose, it's yours. Steve brought it last week when you weren't here. He told me he thought the two were working it out and that you'd know what the rose meant. He tossed it on the table before he left so I decided to keep it and hold it for you."

Randy was more than a little shaken as she picked it up and brought it up to her nose to smell it. After a week, the scent had all but faded.

"Let's go back to last week shall we? You skipped the session for what reason?" he asked.

"I was asked to attend a charity fund raiser by a friend of mine. It was formal and I needed to find a dress and get my hair done among other things. Since it was in New York, I needed to fly out Thursday in order to get it all done. I did call your receptionist and say I wasn't going to make last week's session."

"That's right you did," he said not taking his eyes off her. "Did Steve know anything about it?"

"I didn't mention it, because I thought he wouldn't understand. Doc, it was a way of networking with the people who make things happen. In this business, it's sometimes not what you do, but who you know."

"And Tony is a friend?"

"Just a friend Doc. We've been out a couple of times for dinner and such when I'm in New York, that's all."

"So you're dating him, is that right?"

"I'm not dating him, he's just a friend. damn it," she said getting irritated.

"Did you tell Steve about Tony or your dinners with him?"

"He wouldn't have understood that he was just a business friend, someone to have dinner with when I was there by myself."

"So you're not sleeping with him then?" Dr. Allen asked a now pissed off Randy.

"Now you sound just like Steve. No, I'm not sleeping with him. It's just dinner and maybe a good night kiss; that's all," she said in loud voice as she now fidgeted on the sofa.

"So when Tony said on national television that he'd like to take you on the cruise with him and kissed you on the cheek, it was just Tony being Tony and joking around."

"Exactly," was her reply.

"Do you think that everyone watching thought the same thing? Your parents, your friends, not to mention your husband?"

"I've tried to explain it to him, but like I said, he's being stubborn and won't take my calls."

Dr Allen glanced at his watch, put his note pad down on the desk and looked at Randy for a minute before speaking.

"How long has it been? How long have you looked at your life through your rose-colored glasses?"

"Doc, what the heck are you talking about?" a confused Randy replied.

Randy, you see everything that happens around you only in how it affects you. You don't have a clue what's happening at home unless it affects you personally. Did you know your husband over the last few weeks read, for the first time, everything you've written up to this point? He was amazed how good your writing had become. Did you know your daughter wrote a short story and is planning on giving it to you this weekend? She wrote it and your husband corrected it and typed it up for her. She told her class at school she wanted to be a writer just like her mom,"

"That's my girl, a chip off the old block."

"Do you know how she's doing in school? What her grades are?"

"Steve say's she's doing well."

"Steve says? Shouldn't you know without your husband telling you? Hell you had to think about how old your children were when I asked you. It took your husband three seconds to answer that question."

"Well, he's there all the time, that's why he knows exactly what's going on. I wanted to stay at the house but Steve said no. He said if I couldn't be a full time wife he didn't want me there," she said with a sharp tone in her voice.

"So in other words, you were going to show him right? You're going to show him that you could be a big success and make more money than he can. That you've got this wonderful and exciting new life and that a peon like him could never understand why you won't give it up?" he said with a touch of sarcasm. "I notice you aren't wearing your wedding ring. I guess this way you don't have to answer any embarrassing questions about why a married woman is going out on dates but Steve still is wearing his. Randy, everything I see shouts out that you've all ready moved on without Steve and your family. You and your so-called friend humiliated him on national television and now you're wondering why he's mad? Mrs. Moore, I don't think we need to worry about your appointment for next Thursday, because I think you finally pushed Steve over the edge," I told her as she started to cry. "Remember when I told you a couple of months ago, that if you two couldn't come up with ten good reasons to stay together after four months that you'd end up in court? Well, I hate to say it, I think that's exactly where you're going to end up, and I think sooner rather than later."

It took ten minutes for Randy to stop crying enough to where Dr Allen could talk to her. He suggested that she keep next weeks appointment if for no other reason than to help her get her head around what was most likely to happen.

She went back to her apartment and took a hard look around. Books, two computers, a printer, three manuscripts that she'd just started and that was about it besides all her clothes. No pictures, no personal items, nothing that would give any hint to the fact that she was married and had two children.

After dinner, at her parent's house, Randy was telling them her tale of woe. Her mom was sympathetic but Carol and her dad were not.

"You got what you wanted sweetheart, you're a big success; but it also came at a high price. Steve kept telling you how unhappy he was but you were on a mission and wouldn't be deterred. He begged and pleaded but I guess he wasn't as important to you as your fame and notoriety. No court in the country is going to give you custody of the kids," her father told her. "You've been so far out of their life for the last year and a half, they're going to give Steve full custody. Your only hope is that Steve isn't so mad that he uses the kids against you. I don't think he'd do that, but after Sunday I wouldn't be so sure."

"Dad, I don't want a damn divorce. I haven't done anything," Randy screamed.

"That's the problem baby girl, you haven't."

For the tenth time in four days, Randy left a message on my work and personal cell phone, along with my work e-mail. "Don't do anything crazy until we have a chance to talk," was her only message but like all the others I erased them after listening to them.

By Wednesday I had contacted an attorney and was getting all my information together, 401K, pay stubs and what I wanted out of the divorce. The stress and pressure was starting to take its toll on me as I was using more and more drugs just to get a few winks at night. For the sake of my kids I knew I'd have to keep it together. Donna was working out better than I expected and it felt good to have a little female presence in the house for a change.

When I pulled up onto the driveway Randy was waiting in her car for me.

"My key won't fit in the lock and Donna won't let me in the house to see my kids, she shouted at me.

"Hello Randy, nice seeing you again," I said in a pleasant tone. No use getting into it on the driveway where all the neighbors could see. "Donna is just doing what I've asked her to do, you can't be too careful these days. Come on in, the kids will be happy to see you." And they were.

For the next forty-five minutes Noah and Abby were all over their mother. I think they were afraid she was going to only stay for a few minutes so they were going to tell her everything and as fast as they could.

I told Donna to leave and that I'd finish dinner. "Randy, if you want to stay for dinner, we're having pot roast with all the trimming," I told her, as the kids now didn't give Randy a choice as they pulled her to the kitchen table.

The kids were wild until I told them that unless they ate immediately they'd be going right to bed after dinner. They were done in less than ten minutes as they started in again on Randy. I just sat back and said nothing as our eyes just watched one another.

By 8:00 the kids were in bed and Randy was reading them one last story. They asked if they'd see her in the morning but the only thing she said was for them to go to sleep. One more kiss and hug goodnight, and they were down for the count. She found me in the kitchen finishing up the dishes.

"Good kids," she said.

"Great kids," I corrected her.

"Steve, I want to explain about Sunday," she started.

"No need Randy, you can do whatever with whomever you want from now on, I'm done."

"You're giving up on us?" she shot back.

"At about 11:05 Sunday night to be exact," I replied.

"Steve, it was a damn joke, that's all. Tony was giving me a hard time because I wouldn't go out with him, that's all."

"What do you call Sunday night if it wasn't a date?"