When Fantasy Becomes Reality Ch. 02

"I guess I was technically his date for the night, but my main purpose to be there, was to do some networking. My agent said that it was the perfect place to meet the right people so that's why I was there."

"And you didn't tell me ahead of time for what reason? Instead you just let me get blind-sided. Can you imagine the looks I got Monday when I went into work? The people who didn't feel sorry for me thought we had an open marriage and that I didn't care if you went off on a cruise with that asshole."

"I'm sorry Steve, and it seems like I'm saying that every time we meet lately, but it's true. I do love you, it's just that stupid things keep happening to me," she said trying to reach for my hand.

"And none of it's your fault right? Who else are you not dating? Who else is going to come out of the woodwork? Randy, as much as I love you, I'm done. I'm just too tired to fight anymore, you wore me down. I'll make the divorce as painless as possible but I do want the kids and the house. We can split the rest up and don't worry I won't be asking for anything from you, I don't need or want your damn money," I told her.

"You can't divorce me, we have a legal agreement and I'm holding you to it," she shot back. I haven't broke a single condition and I won't let you terminate it."

"Randy, what's the point? You don't want to be married and tied down, at least not to me, and we're just putting off the inevitable," I tried to explain to her.

"Steve, you owe me four more months, and that includes counseling every week. If after four months you want to call it quits, we can go our separate ways and I'll even pay for the divorce. Until that time, we're married for better or worse," she told me. "And, I expect to have my own key to my own house so I can see my kids when I want to," she stood there with her arms crossed.

Reluctantly I gave her a key; I really didn't have a choice after all it was her house too. I told Donna that Randy was allowed full access but to let me know what was going on.

"Steve, I'm glad you came back," Dr. Allen told me the following Thursday.

"Not my choice, I'm fulfilling an agreement I made, that's all," I told him.

"Well no matter, I'm glad you're here; shall we begin?"

For the next two months we hashed over a lot of the same points we'd talked about for the previous four and a half months. We came to a few agreements but were still a long way from resolving the major issues.

Randy was now stopping over to the house three days during the week and spending at least Saturday or Sunday at the house with the kids. They were in seventh heaven and kept asking her when she was coming home. That turned out to be the million-dollar question.

"Randy, do you see Steve's point about wanting a wife and mother?" Dr. Allen brought up a few weeks later.

"Steve, if I was still working full time as a teacher, how much time would I have for you and the kids?" she asked.

"Nights and weekends like we had before," I replied. "We always had dinner together and then a few hours to ourselves after we put the kids to bed."

"I don't see any difference from what we were doing?"

"Randy, the kids and I ate alone seventy-five percent of the time. The only interaction with the kids was mine and if we went anywhere, your mind was always somewhere else. Maybe you didn't see it, but when I brought it up, you always got mad or short with me. Finally I just gave up and stopped asking you to join us."

"But Steve, my hours aren't 8:00 to 5:00 Monday to Friday. Sometimes they are less, but most of the time it's more than that. It's not like I'm doing the same thing day after day, I'm trying to create something out of my imagination and put in on paper."

"Ok let's say for the moment I understand the concept. Who sets your schedule? You or the publishing company?" I asked.

"I do, what's your point?"

"The point is, you're pushing yourself to put out, what, five books a year? What would happen if you cut it back to three instead of five?"

"I wouldn't make nearly as much money. I get a ten percent increase for every book after the third one. The fourth one is an extra ten percent and the fifth is twenty and so on," she said explaining it to me.

"All right, what's Noah worth, five thousand, ten? And how about Abby? She has to be worth at least twenty," I said trying to make my point. "Randy, tell me where your priorities lie, because that's what it's all coming down to. If it's your career, more power to you. We'll wish you the best and go on with our lives without you. I'd hate to see you go, but at this point you being a part of this family only when it's convenient for you isn't working."

"Steve, that's not fair," was her reply.

"Life isn't fair Randy. I want a loving wife and the kids need a mother, that's what it all boils down to. If you don't want the job, I'll find someone who does."

"What's that supposed to mean? What is that, some kind of threat?"

"Randy, I loved being married to you. I miss the closeness, the tenderness and the sharing of my life with that special someone. But it can't be one sided like it is now. You have a choice to make, either you're in it all the way or not at all. You'll always be the kids' mother and I'll never keep them from you, but I can't go on like we have been. So screw the two months we have left on that damn agreement. If you want to take me to court so be it but I'm not waiting any longer." With that I got up and walked out as both Randy and Dr. Allen told me to stop and sit back down.

Thursday night I didn't sleep a wink and by Friday night I was about whipped. The kids went to sleep around 9:00 and I was right with them. They woke me up Saturday morning demanding food.

"Kids, give me ten minutes and I'll be downstairs," I told them as I threw something on and slowly moved down the stairs. Another long weekend without much to do I thought to myself as I turned the corner and saw Randy sipping on a cup of coffee.

"I saved you a cup," she said as she continued to sip on hers.

I grabbed a cup and sat down next to her.

"Kids are watching cartoons," she said pointing to the two little ones wrapped in a blanket lying on the living room floor.

"What brings you out this early on a Saturday morning?" I asked afraid of what I was about to hear.

"Steve, I'm sorry," is how she started without so much as looking at me.

"That's all right I didn't expect you to give it up, but I hoped anyway," I said standing up and walking towards the stairs.

"I'm sorry, but I guess you're going to be stuck with me full time from now on," she continued as I spun around not believing what I'd heard.

"Say that again if you don't mind," I asked thinking that my brain hadn't heard correctly what had come out of her mouth.

"I said, you're stuck with me for better or worse, richer or poorer and until death us do part, or something like that," she said now smiling. "So you'd better get cracking and feed us, because we've got a ton of stuff to move today and tomorrow."

I was crazy happy and all I wanted to do is grab her, kiss her and take her upstairs; but that's when my adult brain kicked in and pushed my emotions deep back inside again.

"Why? Randy why do you want to come back? If it's because you miss us when you're alone in your condo after a night of writing forget it, and stay where you are. Get a cat or dog to keep you company and you can see kids on weekends. I never once said you had to give up your writing, only that there had to be room in your busy life for us also."

"Steve, I wanted it all before and I still want it all. I love my new life but I want my old one also. I know there's a way we can have both."

Six months ago I would have served her papers and gone on with my life. The only thing that was now different was one word. 'We.' 'We' can have both. Before today it was either 'I' or 'me' but now there was 'we', and I figured I owed us all one more chance.

By Saturday night we had about sixty percent moved and were finally done, thanks to her parents help Sunday afternoon.

Saturday evening after the kids were in bed I went looking for Randy. I found her in our bedroom, lying on the bed with a dried-up rose between her breasts.

"Now, about that rose you never gave me," she said smiling as I ripped off my clothes. "You think I can get a rain check on it?"

Was our marriage perfect after that that weekend? Not on your life, but we did set our priorities, family and then work in that order. Donna is still with us, which saves us both a lot of time, or should I say it gives us time to reconnect in the evenings.

Randy somehow did manage to get four books published last year, and is currently working on a story about a husband who can't seem to get enough sex. Her research is going better than expected and I hope to give her enough material for her next chapter tonight after the kids go to sleep; or maybe two chapters depending on how tired she is.