When He's Not Worth Missing

Trey glanced anxiously at the phone. Waiting for the damn thing to ring was putting him in a foul mood. He knew she as in trouble, he could feel it. It had crossed his mind to just get in his truck and go to her, but he knew he had to wait it out until she called. His stomach twisted up with anxiety. He exhaled trying not to think about what he’d do to her bastard husband if he ever got his hands on him. If he’d so much as breathed heavy on her, he was gonna . . . The phone jingled and started him out of his thoughts. He snagged it on the second ring.

“Diana? Baby, is that you?” His soft drawl echoed in his empty kitchen. There was a muffled sound from the other end and then she answered him.

“He’s gone, Trey,” she whispered. His heart started to hammer at the defeat in her voice.

“Are you OK?” He tried to keep his tone soft but he could tell by the sniff from the other end that she had heard the anger in his voice. He raged inside, wishing he could take her away, but knowing that she wasn’t ready to give up on her “family” yet. Taking a deep breath, he tried again.

“Diana, do you want me to come over?” he offered. The line was silent except for her soft sobs. He waited, impatient, but still willing to give her the time she needed.

“I have to check on the boys,” she finally replied. “I think the doors unlocked.” He took that as his invitation and didn’t give her the chance to change her mind.

“I’ll be there just as soon as I can,” he said and tucked the phone back into the cradle

He passed her house and glanced into the driveway. The car was gone and he breathed a sigh of relief that her husband hadn’t returned. He kept driving past the house and around the block, fighting to reign in his emotions. There was a deep-seated hatred for this man that she had married, but his love for Diana was overwhelming. He felt like he needed to take her into his arms and carry her away somewhere where she’d be safe from the man, from herself, safe from everything but him. He thought about what it would be like to see her smile. It had been a while since he’d seen her truly smile that open carefree smile of hers. She had been standing before him as he took her newborn son into his arms. Just days old the baby had opened his eyes and looked at him. He’d smiled down at the baby boy and Diana had beamed. Inwardly he’d felt jealous and resentful of the baby’s father, for occupying the spot in her life that he had wanted for himself.. But he’d pushed the thought away as he handed the baby back to her. He shook his head as even now the memory of her standing there that day in April, in her front yard holding her new little bundle, with the sun streaming down onto her auburn hair and kissing the soft skin just above her breasts made him ache with hardness. She had been radiant that day, so soft and supple and obviously in love that he’d beat a quick escape from the scene, his pants tight and his body throbbing. He’d been embarrassed, to long for her so much, to be slapped with the reality that she was so desperately in love with someone else.

He pulled his truck into the driveway and then off into the yard next to the garage, out of view from the street. He hated hiding the fact that he was around. He’d made so many late night trips to her house to comfort her that he felt entitled to park in the damn garage, but Diana’s refusal to leave her husband told him she had other ideas concerning his place in her life. He shuddered as he thought about the last trip he’d made here. She had called weeping, her husband had stormed out after yet another fight and she thought the baby she was carrying was coming. The brief minutes it had taken him to get to her had felt like an eternity. She was in agony when he’d finally arrived and he’d gathered up her son and buckled his car seat into his truck. After lifting the little boy up into the cab, he’d returned to the house for his momma. Diana had been so weak that he had swung her up into his arms and carried her outside. She had moaned softly against his shoulder and he’d whispered a silent prayer into her soft bangs that he’d made it in time to save the baby. He’d never have gotten her to the hospital in time...his intuition had told him to call for an ambulance on the way over. He’d thanked the good Lord that they’d arrived just behind him as they met him to take her. As the EMT’s loaded her into the back of he ambulance he’d stopped just long enough to wipe a smug of blood from her swollen lip before she gasped. She had reached out for him but they’d shuffled her into the truck out of his grasp. A gruff voice asked him if he was the father and as he shook his head the doors slammed on the vehicle and it sped way.

His hands trembled on the steering wheel as he shut off the engine. Seeing her like that had shaken him to his very soul. He’d rushed to follow the ambulance to the hospital. Parking his truck, he’d lifted Diana’s sleeping toddler into his arms and been stunned at how well her little boy fit against his chest. The staff stalled him in the lobby and a second later he learned that her husband was all ready there when the man had sauntered up to Trey and removed the sleeping child from his possession. He remembered how he’d felt empty without the little boy in his arms and how rigid the child seemed to be as he frowned in his sleep at the change in people. Her husband had left without so much as a backward glance let alone a thank you. Anger had forced him from the building but he’d stopped at the exit and turned back to the desk to ask about Diana. He’d held his breath as the nurse clicked away at the computer. The baby would live, born eight weeks early and his momma was doing fine after the surgery. Trey had uttered a few thankful words heavenward and then swore under his breath for the tears welling up in his eyes.

He gazed out the window then, wondering what that baby looked like. He’d never seen him. Common sense told him that he should be home in bed at this hour instead of worrying about another mans wife and children, but his heart ached for the woman in that house and all he could think about was that she needed him there with her and the boys. He slipped down from the cab of the truck and looked up at the stars. The rain started to drizzle, stinging his face. He tried hard to gather his defenses, knowing that his heart could end up broken a thousand more times before she was ready to come to her senses and give in to him. He didn’t know how long he could survive having his heart thrown back at him. Trey twisted the door knob and swung the door open.

“Diana? It’s Trey, baby, where are you?” he called out into the dark kitchen. His eyes adjusted and he saw her sitting on the counter. Even sitting broken in the darkness she was lovely. His heart ached as he reached her and gathered her close. She molded easily into his arms and he fought to ignore the swell in his heart at her willingness to come to him. “Did you check on the boys?” he whispered in her hair. Her head shook gently. “Com’mon...” He lifted her down and her hand fit into his. He passed through the living room with her in tow and walked to the end of the hallway. Broken glass crunched under his boots as he surveyed walls where the picture frames had once hung. He stopped and waited for her to open the door to her sons room. Following her in, he checked the windows to make sure they were locked and then stepped back and watched her as she snugged the little boy back under the covers. He grasped a small sleeper clad foot in his hand and gently tucked it back into the bed. The child smiled in his sleep and then sighed softly as he rolled over clutching his bear. The boy looked unharmed but Trey’s stomach twisted with anger as the soft nightlight showed the same didn’t hold true for Diana. The dim light highlighted the bruise that was starting to swell around her left eye. He reached for her but she turned her head away from the light and headed for the door.

Trey followed as she padded softly out of the room and closed the door. Then she turned to a second door and tiptoed into the nursery. The baby was sleeping peacefully. Trey gave a sigh of relief to see that the baby was truly no worse for wear after his ordeal just a few short month earlier. Looking at him now Trey would never have known that he had come early into the world. He checked the windows in the nursery as Diana laid her hand gently on her sleeping babe’s chest. She stepped out of the door and waited for him in the hallway while he looked down at the baby. He wanted desperately to pick up the child, eager to finally hold him, bask in this warm little piece of Diana snug in his arms. Mentally shaking himself he left the nursery and closed the door behind him.

“Hold me?”she whispered to him as he shut the door. He took her close and he felt her soften against him.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asked her.

“I’m sore all over...I want to get into the shower...” The sentence trailed off and he heard something close to longing in her voice. He let her go and went into the bathroom wishing it was him she was longing for. Taking the lighter from the shelf he lit the two wall sconces opposite the mirror and then unplugged the nightlight. The room was bathed in soft candle light. He pushed open the frosted shower door and turned on the water, adjusting it warm for her. After setting the lever, water started to spray on his upper arm and he slid the door closed and swore silently as the sleeve of his shirt dripped down his forearm. He stepped around her to leave the room. Her hand grasped his arm.

“Where are you going?” she asked. The alarm in her voice surprised him.

“I’m going out so you can get in the shower,” he replied, “I’ll wait for you in the living room.” She looked into his eyes.

“I don’t want you to go,” she stated simply, holding his gaze. He licked his lips trying to absorb what she was saying and ignore the effect her words had on his groin.

“I need to go to the truck,” he said shifting uncomfortably. He knew what he wanted her to be offering him but he’d be damned if he’d make a fool out of himself without knowing for sure what she was meaning. He gestured toward the wet sleeve of his shirt. “I have an extra shirt out there...I’ll be back in a minute to sit with you. That way you can get in the shower and still preserve you modesty.” He waited a second for her to ask him to join her and when the invitation didn’t come he wasn’t surprised. He turned quickly and left the room. Walking to his truck he scolded himself for letting his thoughts run off with him. It should have been obvious that Diana wasn’t ready for what he had to give her...Hell, she’d probably never be ready. He unlocked the tailgate and then reached under the bed cap and pulled out his duffel bag where he kept a change of clothes.. Tugging his jacket closer to him he started slowly back to the house, letting the sting of the rain on his face sober him up.

He entered the house, locked the door behind him, and then dug the clean shirt out of the duffel. He left his boots on and strode through the kitchen trying to make a little noise so he wouldn’t scare her. He pushed the bathroom door open and realized that she still hadn’t heard him coming. She had her back to the door and through the frosty panes of glass he could make out the curve of her body. His reaction to her was immediate and he had to fight the voyeur in him to keep from reaching for his straining zipper. She turned under the spray and he groaned out loud at the sight of her profile. Even through the shower doors she was enough to bring him to his knees. He barely stifled a groan before turning back to the door and knocking. She jumped in the shower and he called out to her.

“Its just me, sweetie,” he said. He was slightly disappointed when she crossed her arms over her breasts and turned to face the wall. He leaned up against the sink and tried not to scrape his gaze over her. He wasn’t desperate after all, he just felt that way.

“Trey?” she said after a minute. He looked up from the chip that he’d imagined into the tile between the toes of his boots and caught her gaze. She had leaned out around the shower doors just enough that he could see the round full side of one breast and the dark blurry spot through the glass that marked her nipple. He swallowed hard and went back to the chip in the grout. “I want you to hold me...” she whispered. This time he met her eyes unable to look anywhere else.

“I will when you get out,” he managed his voice raspy.

“No...Now. I....I think I want you.” He blinked at her, lost to words. She pushed the door open and held her hand out to him. His breath came in sporadic bursts as he drank in the sight of her. She was wet from head to toe, the water glistening in the candle light. His eyes raked over her breasts, still larger than usual from her newly ended pregnancy. He followed imaginary lines he’d dreamed of tracing with his tongue down across her darkened nipples, across the gentle round of her abdomen, then lower. He smiled as his eyes absorbed every inch of her, how her free hand rested self-consciously across her stomach covering the soft flesh that had carried her precious babes. In his mind he could see her swollen with his child and the thought made him even harder. He reached out and took her extended hand, then grasped her other wrist to open her arms to him.

“My God you’re beautiful,” he breathed. “So much more so then I ever would have imagined.” He saw the rose blush creep from her cheeks down her neck and he longed to kiss the flesh to see if it was heated. “Please, Diana, don’t do this unless you’re sure...” His eyes were pleading and he let go of her hands. She didn’t respond right away, but just as he’d lost hope she cupped her hand tp the back of his neck and pulled him to her. His lips were just a breath from hers and he could smell the sweet mint flavor of the lip balm she wore. He held his ground waiting to let her make the first move, for the show of commitment. She didn’t wait long before she slanted her lips across his.

She’d kissed him a million times before, always in a friendly brief way that did nothing but leave him aching for more. He felt her lips begin to part and he wrapped his arms around her. The water sprayed from the shower, drenching his shoulders as he took he close to him. Her lips were so soft and pliant and he waited patiently for her to decide. He was rewarded in another second as he felt her tongue timidly brush his lower lip. That was all he needed for encouragement. He claimed her mouth, his tongue twisting with hers. The inches between them closed as she leaned into him and the front of his shirt, now wet, clung to his chest. Her hands slid up the wet material and her palms grazed his nipples. He gasped and broke the kiss.

“Baby, are you sure? I need to stop now if you’re not. If we go any farther I may not be able to.” He watched her face looking for some reaction but she left him wanting.

“I’m sure, Trey,” she said finally.

“You’ve never wanted this before. You’re husband...” Her finger on his lips caused him to trail off.

“The man’s not worth missing,” she said simply. “I’m not going to let him hurt me anymore, Trey. Not when there’s a perfect man standing right in front of me that loves me. He’s loved me all along and I was too blind to see it.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “He won’t be back...” she said looking slightly past him. “He knows I’m finally strong enough to make it without him. But I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to go through this alone.” Her gaze met his again and he could see the vulnerability. He took her into his arms.

“All I’ve ever been waiting for was you to come to your senses,” he whispered. “I love you, Diana, more then I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“But what about my boys?” she said softly. He smiled broadly at her.

“Our boys...” he corrected. He was rewarded with her beautiful smile. He leaned down and kissed a tear from the corner of her eye. She winced slightly and anger welled up in him for any man that would touch this beautiful woman in anger. He knew right then that he would worship her just as long as she would let him. “Will you let me show you how much I love you?” She nodded slightly and he reached past her and turned off the water. “The bedroom?” he asked urgently.

“Downstairs,” she said. He took the towel off the rack and wrapped her it around her. Slipping his arm behind her knees he lifted her and started for the stair.

“You have no idea, baby, just no clue how long I’ve wanted you,” he said. Her arms twined around his neck, her breasts pressing to him. She looked up at him and he saw the skittish look in her eye. “I’ll be gentle,” he whispered.

He found the bedroom at the foot of the stair to the right and opened the door. The room felt warm and welcome with the tiny light burning by the night stand. He placed her gently on the bed and unwrapped the towel. She was beautiful and he smiled to himself, knowing that she didn’t even realize it. She watched him with cool eyes as he undressed. Then he knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed and brought her to him.

“What are you doing?” she asked. Her voice was timid and he knew she was feeling self-conscious.

“I’m going to love you, baby,” he replied. “Lay back.” She obeyed but her body was stiff as he brought his lips to hers. “Relax.” He linked her knees over his shoulders and lowered his tongue again.

He traced his tongue slowly up her lips, whisper soft and so slow. He heard her gasp and he grazed his teeth over the soft flesh. Using his tongue he parted her lips and delved into her wetness. She gasped again and this time he could hear the shock.

“Doesn’t he do this for you?” He looked up at her. She was reclined on a large bed pillow and her eyes were wide. She didn’t answer in words but her eyes met his briefly and then darted away. He sighed in anger, again directed at this man she had chosen. “Well then I’ll do it for you.”

His mouth was back on her a second later and he could feel her torso gradually relaxing beneath his hands. He parted her again, felt her start to flow for him, and he probed deeper letting her softness clinch his tongue. Gently, he lapped at her, tasting her and feeling her begin to writhe against him. His tongue snaked slowly up to her swollen clit and he circled it twice before returning to her wetness. He wanted her so badly, felt like he would come just from sinking into her, but he waited, determined to love her until she begged him to stop. She grunted in disapproval a short minute later when he didn’t return to her clit. He felt her ankles link behind his back and she pulled him closer. Smiling to himself, he circled her clit again, this time just the tip of his tongue. Finally he let her have the full brunt of his tongue on her. Her fingertips pressed his shoulders and he felt her hips rise to him. He backed away, intent on teasing. A sigh and she retreated, waiting for him to return to his task. He wasn’t long to oblige. He tongued her swollen nub again and he heard her moan. His hands were on her and he could feel the heat run through her body. She started to tremble. His index finger slowly followed his tongue up and around her clit, then back down to slip inside her. She gasped again and then her fingers were in his hair. He seized her clit between his lips and sucked gently until he felt her hands pressing the back of his head. Smiling to himself he let his middle finger join the first and he rubbed slowly up and down inside her, her clit still sealed between his lips. She tightened around him and then she was pressed to him, holding him to her while she came. He held her while she bucked lightly against him, still rubbing her, still mouthing her. Before she could recover he was tempting her over the edge again, licking and sucking and stroking her to another powerful orgasm.