When Irish Eyes Are Smiling Ch. 05

"Lucubrating? Lucubrating who and what'd he do to deserve it?"

"Hahaha," I deadpanned a laugh. "Lucubrating means a lot of written work and prolonged study, in particular at night by candle light.

"I knew that."

"Of course you did. Anyway, for the rest of the week we're going to be burning the midnight oil. 'We spend our mid-day sweat, or mid-night oil; we tire the night in thought; the day in toile,'" I quoted for him then gave him my best upper middle class British accent. "Francis Quarles, an English dame known for her dignified whining through prose."

"I love it when you pretend to be educated. So, okay, I'll put out a late-night snack and keep the bed warm for you."

I winced. "I wouldn't count on me making it home to bed. I'll probably be sleeping on the office couch."

He uttered a few, choice and very disappointed curse words, which pleased me. "You've got my key," he sighed. "If you can make it back, come on in. I don't care how late it is."

I couldn't make it home that night, and when I managed to catch a nap, I slept alone for the first time in weeks. I talked with him briefly the next day, finally getting a few minutes online for a video conference.

"The sofa in my office is lumpy," I complained right out of the gate. I was a rumpled mess in just my shirt, having discarded my tie long before. He, by contrast, was his usual freshly pressed looking self. Rubbing my gritty eyes, I said, "The clerks are working their asses off, God-bless-'em, but they can't make a cup of coffee worth shit."

He mentioned that he'd be dropping in on his ex, Cathy, Thursday afternoon to get the gallery information he'd promised my sister. I wondered with bitter ingratitude why she couldn't just e-mail it to him.Because, of course, they're still friends,I reminded myself.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to concentrate on something other than him and Cathy talking and possibly being alone together. Finally, I stole a few minutes between stacks of depositions to dig the scrap of pink paper Deb had given me out of my wallet. It was dinnertime, but she'd said anytime I needed, so I dialed the number, anxiously hoping she'd be able to reassure me.

"No," she said, sounding certain of her answer. "That's definitely not something you have to worry about. First, Dev and Cathy have run into each other now and then over the last few months. If they were going to get back together, they'd have done it before now."

Maybe, I thought,but what if she gets him thinking about being with a woman again?

"Second," Deb was going on, "Cathy's got a new guy who adores her, and she isn't the type to just throw him over in pursuit of an old flame. Believe me, Devlin had to fuck up a lot before Cathy gave up on him, and this guy will need to do the same."

"I thought you said Cathy really wounded Dev—"

"She did, but that doesn't mean he didn't earn it, which is the third thing. Dev may not be so good at insight or foresight, but his hindsight is excellent. He wouldn't try to get back together with someone he'd wronged, and he knows he didn't do right by Cathy."

"I don't know how that could be. Devlin's such an incredible person—"

"He is incredible, but that self-confidence of his lets him act without thinking, which is good if he's at the gym and runs into some hot, shy hunk that's caught his eye—"

I blushed.

"—he'll go right up and ask him out. But that kind of nerve isn't always so good in a relationship. I remember this one time that a gallery called up, they had an unexpected opening in their schedule and wanted to offer it to Cathy. Dev was the one who answered the phone, and he refused it for her because they had plans to go skiing that weekend. He didn't even think about it, didn't even consider asking her. Cathy was furious and Dev, in hindsight, was mortified. He didn't mean to fuck up, but like I said, he's not so good with insight or foresight."

She paused, seeming to brood on that then switched gears. "Anyway, the point is, even if he wasn'tnauseatinglyhappy with you, he wouldn't be tempted to get back with Cathy. You're more in danger of him falling for a stranger."

"Wait a minute, wait—" I said, trying to figure out that hesitancy in her voice. "Back up. Do you think Dev's going to do something thoughtless to me, like he did to Cathy?"

Another pause, then, "I'm worried that he's already done it."

My words nearly stuck behind the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. "And what? You don't think I'm going to handle it well?"

"Joel, I'm just letting you know what's coming. Sooner or later, Dev's going to step up to you, looking like a naughty puppy, and admit that he crossed the line, whatever that line is. You'll handle it however it deserves to be handled, smack him with a newspaper or kick him out of the house. The question isn't whether you can handle it, but whether you can accept it. He doesn't want to mess up, he's trying his best, but we all have our blind spots. This is his. Cathy...Cathy finally got tired of it."

"I have to go now," I said reluctantly. One of the clerks was at my door, another stack of depositions in her arms. "Thanks for talking to me."

I ate Thai take-out that night, being careful not to spill any on the paperwork. Finally, at one-thirty in the morning, I headed home for some proper sleep. I opened Devlin's door and showered in his bathroom as quietly as I could. Sighing heavily, I settled into bed next to him. Wrapping my arms around his familiar form, I burrowed my nose into the hair along the back of his neck and inhaled his fragrance. He stirred a bit, but was too deeply asleep to awaken. His warmth radiating into me had a powerfully soporific effect, pushing me into sleep's current, where the undertow caught me and pulled me down.

The alarm I'd set in my phone woke me at an unreasonable hour, but there was nothing to be done for it. I had to get up and get back to the office. I carefully disentangled my limbs from his, kissing his shoulder and whispering things I'd never have said had he been awake.