When Plans Change

He changed plans on me again! The bastard! He's so inconsiderate that I'm only just finding out that he changed his plans now that I'm standing outside his building. When he didn't buzz me in when I rung his doorbell, I called him to let him know I was standing outside. The arrogant ass didn't even apologize for inconveniencing me. He just said, "Oh, I forgot to call and tell you that my brothers came by to take me fishing." How could he not be home when he knew I'd be coming over! I'm sick of him! And I'm sick of me for putting up with him! I hate failure and want our relationship to work so badly that I've put up with way more than anyone should have to.

So here I am in my car wondering what to do. I don't really want to go home and I love my best friend, but know I can't go hang with her. She's probably tired and fussing with the kids. Plus, I don't want her telling me what I already know...that he's no good for me. We'll have a margarita night soon for that discussion. As I ponder over my options, my mind keeps wandering to Jae. She's always asking me to come and chill with her. I haven't taken her up on it though because he has a problem with me hanging out with lesbians. He only accepts my best friend because I've assured him that nothing has ever happened between us, and she's married to a woman that I also consider a friend.

Sitting in my car angry and more than a little depressed, I decided to call and see if Jae was busy. When she answered, she said that she was at home drinking a few beers and watching TV. I told her that my plans for the day had changed and was wondering what she were up to. She immediately invited me over. I tried to ignore the sense of anticipation I was feeling at finally making plans to be alone with her. On the drive over, I found that I was nervous. Not nervous enough to go home, but nervously giddy (and I don't do giddy). When I pulled up in front of her house, I had to take a few calming breaths before getting out of the car. I told myself that I was just nervous because I knew that he would be angry when he found out who I spent the day with. It wasn't because I was curious or attracted to her in any way.

She must have heard me pull up because she was standing in the doorway when I looked up. I could feel the pounding of my heart as I got out of the car and made the short walk toward her. When I reached her, I was pulled into the biggest hug that I've received in a long time. It was so wonderful that for a moment I forgot my nerves. When she released me, she grabbed my hand and led me into her apartment.

Once inside, I saw that she was watching a horror movie. Not quite my style, but I sat while she went to get me something to drink. When she returned and found me covering my eyes she started laughing. She told me that she could put in another movie, but I told her that I could handle it. She sat on the sofa beside me and I was immediately distracted by the feel of her leg touching mine. She was wearing gym shorts and I had on a skirt so we had direct skin contact. I was further distracted when she placed her hand on my thigh and told me that she was glad that I decided to come over. I faced her to respond, but no words would come out. She just smiled at me and said, "I got you during the scariest parts." When she turned to once again focus on the movie, I felt relief.

My mind is whirling with questions as I sit beside her; questions like...What was I really doing here? Did she have certain expectations? Did I want her to have expectations? What would I do if she made a move? Finally, I told myself to stop it and just enjoy the company and deal with things as they come. Easier said than done but I like Jae and if nothing else, we can have a fun day together.

Once I resolved to relax, I discovered that we naturally began leaning into each other. Better still, she had one arm placed casually across my shoulders. It was nice feeling supported since, he never cared to sit and relax with me. I'm not certain, but Jae must have sensed that my mood had changed when I was thinking about him because she asked if anything was wrong. When I looked up into her face and saw her concern, I just started crying. I could just slap myself... I hated crying and I couldn't stop. She just held me and let me cry. Her voice was so soothing and her arms were so comforting that I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up slowly and a little confused. I was definitely comfortable, but I was in someone's arms. Actually, I was laying on them! Then it hit me where I was and who I was with. I opened my eyes and looked to find Jae watching me. I didn't know what to say as I realized how intimately we were arranged on the couch. She was on her back leaning against an armrest with my head resting on her chest and my legs between hers. I noticed that she was lightly rubbing my back with one hand as she stared down into my face. When I asked how long I had been asleep. Her reply was to say not long enough if I planned to move. If I could blush...now would be the time. I hid my face in her chest and whispered, "I never want to move."

As I lay there with my head on her chest I became aware of two things. First I noticed that one of my hands was tangled up in her braids, and secondly that her hand which was caressing my back was slowly moving lower. It felt like I was in a dream when I lifted my face up only to have her join her lips to mine. All thought left my brain as I focused on the sensation of her soft lips moving against my own. A shiver went down my spine as I wrapped my arms around her neck to pull myself closer. I felt her hands as they slid up and down my back before stopping at my butt to give a firm squeeze.

After what seemed like hours, I pulled away to look into her eyes. We were both lightly panting. Both of my hands were now in her hair, while both of her hands were kneading my buttocks. We lost eye contact when she became distracted by me licking my lips. When I moved one hand down to trail a finger down the side of her face, she moved to intercept it with her lips. Sucking on my finger for a moment before her lips kissed my brow, my eyes, my nose, and finally reclaiming my lips. I was drowning in emotions and sensations. Lost in how her body felt against mine. I was overwhelmed with the pleasure of her kisses.

Again I was the first to break the kiss. I'm not sure what I want to say as I struggle to form words, but she stops me with three little words. "I got you."