When We Were Married Ch. 03D

"Bill -- I"

"I said I get it, Aline. I never really thought deep down anything would happen. I can't say I'm sorry. I can't say I didn't want it to happen, but I would have had mixed emotions anyway, doing something with Philippe Archambault's wife."

She dropped her eyes and avoided my gaze.

I reached into the inside pocket of my jacket and pulled out a small three-inch by three-inch purple case.

"What?"

I grabbed her hand and placed it palm up on the table, then placed the case in her hand.

"Don't talk. Let me finish this."

I tried to find the right words.

"When I walked onto this ship four days ago, deep down I thought that my life to all intents and purposes was over. I was going to keep going, because there was nothing else I could do. But I wasn't expecting to enjoy myself. I hadn't had an erection in four months. I hadn't kissed or been kissed by a woman that I cared about in nearly four months.

"The only thing that mattered to me was my job, and maybe, making a connection again with my kids. But the part of me that was a man, that part I shut down. I wanted to forget that it even existed. Because there was nothing there but pain and contempt for myself. I just wasn't man enough to keep my wife."

I reached out and ran one finger down the side of her face.

"And then I met you. You started changing me before I even knew who you were, or why you were staring at me. And then we met and we talked on the deck Saturday night. And then, there was last night. Even if it was all an act, and I don't think it was, it changed me. For the first time since...that night...I started thinking like a man again. It didn't matter whether I had any real chance with you...at least I started wanting to be with a woman again."

Her eyes glistened.

"That's why...it doesn't matter whether what you said and the way you acted was from you personally, or just you doing your job. Why you did it, doesn't matter. What matters is the way I feel. You changed my life, Aline. When I walk off this ship I won't be the same man I was when I walked on."

I reached over and gently lifted the top of the case off. The lights in the ceiling played on the gold fleur-de-lis pin inside. I reached inside and pulled it out. Her eyes grew larger. I took the case out of her hand laid the solid gold and diamond pin in her palm. The heart-shaped diamond in the center at the base of the pin twinkled under the lights.

She shook her head.

"No, Bill. No. This is impossible. I cannot-"

"You can. And you will. The Fleur-de-lis is something you can wear with your uniform or personal dress. The diamond in the center is a symbol of our friendship. It's as close to being eternal as any substance on earth."

"It is completely inappropriate. I could not accept something so expensive. And...how could I ever..."

"Show it to Philippe. Tell him it was a symbol of friendship from Bill Maitland. I hope he'll remember me. Tell him you met me when I was at a low point in my life, and my life changed in a week. Tell him he's a lucky bastard to have you in his life permanently. And that I envy him."

She looked down at it and ran her fingers over the heavy gold.

"How much...."

"Seven thousand American. The diamond is not great quality and they gave me a deal on it."

"Too much."

"I'm not a wealthy man, but I'm not poor either, Aline. And what do I need with money? I make enough to support my kids, and I've never cared that much for money."

I stood and pulled her to her feet to stand beside me.

"The bottom line, Aline, is that you have changed my life and I will never forget you. I doubt we'll ever cross paths again. It would make me feel good to know that -- a piece of me -- will be close to you. And that maybe, one day, you'll be holding it and think of me. That's all."

I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. It had been a nice dream, but I really had never expected anything to happen.

I was on deck as we sailed later that night. From what I'd read the Bonne Chance would slowly sail back, stopping for a full day Wednesday at a small private island in the middle of nowhere and then chug back into Jacksonville Thursday morning. It would sail out of Jacksonville for the next month and then move on further south to a port in South America which would be its home port for the next three months. It was the ultimate gypsy life.

I went into a bar, grabbed a Bloody Mary and walked slowly to the bow. It was 11 p.m. I hadn't seen or heard from Aline and wouldn't. I watched passengers pass me, walking the decks, most of them couples holding hands or kissing. It should have depressed me, but somehow it didn't.

As I moved along the deck I saw a familiar figure leaning over the rail. I tried to remember his name.

"First time I've seen you without your better half," I told him. "I thought you were joined at the hip."

Dan Jenkins turned slowly to look at me. He looked different without the ever present smile on his face.

"We were both out late last night and turned in early tonight. She's sleeping now. I had....nightmares. Couldn't sleep."

"Been there, done that."

"Have you ever loved somebody so much it felt like they were part of your own body and had them ripped out of your life....felt like somebody had taken your heart out with a rusty spoon?"

"Yeah."

"The worst part is...the part I can't get my head around...is I don't know why. I thought we had it good. And then one day she waltzes in and tells me she's fallen in love with somebody else and wants me out...of our house...of our life. And she's never told me why."

I thought about what he'd said. I didn't think there was any way things could have been worse between Debbie and me, but that would have been worse. Poor bastard.

"This is your second?" I gestured vaguely back to the cabins.

"Yeah. Uh..I hope I'm not getting too personal, but I haven't noticed you with that French lady. You were inseparable the last few days. I hope..."

"We were just friends. She's married and I'm still married, at least for another month."

"Do you mind if I get personal for a moment?'

"Why not?"

"I'm a salesman. I know people. I read them. You have to be able to do that to convince people to buy something they're damned determined they're not going to buy. And the way she was looking at you wasn't the way you look at a friend. The same for the way you were looking at her. I'd be the last man on earth to encourage anybody to break up a marriage...but..."

He looked back out to sea.

"After my first wife, Holly, left me, my life turned to shit. I drank too much, chased the wrong kind of women, and really didn't much care if I lived or died. And then one day, I had to go into this office for business. Just business. And Caroline was sitting at a desk. She looked up and our eyes met. I know...a bad cliché. But something happened.

"Looking back I know I could have walked away, told myself it was just my imagination, that no damned woman was worth taking a chance on. But I didn't. I felt like I was going to fall off the side of a mountain if I didn't walk over and talk to her. So I did and here we are. She told me she felt it too. So no matter what the cynics say, it does happen."

He turned back toward me.

"What I'm saying is that we never know how many chances we're going to get in this life. I thought I'd be married to Holly for the rest of my life. And when that crashed and burned I thought I wouldn't get a second chance. If I hadn't taken the opportunity to talk to Caroline, who knows if another chance would ever come along?

"The French woman seems to be married and I can look at you and tell that your ex really torched you. But, there's still that connection with the French woman. You walk away from it and maybe you'll get another chance. Maybe you won't. But there are no guarantees."

He waved his hand in the air.

"Free advice. Probably worth as much as it costs. But you might want to think about it."

"I have. But I think it's a moot point right now. I think our relationship such as it was, is in the past. But I thank you for telling me about yourself. I wish you luck with...Caroline. And it's good to know there are second acts. Now, I don't want to seem like an elder father figure or something, but why in the hell are you out here talking to me when you could be in your room curling up next to something that looks like that? Keep your priorities straight, man."

He looked out to sea once more and then shook his head.

"I probably won't get much more sleep tonight. I usually don't when I get those...dreams. But maybe I will wake her up to let her know just how lucky a guy I think I am."

He left me alone on the deck with my thoughts. We take vows for life, but how many of us actually make it to the finish line. Like they say, marrying for life probably worked when most people didn't make it beyond their 40s or 50s and most of that time they were working their asses off just to stay alive. Not enough time to get bored with each other.

I didn't feel like prowling the ship tonight and before midnight I was in my room. I slipped off my shoes, then the suit went and I finally pulled on some shorts. I decided I should make it back to the exercise room or at least see it was still open. I was getting ready to put my tennis shoes back on when I heard a knock at the door.

I wondered who the hell would be knocking this late at night. The thought crossed my mind that the only reason anybody would be contacting me would be if there was some kind of emergency message from the mainland. And that meant Debbie or the kids.

I opened the door and Aline stood there in her bright blue and gold uniform. The gold and diamond Fleur-de-lis pin sat over her left breast. She was crying. I wondered who I wanted to kill.

"You bastard," she said, stepping into the room. While I was trying to figure out what was happening, she was in my arms and trying to tickle my tonsils again. She was pushing me back as I returned her kiss and the next thing I know she was pushing me over on that big red bed.

"What-"

"Son of a bitch," she moaned as she kissed me so hard my lips burned.

She slid down me and the next thing I know she had my cock which was hardening at the speed of light in both her small hands and was jerking at the same time she dived down to suck and lick it. I should have asked her what was going on, but I couldn't get my thoughts clear enough to form words.

She pulled and squeezed and rubbed and I felt my excitement rising. She licked up one side and down the other. I saw that beautiful face and those full red lips full of my cock, which was harder than I'd ever imagined it being. Then she sucked it in and began slurping like it was a straw in a milkshake.

And she was still crying, tears running down over my dick and mixing with her saliva.

"Why?" I croaked.

"Bastard...bastard...bastard....why did you have to be so fucking sweet...."

I knew I didn't have so long. The sap was rising and I didn't want to waste what was likely to be a nuclear explosion in her mouth.

I pulled her mouth off me and basically threw her onto the bed. I yanked the skirt down and then she only had brief black panties on. She was so wet the panties were soaked through.

I licked her through her panties and she gasped, then tried to push my lips through the fabric. I ripped them off. The fabric shredded under my fingers but I really didn't care.

Then I buried my face between those luscious thighs and proceeded to feast on her French pussy. I held her fantastic ass in my two hands and opened her up to my tongue, I licked until I found a little nub and she started to scream. I took it in my teeth and nipped and she lost her breath in the middle of a scream. I felt like I was drowning.

She tried to scissor me between what turned out to be really strong thighs which probably would have strangled me but I held her legs apart with my arms and continued to lick and nip and bite as she bounced up and down on the bed.

"Aline," I said, making myself draw my drenched face away from her thighs.

"Shut the fuck up," she screamed. "Shut up, shut up, dammit shut up. Just fuck me."

I leaned over her and didn't move. She blinked and with one free hand wiped away the tears that streamed down her face.

"Please, Bill. Don't talk. Just fuck me. Fuck me hard. I want you so bad I'm hurting. I'm hurting."

I had only a moment to think. This was a married woman. A woman married to a man I had considered a friend. A woman who obviously had severe doubts about what she was doing before she apparently got a monumental case of the hots for me. I had never cheated on my wife in 18 years even after she'd cheated on me. And now I was going to do to another man what Doug had done to me.

And, deep inside above and beyond everything else, there was the fear that no matter how hard I felt, when the moment of truth came I'd wilt. I would not be able to stay hard long enough to satisfy her.

She answered with an argument I could not counter.

Grabbing my cock she positioned it over the gorgeous slit between her legs, what some wag described as the most valuable 6 or 7 centimeters of human real estate in the world. Then she pulled me down and I gladly let her. I slid inside her -- about a half inch and came to a halt. She was so wet she was squirting fluid around my dick, but I had come to a screeching halt.

"Don't stop....don't stop," she said, grabbing me by the shoulders to pull me in deeper.

"I wouldn't have thought that Philippe would be that small.."

"He isn't. I haven't been with a man in six months. Go on. I don't care if you hurt me. I want you inside me."

I pushed and slowly I slid further inside her. I don't know what was better, the feeling of her around me or the look in her eyes as I filled her. God, I hadn't realized how much I missed that look in a woman's eyes. And there didn't seem to be any wilting where it counted.

She gave me a soft "unnggh" as I came to a halt as far in as I could go, then I held it there and then withdrew slowly. She gasped as I came almost out, but stopped and then slid forward again. She whimpered, and she even whimpered with a French accent.

I lifted her legs over my shoulders which opened her up even wider and slid my cock in and out. I reached down and cupped her breasts in my hands and ran my fingers over her nipples, which plumped up. I ran my hands further to cup her face as I leaned over her.

She was a married woman and belonged to another man. But here, and now, she belonged to me. There's a reason we talk about making a conquest. In that moment, with her thighs opened to me, my cock buried deep inside her, her eyes locked on mine, she was mine.

This was the way Debbie must look when Doug had his big cock buried to the hilt inside her. This was the look she must give him. I felt something twist and break inside me and looking down into the beautiful eyes of the woman under me, I knew I'd never forgive my soon-to-be ex-wife, the miserable bitch who had looked at me that way once.

I could still stop. Even now. I could let her jerk me off. Or even suck me off. And it wouldn't be the same as fucking her, coming inside her. What the hell was wrong with me that I couldn't just fuck a willing woman and let it be just a nice fuck. With this woman it would be more.

And it wasn't just me. How could she ever look at her husband the same way after looking at me this way. She was going to give herself to me, and how could she ever go back to being the woman she'd been before tonight.

Shit. Why did I do this? I hadn't raped her, hadn't dragged her into my room, hadn't stuck my cock into her mouth.

I knew what the right thing to do was. I knew. But with my father's example to guide me, I had done the right thing over, and over and over. God, I was so fucking sick of always doing the right thing.

If I burned in hell tomorrow, I was going to have this woman tonight. I thrust forward and began fucking her hard and fast.

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