When You Know Ch. 01

All her life, or at least as long as she could remember, everything had gone right for Victoria Mullen; Vicky as her family knew her. The only daughter of a wealthy Philadelphia family, it seemed her life had almost been planned out from birth.

As a child, she attended the best private schools, graduating at the top of her class. From there, it was off to Yale (as her father told her she would from age 5), pre-law then law school, where she also excelled. Upon graduation, she landed at one of the most prestigious law firm in Philadelphia, Jenkins & Riley, where she would go on to be the youngest junior partner in the history of the firm.

Now, at 35, she was poised to take the next step, to become a full name partner, the first female in the history of the firm to accomplish it. With it came a significant rise in pay, though Vicky already had more money than she could ever possibly spend. She had a sizeable trust fund that she didn't even have a need for, a multimillion dollar penthouse near Rittenhouse Square, and a summer home in Stone Harbor on the Jersey shore.

Vicky was generally considered by most of the local society magazines to be the most eligible bachelorette in the Delaware Valley. Her high paced, busy career hadn't left much time for a dating life in her 20's, but even now the plan was working out perfectly. Vicky had been dating Dr. Richard Stone, a successful heart surgeon, for the last 3 years.

With her promotion to named partner, she could begin to pull back and hand off more of the grunt work to the junior partners and lawyers. It was the perfect time to finally get married, look to start a family and pump out the 2.5 kids her family expected her to.

Vicky was certain Richard was about to propose shortly. Over the last few months, he had been dropping subtle hints, asking how serious Vicky was about their relationship, where she saw their future. She knew he was prepping her for the inevitable proposal; despite being an extremely independent woman, Vicky was old fashioned enough to still expect him to propose.

In fact, she was heading to Richard's apartment for dinner tonight, and everything was pointing to the proposal happening then. She had even let her girlfriends in on it, so they could prepare wedding plans. A Mullen wedding would be the high society event of southeastern Pennsylvania next summer.

It was with this sense of excitement that Vicky opened the door to Richard's apartment on that fateful night. As always, Richard looked every bit the dashing young surgeon you see on any cheesy hospital drama on TV; her very own Dr. McDreamy. Tall, with blond hair and blue eyes, he almost seemed to come out of a catalog for dream men (if there was such a thing).

They were the perfect couple; it didn't matter to Vicky that theirs was not the most passionate relationship, or one in which they even spent much time together (both their careers wouldn't allow it). That could develop now that they could make marriage and family a priority.

To be honest, Vicky wasn't 100% sure she truly wanted a family, it wasn't as though she felt she needed kids to be happy. And her own family was not the loving sort when she was young (she was practically raised by a succession of nannies and housekeepers); what if she became the same kind of mother? Would it be fair to bring young children in the world if that was the case?

But Vicky was determined to have it all, and in her mind that included children. She could still have a great career while being an involved mother. She never failed at anything, and she had no intention of starting now.

"Vicky, hi, come sit down," Richard started as she walked in. He looked nervous, Vicky thought to herself with a smile. She found it cute, usually Richard was always calm and in control, she enjoyed seeing a different side to him. She planned to tease him about it after his proposal.

"You said you wanted to talk about something important," Vicky said as he sat down expectedly.

"Yes, that, well as you know we've been getting more and more serious these last few years," Richard began. "I've been thinking of where things have been heading, I know you have too, so I came to a decision."

"OK," replied Vicky, readying herself for the magic words. Sure this wasn't looking like the most romantic proposal, but Vicky didn't need that mushy stuff anyway. Just get down to business.

"Vicky," Richard said, grabbing her hand as he sat down next to her. "I think we should break up..."

"...Yes, I'll marry you..." Vicky said immediately without really hearing what he said. Slowly, she opened her eyes to a look of horror on Richard's face. Then, his words began to sink in. "Wait...what did you say?"

"Um...yeah, I think we should break up, take some time for ourselves," Richard replied uncomfortably.

"Take some time for ourselves, what does that even mean?" Vicky asked, anger rising. "Time for what, we're both in our mid 30's, in great spots in our career, it's time to get married."

"I...I..." Richard stammered, searching for words. "...don't want to get married, to you."

"Nonsense, you're just going through jitters," Vicky powered on, not really hearing or listening to him anymore. "We're perfect for each other, everyone says so, we're getting married."

"Vicky, I'm seeing someone else," Richard said suddenly. "I'm in love with her, I want to be with her."

"You're what?" Vicky spat out. "After all the work I put into you. Who is she? Do I know her?"

"No, she's a new nurse I met at the hospital," Richard answered. "She's young, bubbly, exciting, I feel alive when I'm with her."

"You feel 'alive!'" Vicky yelled at him. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

"I just connected with her, I'm sorry," Richard continued to try and explain. "But I can't deny my feelings for her, there's a spark there. I'm sorry, I love her; I don't love you."

"You son of a bitch!" Vicky continued. "What, you found a young girl who whispered some sweet nothings in your ear and you're just willing to throw away everything we built, that we worked for? She can't give you what I can; think of all the power and connections you're throwing away!"

"No, she's just a girl from Scranton, but I don't care," Richard said as he got up and walked to the window. "I've never felt like this, Vicky. I have to see where it goes."

"And be honest with me, you've never been in love with me either," Richard continued. "I don't want to live my life like my parents, stuck in a passionless existence. You shouldn't want to either."

"You have no idea what I feel," Vicky replied, but she knew deep down Richard was right on that at least. She didn't love him, but that hadn't concerned her. What was love anyway, some abstract feeling that you couldn't define. And Vicky Mullen never really concerned herself with abstract things.

"So that's it?" Vicky said finally coming to terms. A Mullen didn't beg; let Richard have his fling, he would come back running to her in due time. And then she would really make him pay. "You're making a big mistake, you'll come running back at some point, you better hope I'm still around when you come to your senses."

With that, Vicky got up, grabbed her coat and walked out, barely registering Richard's continued apologies behind her. Once in the hall, she called the firm's car service to take her back to her apartment.

"He'll be back," Vicky mumbled to herself as she poured herself a gin and tonic in her apartment that night. "I'm Vicky Mullen, I always get what I want." With that, she put Richard out of her mind, and focused on her depositions the next day. While she waited, she would just power her way through by focusing on work.

EIGHT MONTHS LATER:

Vicky stared out the window of her high rise office in Center City, the Philadelphia Inquirer wedding announcements section up on her computer. To her horror, she had been alerted to one particular entry. Richard was getting married to his 27-year old nurse. They looked disgustingly happy staring into each other's eyes in the picture, their future lives in front of them. It made Vicky want to vomit, for a number of reasons.

She wasn't used to failing at things, and in such a public setting. It was all the talk in various social circles; how Richard had left her for some middle class girl. Most had been sympathetic to her face, but Vicky knew they were likely snickering at her behind her back in all the country clubs in Montgomery County.

That had begun to die down, now all of it would be dragged up again. Her failure plastered for everyone to see on page C4. Most of the associates were leaving her alone this morning; they were aware enough to know that Ms. Mullen was not to be bothered. There was only one person brave enough to face Vicky's wrath.

"I cleared your schedule this morning," her assistant Rebecca said as she entered the office. "Maybe you should just take the rest of the day for yourself."

"And do what, go shopping?" Vicky said with scorn. She immediately regretted it when she turned to face Rebecca. She had been with the firm for over 30 years, generally serving as the assistant for whoever was deemed the most difficult lawyer to deal with. It was how she was gifted Vicky 5 years ago.

Yet, despite that, they had bonded. Rebecca saw what Vicky was hiding under the outer shell she portrayed to the world. She was smart and successful, yes, but also deeply unhappy and searching for something she probably didn't even realize she wanted. In many ways, Rebecca had come to look at her like another daughter; she suspected Vicky didn't have much of a relationship with her actual mother.

"I'm sorry, Becks," Vicky said with affection. She did feel bad for snapping; besides being a great assistant, she had genuinely grown to like and respect Rebecca. She had worked her way up from the front desk to her current role, was never intimidated by anyone, and still was able to know when a sympathetic ear was needed by her demanding boss. She didn't deserve to be talked down to.

"No biggie, I figured it was going to be one of those days," Rebecca replied with a smile. "Want to talk about it?"

"What's there to say?" Vicky said with a sigh. "He's gone, moved on. I guess I'm just a failure in love. I'm destined to be an old maid."

"Nah, you just have to find the right person, and trust me, he wasn't it," Rebecca replied. "The jerk did you a favor."

"Well, the jerk looks pretty happy in the Inquirer this morning," Vicky said with a humorless laugh.

"Yeah, but looks can be deceiving," Rebecca said consolingly. "Forget about him anyway, you must have any number of eligible bachelors knocking down your door now."

"My parents keep trying to introduce me to people," Vicky replied. "I'm just not ready to go down that road."

"No offense, but don't bother with who they want to set you up with," Rebecca started. "Love isn't a transaction, you have to go out there and find it yourself. But you won't find it sitting in your office and apartment all day. Go out, have some fun. You never know who you might meet."

"Thanks, Becks, how do you always know what to say?" Vicky said with a laugh.

"Lots of experience, you forget I'm raising 3 teenage daughters," Rebecca responded. "I'm well versed in the ways of love."

With that, Vicky's phone rang. She quickly recognized the number, it was her friend Emma. She looked at Rebecca with a smirk on her face.

"Like I said, you need to go out and have some fun," Rebecca smiled. "Pick it up."

"Hi Ems," Vicky said as Rebecca left her office. "What's up?"

"I saw the paper," Emma started quickly. "Fuck him, Vic, fuck him. Let's get you laid tonight. Well drunk first, then laid. You'll forget all about Dr. Mc..."

"Enough with the awful nicknames, we broke up anyway, you won," Vicky interrupted her friend with a laugh. "You want to be my wingman? What will your husband think about that?"

"He won't care, besides he gets a few hours to watch the Flyers game in peace then I'll come home and jump his bones. It's a win-win for him." Emma replied with an evil cackle.

Emma and Vicky grew up together, daughters of powerful fathers that attended all the same schools and classes. But they were quite different. Where Vicky carefully followed the plan her family laid out for her; Emma rebelled early on. She wasn't interested in being a high-powered corporate drone, or a Stepford housewife.

She wanted to travel, to paint, to have passionate love affairs with random French guys. And so she did, all through her 20's, much to the chagrin of her family. Despite their differences, she remained close to Vicky, who lived vicariously through all her friend's adventures. Emma was the only one, other than Rebecca, who could reach Vicky and pull her out of the tightly constructed shell everyone else saw.

Emma had come back from New York a few years ago, new husband in tow. Jack was a sculptor and met Emma in an art gallery in SoHo. They were perfect for each other, and returned to their mutual home to Philly to open their own art gallery. It had become a modest success, but honestly they didn't really care. They were happy just being together with their growing family, without having to depend on her parents' support.

Vicky was happy for her friend, and had grown to like Jack despite being weirded out by the beard and awful jokes at first. He was perfect for Emma, and that's all that mattered to her. Emma wanted the same for Vicky; she knew deep down her friend was unhappy, even if she never admitted it. So after getting the call from Rebecca this morning, she set out to do what only she could: to get Vicky Mullen to let her hair down and have some fun.

"Ok, where do you want to go?" Vicky relented. "There's a great new wine bar near my apartment."

"Wine bar?" Emma replied with scorn. "We're never getting you laid there. There's a place we were just at in South Philly, that's where we need to go."

"South Philly?" Vicky replied with alarm. "I don't want to go to a South Philly dive. We're 15 years too old for a place like that."

"Nonsense, that's where all the hot spots are now, trust me." Emma replied. "Tell you what, we can start at your snooty wine bar, but after a couple drinks you come with me where I want to go. If you hate it, we'll leave. I promise."

"Fine," Vicky said reluctantly. "Only for you Ems..."

"Don't worry, I've got a good feeling you'll be thanking me tomorrow. I'll pick you up at 8." Emma said.

Vicky hung up, and went back to staring out the window. What the hell, she thought, if nothing else I'll have a laugh with Emma. And who knows, maybe I'll run into the next bachelor doctor who'll be a good catch.

Vicky returned to her penthouse a few hours before Emma arrived. It had everything you wanted in an apartment; 3 bedrooms, a full kitchen, beautiful views of the nearby museums and Center City in the distance. But it was missing one thing: any sign of life. And it had felt especially empty with Richard gone; he was rarely here, and far from the life of the party when he was, but at least there was always the possibility of his presence.

Now it was just Vicky, her big apartment, and her two cats. Christ, I'm destined to be a cat lady, she thought with despair. As she was waiting for Richard to come to his senses, her 36th birthday had come and gone. Now, Richard was gone officially, and she was at square one again.

But she shook herself out of her bad thoughts and got dressed for her night on the town with Emma. If nothing else, it would keep her nosy friend off her back for a while.

Vicky didn't want Emma's life; she didn't think she could ever live quite like that. But she was envious of her friend in certain aspects. Emma had a loving husband and two adorable children. Vicky wanted that for herself, and she felt time running out on her. Pretty soon she wouldn't be Philadelphia's most eligible bachelorette, she'd just be a middle-aged woman waiting for the first set of divorces to be finalized.

This was nonsense, of course, because despite her current mood Vicky Mullen was a stunning woman. She had light blonde hair past her shoulders (she zealously guarded her deep dark secret of now needing to color it slightly though) and deep blue eyes anyone could get lost in. She also stayed in shape through yoga and working out; she wasn't model thin, but had healthy womanly curves that would drive any red blooded male crazy.

Still, she had trouble keeping relationships going, as her disaster with Richard (by far her longest) would attest. She often intimidated men; her boyfriends saw her as too intense, too type A. Invariably, they lost interest trying to break through her hardened exterior no matter how beautiful she was. It was much easier to deal with the bubbly sorority girls and vapid socialites.

Vicky searched her closet for the perfect dress, and finally found it in a silver cocktail dress with a plunging neckline (all the better to show off her best assets, her C-cup breasts). She paired it with some silver heels and waited for her friend to arrive.

"You look hot, girl!" Emma said when she arrived. "You'll be beating them off with a stick. You sure you want to waste time at this stupid wine bar?"

"Just for a few drinks, to get warmed up," Vicky replied. She didn't tell her friend this, but Vicky figured she would need to work up her courage to go where Emma wanted to go.

"Ok, fine," Emma relented. "Let's go, I'm finally done nursing so I'm ready to throw back a few."

Vicky laughed at her friend, as always, and they walked the few blocks to the wine bar in her neighborhood. It was filled with the usual mix of high powered businessman, lawyers and doctors, comfortable terrain for Vicky. For Emma, it was torture.

"This place looks like warmed-over death," she moaned. "The alcohol better be good at least."

"Give it a chance, Ems," Vicky laughed. "These are my people."

"No they're not," Emma scoffed. "They're your parents' people, they're my parents' people. There's a crazy girl waiting to come out of you, Vicky Mullen. I've spent the better part of 30 years trying to unlock her, and I will if it's the last thing I do, I promise you that."

"Good luck," Vicky snickered, bumping her friend's shoulder. "Go find a seat, first rounds on me."

"All rounds are you," Emma cackled, looking at the bar. "Well at least the bartender's hot. He may be the only thing worth staring at in this funeral parlor. He's definitely staring at you too." Emma added with a wink as she turned toward a corner booth.

Vicky laughed as she walked toward the bar; her friend was nuts. The bartender was certainly cute, with floppy brown hair and big brown eyes, but he couldn't be more than what, 21 or 22? Certainly not someone Vicky would be interested in.

But as she got closer, she realized Emma was right in one respect, he was definitely checking her out. Vicky blushed, and briefly thought of going to the older bartender on the other side. But, what the hell, she thought. A little harmless flirting won't hurt anyone.

"I'll have a gin and tonic, and a cosmo for my friend," Vicky said with her best smile.

"I don't see a lot of pretty women like you order a gin and tonic?" the bartender replied with a laugh.

"Why, because it's a man's drink?" Vicky retorted, as she immediately put her wall back up.

"No, it's kind of no one's drink anymore," the bartender said with a smile. "I didn't mean to offend you. I wish more people would order gin, it's great. Everyone here orders these fancy fruity drinks that are beneath my talents as a mixologist."

"Oh, you're a mixologist," Vicky said with scorn. "I'm sure you went to the finest schools for that..." with that Vicky stopped herself. Why was she being such a bitch to this guy? And why hadn't she scared him away, why was he still looking at her with that same smile?"