When You Know Ch. 06

"OK," his Dad said skeptically. "I hope you're right."

"I have to do it Dad, I have to," Joe said earnestly. "Vicky won't respect me if I don't; her parents definitely won't. Hopefully, after this we can pick up where we left off."

"Three years is a long time, son," his father replied. "You can't expect her to wait for you."

"I know, but there's always hope right?" Joe said. "That's the only thing that will get me through this."

Ken gave his son a hug. "You know I want nothing but the best for you. I'll be praying everything works out, that you get everything you want. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Dad," Joe said softly.

"Annie, come up here and say goodbye to Joe, he's leaving," his Dad called to Annie in the living room.

"No, I don't want him to go," came the voice from downstairs. "He can't until he says goodbye to me, so I won't let him say it."

"It doesn't work that way kid," her Dad replied.

"Fine," Annie said as she walked up the stairs. "You're an idiot, you know that?" she said to Joe as she walked into his bedroom.

"I'll miss you too, sis," Joe replied with a chuckle.

"Both you and Vicky are," Annie said, getting going and not thinking about what she was saying. "It's like I just told her...."

"Wait..." Joe interrupted. "Told her? You talked to Vicky?"

"Um, no..." Annie tried to cover.

"You just said..." Joe started.

"OK fine, yes, I talked to her," Annie said. "We've talked a lot these last three months. She's my friend too, my sister. Just because you're being an idiot doesn't mean I have to stop speaking to her."

"You shouldn't be bothering her, Annie," her Dad responded before Joe could. "She has to move on with her life too."

"I don't, she calls me, at least once a week, mostly to check on Joe," Annie replied.

"She calls you?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, she calls me her little 'spy,'" Annie said with a laugh. "She wanted to see how you were doing, but she didn't want to bother you."

"Sounds like Vicky," Joe said sadly. But was this a sign; that she couldn't let go? Would she be OK if he stayed? He looked at his father, who immediately read his son's mind.

"I can't tell you what it means son," Ken said. "You have to figure that out yourself."

"Call her Joe, tell her that you can't live without her," his sister pleaded him.

"Life doesn't work that way," Joe replied. "We don't live in a romance novel."

"Ugh, I'm sick of hearing life doesn't work that way," Annie yelled. "It should...why can't it?"

"It just can't," her brother replied, unable to come up with a better answer.

"See, you can't answer why either. Just like she can't," Annie replied with a snort. "Tell him Dad; tell him he's an idiot."

"Give your brother a hug and say goodbye, dear," was all Ken said, even though he knew his daughter was making more than a few good points. "We can't make those decisions for him anymore."

"Bye, you big dumb idiot," Annie said as she hugged Joe tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too sis," Joe said. "Thanks for always having my back."

On the train ride back into the city, Joe thought long and hard over what to do. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to call Vicky. She was just checking up on him, he reasoned. It didn't mean she wanted him to drop everything and run back to her. No, she wouldn't respect that, and it would be a wedge that would destroy them anyway if he stayed.

Two days later, Joe was on his firm's top floor conference room, which provided stunning views of Manhattan. The firm was holding a going away party for the members of the program, who were leaving from JFK for Heathrow that evening. Everyone was mingling and talking, excited about the coming adventure. Except for Joe, who kept staring out the south facing windows, down the Hudson River and out past the Statue of Liberty in the distance. Staring out toward Philadelphia, as if he could see it; as if he could see his Vicky.

Joe did this a lot at the end of each day; he often came up here to stare out these very windows, as if looking for a sign. Philadelphia was only about 80 miles away, but it felt a million miles further when Joe thought about it in these moments.

One person saw him doing this, had seen him doing this on several occasions. He went over to talk with him.

"How are you doing, Joe?" Mr. Reynolds asked his mentee. "You stare out these windows a lot, have you found the answer you're looking for?"

"Well," Joe said sadly. "I know the answer already, but it's not something I can make happen."

"You're still thinking of her, aren't you?" he asked Joe. David was well aware of Joe's relationship with Vicky; how they broke up so he could take this job. He hoped Joe would snap out of it, that the excitement of a new adventure in London would take his mind off what he had given up. But it wasn't happening.

David liked Joe, a lot. He thought he was the smartest one in the program; the one who would make the most out of this. But only if he had his full attention on it; otherwise it would be a waste of everyone's time. And in this moment, David Reynolds realized Joe never would be able to do that. So he decided to make him an offer.

"Listen, Joe," he started. "I think you have a bright future, and I want this firm to be part of it. But you're never going to be of use to us if you have half your brain, and all your heart, in Philadelphia. I think we need to figure out something else for you."

"What about London?" Joe replied.

"You don't want to go to London, Joe," David replied simply. "And I don't want to send you there. Heck, I've even talked with my wife about you recently. She loves your story; I have her begging me not to send you away from Vicky."

"But, it's a great opportunity..." Joe started.

"Yes, it is," David replied. "But not the right one for you. It's about time we admitted that and find what that right one is; something that will allow you to stay with Vicky."

"Is that possible?" Joe said, eyes widening.

"Yes, for people we like, who we think are smart and will be great assets," David said. "We have offices in Washington, where we handle a lot of government work. Or you could stay in New York. We've even had discussions of starting a satellite office in Philly. Maybe you could be a part of that; the pay probably won't be as high as if you finished this program, but it would still be enough for you to live a good life."

"Besides," David continued. "It might work out better for us as well. So many of the people who go through the program are lured away by other firms after their commitment is up in a few years; we train you, but they take advantage of it. We've lost a lot of really talented people; you're one of those people too, someone we don't want to lose. Maybe this way, if we make you happy in life, you'll be more willing to commit your future to us long term."

Joe thought of what Vicky would say to all this, or her parents. Would they be OK with him turning this down? No, he thought sadly, they would look at this as him chickening out, of blowing a great opportunity to take an OK one. 'Not Mullen material', how many times had he heard that from Vicky's father?

"I don't think I can sir," Joe told him sadly. "Vicky will look at it as though I'm not tough enough, strong enough. So will her parents."

"Look, Joe, I've been married 25 years," David started. "And I can tell you my wife has never thought it a bad thing for me to try to balance my life with my work. It's not always easy, but I do it the best I can, and she loves me for it. If Vicky loves you, if she truly does, she only wants you. She won't care about your job, no matter what she told you."

"But her parents will, and I can't come between her and them," Joe started.

"She will choose you over her parents every time, Joe," David replied. "There's no bigger force than love. Besides, it's not like you'll be in the poor house here, I'm sure we can find you something that works for everyone."

"So, what are you saying?" Joe asked.

"I'm saying get out of here, and get your butt down to Philadelphia," David replied with a smile. "Go get the girl back, we can talk next week."

Joe didn't need any more convincing; Mr. Reynolds' words served as a final capper on what he always knew but tried to bury. What Annie always tried to tell him...and his Dad in his own way. What he imagined his Mom would tell him if she were here: "Go get the girl back."

He rushed to say his goodbyes to those going to London; they were all thrilled for him. Everyone is a sucker for romance. Then he made his way quickly to Penn Station and the first train back to Elmwood Park. He needed one thing from home before heading to Philadelphia.

"Dad, Annie, you here?" he called out as he ran into the living room.

"In the kitchen, son," his father called out. "Shouldn't you be over Long Island by now?"

"I'm not going Dad," Joe said with a smile. "I'm going to Philly, to get Vicky back."

"I knew you would!" Annie said, running in and leaping to hug him. "I'm so happy for you!"

"I am too, son," his father smiled. "I think you're doing the right thing. But what about the job?"

"They're willing to work with me to find something that fits me better," Joe replied. "But, right now, I need to get into the safe deposit box at the bank. I still have a few minutes, the bank closes at 5."

"No the bank closes at 4, son, what do you need in there?"

"I need the ring Dad...Mom's ring," he said dejectedly. "I don't want to wait until tomorrow, there has to be a way to get it."

Ken laughed when he heard that. "That ring, huh? Yeah, I figured you might. I took it out a few weeks ago, and put it in the safe upstairs. I was about to take it back after you left the other day, but I decided to hold on to it for a little bit longer."

"You did?" Joe smiled back at him. "How did you..."

"When you know, you know," Ken said with a broad grin. "Go get it, take my car and get the hell out of here. Call us when you get a chance and let us know what happened."

Joe retrieved the ring box from the safe, and prepared to leave for Philly, for Vicky. Before he did though, his father stopped him.

"You remember what Mom said, right?" he asked his son. "What she wanted you to say?"

"Every word, Dad," he promised.

"Then my work here is done," Ken said, hugging Joe a final time. "I'd wish you good luck, but I know you won't need it."

"Wish it anyway," Joe said nervously.

"Good luck son," Ken replied. "But you won't need it. When you..."

"I get it," Joe laughed. "I think we need a new go-to phrase..."

"Maybe, but a very smart woman I know in Philly once told me it should be our family motto," Ken said with a smile. "And it's never let me down before."

Joe drove south to Philadelphia, but not to Vicky's at first. He needed to make another stop, to her parents' house. He was going to ask their permission a final time. But, this time, if he didn't get the answer he was looking for, he was going to tell them he no longer cared. He was going to do what he wanted, what he hoped their daughter wanted, whether they liked it or not.

Henry and Caroline were sitting down to dinner that Friday evening. Caroline had just come back from a charity function in Florida that afternoon. Henry was still struggling to figure out a way to explain his conversation with their daughter to her.

"I saw Vicky the other day," Henry started. "She's still quite upset, over Joe."

"She just needs time," Caroline answered. "She'll be upset for a while, but she'll move on like always."

"I don't think so, dear," Henry replied. "In fact..."

He was interrupted by their housekeeper, telling them someone was here to see them, it was Joe.

"Send him in," Henry immediately said, an astonished smile forming on his face. Maybe he should trust fate more, he thought to himself.

"What's going on?" Caroline asked, seeing her husband's face. "Why are you smiling?"

"Just wait, dear," he said. "We need to hear him out."

Joe walked in shortly thereafter. Now that he was here, he suddenly lost his words. All three just stared at each other for a moment. Henry broke the silence.

"Joe, this is an unexpected visit, I thought you were on your way to London?" he asked.

"I'm not going, I'm staying here," Joe finally said. "I worked it out with the firm."

"That's a big opportunity you're giving up son," Henry replied.

"They are going to find me something else," Joe answered. "Something close by...they want to work with me, they believe in me, like Vicky does. Unlike the two of you."

"Now Joe, that's not fair..." Caroline started.

"Let him speak Caroline," Henry interjected. "Go on, Joe."

"I'm asking Vicky to marry me tonight," Joe said firmly. "I would like your blessing. But this time, I'm also telling you that it doesn't matter to me if you give it or not, I'm asking her either way."

"Well, if it doesn't matter, why ask us?" Caroline replied. "It's because you know it does matter. That Vicky won't marry you if we say no."

"No, it's not that at all," Joe shot back. "Vicky will say yes, she loves me. But I want to give you the chance to give your blessing, so that we can all be a family, not estranged."

"Vicky would never cut us out..." Caroline started, but was stopped again by Henry. "Let me handle this Car," he told her, using a pet name he hadn't said for many years. The look in his eyes stopped his wife in her tracks.

"It's never been about your status to me, Joe," Henry started. "Or your job, despite my comments I really don't give a damn what you do, as long as you can take care of my daughter. To the extent she needs anyone to take care of her."

"I can," Joe said with confidence. "We would take care of each other, that's what couples do."

"It's your age, Joe," Henry said. "You're only 25, don't you want to be free of any responsibilities and enjoy your life? I worry you're going to realize this in a few years, and then it'll be too late."

"I've had to grow up quickly, sir," Joe told him. "My mother died when I was 18, and I had to help pick up the shattered pieces of my father, and an 11-year old girl who needed guidance I was not remotely qualified to give at the time. But I made it work, and we all survived, thrived even. I haven't been free of responsibilities for a long time. And I don't want to be free of them."

"I just want your daughter," Joe continued. "Whatever comes our way, I just want her; she makes me happy. I'm not going anywhere; I could never find anything better. After everything that's happened to me, I know you have to hang on to those you love, to never let go. I know that with certainty."

"Vicky portrays herself as tough, in control," Henry said. "But she's very, very sad right now, broken even. She quit her job, gave up the full partnership and everything."

"What?" Joe and Caroline both said at the same time, shocked.

"And that is my fault, Joe," Henry powered through their shock. "I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of you, but I wasn't. I see that now. You have to help me fix her; make her happy again. I can't do it, her mother can't do it; her job can't do it. Only you can."

"Henry, what are you saying..." his wife asked perplexed.

"We have to get out of these kids' way," Henry told her. "Your father finally did, after I made a speech much like this young man just did. And a few days ago, Vicky sounded an awful lot like you did almost 40 years ago speaking to your father."

"It's a totally different situation," Caroline replied.

"No its not, not really," Henry said. "It took me a while to see it, but I do now."

"So you're saying what?" Joe asked.

"I'm saying don't you have somewhere else to be?" Henry replied with a smirk. "It won't be easy, my daughter is a Mullen, and it's hard to convince her she's wrong when she thinks she's right."

"I'll do my best," Joe answered, still slightly confused. Was this her father's blessing? He was going to treat it as such, since he was afraid to ask for more clarification. He turned to leave, but Henry stopped him one last time.

"Joe, my daughter is afraid, not just of the job," he said cryptically. "There's something else holding her back. Only she can tell you that, but you have to convince her not to worry about it. Be a Mullen tonight; don't take no for an answer, even if she gives it to you over and over again. And if you need assistance with your job, finding something you truly want, let me know if I can help."

"I will, sir, thanks," Joe told him. He then quickly left before Mr. Mullen changed his mind.

"Henry?" his wife asked when Joe was gone. "What's going on?"

"She wants him, she's just afraid," Henry replied. "I can't stand in their way anymore, we can't. She'll never forgive us."

"Over time she would," Caroline answered. "There's nothing that happened that we couldn't fix ourselves."

"She's pregnant, Car," Henry said simply. "She'll never talk to us, never let us be in the baby's life, if we try to stop this. She promised me as much a few days ago."

"Pregnant? Oh, Henry!" Caroline exclaimed. "That does change everything...a grandchild? I've wanted one for so long; I couldn't bear that, not being around, we know how tough that is."

"Yes, that's why we need to let it play out now," Henry said as he grabbed her hand. "We have to support them. She's chosen him, loves him despite all the odds stacked against it. And if nothing else he's a good young man who loves her right back. We tried to dismiss that before, but isn't that what we always should have wanted?"

Of course, I want her to be happy; I just wanted her to have the best life possible," Caroline replied, head in her hands as she replayed all her awful actions over the years. She was able to justify them in the moment, but with sudden clarity all those reasons were washed away.

"Will she forgive us?" Caroline continued, worried. "I was so terrible to them, like my own mother. There are so many things I want a second chance on, with her and the baby."

"We can only hope," Henry responded with a frown. "All our hopes rest on him; if he convinces her, we have a chance. If not, she'll blame us forever." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Emma brought Vicky back to her apartment after the doctor's appointment. Everything looked good so far with the baby, the ultrasound showed no abnormalities. It was too early to determine the baby's sex, but Vicky didn't want to know anyway at this point. In many ways, it was still a far off idea, almost unbelievable. And she still hadn't come to grips with the idea of doing this without Joe.

Vicky stared out the window when they returned, up toward New York. She did this quite a lot, she realized.

"What are you looking for?" Emma asked, though she knew the answer. "He can't see you from here, you know."

"I know, but I still look all the time," Vicky replied. "He's probably getting ready to board that plane now as we speak, Ems."

"Look Vic, you know what I think right?" Emma started. "I think you should tell him everything, and stop him from leaving. Jump on the freaking runway in front of that plane if you have to."

"It's too late," Vicky replied sadly.

"It's not, but it will be soon," her friend told her. "If you're not going to tell him, well then you have to let him go, and move on with your life. Your baby's going to need you, all your focus. You can't be pining for something that's unavailable."

"I know," Vicky said. "Starting now, I'm doing just that."

"Sure you don't want to come over for dinner?" Emma asked. "You can watch my two brats for a while. It will be good practice, and help take your mind off that damned plane."

"No, I want to read more, maybe I'll talk to this little one in me, like the books say to do," Vicky said.