When You Know Ch. 06

"Good to see you're becoming crazy like me," Emma laughed. "OK, call me if you need anything."

Emma left, and Vicky said down on her couch for a few moments. She did need something to take her mind off that damned plane. She felt strange doing this, but maybe it would help.

"I know all these books I'm reading say you can't hear me quite yet," Vicky said toward her stomach. "But it's not like I have anyone else to talk with right now. They say eventually as you grow in there it will be good for you to hear the sound of my voice and bond to it. Who knows, it's worth a shot."

"I'm not sure what to call you though, a boy's name or a girl's name?" she continued. "I'll just call you baby; I like that term, I only call really special people that. Anyway, I want to tell you a few things, make a few promises. You are now the #1 thing in my life baby, and from the minute you pop out of here until the moment I'm gone from this world, I will be utterly devoted to you and your happiness."

"We'll probably argue at times, it would be impossible not to with me," she laughed. "But I'll never do to you what my parents did to me; I'll never force you to be anything. My job is to help guide you to find your own way, to make your own happiness. For that, I will do whatever I have to."

"If you really are hearing me, I'm sorry, for chasing your Daddy away," Vicky told her unborn child sadly. "I promise you he's not out of your life forever; I will tell him soon when the time is right. From the moment he sees you baby, he will be utterly devoted to you as well, even if he hates me for keeping you from him for a little bit. Even if you end up hating me for that. Then, you'll also meet Grandpa Ken and your Aunt Annie; they're wonderful people, the best I know. You'll be lucky to have them."

"I hate this too, but I have to do it, keeping your Daddy away from you. He's kind, loving, smart...brilliant, even if he doesn't fully know it. Everything I never realized I wanted, but now he's all I want, along with you of course. But I can't have him right now, we can't have him right now. We have to share him with the world first, because he's going to change it in so many good ways my sweet baby. But only if we let him."

"In the meantime, you'll have special people in your life, people like Aunt Emma and Uncle Jack, and their kids who will be your lifelong friends I'm sure, just like their mom and me. And we'll have other people looking over our shoulder, like your Grandma Olivia, Daddy's mommy. I never met her, but I know she'll keep watch over us until her family down here can take over for her."

"I can't wait to meet you baby," Vicky finished, beginning to cry. "You make my life so much better, you help keep the sadness from overcoming me. I hope you look like your Daddy and get all the best parts of him. He's a much better person than I am, but you're stuck with only me for a while. I promise I won't let you down."

With that, the doorbell rang. Vicky's heart didn't skip this time; Joe was already on a plane to England she sadly realized. She trudged to the door, wondering if her father was coming back to argue again.

When she opened the door, her heart did skip; it did more than that, it soared.

"Hi," Joe said with a nervous smile. "Please let me in, I have things I need to say, and I'm not leaving until I say them."

Vicky stepped aside wide eyed, and waited for Joe to say something as he came inside.

"First, your 'spy' Annie says hi...you've been checking up on me?" he said with a smirk. "And you quit your job? You didn't do that for me, did you?"

"No, I did it for me," Vicky replied. "You were right though, about everything. I just want to be happy, and I wasn't at the firm."

"Well at least you're finally listening to me," he answered. "You need to listen to me some more."

"Is that why you're here, because you heard I quit my job?" Vicky said, figuring someone at his firm told him. "I thought you were on a plane to London tonight?"

"I'm not going to London, not tonight, tomorrow, or ever," Joe started. "I'm staying here, whether you like it or not."

"Joe, we talked about this..." Vicky started, even as half her brain screamed at her to jump in his arms and never let go.

"Shut up, OK, just shut up for once in your life and let me finish," Joe said, voice rising. "I'm serious, not a word until I've said everything I came here to say."

"OK..." she said.

"That was a word," he replied, and they both chuckled briefly. Then suddenly, he dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled out a jewelry box, large enough to fit a ring.

For once in her life, Vicky was truly speechless. She only wanted to hear what Joe said now.

"This ring..." he started, opening the box to reveal a tiny diamond ring. "...was my mother's. It was the first engagement ring my father gave her when he proposed. He didn't have much money at the time; the jeweler felt bad for him and gave him this for a few bucks. It's small, and the diamond has flaws."

"Dad was embarrassed by this ring, of not being able to afford more for Mom," he continued. "After they had been married a few years and had some money, he got her a nicer ring to replace it. But my Mom still treasured this ring; she made it into a necklace and always wore it. She said it was the most important piece of jewelry she owned, that it was our family heirloom."

"That's beautiful," Vicky said through tears. Her family had lots of heirlooms, but none had as much meaning as that simple little ring, she realized.

"You promised no words," he said. He quickly turned sad as he told the rest of the story.

"When she was sick, really sick, at the end," Joe said through tears. "She gave me this ring. It was one of the last conversations she was able to have before the pain got to be too much. She told me when I found the woman I wanted to marry, I should give her this ring, along with my engagement ring, and give that woman a message from her. Well, I don't have the engagement ring yet, so I'm going to use this tiny ring for two purposes tonight."

Vicky watched stunned as Joe pulled the ring out and grabbed her left hand to put it on. Smiling, she let him, and he began to speak again as he placed it on her left ring finger.

"Perfect fit, amazing," he smiled and she laughed. "Ok, here goes," he said taking a long breath to steady himself. "Vicky, this ring represents my mother giving us her blessing to get married. Even though you can never meet her, it's your proof that she has taken you into her heart as her daughter, from this moment on. She'll always be watching over you, like she is the rest of my family. Because you're her family now too."

"Jobs come and go, I can find them whenever. But I can't find another you; you're perfect. So, Vicky, will you marry me?"

Vicky was momentarily elated, this was everything she wanted. Joe had come back to her, not out of obligation but because he wanted her. But her fears were still there; she still worried Joe was acting rashly, compulsively, without thinking, doing something he'd come to regret.

"Say something, Vic, please," he pleaded below her.

"I can't Joe, I'm sorry..." she cried, taking the ring off and fleeing to the other side of the room.

Joe slumped for a few seconds, then got up and started again. He was going to be a Mullen tonight, like her father said. He wasn't leaving until he got the answer he wanted.

"No, I don't accept your answer," Joe said, making his way to her. "You love me, I know you do."

"Of course, Joe, I love you," Vicky replied. "But it's not that simple..."

"It is, it really freaking is, Vic!" Joe insisted. "Nothing else matters, when you know, you know."

"But your job, I can't be the reason you pass that up..." Vicky started.

"I talked to Mr. Reynolds, about how miserable I was," Joe replied. "He agreed, working in London wasn't the best idea for me. They like me, they want to see me happy. He said he would find something else for me, close by."

"Really?" she said. Joe must have really made an impression on them to offer that. She wasn't surprised; like she told Billy that night at the bar, he had a way of doing that to people, of burrowing into their hearts. Mr. Reynolds was just another in a long list of them, starting with her of course.

"Joe, I still don't know..." Vicky sobbed. No matter how much they liked him, they probably couldn't find something as perfect for him as the London program. He'd probably end up with the same job she had, corporate law in some big office. He'd hate that, she knew. "...the London job was so perfect for you, what if they can't find a fit as good?"

"It doesn't matter, then I'll find something else. I have my whole life to worry about it," Joe replied. "Even your father said he would try to help me."

"My father?" Vicky was shocked as she realized how Joe found out about her job. "When did you talk to my father?"

"Before I got here," Joe said. "I went to their house and told him, both of them, I was doing this and asked for their blessing. But I told them I was still doing this even if they said no. I'm done trying to please them."

"What did he say?" she asked intrigued.

"He gave me his blessing...well I think he did, he never actually used those words," Joe said with a quizzical laugh. "But he told me that all he wanted was for you to be happy, and that he now realized only I could give that to you."

"Joe, I'm still scared, I'm really scared..." Vicky started.

"Is this about the other thing, your father mentioned it to me," Joe asked. "That you're scared about?"

"He told you?" Vicky said, eyes wide open in alarm. Did Joe know, was he only here because of that, she suddenly worried?

"Not what it was, he said only you could tell me," Joe explained, scared by the look she just gave him. "But he said it was holding you back. Tell me Vic, nothing you can say will drive me away now."

"Nothing?" she asked, beginning to sob.

"Well, unless you told me you really were seeing Richard again now," he said anxiously. "For the love of Christ, tell me it's not that."

"You really are an idiot if you think that's it," she replied. "Of course not."

"Then what, nothing else could possibly matter," he said, falling to his knees and hugging her waist. "You want to marry me, I know you do. Just say yes, Vic."

"I just don't want to be the one, want us to be ones, who hold you back!" she cried, grabbing him and pulling his head into her stomach.

"How could you hold me back?" he asked, puzzled. Then her words hit him, and where she had pulled him. He looked up at her with those big brown puppy dog eyes she loved so much, brimming with tears. "Us?" he choked out.

"I'm pregnant, I'm having your baby, Joe!" she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did, and now you probably hate me."

"No, Vic, I don't hate you," Joe looked up at her in awe then kissed her stomach, all over her stomach. "This is wonderful! I'm so happy, I'm so happy!" he cried repeatedly as he did.

"I don't want you to stay because you feel you have to now," she cried.

"No, I want to stay for you, to be with you," he smiled. "This is just icing on the cake, wonderful icing. Now you can't possibly get rid of me."

"I can't do this without you Joe, I don't want to," she said, continuing to stroke his head and finally surrendering to what she wanted, what she needed.

"You won't, I'm here, I'll always be here," he promised her as he kissed her belly some more. "My baby, our baby," he whispered.

"Joe?" Vicky said, grabbing his face in her hands with a bright smile, the biggest one in months. "Ask me again, I'm ready now."

He smiled back at her, and went across the room to retrieve the ring. "OK, take two," he chuckled, getting into position again and placing his mother's ring back on her finger.

"Victoria Alexandra Mullen, will you do me the honor of having me as your husband?"

"Yes! Yes!" she squealed. "A thousand times, yes! I would love to be your wife!"

Joe scooped her up and kissed her passionately. He spun her around the room a few times in his arms.

"Easy, I'll get dizzy," she joked. "The baby will get dizzy."

"Oh," he said, putting her down and full of concern. "I don't want to do anything to upset the baby."

"You can't possibly," she beamed at him. "Daddy is here, this little one is over the moon right now."

A few hours later, Joe and Vicky lay in bed holding each other, as they had almost every night they were together since his graduation. It had been a whirlwind night, with happy phone calls to Rebecca and Emma, to Ken and Annie, even to Vicky's parents, which she did reluctantly at Joe's urging.

Her father seemed genuinely happy for them, even her mother expressed her congratulations on the engagement and baby. They both also expressed regret for how they acted, and promised to only be supportive of them now. She wasn't ready to completely let them back in, but maybe the door wasn't permanently shut anymore.

Vicky lay on her side, as Joe continued to rub her stomach in wonder as he spooned her. He couldn't stop doing that, and she never wanted him to stop now. She kept looking at his mother's ring, still on her finger. She stared at it, and looked at it from different angles.

"I promise, I'll get you a nicer one," Joe said from behind her as he watched her eye the tiny ring. "This whole thing happened so fast I didn't have time."

"Don't you dare, Joe Chambers," she said, turning her head to look him in the eyes. "This is the only ring I ever want, I love it."

"You sure?" he asked. "Wouldn't you rather wear a nicer one? You could wear that one like my mom did, as a necklace."

"No, I only want this one, it's priceless to me," Vicky replied. "It was to your mother too, she was just being nice to your dad, making him feel better. She would have worn this ring on her finger forever if it was up to her."

"And you know that how?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I just know, I can feel it," Vicky responded. As she told the baby earlier, she already felt like Olivia Chambers was watching over her. After what happened tonight she was now sure of it, and she felt an unbreakable kinship with this woman she had never met, but who had given her so much. She had given Vicky her one true love, and now she was never letting him go.

"Have you thought of baby names yet?" Joe asked. "What do you like for a boy and what do you like for a girl?"

"I have an idea on what name to give her, but let's talk about that later baby," she said. "We have all the time in the world now."

"Her?" he asked, confused. "I thought you said they couldn't tell the sex yet."

"I can feel it now," she replied looking up at the ceiling. "I just know. And when you know, you know."

SIX MONTHS LATER Time went quickly for Joe Chambers, in no time he found himself in a delivery room holding his wife Vicky's hand as she gave birth to their first child. She was currently in the process of breaking three of his fingers as she screamed in pain, but Joe gritted his teeth and allowed her painful squeeze to continue.

They had been officially married three months ago. It was not the high society event of the year in Southeastern Pennsylvania, just a quiet ceremony for family and friends in North Jersey, near Ken's house. It wasn't a small affair because it was a "shotgun wedding," as Emma continually joked, but because that's how Vicky and Joe wanted it.

No one even was upset over missing out on a lavish wedding, even Vicky's mom. OK, maybe Caroline was a little disappointed, but she was trying her best to ignore these instincts. She wanted to be there for her daughter now, and her grandchild, in a way her mother was never there for her. And in a way she was never there for Vicky growing up; as long as you still were breathing it's never too late to change.

To be honest, Vicky remained very wary of allowing her parents back into her life completely, but Joe continued to encourage her to let the past go. He knew there would be a hole in his wife's life, and her heart, if she cut her parents out. Joe also wanted his child to know all their living grandparents, since the baby already had lost one grandmother before ever being born.

He knew they would never allow her parents to do anything to negatively impact the baby; so as long as they were showing genuine effort to change their ways he was willing to forgive.

It was not easy, they were all still Mullens, stubborn to the bone, but her parents were finally committed to building the right relationship with their daughter. Both for themselves, and for the baby; they wanted to put the past behind them and focus on giving the newest generation of the family the right start.

Once the baby was born and settled in, Vicky planned to teach; Joe had introduced her to some of his professors at Temple, and they were looking for someone to teach business law, part time first but with the promise of a tenured position down the road. She was already planning out her lessons; her first students wouldn't know what hit them.

Joe was working most days out of the Washington office, taking the early Amtrak train down each morning; he wanted to spend every night with Vicky, especially as the pregnancy progressed. He was learning a lot about politics, and finding he enjoyed being involved in his firm's quest for a cleaner environment. They thought of moving to Washington, but both wanted to be as close to friends and family as they could right now, especially with the baby coming. His father-in-law already hoped a future in politics was in store for Joe, even if he was a Democrat. Henry dropped the idea immediately once he saw his daughter glaring at him icily when he casually brought it up one night. But there was plenty of time for that talk anyway down the road, Henry figured. Finally for Henry, Joe was a Mullen now too, whether the young man fully realized it yet or not.

Everyone was at the hospital this night, waiting for news in the waiting room: Vicky's parents, Joe's dad and sister, Rebecca, Emma and her family. Joe had been out there an hour ago to update them on things, and walked right into a heated conversation between his sister and Emma over who got to be godmother.

Joe told them they could each be the godmother, then left to return to the relative peace of his screaming wife. This baby would be loved, but it was going to be loved by a bunch of crazy people, he laughed to himself. But he wouldn't want it any other way.

"AHH-AHHHH," his wife screamed out a few minutes later, grabbing his hand again like a vice. "I can't believe I let you do this to me! Never again, Joe, never again!"

"OK, whatever you want Vic," he replied soothingly, trying to calm her.

"What, you don't want more? I want more, at least one maybe two," she immediately contradicted herself and squeezed his hand even tighter. "She's going to want to be a big sister, I know it."

"Whatever you want Vic," he moaned out again through his own pain.

"OK, one more big push Vicky; I see the head, this is it," she heard her doctor call out.

"Come on, Vic, one more you can do it babe," Joe encouraged.

"NGHHHHHH----" Vicky cried out and made one last great push, feeling the baby begin to come out. There was silence for a brief moment, then the wonderful sound of a baby crying. Joe kissed his wife's hand as he leaned up to see his first born child for the very first time.

Back in the waiting room, everyone was enduring Round 2 of the Emma vs. Annie "Who's the Godmother" fight, when they all saw Joe making his way towards them, a tired but happy smile on his face.

"So, tell us?" Annie and Emma yelled out at the same time as he approached, their fight forgotten already.

"It's a girl!" he said happily. "7 pounds, 6 ounces!"