Where to Find Love Ch. 05

I stand before the mirror. I'm wearing a long red dress. The dress ends just under my knees but has a cut in the middle beginning halfway down. The dress also splits in two just above my waist, revealing part of my belly, and crosses above my breasts, leaving a rather pleasant view of the inner sides of my breasts, after which it comes together again behind my neck. Although most of my boobs are covered, I am a bit ashamed that I only now realize that this is the least revealing dress I have. The thought of lending one from Ellen crossed my mind, but they would all be too small at the waist, and definitely around the chest area. I finish up the last of my make-up and sigh a little from nervousness. It isn't just the first time I'll go on a date with someone I have met on the internet. It is also the first time I'll go to a restaurant for a first date. Most of my boyfriends that I met in the past were during parties. And that party should also be considered the first date since more than once the night ended in bed with the guy in question. Today, I thought about what I could say if the conversation with Julian will turn silent. It's strange, since normally that isn't something that keeps me busy. I look in the mirror. I decide I'm ready and go downstairs.

"How do I look?" I ask Ellen.

"If miss universe walks in, you'll still be the most beautiful girl," Ellen replies.

"Really?" I ask. And I spin around.

"Oh, stop showing off," Ellen says jokingly. "You look amazing and you know it." I smile.

"Let's go," I say. It's a quarter past six and I decide to get going. I had first planned on calling a taxi, but Ellen didn't mind driving me with her car. The drive passes by slowly, but when we arrive it is still 15 minutes early. I wait in the car for a little while before stepping out and going inside. It is rather cold, so I certainly wasn't going to wait outside. I look around. Although this isn't a star restaurant, it still looks very classy.

"Are you miss Sara?" the host of the restaurant asks. I nod. "A man named Julian is waiting for you at a table. Shall I bring you to him?" I nod again. "Please follow me." I follow him and soon see the engineer named Julian standing up from his chair.

"Good evening," he says.

"Hello, nice to meet you," I reply. We give each a kiss on the cheek.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sara," he says while the both of us sit down. "Have you been here before?"

"Can't say I have," I reply. "You?" I ask, throwing the question back at him.

"I have. The food is pretty good here. It's not a three-star restaurant, but at least they don't charge you 50 euros for a bottle of water," I laugh, albeit a bit forced. Luckily, I notice Julian seems to appreciate it. "You look absolutely amazing," he says. For a moment I can see his eyes going to my chest. I don't mind. I paid attention to him a moment ago when he saw me the first time and he managed to keep his eyes locked on mine. He earned his look. I don't like men staring at me, especially during greetings. But for the rest of the time, the cut is there for a reason.

"Thank you," I say smiling. A second later a waiter shows up at our table.

"Welcome to the Astrance. My name is Xavier. Can I get you something to drink?"

"A negroni for me please," I ask.

"For me a glass of rosé please." Julian orders.

"Thank you," the waiter says. "I'll be right back with your drinks."

Both me and Julian thank him and we decide to start checking the menu. I look at Julian for a moment. His hair has the same black colour as Ellen. He isn't very handsome. His ears seem too big for his head, while his lips are too thin. He seems to have almost no facial hair either, not even a stubble, which I find weird. His eyes are very beautiful though. A deep, green color which match well with his black hair. For a moment I think about how much more handsome Alex is. Although I hate the guy now, I can't go around that simple fact. "What do you think," Julian asks. "Meat or fish? Or something else?"

"Uhm, don't know," I look at the menu. I hope he didn't notice me staring. "I generally prefer meat over fish." My eyes go over the menu. The waiter arrives with our drinks.

"Here you go," he says while putting the drinks on our table. "Are you ready to order?"

"I think I'll go for a chateaubriand steak," Julian says to the waiter.

"Hm, I think I'll take the same," I add. We both give our menu cards to the waiter who thanks us and takes off. A silence falls over the table for a moment. I decide to start talking about his job. It's a normal question which one can talk about for a fair amount of time. We manage to fill the time waiting for our food with talking about work. While we eat, the conversation continues smoothly. We talk about funny moments at work and, to a lesser extent, about our whole lives. When we finish eating and are sipping from a second round of drinks, the conversation becomes a bit more personal when Julian asks me why a girl looking like me made a profile on a dating site. "I got to know it through a friend," I answer. "I've had some bad luck with boyfriends in the past, so perhaps online I could meet someone a bit different."

"And did you succeed?" Julian asks.

"Well, you certainly are different," I say.

"I'm not quite sure if you've just given me a compliment," Julian says and we both laugh.

"Actually, In the past I've been with some really dishonest guys," I continue. "So, you can safely take it as a compliment." Julian smiles and seems to appreciate my words. "And what about you?" I ask.

"I haven't told you this yet, but I had a relationship of 12 years. Unfortunately, we had a bit of a falling out. My ex-wife changed a lot from my perspective, although she says the same about me."

"12 years?" I ask. "How old are you?"

"I'm 38." Julian answers. My mouth literally falls open.

"That's like 10 years older I estimated you to be," I say amazed. "I can't believe you are that much older than me."

"Do I hear a compliment or a problem?" Julian says, but he laughs, seemingly flattered by my reaction. "I read your age on your profile. I hope 9 years isn't too much for you?" he asks.

"It's not a problem at all. I'm just surprised," I say. "Anyway, how about after your breakup? Have you been with some women?"

"It's been 3 years since our breakup and I'm not the most outgoing person," he says. "If I meet a girl, it's through work most of the time. Or of course on a dating site." I notice him staring at my boobs again. I look away a little, acting like I'm not aware of it. At least one of us is enjoying the view.

"Don't you get lonely after a while?" I ask after a short pause.

I admit that I sometimes feel lonely," he replies. "But I am a happy person despite that. I have a great job and live a good life. Yet having a woman to spend that life with would be my preference obviously."

"And do you think I could be that woman?" I ask boldly.

"Oh, uhm... Sure, why not," Julian pauses, gathering his thoughts. "I already told you that you look amazing, and I definitely did not change my mind about that. As for the more important part, the inside, I don't really believe in love at first sight. It needs to grow during intimate and romantic moments. But you know, I don't see why not." We continue talking for thirty or so minutes about some smaller, personal things before getting ready to leave. Julian offers to pay the bill and I thank him. We walk outside. I have texted Ellen already and can see her car standing not far from the restaurant. "I hope you enjoyed this evening," Julian says as a way of saying goodbye. I smile. He is definitely a sweet guy. Someone who deserves a worthy girlfriend. I wonder if someone like me, someone with whom he has so few shared interests, could be that person. I look into his green eyes. Come on, why doesn't he kiss me? Why doesn't he grab me by my hips, pulls me against his body and kiss me? This is his chance. I keep looking into his eyes, with a little smile on my face, and give him a couple more seconds to make his move. He does nothing.

"Well, I think I'll go. My friend is waiting for me," I say. I don't move for another moment, giving him one more chance to act.

"Very well," he says. "I hope we'll see each other again?"

"Sure," I say. I give him a smile and walk away.

"How was the date?" Ellen asks while I close the door of the car.

"Very enjoyable," I say. "He's definitely a nice guy."

"I feel a 'but' coming," Ellen says.

"But he's not my type, and to be honest, I don't think I'm his. I want someone more... I need someone more..." I can't really finish my own sentence.

"Someone less nice?"

"Yes!" I nearly shout. I'm a bit ashamed at how fast that reaction came.

"It's alright." Ellen says after giggling a bit. "I'm not a psychologist. But I know that you are far from the only woman who prefers that."

The drive home goes by quick while I talk to Ellen about the evening.

"What do you think about the future? Will you see each other again?" Ellen asks while we step out the car, having arrived at home.

"I don't know. He's actually a bit better looking in reality than on the pictures. His green eyes go well with his hair colour. And he has a stern look in his face which I quite like." I hang my coat over a chair and kick of my heels. "Also, our conversation went rather well. We had little problem talking to each other."

"Well, plan your next date soon," Ellen says.

"Why?" I ask while I sit myself down on the couch.

"Because he's a guy I would go out with too." Ellen smiles and gives me a wink. I just stare at her and Ellen starts laughing at my expression. "I mean, he's kinda cute."

"I think I'm going to take a shower," I say. Ellen doesn't seem to stop with laughing while I walk upstairs.