Where to Find Love Ch. 08

2 days pass. It's Friday evening. I arrive at the company and see Daniël and Julian standing at the entrance. I wave.

"Hey," I say when I reach them. I both give them a kiss to greet them. "Waiting on me?" I ask.

"Yup, we were," Daniël says. "We'll take the car. You can join me if you want. Since you haven't seen my car yet," Daniël suggests.

"Or you can join me," Julian says. "But I'm afraid that I'll lose in the battle for most impressive car."

"Why?" I ask.

"Come, I'll show you," Daniël says.

"And off he goes to his 100.000 euros car," Julian says. "I'll see you there," Julian adds and walks away. Daniël waves.

"This is mine," Daniël says when we reach his car. Daniël has a vibrant blue car. I can see the symbol of an L on it.

"What kind of car is it?" I ask. I don't know much about cars.

"It's a Lexus LC. I don't like bragging too much, but Julian was close when he called the price."

"Well," I say. "I suppose with a car like that, some bragging is allowed. I can ride with you, right?" I ask hopeful.

"Sure, hop on in." He doesn't need to tell me that twice. I quickly notice the inside certainly lives up the expectations when seeing the outside.

"I guess the company is successful?" I ask when I hear the sound of the engine.

"It is," Daniël replies. "And I'm very proud of that. I worked hard for my success. For five years, from my nineteen to my twenty-fourth, the only thing I did was studying. When my friends went out partying, most of the time I didn't join them. I was too busy working. And after that I went to get my doctorate. My first thought had been to work in academia, but when I applied to some companies, I unexpectedly got invited to an interview. Before I knew it, I had a management position in this company. I decided to devote all my time to it and here I am, 7 years later, 33 years old, and CEO of the company."

"That's very admirable," I reply. "You remind me of my friend, Ellen. She also has devoted all her time to her studies and work, still does, and she very much enjoys doing that. She teaches at the university."

"Your friend is someone I can understand perfectly then," Daniël says. "People like me and your friend, we're not that much smarter than other people, or superior or whatever you want to call it. But we get an immense value out of our productive work. My achievements, my success, it's all just a representation of my values. Take this car for example. I got my car through hard work. And I worked hard because it gives me self-esteem. And that self-esteem gives me happiness. That's why I drive this car, because it is a representation of my values, of my hard work. The car itself doesn't make me happy, but how I got it, that does."

"But, if that's true," I say, "if your happiness comes from your self-esteem, and your self-esteem comes from work, then do you ever give away something you have earned through work, like money? If you hold by what you said, then giving away anything is like giving away part of your happiness."

"Not completely true. Giving is not the same as sacrificing," Daniël says. "But it is true that I would never sacrifice anything to anyone. I won't give anything to those that have not earned anything. I won't, and don't, live for other people, only myself."

"That sound pretty selfish," I remark.

"Indeed," Daniël replies. "You say it like it is something bad."

"Well, isn't it?" I ask.

"Everything I do in life, I do it to make my life the best it can be. I will never sacrifice and I'll never ask others to sacrifice for me. In my opinion, everyone should live like that."

"Hm, I'm not sure if that sounds right, if that sounds moral."

"Anyway, we've arrived," Daniël says. We indeed seem to arrive at our destination and I can see Julian waiting for us.

"Look, there's Julian," I say. We park and step out. Both of us greeting Julian.

"A fast car doesn't mean much in a city, right?" Julian laughs.

"You know, you guys haven't told me yet what we're about to do," I say to Daniël and Julian.

"Oh wow," Daniël says. "I totally forget. This building over there is a place where once a month they get some pretty famous jazz band to play. Bot me and Julian really love it."

"Jazz?" I ask. "If I had known that I would've asked my friend Ellen to join us. She really loves it."

"Oh?" Daniël says. "Well from what you've just told me, she seems like a fun person. Feel free to ask her if she wants to join us." Daniël looks at Julian. "If it's alright with you, Julian."

"Sure," he answers. "I wouldn't mind at all."

"Hm, alright," I say, "I guess I'll call her then." I call Ellen and she agrees to join us. Daniël, Julian and I decide to go in already. We sit ourselves down at a table and order some cocktails. Glad you could come," I say. "My pleasure," she says. "You know I say yes when you invite me, since I don't go out much." Ellen greets Daniël and Julian and takes a seat next to me.

"Sara has talked a bit about you," Daniël says to Ellen.

"I hope she didn't tell anything bad?" Ellen reacts.

"Not at all," Daniël continues. "I think she admires your greatly." A moment later Ellen quickly finds a conversation partner in Julian. I can overhear them talking about internet dating.

"Indeed, I feel the same," Julian says to her. "It would be fun if I could find a woman for something serious, but I've met some fun, new people which makes me not regret the fact that I haven't found anyone yet."

It doesn't take long before Daniël shifts the conversation to work. He also quickly finds a conversation partner in Ellen, as she also loves talking about work. Both of them seem very interested in each other and I feel a bit left out. I close my eyes for a moment and listen to the jazz music. Ellen, Julian, Daniël. I think about them. I'm glad I met these people, although two of them just recently. I hope the two men will become good friends. This night, the place, the company, I'm enjoying it. Suddenly, I hear something that's not about work. "...and the next day she said to the teacher, are we doing anything important today?" I see both Julian and Daniël smiling and listening attentively.

"I think you've had enough cocktails Ellen," I quickly interrupt. "We both know you can't handle alcohol well."

"Ah, come on," Ellen says while laughing. "It's not every day that I get the chance to tell funny stories about you. Besides, I haven't told them yet about when we were at that beach..."

"Ellen!" I interrupt her, almost shouting. Daniël and Julian are laughing.

"It is quite late already," Daniël says not much later. "And I need to stop at work for a moment so I guess I'm going to leave anyway."

"Yeah, me and Ellen are going to leave too."

"You know, Sara," Daniël says. "I could drop you off if you want, since you seemed to like the Lexus."

"I'll pass. Ellen doesn't look fit to drive home so I'll take her with me."

"I'm fiiiine," Ellen reacts.

"No," you interject. "You're not."

The four of us walk outside and we bid each other farewell. A moment later I'm driving home with Ellen next to me.

"Thank you," she says. "For inviting me. I enjoyed myself."

"I bet," I reply. "You were even about to tell about that day on the beach." Ellen laughs.

"Oh, don't be ashamed. Many girls like it. Anyway, that Julian guy is nice." I laugh.

"Interested?" I ask.

"Hm, perhaps a little."

"You're so drunk."

"Yes, yes, I am," Ellen says and laughs.

***

When we arrive home, I help her out of the car. "Oh, wow," she says, almost falling down. I put one of my arms at her legs.

"Let me carry you," I suggest. Ellen falls back and I left her up. Luckily, she doesn't weigh much and I manage to walk her upstairs and lay her down on the bed. Having seen her eat these last couple of days, one can wonder what kind of magic she uses to stay skinny. "You can sleep in your clothes," I say, more to myself than to her. I place a hand on her cheek. She's sleeping. I move the hairs hanging in front of her face to the side. I can't help but smile. She is so warm. How lucky I am, to have a friend like her. I cover her, give her a kiss on her cheek and take one last look before I disappear into the bathroom to take a shower before going to bed. I undress myself and step into a hot shower. I close my eyes and enjoy the water falling on my skin. My thoughts go to my perfect man. I think about the shower door sliding open.

I imagine him, naked. I feel desire welling up in me. I suddenly imagine a man with a face. It's Daniël. I see him stepping in the shower, kissing me passionately, caressing me on my hips, my back, my butt. Is he what I want? Is he the one with whom I want to spend every night? Could I love him and could he love me? The image in my mind changes. Now Ellen is caressing me. She's rubbing her hands over my breasts, my belly, my crotch. She gives me little kisses in my neck, and I can feel her fingers enter my pussy. Minutes later, I awake, triggered by a climatic feeling. I can feel a hand touching my pussy, so I open my eyes and look down. I don't see Daniël's hand like I imagined, it's just my own. No, wait. I wasn't thinking about Daniël, but about Ellen. Why did I see Ellen? The moment I ask myself that question, I simply stop thinking about it, banishing it from my mind. I step out of the shower, dry myself and wrap a towel around my hair. I put on my nightgown and leave the bathroom.