Whiskey Lullaby

(Author's note: This is a repost of a story I wrote under the name Tearsofsorrow2, the story has been graciously edited by HopelesslyAddicted and I thank her for her diligence. When you find any stylistic concerns know that they are owned by the author and he cherishes them. Please comment loudly, can't improve if I don't see where. The story is based on the song of the same name by Brad Paisley. I apologize if it brings a tear to your eye, I did to mine.)

*

To those who come after me, I am now relating this story of a time when things were supposed to be simple. Love of a woman, God watching over us, mom, and apple pie. However, things are never as simple as they appear and you can never take anything for granted, especially the love of a woman.

I met Ben Reid when we were in Boot Camp in the spring of 1917. President Wilson had just announced that we were at war with the Central Powers. I had enlisted at the tender age of 20; Ben was 19 at the time. The island was tough, they grinded you into a Marine or they broke you. Because Ben and I were a little older than the rest of the recruits, we gained our stripes very early on. The Corps was small in those days and leadership was at a premium.

After eight weeks of basic, we were finally given our first leave, and Ben and I headed to his hometown of Fayetteville. Ben was sweet on a girl he had known all his life. Sarah Wills was a beautiful girl, and I could see right away that Ben had eyes for no one else. Sarah seemed to look at him the same way, and I could hear wedding bells every time they were together. That is how this tragedy all started.

We returned to the island for advanced training, and then were informed we would be shipping out for France and the war. We had one last week before we had to leave. Ben and I return to his hometown, and he married Sarah before we went off to France.

We reached France in August of that year, that bloody year. War is war and I have no words to describe it. Officer casualties were high and in little time, I found myself with a field promotion to Lieutenant with Ben as my platoon sergeant. Heroism seemed to come natural to Ben. On the night of Sept 23, while on a patrol in the wooded area before the frontlines our company came under fire from machinegun nests. Several men were hit including Ben. All was hell and confusion and you could not think straight due to the noise and the screaming of dying men. But not Ben, though wounded, he managed to work his way to within throwing distance of two of the nests. Moments later all was silent, Ben had used grenades to take out both of the machineguns. He would receive the Silver Star for his actions that night.

Not a day went by that Ben did not write to Sarah, professing his love and devotion. She would return his letters and as was customary in our company, Ben would read aloud to the men what his wife had to say. There was never a dry eye when Ben was finished. As time passed though the letters from Sarah became less frequent, we consider it a sign of the times and got back to fighting the war. However, the high times were always when Ben would read a letter aloud to the men. After awhile I came to realize that my platoon wasn't really mine but Ben's. Oh, I gave the orders and the men followed Ben in the carrying out of those orders. You would think that I would grow to resent the situation but I didn't. I was grateful that some of the burden of command was lifted off my shoulders and to tell you the truth I don't believe any of us would have returned home if it wasn't for Ben.

Christmas 1917 saw us in Belleau Wood. We had been in the thick of it for three months with no end in sight. A strange thing happened that Christmas that if I hadn't been there I wouldn't believe it if someone told me the tail. It was Christmas Eve and we were in our trench. There was a truce on so that the men could celebrate without the fear of dying on Christmas day. I can remember that the wind was from the east as Ben and I were talking about what we would do when the war ended.

"I'm going home to Sarah and start a family, what are you going to do John?" asked Ben.

"I have decided to re-enlist and go to officer training school; I'm going to stay in the Corps if they'll have me."

Ben just looked at me for the longest time. "I would have thought that after all the hell we've been through, the pain, the death, and the fear, that you would have had enough of the Corps."

It was at that moment that I realize that Ben was just like everyone else. I have to tell you I have never felt more alive than when I am in combat. I was terrified the whole time, but alive. I just didn't think that Ben ever felt that way. Strange, and then it happened, the wind had picked up and I could hear singing coming from the German lines. The Germans were singing Silent Night. I stood up in the trench and looked out over no-man's-land. I couldn't see a single German soldier. Then there was the calm, and the men in our trench started to sing along. Two groups of men locked in a life and death struggle were singing about a baby born centuries earlier. There is a God. The war resumed that night at the stroke of midnight and we were never to hear that calm again.

1917 turned into 1918 and we made the big pushes that would see an end to the war. Ben was still being Ben. Heroism had become second nature to him. I followed his example as best I could but he was a legend by now. Our platoon got all the rough assignments and we never failed to come through. I ordered and Ben led, it was the order of things and it kept us alive.

The last bit of heroism would happen on November 3 of 1918. The battalion was pinned down by sniper fire and the enemy artillery was zeroing in. The forward observation post signaled that there was a break in the landline and they could not reach the artillery to do counter battery fire. Major Halle had sent three runners with the spool of wire to reconnect the observation post's landline. None had made it more than a few yards before the snipers got them. Ben looked at me.

"It's my turn John, I'll get it through."

I felt like I was looking at a dead man. "I'll go Ben you have to get back to Sarah."

"You won't make it John and you know it."

"Oh yea of little faith, if one of us has to survive this war it is you Ben. I have nothing to go back too. You have a wife and all those children to make. Just name the first one after me and we will be even." He got up as if he was going to disobey me for the first time. "That's an order Marine."

He looked at me again, quite resignation in his eyes. "Aye, Aye Sir, Aye, Aye".

I looked to where the spool landed beside the last dead Marine. I went at it at a run. I have never run so fast in my entire life. One moment I was arguing with Ben, the next I was running with the spool. I'd like to say I made it across that killing ground but that would be a lie. I made it maybe a hundred feet and then I was lying on back looking up at the sky. Curious, how did I get here? I feel warm but I know it is cold. Then Ben was beside me. He tried to lift me but I stopped him. "The spool, take the spool it is the hope. I'll be here when you get back. Don't argue Marine just do it.:"

I can honestly say I don't remember a thing after that. I woke up in a hospital in Paris and the war was over. Ben was sitting there looking down at me. Funny the first thing I notice was he was wearing Dress Uniform and there was another Silver Star to go with his first. I tried to talk but no words would come out. "Don't try to speak John. The good news is the war is over. The bad news is we are not going home yet."

Ben and I would stay in France until the summer of the following year. Finally, we got our orders to go home on July 16 1919. We had survived the war; the worst was yet to come.

We arrived in New York City to a hero's welcome. Our whole lives ahead us. I had already re-enlisted and I had been accepted to Annapolis. Ben was looking forward to seeing Sarah. It was strange that she did not meet us in New York; the Corps had said it arranged for all the wives to be at the docks when we returned. Yet there was no Sarah. We boarded a train for Fayetteville. I had nowhere to go for the time being as I did not need to report to Annapolis until September. We arrived in Fayetteville at nine in the evening. Again, no Sarah waiting for us at the train station. I was beginning to worry. Ben didn't even seem to notice. We walked from the station to his house. There was a light on upstairs so I began to feel better. At least nothing had happened to her. We went inside and Ben started taking the stairs two at a time. I heard a woman's scream and this loud thump as if a body had been thrown into a wall. Then Ben came downstairs and there were tears in his eyes. He walked past me and didn't even look back. It was my turn to take the stairs two at a time. I had to find out what had happened.

I reached the bedroom and there was the sight of devastation that had brought the bravest man I know to tears. Sarah was in the corner of the room with a bed sheet rapped around her obvious naked form. Lying imbedded it the wall was a man, also naked. Ben had made through the Great War, had been wounded seven times; only to be killed by the one person he loved most. Oh, he was still walking but I had seen that look in too many eyes not to know what it was. I checked the man to see if he was still alive. He was mores the pity. I looked at Sarah and said, "Don't move, don't you even think of moving. I'll be right back." I turned and walked down the stairs and out the door to see if Ben was still around. He wasn't, so I went back inside. His duffle bag was still where he had dropped and I knew that what I need I would find in there.

Right on top were two cases and a tube. I took these and headed back upstairs. Sarah hadn't moved, not a muscle. She had a look of fear in her eyes. "I am not going to kill you Sarah, although that is exactly what you deserve. Ben would never forgive me if I harmed you." She just nodded her head. I took the two cases and opened them a placed them on the bed where she could see the contents. I then opened one end of the tube and took out the papers that were inside.

I turned to Sarah, and started to read. "For conspicuous gallantry above and beyond the call of duty, the United States Marine Corps and the President of the United States award Gunnery Sergeant Ben Reid, the Silver Star." I paused and looked at Sarah, all color had left her face. I continued, "On Sept 23rd 1917, while on patrol with his unit, Gunnery Sergeant Ben Reid, in act, in the finest tradition of the Naval Service, did engage single handedly two separate machinegun emplacements and in so doing saved the lives of the men of his platoon."

I again looked up from the papers. "Have I got your attention Sarah?" She just looked at me blankly. I raised my voice, "I asked you if I have your attention Sarah?" This time she said yes. I would hear from her that night the first and only words. I returned to the papers and began to read again. "For conspicuous gallantry above and beyond the call of duty, the United States Marine Corps and the President of the United States award Gunnery Sergeant Ben Reid, the Silver Star." I pause again and if she could have gotten whiter, I don't know how. "On November 3rd 1918, his unit under sniper and artillery, Gunnery Sergeant Ben Reid, in an act, in the finest traditions of the Naval Service, did cross no- man's-land not once but five recorded times to relieve an outpost under hostile fire, to wit, said Sergeant did carry a spool of wire to said outpost. Said spool was used to reconnect the outpost with the artillery in the rear. The Sergeant then returned across no-man's-land to retrieve one of his fallen officers."

I stopped at this point to dry my eyes. I looked at Sarah and said, "That officer was me Sarah." Returning to the papers, I continue where I had left off. "After returning the wounded officer to an aid station Sergeant Reid return to evacuate three more men who had been wounded in the line of duty. During all this time, Sergeant Reid was under threat of eminent harm due to artillery and sniper fire. His actions not only saved the lives of the men in his unit but allowed the continuation of an offensive movement which had been stalled due to lose of communications."

I stopped and I could see that Sarah was now visibly crying. "I have said that I will not kill you Sarah but, the Corps takes care of its own. You needed to know the man you just killed Sarah. Because make no mistake Ben is dead. He may still be walking around but it is just a husk. Good evening Sarah I hope I never have to see you again." I collected Ben's medals and returned them with care to his duffle bag and then I left with the bag in search of my friend.

I found Ben four days latter and I have to say even I saw him wounded in France; he didn't look as bad as he did then. "You've been drinking Ben." It was a statement not a question.

He turned to me, "What would you have me do John? I can't go home I have no home anymore." His eyes were dead they were not even bloodshot.

I had to think fast. "Of course you have a home Ben, you are a Marine and the Corps takes care of its own. The Corps is your family we will look after you."

Many cups of coffee and a good nights sleep and I had convinced Ben to re-enlist and apply for officer training as I had done. He did in fact re-enlist but he said to me, "John I am not an officer. I can't lead men and I can't plan the way you can. I'll be happy if they just let me stay a Sergeant."

"Fine Ben, we will leave tomorrow, where are going to be stationed?" "

Norfolk Virginia. USS Arizona, security detail." I was happy that he seemed to be taking all that happened in stride. We did not see Sarah before we left but it would not be the last we would see of her.

I would like to take a minute and state that I do not understand dishonest people, I truly don't. Over the next four years while I was at the Naval Academy. Sarah would follow Ben from base to base. I don't know how she always was able to find him but invariable she always did. She just wouldn't let it lie. Although Ben never divorced her he never talked to her again either. I just don't understand her, was she trying to torture him? On the only occasion I witnessed her confronting Ben, it was very strange. He was getting ready to board ship as they were going out on a three-month deployment. Sarah intercepted Ben and grabbed his arm. Ben didn't try to pull away, in fact, he stood stock still. Didn't even move a muscle and he didn't even look at her.

Sarah started, "Aren't you even going to let me explain? I'm sorry, I was lonely, I hadn't heard from you in months." He just stood there. Finally, Sarah let go of his arm and he just walked away. Her words were hollow, a justification of her actions. Actions that she should never have taken. She looked at me and I looked through her. I turned and walked away. I had heard more than I ever wanted too.

Things were looking better, or so I thought. I had just graduated the Academy and by act of Congress, I was an officer and a gentleman. Ben seemed to have his life in order; I had kept an eye on my old friend even if we saw each other only rarely. In 1923, Ben did not re-enlist and he vanished. I was stationed at Norfolk at the time and could not go looking for him. Sarah informed me that he was missing. "John I know I am not your favorite person but I am worried. I have not seen Ben in over a month and the Corps tells me he did not re-enlist."

I just looked at her, "What do you care, really Sarah? You have done enough harm. Why don't you walk away and not look back? It will be better for Ben."

Sarah started to tear up, "But I love him, it was a mistake. I want him back."

I lost it, "A mistake, A MISTAKE," I yell at her. "You fuck a man, not your husband, in your marital bed, while your husband was off fighting for the very freedoms you now no longer deserve. It was not a mistake Sarah, you did it willingly. You are only sorry that you were caught. You disgust me, and the real problem isn't that you did it. No, that was not enough for you. You had to rub it in his face. Day after day, year after year, little by little you turned the dagger you placed in his heart. And for what? What sick game are you playing at? Do you think that saying your sorry will change what he saw? Do you think there is anything you can do that will erase the betrayal? Walk away Sarah, I'll find Ben but I won't return him to you. The Corps takes care of its own and you are not part of the Corps. You gave that up when you whored around on him."

Sarah fled and I felt that maybe that would be the last I would see of her. How tragically wrong I was.

I found Ben in a rundown hotel room in Charlestown. He had been dead for two or three days the investigators said. He only had one thing of note with him. A short note in his own handwriting, "I'll love her till I die." I collected the body and returned to Fayetteville to have him interned. I had the note with me. As with all Marines, his will and testament were all in order and he had left everything to Sarah his wife. At the funeral, she was there with her family. I noticed that Ben's family did not speak with her. I had one more duty to perform and I was looking forward to it.

I walked up to Sarah after the service and I handed Ben's note to her. She read it and fainted dead away. I turned and walked away I spent a few days with Ben's family who had really become my family. It turns out Ben never told them about finding Sarah that night. Every time they asked he just stopped talking and eventually they stopped asking. In the time I knew Ben, he never once said a bad thing about Sarah. In fact, from the first evening home he never spoke about her at all. I explained to his family what had happened and how he kept it all bottle up inside. As I had told Sarah on that fateful night, she had killed him as surely, as if she had stuck him with a bayonet.

I would return to Fayetteville from time to time to see Ben's family; I would eventually get married and have children of my own. The first boy I named Ben and I could not have been prouder. It was as if my old friend had come back to me. In addition, what of Sarah you ask. She was found in her home three years later. The doctor says alcohol poisoning. She was found with a picture of Ben in her hands.

ToS2/1Tm