White Rabbits and Black Russiansbynaradragonfly©
Author's Notes: Much thanks and love to my dear Fallon and Sarah who provided me mad brainstorming when I failed at plot.
The wind howled like a symphony of sick dogs trained to sing commercial jingles. Jason slumped into the ski lodge, cursing God, snow and his uncle Errol, for sending him to some god-forsaken corner of the world where they still had fresh-air and blindingly white snow, which usually came in the form of ass-freezing blizzards. While he was shown up to his room, he added in some choice words about his taxi-driver and the general accessibility of the lodge, and then went back to cursing God about the weather in general.
He was—rather wisely on the part of some of the long-tempered staff—completely ignored.
And, as everyone knows, when one has been shipped off to a ski-village on an errand of questionable legality with vague instructions involving white rabbits and black Russians, and when one's complaints have been universally ignored by the good-natured and irritatingly cheerful staff, the obvious thing to do is to sulk. Preferably at the hotel bar, where one also has the opportunity to get drunk and possibly laid.
Jason, being a hot-blooded and short-tempered (not to mention irresistibly sexy) young man, particularly prone to bouts of sulking, did just that.
He found it particularly convenient that the white rabbit just happened to be bartending. It figured his contact would be a snowbunny. A five-ten snowbunny with cornsilk blond hair, baby blue eyes and two gorgeous long legs that lured the eyes up to a fantastic ass which featured a fuzzy white rabbit-tail. Due to the femininity of the features and the short-skirted nature of the costume, Jason had to look twice before he was even sure the object of his arousal was male. Male, but a femme. An incredibly cute femme with sexy albeit garish taste in fashion. The tight fuzzy sweater he wore was done in neon shades of rainbow, and two tiny gold reindeer dangled from his earlobes. Jason took the time to stare, because they really were exceptionally sexy legs. It'd be disrespectful not to honor them with some appreciative drooling.
"Hi," the snowbunny chirped, leaning on the counter and chewing idly at his lip. "What'll it be, cutie?"
"Black Russian," Jason replied, reaching out to run the strands of the bunny's fine silk hair through his fingertips.
"Mmhmm," said the bartender, leaning dazedly into the touch. "You're cute."
Jason wondered if he'd been in the business long. Not that Jason had, but his snowbunny contact seemed a bit unprofessional. Maybe clueless would be a better word.
"Want a quickie?" the bartender asked, with a lovable take-me-now smile.
"You aren't busy?" Jason asked, indicating a group of guests glaring at him and waiting to be served.
Bunny didn't even look. "Not really."
He really did have the sexiest lip-chewing habit in the history of the world. To say nothing of the lips themselves, which inspired such amounts of lust that he was illegal in three countries, as he later informed Jason, who thought it was entirely possible, but more likely attributed to the amount of lust inspired by Bunny's legs in a miniskirt.
He looked even better out of it. And lying on his back on the bed with his hot-pink lips around Jason's cock, well, there were no words for that amount of sexy.
"Do you do this a lot?" Jason asked.
Bunny, quite aware that one shouldn't talk with one's mouth full, giggled and choked. Jason pulled out to let him breathe.
"Yes," he giggled, then paused. "Well, I mean, no. Er." He gave a cute lick to the side of Jason's prick. "Maybe we should talk later."
Jason nodded. "Open up."
Smiling, Bunny nodded in reply, kissing the head quickly before opening his lips and tilting his head back to make deepthroating easier. His hands reach around to guide Jason's thrusts, lightly groping his butt.
It was, Jason thought, by far the best blowjob he had ever received.
"Hey—" he started, to warn Bunny, who chose that moment to suck in deeply, and Jason came down his throat with a shout.
Bunny sat up, giggling and wiping his mouth when he was done. Jason curled into the bed next to him, pulling him close.
"Can you get it up again to fuck me?" Bunny asked, with a peck to Jason's cheek.
Jason grinned. "Yeah. But I didn't bring condoms."
Bunny's face fell, pouty. "So go get some. Downstairs. I'll wait."
"Okay." Jason kissed him and got up, pulling his pants up. "Be right back."
On the way back, he walked into a wall. A very sexy wall, on closer inspection. Tall, dark, sinfully handsome, with deep blue eyes and brown hair, and dressed in a black leather trenchcoat. Jason was starting to wonder what kind of hotel he was in, with such unusually hot guys all around. The wall gave him a suspicious glare. "Do I know you?"
Jason couldn't help it. Who wouldn't flirt with a guy this hot? "Would you like to?"
"I'm looking for someone," the wall said. To Jason, who was staring fixatedly in rampant lust, it sounded more like "I want to impale you on my cock and watch you writhe." Jason has never had the best hearing.
"Uh," Jason said, dropping the box of condoms.
The wall picked it up, handing it to him. "Someone waiting for you?"
"Oh," Jason said. "Right. Seeya." With a grin and a wink, he left.
At a safe distance, the wall followed. He watched until Jason entered one of the hotel rooms, and then took his time to stealthily pick the lock and push the door open. He was met by the incredibly erotic tableau of Bunny arched off the bed in ecstasy, with Jason above him, kissing him, stretching Bunny out with two lube-slicked fingers up his ass, and the words coming out of Bunny's mouth were something to the degree of: "oh please fuck me need it inside me need you so bad."
Although Dane would later claim that it was shock which kept him from shooting Jason on the spot, those who knew the nature of his relationship with Jason and Bunny insisted that it was more likely arousal. So he did the obvious thing and stared.
"Er," said Jason.
Bunny yelped. "Dane!"
"You know this guy?" Jason asked, or at least started to, because when Dane pulled a gun on him, he figured it might be smart to shut up.
"He's my fiancé," Bunny said, flailing. "Dane, please don't kill him, you can't kill him, I love him."
Jason blinked. "You love me?"
"Who is he?" Dane asked, not amused, not taking his gun away from Jason's temple.
"He's the—he's, um," Bunny flailed again for good measure. "What was your name?"
"Jason," he whimpered, really wishing he'd remembered condoms so that he could've fucked Bunny earlier and died happy.
Dane twitched. "You didn't even know his name? How long have you been sleeping with him?"
"I only just met him! At the bar! But I love him!"
"You would," Dane muttered. "What about your contact?"
"He is my contact. It was love at first sight."
"He's the target?"
Jason wished they'd stop yelling. And maybe put the gun down. He blinked. "Wait, target?"
"You botched the kill to cheat on me with the target?" Dane summarized, ignoring Jason despite having a gun to his head.
"It was true love! You can't refuse true love!"
"What, some scrawny kid? And what am I?"
"Hey!" Jason objected.
"You're the other love of my life," Bunny mumbled, piteous. "Don't hate me."
Dane growled. "Just let me kill him. He's the target."
"I'll never forgive you," Bunny said.
Dane put the gun down, but continued to glare. "What do you want me to do? If I don't kill him, they'll just get someone else to finish the job."
"We could protect him. He's sexy."
Dane twitched. "Are you suggesting I'm not enough for you?"
Bunny hugged him. "You're enough for anybody."
Dane snorted (Byzantine creeps).
"But you can't help who you fall in love with. It's love! I didn't mean to! I love you both!"
"This is bullshit," Dane said, shoving him away, stalking out, and slamming the door behind him.
Bunny burst into tears.
Across the snow, in a tall, stately pine, one of Jason's fellow agents watched the scene through binoculars. He put them down and swore. The situation was clear. (He had, fortunately for him but unfortunately for the situation in general, missed the entire preceding scene featuring the blowjob.) The big oaf and the rabbit were working together. For a minute, he was worried about the gun, but now it seemed they were satisfied with Jason as a captive. Errol was not going to be happy that his favorite nephew had been taken captive. Far be it from anyone to point out that it was Errol who had failed to see through the trap Jason walked into until it was too late.
The agent whipped out his cell phone. Best to work fast.
"Why'd you tell him you love me?" Jason asked.
"I do!" Bunny slumped onto the bed, sobbing. "I know you probably think I'm just some silly, stupid, flaky slut, but I do. I just know it somehow. I love you."
"Right," Jason said.
"Don't you believe in love at first sight?"
"Oh." Bunny sniffled, wiping away his tears and smudging his mascara. "I do. It was love at first sight with Dane, too. I've known him eight years."
"Eight years? And you cheated on him with ME?"
"Sorry," Bunny mumbled. "You can go. If you want."
Jason sighs, resting his forehead against the wall and closing his eyes. "And if I don't?"
"I don't know."
"That was one hell of a blowjob."
Bunny smiled, hesitantly. "Will you stay?"
Jason frowned, going into the bathroom and bringing back a wet cloth. "What about Dane?"
"We'll work something out. I promise. Will you?"
"I don't love you," Jason said, wiping away Bunny's tears and make-up with the cloth. "I've never been in love."
"That's sad," Bunny says. "It's nice."
"So how many lovers have you had?" Jason asked, wryly.
"Me and Dane?"
"You have got to be the craziest person I have ever met."
Bunny laughed. "Stay."
"I can't promise I'll ever love you," Jason said, setting the washcloth aside. "But I sure as hell want you."
He pushed Bunny back into the mattress, kissing him. Bunny wound a gentle, long-fingered hand through Jason's hair, returning the kiss softly, but not as lustfully as they'd kissed before.
"I have to go talk to Dane," he whispered."
"He's upset. I have to try to explain."
"I'm coming with you."
"Okay." Bunny sat up, pulling on his sweater and skirt. "I think he likes you."
"What was your first clue, the gun to my head?"
"He didn't kill you."
Jason opened the door and held it for him. "Hardly basis for affection."
"You don't know Dane."
"You have the strangest logic."
"Um," Bunny said, knocking at another hotel-room door before taking out a key and unlocking it.
Dane leaned against a dresser, idly nursing a glass of brandy.
Bunny ran up to him. "Dane!"
Jason leaned in the doorframe, watching.
There was a silence. It tasted of Styrofoam and over-ripe strawberries. It was Jason who broke the silence, gray eyes icy: "I'll fight you for him."
Dane smirked. "You don't stand a chance." It is not clear if he means this violently or romantically.
"So then it's not a problem for you. We'll have a duel."
"A duel?" Bunny squeaked.
"A duel?" Dane echoed. "What are we, gentlemen?"
"Whatever. It seems appropriate, having a duel over a lover."
Bunny flailed. "No duels! Please no duels! Please stop glaring." Bunny started to quiver under the force of the wrath criss-crossing the room, and the taste of Styrofoam. "We need tea."
"Bunny," Dane said.
"Tea," Bunny insisted. "I need tea."
"Tea?" Jason repeated. "Can't we be civilized and settle this over alcohol and someone's death?"
Bunny went for the door. "I'm getting tea. Don't kill each other."
Jason watched him go, baffled. "Does he do this often?"
"The tea? Yes. He's addicted to chamomile."
Jason rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I need a drink."
Dane shrugged and poured him a glass of brandy.
"I meant bringing home blokes and claiming to love them," Jason clarified, taking the glass.
"You're the first."
Jason downed the brandy at a gulp. He'd seen how fast Dane could draw a gun, so he figured it wasn't worth his time to worry about poison. "He said you'd been together eight years."
"Five. We've known each other eight years."
"Shit." Jason held his glass out for a refill. "Why haven't you killed me yet?"
Dane poured it. "I'm asking myself the same question."
They stood for a few minutes in silence. The air was not awkward or tense. It might have been resigned.
Jason's cell phone rang.
He answered it.
"What? Yes. I mean no. Am I what? Wait, what blond? Bunny?" His voice was increasingly frantic. Dane did not like this. "You did what? No! I mean yes! Don't hurt him, okay? I'll call you back." He hung up the phone without waiting for a reply. "Shit."
"Just to let you know," Dane commented, "lie to me and I'll tear your lungs out through your ribs."
"They kidnapped Bunny. They thought you and he were holding me captive, so they kidnapped him. As collateral, I guess."
"I'm not getting paid enough for this," Dane muttered. "So tell them you're not being held captive and to let him go so he can go make his goddamn tea and come back so that we can duel and I can have an excuse to kill you."
"It's not that simple. They won't release him just because I say so. We'll have to trade me for him."
Dane nodded. "Good plan. I get Bunny back and I get rid of you at the same time."
"Try to contain your enthusiasm. You're holding me captive now."
"Right." Dane moved, pinning Jason to the wall by his throat, rifling through his pockets for weapons.
"Hey!" Jason yelled, struggling. "Did you just feel me up?"
"What, this?" Dane grabbed the bulge in Jason's pants. "Not much to speak of."
Jason made a scattering of infuriated and incoherent sounds, until Dane let him go, confiscating Jason's gun and pocketknife.
"That wasn't necessary," Jason muttered, rubbing his bruised throat.
"I know. Dial your people. I'll arrange the swap."
Jason dialed. Dane arranged. Then he hung up the phone, dropped it back in Jason's pocket, and grabbed him, twisting his arms behind his back. Jason yelped.
"Get your hands off me, you motherfucking cunt-wipe of a pedophile's buttplug," Jason swore.
Dane stopped, holding Jason's arms painfully behind his back, half-done with the knots. "That was some interesting abuse of the language."
Jason struggled. "Was your old man so ugly your mom had to get her tricks from the dog? Because either way it explains your looks, asshole."
Dane raised an eyebrow and got glared at in response. Then he started laughing.
"Hey!" Jason kicked him, squirming to get his hands free.
"Cute, kid," Dane said, ruffling his hair. Jason tried to kick him again. Dane finished typing Jason's hands behind his back, and even gave him a smack on the ass, which sent Jason into another fit of cussing. Dane was thoroughly amused.
They left the lodge and went to the snowy meadow nearby where Dane had set up the swap, sufficiently open and neutral so as to be safe from ambush on either side.
"Jason!" Bunny chirped, waving from a distance. He blew a kiss to Dane. He was altogether far more cheerful than was decent for any hostage, but that was to be expected of Bunny.
"Get," Dane ordered, cutting Jason's bonds and giving him a last spank to get him going.
"Would you stop?"
Dane smirked, almost fondly. "Go."
Jason went, meeting Bunny halfway across the field. Bunny hugged him, clinging. "Jason."
"Hey," Jason said. "I gotta go now."
"What if I never see you again?"
"Well, for one thing, it'd save Dane the trouble of killing me."
Bunny let go slowly. "I'll never forget you."
Jason gave him a soft kiss. "Try."
Jason shuddered awake, eyes blinking in sleepy confusion as he strove for focus. He'd dozed off in his armchair at home. The garishly cheery Christmas lights from his sad little tree flickered on and off in neon rainbow like Bunny's sweater. Dane's sharp blue eyes gazed back at Jason, with a predatory gleam.
"Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to find you?"
"Three weeks?" Jason guessed.
"Well, yes." Dane's arms on either side of the chair trapped Jason in place, his glare dominant and aggressive.
"And now you're going to kill me?" Jason tried to ignore the blush he felt rising on his cheeks.
"Probably," Dane agreed. "But I was thinking I might fuck your tight little ass into the wall, first."
"Oh," Jason said, feeling light-headed. "Right."
Dane pulled him to his feet, pinning him up against the closest wall.
Jason worked his tongue in his mouth, which had suddenly gone dry, and swallowed. "You're not kidding."
Dane stripped Jason of his jacket and t-shirt, stopping to run his hands over Jason's chest, still holding him pinned. "Not bad," He commented, with a smirk. "However scrawny."
Jason felt his blush deepen. He found himself wondering if the rest of his body would go numb, with all the blood going to his face and his, well. He was about to be raped, and probably murdered, and he'd never been more aroused in his life. He wondered if it still counted as rape if he was perfectly ready to go down on his knees and beg for it if Dane showed any signs of stopping. Jason decided that if he managed to survive this, he'd seek serious psychological help.
Dane took both of Jason's hands and pinned them together above his head. Jason didn't bother struggling. The difference in their strength was obvious. Although, he mused, it might be fun to struggle.
Serious psychological help, he decided. Men in white coats and all.
His pants were getting really, painfully tight.
With his free hand, Dane unfastened his captive's jeans and pushed them down. Jason closed his eyes, humiliated at his own arousal, and gasped when he felt Dane's callused palm cup around it, stroking brusquely.
"Hm," Dane said. Jason squirmed, biting down on what might have been either a moan or a whimper. "Decent." Jason opened his eyes. Dane was smirking. "For someone as short as you." Jason closed his eyes. The sound escaped. It was a very aroused moan.
Dane turned him around, lowering Jason's arms and tying them together behind his back. Jason's face was pressed harshly against the wall. He felt cold lube-slicked fingers at his ass and winced.
"Done this before, bitch?" Dane asked, wiggling his first finger inside.
Jason shivered. "Once."
Dane shoved a second finger inside, hard, making Jason cry out in pain. "Never again with anyone else, you hear me? You're mine."
Jason nodded, confused but vaguely aware that he had just been claimed. Satisfied, Dane gentled his invasion, letting his fingers graze over Jason's prostate, drawing out more moans.
"Hold still," Dane ordered. Jason waited. He heard the sounds of a condom wrapper being opened and a zipper being undone. The blunt head of Dane's cock pressed against Jason's asshole. It was big.
"Please," Jason begged. He wasn't sure what for.
Dane plunged into him. Jason swore.
He was grateful, at least, that Dane's beginning strokes were deep but slow, giving Jason time to adjust to the sheer size of it. Jason shuddered. "Fuck, Dane, please."
He still didn't know what he was begging for, but Dane did, one hand reaching down to wrap around Jason's prick, milking it in time with his thrusts. Jason mewled, pressing back against his enemy-lover eagerly.
"Jason!" Bunny burst into the room and stopped short, staring.
Dane paused, cock buried deep inside Jason's ass, and smiled casually at his fiancé. "Bunny. Hey."
Jason moaned. "Oh, fucking hell, don't stop."