Who Are You?

When I was younger, the difference between an "optimist" and a "pessimist" was explained to me with an analogy: "An optimist will say a glass is half-full, but a pessimist will say that it's half-empty." Afterwards I tried to determine which of my friends were optimists and which were pessimists by asking them which they thought the glass was - most of them just looked at me like I was crazy. It made me think about the differences between optimists and pessimists, especially when people started commenting on how optimistic of a person I was. Looking over my friends and myself, I found that those who were considered pessimists and those who were considered optimists had these different viewpoints because of the same emotions: fear and hope.

The underlying emotions that motivated people are fear and hope, which in turn support their own views on life. For example, optimists hope - they hope long and they hope hard; optimists tend to fear that if they don't hope then what they desire won't happen. On the other hand, pessimists have the same emotions, but they work in a very different manner; pessimists fear hope because they are afraid of being disappointed. Therefore, pessimists often tend to become more cheerful when bad things happen because it shows that they were right, just as optimists are more cheerful when good things happen. Pessimists are afraid of the good things, because something good can always go bad.

Pessimists tend to be realists, looking towards the future and preparing themselves for the worst that could happen. They think that dreams are all well and good,, but not until the bills, the kids and the groceries are taken care of - which of course will be never. Perhaps when you are old and all the will to live has gone out of you, then you might have the time to go out and have fun without having to worry. Of course, by that time you'll be too decrepit to enjoy it anyway. However, being a pessimist doesn't mean sucking the fun out of life, what it means is that you must constantly be on guard for the catch. I was once told by a pessimistic and cynical friend that whenever something good happens you have to watch out for the part of it that's going to kick you in the balls at a later date. When a pessimist examines an optimist they see a child, a dreamer, someone who needs to be taken care of - and of course the person taking care of them will end up being the pessimist. Rather than not caring about the world at all, the pessimist cares overly much, and doesn't want to be disappointed or see anyone else disappointed. They feel that it is their duty to point out the downside to everything... just in case.

An optimist, on the other hand, is someone who tends to cheerfulness, always hopeful that the next great event is just around the corner. They are convinced that there's a silver lining in every cloud, and that when you hit rock bottom there's nowhere to go but up (A pessimist will tell you that it's quite possible to start digging.). Optimists believe in hope and joy, that if you wish hard enough fro something, and put some work into it, that anything can happen. Fairy tales can be real life, and that if you don't hope for the best then how will you ever be able to get there? Optimists tend to thing that they're saving the world, just the pessimists do, but optimists want to do it by helping people achieve goals that they might not have considered possible before. Indeed, an optimistic friend tends to be one of the best supports a person could have - on the other hand, pessimists give much better consolation, they aren't going to try and talk you into trying it again.

The best way to show an optimist versus a pessimist is with an example: in high school I had a friend who actually made me more of an optimist because she herself was so incredibly pessimistic. Lisa had a cynical quip for every situation, a way to depress everyone around her, and a complete knack for finding the bad in everything that was good. It wasn't at all that she didn't care about other people, or that she thought she was better than them, but she'd been so disappointed so often in her life that she didn't want the people she cared about to go through that crushing loss of hope. Being around me drove her nuts, because although I tended to have a pretty good balance between hope and reality, I felt that I needed to be a counter to her cynicism. We were like little shoulder angels with our friends, one pointing out the possibility of failure while the other extorted the possibility of success.

A typical conversation with one of our friends who wanted to be a teacher would go something like this:

Lisa: Those kids are going to drive you insane.

Me: But there will be the good ones too! The ones that made you want to go into teaching in the first place!

Lisa: Yeah, but they'll be heavily outnumbered by the little bratty ones that are throwing spitballs into your hair.

Me: But you're so patient that you'll be able to deal with them well, and I can't see most kids making trouble in your room. Even the regular troublemakers! You're so nice that they'll all probably love you!

Lisa: Actually, it's more like you're too nice... period. They're going to run right over you.

Me: But you'll make a difference in a LOT of their lives.

Lisa: Sure, right up until they get into the real world, are corrupted and forget everything you taught them.

Me: Lisa, shut up.

It was actually rather funny to listen to and we got quite a kick out of it even as it was happening, but the reality was there. Lisa was afraid that if our friend hoped to make a real difference in the world that she'd be disappointed and run down and end up hating her chosen career. I thought that she should go into with the attitude that she was going to make a difference, thinking that if she went in not caring then she certainly wouldn't change anyone's life. It's just two differing viewpoints on how to get what you want out of life. Hope and fear, emotions that are absolutely essential to all human beings but are even more important to optimists and pessimists.

Emotions are one of the most potent forces in a person's life, driving them to or away from goals that he or she might hope to accomplish. Pessimists and optimists approach life from very different ideals, but both are motivated by the same emotions of hope and fear.