Who Is Ch. 03

So you really have never had sex before that point?

Correct.

But look at you. You're gorgeous. And you're smart and you're... you're the whole package.

So I've been told.

How could you not have had sex like a thousand times before that day?

I guess that's what happens when you get hurt. Plus, I was young and inexperienced.

Who was your first time with?

Someone Stacey set me up with.

How'd that work out?

Bad at first but good - Overall.

Were you okay with loosing your virginity like that? I mean from what it sounds like you were pretty shy and still new to all that sex stuff.

I was not always like that. If you will remember, I was quite happy growing up - with the exception of dealing with my parents of course. Well, that and being cheated on twice. I spent the rest of that semester trying to meet some one to date but in the end it seemed more sensible to just find some one who wanted to fuck - no relationships... no ties.

Can you tell me about it?

"It"?

Loosing your virginity.

*************************

When the time came, I was so nervous that I was actually tapping my fingers against my teeth and pacing the floor of my room. Just when I was about to call it off, Stacey walked in the front door. She could see that I was nervous so she told me about what I would be missing to talk me down until I agreed to go. She was casually dressed in a black mini skirt, a maroon tank top and stilettos. I decided to go a little more formal with a black, knee length, V-neck dress with short sleeves. It was nine O'Clock when Stacey and I left for the "little get together" she planned with two boys she knew. One, she has been trying to sleep with and the other was a friend of hers that she wanted me to "meet". She said that he did not know I was a virgin but I know she told him more than she let on.

We showed up at her friend's house which was completely packed with a party that was already in progress. We walked through the already opened door. Stacey pushed her way through the crowd but I took I a step back.

It was more than a little intimidating. Stacey walked back and asked me, "What's wrong?"

I hesitated and looked around, "There's a lot of people. I thought it was going to be just four of us."

"It was going to be but they don't really have control over their roommates, ya know?" She took my hand and led me inside. "Come on, it's gonna be fine. We'll just find a quiet part of the house."

What she said had calmed me down but there were too many people in the house for her promise to be kept. I walked behind her and we wound our way through the crowds of people until we finally met up with the two boys, Amos and Mitchel, in the kitchen. As uncomfortable and anxious as I was, walking through the living room, I was overcome with a rush of excitement when the all boys in the room turned their attention from the girls they were flirting, dancing and grinding with to Stacey and I. The other girls in the room were pretty but Stacey was in dressed in very little clothing and I was in formal attire, which made us stand out making it difficult for people to miss the two of us walking through the house.

We met the boys in the kitchen and they led us to the quietest corner in the house but it was not quiet at all. I could hardly hear them over the party and soon my anxiety returned and I could take it no longer. I tried my best to be polite and excused myself from the conversation before running out.

As I was leaving the house, filled with loud music and conversation, I felt the anxiety and panic leave me in a giant rush when I crossed the threshold to the porch. I could finally breathe again.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts and then started to walk home. I did not get more than a few steps when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Mitchel. I flipped around in a panic.

"Whoa!" Mitchel removed his hand and jumped back. "I didn't mean to scare ya. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

I relaxed and gave him a smile, "Oh, sorry. You... You just startled me."

"Is everything okay?" He asked politely.

It took me a second to reply, trying to come up with an excuse. "Uh, yeah. I... just..." I finally broke and told him the truth, "It was just really loud in there and I... guess I just don't well with the whole party scene. I hope I did not offend you."

"What? Absolutely not." He took a step forward. "Do ya wanna go somewhere quieter?"

I give him a look and stammered, "Uh... sure". I was hesitant but he seemed like a nice enough guy. "Where do you want to go?"

He held his arm out and I placed my hand on his arm. "There's a little restaurant over here that stays open late. It's never too busy. I'll buy you a treat."

I giggled and gave him a smile.

After a few hot coco's, that he Irished up with some liquor from home, and over two hours of good conversation Mitchel invited me back to his house. He promised me that it would not be as loud. It was partially the alcohol but all I could think about was Stacey's words in my mind, "Sex is amazing. There is nothing like." Just a few hours earlier, I had given up on losing my virginity on this particular night, but Mitchel was being so kind and such a gentleman that I was actually getting excited about it again.

It took me a few moments and another Irish Coco but eventually I agreed and we made our way to his house for the second time that night. We stumbled up to his door and tried our best to enter without making a sound, though we failed miserably to do so. By this time, the entire house was silent.

Mitchel had a little too much to drink and over reacted when we entered, "SHHHH!" He put his finger to his lips and stared daggers and me. "You don't want to wake these people, they'll... they'll eat your heart." He snickered through his teeth.

He was being silly but I liked it. I stumbled forward and crashed into him, "Come on. Let's go to your room."

The living room was filled with people passed out after too much to drink and not enough sleep to function for a normal person. Half were naked and the other half were half naked. I did not pay much attention to them, though at this point I was too focused on losing my virginity.

When we found his room, we had an awkward moment of silence. I was having such a good time and did not want it to end. I stepped into him and kissed him on the cheek. His eyes opened wide and he gave me a big smile. I started to giggle but he silenced me with a kiss of his own, this time on the lips. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him again and again. I've been in intimate situations before but the furthest I have ever been was having Gram play with my breasts a little. I was nervous about being so new to everything but I was not really caring about that at this particular moment.

Every few seconds we took a step closer to his bed. Mitchel moved his hands from my lower back down to the top of my ass. The excitement was almost unbearable and a small moan slipped my lips. My cheeks were instantly flush with embarrassment and I pulled away.

I stammered as I spoke, "I... I'm sorry."

He gave me a confused look, "Wha... why?" He thought for a moment and then figured it out. "Cause of the moan?"

I did not say anything, I just nodded my head. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. It felt nice - comforting.

He looked down at me and added, "You don't need to be embarrassed, it actually turns me on if you moan."

I smiled and asked, "Really."

He nodded his head and leaned in to kiss me and before I knew it, we were making out once again. His hands slid down my back again but this time did not stop until he was squeezing my ass with both hands. I moaned once again and found myself wanting something I had never wanted before. I could not tell you what it was, but I wanted it bad.

I pressed my chest into his only to discover that my nipples were erect and more sensitive than I thought possible. It did something to my brain. My skin felt like it was on fire and I was about to explode between my thighs. I have gotten wet before but never like this. Since I knew what was happening, I did not get freaked out but I was still worried. I did not know how wet was normal. I was not going to worry my mind with this though. I was having too much fun.

Mitchel used his fingers to slowly pull the hem of my dress up until it was resting on the top of my ass showing the black lace thong I wore to make myself feel confident. He ran his fingers under the band of my panties around my waist, sending chills throughout my body. I moaned into his mouth and Mitchel lifted my dress up just above my belly button. He ran his hands across my tummy and then down my sides and back up again till he reached my breasts. The touch of his hands on my bare skin was like a revelation. What had I been missing?

Suddenly everything my parents and church leaders said and taught me raced through my mind. But instead of feeling guilty and caring about what anyone would think, I just wanted what Mitchel was doing to my nipples even more. It did not feel wrong and I felt no guilt. It felt good and for the first time in my life I felt "right" about making a choice that was not based on my upbringing.

My excitement and curiosity grew, as did something beneath Mitchel's clothing. I rolled my hips into his, squeezing his cock between us. We both moaned and I began the arduous process of removing his pants. He stopped kissing me only long enough to lay me on the bed. He began kissing me again and then out of nowhere everything changed and he went from doing everything right to doing everything fast and rushing what I thought should be the parts of sex that you would want to savor and enjoy.

I lay there for a moment waiting to see what happened next while he striped himself naked in a flash. I still had all my clothes on and my dress was lifted up around my belly. I had never been this far before and I didn't know how others were having sex so I just tried to enjoy it. Though seeing him completely naked did make me giggle and a little hot. I've never seen a fully naked man before.

Mitchel looked up at me and we gave each other a little smile. He knelt on the bed and slid his hands up my body from my thighs to my chest, exposing my bra. His hands went down again, this time all the way to my toes, taking my panties with him.

The excitement of what we were doing was still strong but once my panties were off and my crotch was completely exposed I was overcome with embarrassment. I knew what my vagina was and what it was used for but it was as though my mind was never aware that anyone else had them or had ever seen them. As though being hidden away made them, not only, mysterious and more appealing but unknown. I was in the deep end of the pool and my reflexes to pull away and hide were on the verge of kicking in as thoughts of my childhood flashed in my mind again. But I fought against it. I felt good with what I was doing so I tucked those thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand.

Mitchel lifted one of my legs high with one hand and used the other to rub down my leg until he reached my unshaven mound. Something that Stacey would have addressed to be sure, had she known. I was embarrassed but his hands touching my most private of areas felt so right I knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

My body began to heat up again and I could feel myself getting wetter. My mind was racing with thoughts of what he might do next but he surprised me in one of the oddest ways. Mitchel lifted my other leg and scooted closer, his cock head touched my inner thigh and rested on my pussy. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing so I left everything in his hands in his hands. I closed my eyes and relaxed. I was loving it so far.

Just then something that Stacey told me popped into my head, Use a condom!

My eyes opened wide and I almost yelled, "Condom!"

Without moving, I reached down, grabbed my purse and pulled out the one she gave me. I handed it to him. He smiled and opened it with his teeth. He smirked like he was getting even more excited which made me more excited.

I laid my head down and smiled as Mitchel put the condom on. He leaned forward until he was on top of me and without any warning me, he pushed his dick all the way inside of me in one painful stroke. I gasped and almost slapped him but he was the experienced one so I bit my lip and held in the screams. Everything up to this point was fantastic and I was thoroughly enjoying myself but once he was inside me it was a different story. He pushed so far inside that it felt like I was stretching and tearing from the inside. I was about to yell stop but he pulled out a little and the pain finally stopped. Just when I thought it might be starting to feel good, he began thrusting into me over and over. I felt a lot of pressure and even more pain. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close so that he could not see my face. I bit my lip and began to tear up from the pain.

I was not sure what I was doing wrong but if this was "sex" then count me out for the next round. The pressure kept building and the pain was getting worse. I tried my best to hold it in but it was just too much. A tear ran down my cheek and just as I was about to scream, telling him to stop, his body seized and he thrust himself into one last time and held his position. He clenched my body with his arms and grunted loudly into my ear. I was not sure what was happening but it did not last for more than 3 or 4 seconds. When it was done and his body finally relaxed he flopped onto my body and then rolled over onto the bed.

He sighed deeply and said, "That was amazing."

I was in tears after what just happened to my insides and I was contemplating whether or not I needed to go to the hospital but I guess his happiness is all that mattered.

Before I could say anything to him, he rolled over and said, "Nite."

What the hell just happened? Did he really just get himself off with my vagina? I'm in pain over here and he did not even buy a ticket to ride. I should have charged him.

I sighed loudly in protest and turned to him as I asked, "What? Are you kidding me?"

He replied with silence. I place a hand on his shoulder but all he did was groan and turn further away from me. Still confused, I sat up, looked at him and shook my head in disgust. I may be new to this whole "sex" thing but I can recognize when I was being treated like shit.

I was hurt and felt used and I did not like it. I stood up and pulled my dress down. When I looked on the floor to find my panties and purse I found something much much worse. The condom that I had given him was on the floor still rolled up and in the package. All he did was tear it open so I thought that he put it on.

Suddenly everything that Stacey had helped me with to stop worrying about family, religion and everything else, came rushing back in full force. Emotions were high and I could hardly hold back the tears. I grabbed my purse and ran for the door, leaving my panties, as well as my dignity and self-respect, behind.

I ran as fast and as far as I could but I only made it two blocks before I could move my body no further. I broke down and cried in the middle of the street. I tried to stop myself but I just could not believe that someone could do such a thing to another person. Did he not care that my life with my family would be over if I got pregnant? Did he have an STD? I assumed that he did not care about anyone but himself.

I pulled out my phone and called Stacey but she did not answer. I left a message asking her to come pick me up and where I was. I crawled to the nearest sidewalk and begin crying again. I wasn't sure if she would be able to come but it did not matter. There was no way I could walk home right now.

I kept checking my phone in between the sobs and sniffles but there is nothing from her. I felt alone and scared and I did not know what to do. Memories of my two previous boyfriends flooded my mind. This situation is a little different and I was not dating Mitchel but the pain was just a real and just as devastating as before.

My phone rang and I answered as fast as I could. Within five minutes, Stacey pulled up in her old car, squeaking and spewing black exhaust. As she drove me home, I told her everything on the way. She was just as upset as I was. Maybe even a little more since Mitchel was a friend she trusted him with me. She took it very personal.

We were almost to my apartment when she started yelling and cursing his name. Stacey flipped the car around and drove straight back to Mitchel's house. I did not know what she is going to do but I did not care anymore. In fact I was hoping she would have kicked his ass.

I was hurt and angry and wanted to do the same thing but I was just too shy to confront someone in that way. When we arrived, Stacey ignored the parking on the street and drove on the sidewalk and over the lawn, parking the car right on their front steps. I gripped the center console with one hand and the door handle simultaneously with the other and I held in a scream.

I stayed put in the car while Stacey stormed inside the house. Almost five minutes passed before Stacey finally emerged through the door. She looked angrier than when she went inside and she was holding something under one arm. She climbed in car and sat a laptop computer on my lap and put the car into gear. She did not bother backing up, instead, she drove forward, through the bushes, over the lawn and into the street.

"What is this?" I asked as calm as I could.

"It didn't feel like it was enough to just slap him and yell so kicked him in the nuts and took his laptop... and you're going to smash it."

I was still crying but Stacey made me smile through the tears. We made it to my apartment where we smashed Mitchel's computer with a rock we found in a flowerbed. It did not change what he did to me but it did made me feel better.

We stayed up all night talking about what happened. Stacey told me that Mitchel said he had no STD's but that I still needed to go and get a morning after pill. Which I did. She also told me that what I experienced is not what sex is supposed to be like. That did not keep me from taking a break from my promiscuous adventures though. I told Stacey that I was done with sex forever but she laughed at me, knowing it was going to be near impossible to do so. I did not believe it either but I guess I needed to say it to feel like I was in control of my life... at least a little.

According to my past when something like this happened, I put off sex and dating entirely for at least two years but since I met Stacey, everything in my life had changed. I looked at things differently, treated others around me differently and I did not let the little things bother me as much as I once did. Except for the "occasional occurrence", I have all but forgotten about the strangle hold that religion and my family have had on me my entire life.

It only took three weeks to recover, this time, and after a clean bill of health from my doctor (and Stacey), I was back in the saddle - as Stacey so eloquently put it.