Who is the Chump?

Just a short essay on the situation we read about so often about the cheating spouse that laughs as they put one over on their partner. Who do they really hurt in the long run?

Who is the chump?

The one who loves fully, or the one who pretends, lies and cheats behind the other's back?

Always searching for something they already have, if they only opened their hearts and minds. It takes courage to open yourself up, to be so vulnerable, while the closed, protected shield cools the heart, keeping the stoked flames from catching and igniting the all inclusive passion of body and soul.

There is the fear that one day, you can come home and find out that your life was a lie, a shambles of deceit perpetrated by your partner, the one person in life that you trusted, who in turn has dashed your hopes and assumptions, who mocks you with their actions, and reveals the mask of a stranger you have shared your life with.

Who is the fool then?

The surprised supposed victim, or the devious, nefarious liar? Have you as the giver of your heart and trust all this time together really lived a less full life compared to the partner that has died each day a death of cowardice and lies? They rest their heads next to a person they haven't the guts to be honest with? Is ignorance truly bliss? Is pride that comes before the fall bitterer?

We live this one life only once. Perhaps at the end of our mortal veil, once removed, we disappear out of existence forever. One chance only to "be" the person we could be. Forget heaven and hell, forget reincarnation, forget karma, your awareness is this one life, nothing more, what happened before is forgotten, what happens after is anyone's guess, for now you choose how you live this life, no one else gets to do that unless you give that choice away.

You enter the partnership with lust, perhaps blooming into love and trust and you give that love and trust to someone you have chosen to bestow this upon. They are seen as "worthy". If they fail you, then who is to blame?

If they agree to love and trust you back, tell you this and then do the opposite behind your back, are you any lesser? What is in your control? You and you only. This isn't blindly trusting someone, but an agreement has occurred and with that agreement, trust is given until that trust is revoked by you. You try hard to hold up your trust and love, thinking that the other is trying just as hard.

The years go by and part of the agreement should be that you two communicate and work to staying close and intimate. Nothing stays the same and relationships are very much an evolving, living organism that needs care and feeding, for neglect withers it and kills it.

Looking back in your past together, after the trust has been shattered, you feel the fool, the blind soothsayer that couldn't read the bird's entrails properly, to see the signs of dishonesty, of lack of respect, of cowardice, but I ask you, are you the fool?

Certainly the fool is the coward not living the life they should be living.

The coward that recognizes that they have chosen wrong, and must end it.

The person who "has their cake and eats it too".

Is that fulfilling?

Is that really "being"?

That partner is less of a person as they straddle two different worlds that cannot exist together, lies and deceit over honesty and integrity. Love versus lust. Oh sure they laugh behind the trusting partner's back, "how could anyone trust a person like them?"

A person like them, they already are distinguishing themselves as something else, something not worthy. It is a jest of the fool, laugher of a hyena, the brazen cackle of embarrassment as deep down they know themselves for who they are, a person not worthy of the love and trust of their better more deserving partner.

Take solace in the fact that regardless of what the other partner does behind your back that you have loved fully with all your heart. You have experienced a fullness that throughout their tenure, they have searched for and never found that fulfillment that you have experienced, that bliss of ignorance, of faith, not blind, mind you, but of trusting faith that exudes an attractiveness to others who can appreciate such passion and resolve. You are no fool, you are "being" all that you can be. Fulfilling that which makes us the entities that we are.

is no stigma attached to love and trust and faith. The people who do see this as a weakness are not worthy of you, for they cannot see what they are missing. They are the true chumps, doomed to feel regret on a daily basis, either as they stare across the pillow at their partner beside them, asleep in unimagined contented bliss and love, or while they search for something to fill that empty space within them. An orgasm is a wonderful thing, a high that you can ride to conclusion, but it, like everything else in life, ends.

What happens next?

There will be a day of reckoning, where you ask yourself did I truly live a life that I am proud of? The mirror beckons every morning as you stare back at the person that you have become. Through every decision you have made, the sum total adds up to either a person you don't recognize stares back at you, or a smile greets you each morning as you brush your teeth and you whisper to yourself, "Hello, old friend!"