Who is the Real Alex? Ch. 02

The palms of my hands sting and burn, my knuckles white under my taut skin but I do not loosen my grip on the steering wheel. The road is straight and empty but I check the rear view mirror every few seconds expecting to see Alex behind me. I am relieved at each and every glance but a horrid unsettling feeling buries itself deep in the pit of my stomach.

I have no idea where I am going. Just an overwhelming need to get as far away from Alex as possible. As far away as I can from the stranger I have been sharing a life with. I can't fathom how the man I loved, trusted, shared my darkest desires with is the same man I just witnessed in the library.

I try to formulate a plan but with no family I am stuck. All of my close friends I know through Alex and I know in my heart their loyalty lies with him. A sobering thought occurs to me, even if I did have living relatives, I would only be putting them at risk. I am I realise truly alone.

As the minutes turn into hours memories of Alex interrupt my thoughts, except now I do not look back on them fondly. I look for the lies, hidden clues, anything that could help make sense of all of this. I think about how much of a fool he must have thought me. Hanging on his every word. Believing he was one person when clearly he was another. I feel so many things, far too much for one person to process in one go. I feel sick and betrayed but overwhelmingly I feel scared.

I may not have ever known the real Alex but I know how intelligent he is, how calculated he can be. I realise I can now add ruthless to the list. I am out of my depth here and deep in my core I know no matter where I go he will find me.

As the sun begins to rise I pull over onto a dirt path. It strikes me as odd that when my world is falling apart the world itself continues it's routine like any other day. Leaning forward in my seat I pinch the bridge of my nose between my finger and thumb and try to think of a plan. Where am I going to go? Where even in bloody hell am I? I haven't once paid any attention to the road signs.

I realise now that is probably a good thing. In fact that is the first smart thing I've done. He is going to check all of my favourite places surely? Won't he assume I will go somewhere familiar? Yes, being in the middle of nowhere right now is a good thing.

Out of nowhere silent tears start falling from my eyes. Flashes of Alex in the library pour into my mind, I can hear the words he spoke as clearly as if he were saying them to me right now.

"Less of a trophy but definitely a whore,"

My clenched fist slams on the steering wheel causing the horn to sound off loudly and a group of birds fly out of a nearby tree startled by my outburst.

"OK Mia, now isn't the time! You need a plan. A real good fucking plan." I say aloud attempting to gain some clarity.

Alex is smart, so god damn smart. I know I need to be smarter.

Looking down at myself I see my first problem. I am wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. No shoes, no pants, hell no fucking knickers! My palms are red and my knees stained with dry blood. I surprise myself by letting out a giggle albeit a nervous one. I am hardly incon-fucking-spicous! I am bound to draw attention to myself looking like this.

I pull down the visor to reveal a small mirror. Taking in my reflection I realise I look worse than I thought. I look bat shit crazy. My long brunette hair is tangled and matted. My cheeks are wet and my usually vivid green eyes are now dull and lifeless. My whole face is puffy and sore from the tears that have been spilling.

I spot the holdall on the passenger seat."Oh please, please, please," I say aloud hoping I find something, anything of use.

Dragging it onto my lap I pull back the zip and my hands explore. I toss the magazines I find onto the back seat. Next I find the plane tickets and our passports. I throw the tickets onto the back seat with the magazines but place the passports next to me on the passenger seat.

I find a brown envelope filled with Euro notes and place the envelope on top of the passports. Downing one of the two bottles of water I find, I place the other in my keep pile. I empty out the rest of the bags contents which include a digital camera; my fluffy flight socks; half a pack of cigarettes with a lighter stuffed into the box and Alex's I pod.

Stepping out of the car I note how the early morning breeze feels soothing against my raw face. I light up a cigarette. Having only ever tried a cigarette once before I start coughing as soon as I inhale but strangely I find the cigarette calming so I continue. Taking the magazines and flight tickets off of the back seat I dump them in the empty boot and repack the holdall with my supplies.

Taking to the road again I vow to focus and look for somewhere with signs of life. Eventually I come across a quaint village and park up opposite a small array of shops. My eyes fall upon a tiny convenience store, a post office, chemist, second hand shop and bank. I spot a couple of people out walking their dogs but otherwise the place feels deserted.

None of the shops are open yet and I use the time to try and think of a plausible reason for entering any of these the way I look. I consider putting on the fluffy socks but worry that will make me look crazier. Is that even possible? I think to myself.

Ideally I would go into the second hand shop first and find something ... anything to wear. But with only Euro's I am going to have to go into the post office first. I cringe and try desperately to think of another plan but sooner than I would like I see an older man make his way to the post office and unlock the door.

With no reasonable explanation for my appearance I grab the holdall and make a painful walk of shame from the car to the post office. The bell ding's loudly as I enter.

"I will be with you in a minute," A gentle voice calls out.

Standing at the till my face burning in shame I just prey he is quick. Just get in and get out before this place fills up.

"Ding!"

I hear an audible gasp from behind but I do not turn around. If the ground could swallow me up right now I would willingly allow it. I know my face is a mess, my feet are dirty and my knees are covered in blood. This person gasped just from seeing the back of me!

I feel a lump in my throat and curse the tears forming as a result of my shame. Feeling incredibly self-conscious I gently tug the t-shirt I am wearing down but know it does little to hide my modesty. My face is growing hotter and hotter and I just want to run out of here as fast as my legs will carry me.

Instead I stand knowing if I leave I will only face the same shame in another village or town.

The post office worker comes out from the back room humming pleasantly to himself and lifts his head with a smile only to come to a sudden halt.

"My god, are you OK? Have you been in an accident?" His face etched with concern.

It Physically hurts to speak with the lump in my throat but somehow I manage. "Please could I change these Euro's to pound notes?" I pull out the envelope and place it on to the counter.

"Lovey, what is going on, are you on your own, is there someone I can call for you?" The man asks reaching for the phone.

The person stood behind me now steps forward and I can see from the corner of my eyes she is a small elderly lady, maybe late 60s with a grey perm and a plump figure. She places a hand on my shoulder and I physically flinch under her touch but do not move from under her hand.

The lady speaks, her voice gentle and calm. "Hows about we get this lady her money Patrick?"

Patrick seems to take the hint but the look of concern on his face does not waver. He slides open the safety box and the lady pushes the envelope in and turns me slightly to face her.

"Deary, my name is Rita. I work at the second hand shop a few doors down," The ladies hand squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. "hows about once you have your money we pop on in there and see if we can find you something to wear? You must be awful cold. I can make us a nice pot of tea whilst were at it ay?"

Looking her in the eyes I silently nod and feel the warmth when she removes her coat and places it over my shoulders.

"Eight hundred and eighty nine pounds and seventy eight pence." Patrick says passing me the money placed back in the envelope.

I mumble my thanks and make to leave being guided by Rita when suddenly I turn around towards Patrick. "If anyone comes in asking ..."

Rita cuts me off. "Patrick wont say a word."

Patrick is quick to reply. "Of course not."

For an older lady Rita moves fast ushering me into the shop and locking the door behind us. "Now hows about we find you something to wear. What size are you deary, a ten?"

"Yes a ten." I reply

"And your shoe size?" Rita enquires.

"5." I reply feeling very awkward.

"Well don't just stand there, get rummaging." Rita smiles with a twinkle in her eye.

I find a pair of black jeans and Rita finds me a white blouse. I look through the shelves of shoes and pick a black pair of trainers.

"Now don't go thinking me improper deary, but I have to ask ... are you wearing any underwear?"

I flush and start to stutter.

"I will take that as a no." Rita continues "no need to go red in the cheeks. Now I know I may be an old bird but many a times in my more youthful days I was without my bloomers." Rita says giving me a wink.

I chuckle and find myself really fond of this lady whom I have only just met. Rita finds me a pair of bikini bottoms and a sports bra. She tends to my hands and knees with a small first aid kit. "Now, now deary, we will have you good as new in no time." Rita says gently dabbing at my cuts with an antiseptic wipe causing my knees to sting. I get dressed before sitting down to a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits. Everything fits well and I gingerly dunk a biscuit into my tea.

Rita sits opposite me and starts sipping her tea. I notice a slight tremor in her hands so often seen in the elderly but her face is strong and her eyes vibrant.

"Deary, you must answer me now," Rita speaks interrupting my silent observations. "have you been attacked, has somebody done things to you?" Her face is serious.

"No, I fell and I ..."

"OK deary, no need to say any more, I think I understand."

Rita of course does not understand but really what am I going to say. Rita thinks I'm some battered wife. What else could she think?

"Do you have somewhere to go, family?" She presses on.

I shake my head.

Rita ponders this information before speaking again. "OK, is he likely to find you, is he a drunk or is he a resourceful man?"

"He has money, lots of money and people who work for him, who will do terrible things for him," I reply hardly believing I am talking about the same Alex who only a matter of hours ago made me feel so safe and loved. Rita looks with her wise eyes and listens patiently, not passing judgement. I continue "maybe I should go to the police? But he has influence, this I know and could they really protect me?"

"Probably not deary, a man with money and influence ... well the odds aren't stacked in your favour I am sorry to say. No, it pains me to say this but I've lived a lifetime seeing men with power get away with things you couldn't even imagine." Rita looks as if she is recalling some distant memory but continues. "Your real problem deary, is men like that think they own you, and always want what they can't have, so if you do run you need to keep running. Is he likely to know you are here? Is this a village you are familiar with? I've never seen you before but if you have a connection to this place,"

"That is the weird thing Rita," I cut in. "when I left he didn't chase after me, I kept checking the road but he never followed. No I've never been here before, I just kept driving and driving ..."

Now It's Rita's turn to cut in. "Maybe he didn't follow because he didn't need to."

I frown unsure of what she could mean. Then panic hits me at full speed.

"Oh my god Rita. The car! He can track it!!" I'm up out of my chair now. "Shit. Shit. Shit. How could I have been so stupid?"

"Wait here deary, I am going to pull my car around back and get you to the train station, grab anything you need out of the shop, don't be shy now."

I run into the shop front and grab a baseball cap and a hoodie. Throwing them both on I head out the back door grabbing my holdall and find Rita ready and waiting.

"Should we lock the door?" I ask

"Deary the most exciting thing to happen to this village in the last 5 years is you! Now lets get going."

No more encouragement needed I jump in to the passenger seat and we are gone.

Pulling up to the train station I put my hand in my bag to pay Rita for the things I have taken.

"Now don't go insulting me deary, the things are yours free of charge," Rita says with a firm voice.

"Rita, I don't know how to thank you" I say sincerely.

"You can thank me by listening OK, the train won't leave for a few minutes yet."

I turn to Rita looking her straight in the eyes.

"If he is anything like I suspect," Rita starts. "He won't stop looking until he finds you, now that doesn't mean you should make it easy, it doesn't mean he will find you. But if he does, be smart, smarter than him. If you can get away once you can get away again, you understand? Don't antagonise him, don't make things harder on yourself. There is no shame in survival deary, no matter the circumstances."

"I understand. Thank you so much Rita."

"Off you go now, and deary, when you get a chance ... do something with your hair." Rita smiles and gives my hand a quick squeeze.

Was that his plan I wonder. Wait to see where I end up and come and get me. Has he been sat calmly behind a laptop watching me whilst I have been running petrified? Anger bubbles up inside me but the anger is at myself for being so damn stupid.

He will soon realise I have abandoned the car and it won't take him long to figure out I caught the train. I decide as soon as I am off this train I will catch another, and maybe another. Surely that will help me be harder to track down.

I am only on the train 20 minutes or so before it reaches the end of the line. Jumping off I look at the other trains in the station. I worry making a conscious choice of where I am going will only make it easier for Alex to find me. I may have not known him but he definitely knows me, maybe even better than I know myself. Grabbing some chocolate bars and a bottle of water from the vending machines dotted around the station, I jump on the next train that pulls in taking no notice of the end destination.

A little over 3 hours and I arrive at the final stop. I am aching and exhausted now and can't face another train journey. Before even stepping out of the station I decide that no matter where I am, this is the place I will stay for at least a day or two.

Exploring the streets I am surprised to find lots of busy and bustling shops selling rock, candy floss, ice-creams and such. I am at a seaside town and realise this is perfect. It doesn't take me long to find a bed and breakfast and soon enough I am in a quaint room that looks like it was last decorated in the 1970s. I plan to empty the holdall, count what money I have left and make a plan but as soon as I get comfortable on the bed I fall into a deep sleep.

----

I kneel, cast my eyes down and wait. The light from the candles flicker gently and a soft symphony fills the room. I allow the music to wash over me and find myself trying to anticipate what lies ahead.

"Tsk tsk. You're slouching!" Alex comments darkly from where he sits.

My eyes glance up and immediately I cast them back down regretting the involuntary reaction. Alex sits in a deep red leather arm chair with one hand lazily resting over the arm holding a glass of brandy. Straightening my back I try my best to regain the proper position. Alert to his critique I wonder if he will let my mistakes slide. Will he show mercy? The anticipation of what lies ahead starts to get the better of me. I hear Alex take a long sip of his drink and note the music starting to build ever so slightly. I feel a deep dark pull of desire between my legs and my nipples harden expectantly.

"Tell me what you want," Alex orders, his voice forceful and firm.

"I want to please you sir." I respond.

"Well naturally, but don't play coy Mia. What do you want?" Alex replies. I can hear the amusement in his tone.

All manner of filthy and glorious ideas rush through my mind. I feel my cheeks flush betraying my thoughts and desires. I know why he has asked me this question. Because I can't answer. Because I won't. I want nothing more than to beg him to do all manner of things but to say the specifics out loud, causes me great embarrassment and I know that amuses him. Alex of course has his ways of making me tell him. Of making me break through the barrier of embarrassment. Always on the brink of orgasm, he gets me so close, frenzied even and then starts to withdraw his attention forcing me to share my deepest darkest desires with him. In that moment, so close to orgasm I lose all sense of control. In that moment I am completely at his mercy, willing to say anything, do anything he desires.

I open my mouth but close it just as fast. The words get lost on my tongue and my cheeks grow hotter and hotter. My embarrassment holds me back, I know this but somehow it has a power over me that prevents me from letting go.

"Such a shame Mia, I had planned to grant your every wish tonight, but if all you wish is to please me then very well. It would please me to see you on your hands and knees, to crawl slowly towards me. Make sure to look me in the eyes as you do so."

I place my hands on the warm carpet beneath me and start to crawl. My eyes find his and my embarrassment magnifies but so too does my desire. My pussy lips are slick with arousal and my clit gently throbs. The gentle movement as one knee moves in front of the other feels delicious deep between my thighs and I find myself keeping my legs pressed closely together as I move creating the smallest amount of pressure. Stopping just short of his legs I maintain my position, on my hands and knees with my eyes glued to his. He reaches forward with his free hand and slaps my right breast gently before taking my nipple between his finger and thumb. Pulling, twisting and tugging, my nipple swells further and my mouth parts as a soft groan escapes my lips. Bringing the glass of brandy to my mouth, Alex allows a sip to pass my lips. The liquid slides over my tongue and down my throat leaving a wave of heat behind matched only by the heat of my pussy desperate for contact. Placing the glass down on the small table aside the chair Alex releases my nipple and a rush of sensation floods back causing me to gasp. Repeating this action on my other nipple Alex stares not removing his gaze from my face.

At the sound of Alex clicking his fingers I change my position. I inch closer to him, sitting on the floor before him spreading my legs wide displaying myself to him. My hands behind supporting my body. I watch as his eyes stop at my soaking pussy, spread for his inspection.

Alex pulls hard on my sensitive nipples causing my body to arch.

"Spread wider." Alex demands.

I do so and can feel my juices dripping. His fingers pull harder, tugging on my nipples and I can feel myself starting to rock back and forth ever so gently.

"Stand." Alex commands as he lifts up off his chair releasing his grasp suddenly.

Quickly I stand and I feel a confidence that I have only ever experienced with Alex. I still feel embarrassed and vulnerable but I feel powerful at the same time.

His eyes are filled with lust and wanting as he surveys my body.

"Stay where you are, do not move." Alex demands.