Who Knows What The Future Holds

She nodded.

"I figured you were going to have to stay here for a bit. Now what you came here with was a little sparse, so I just thought I would punch up your wardrobe a little with some necessities to make your stay here a little more comfortable."

She was speechless. Finally she said. 'You didn't have to do this."

I looked at her, grabbed her shoulders and said. "Yes I do. You can't keep walking around in my pajamas and robe, and you're other outfit just won't do for outside. Even if you wanted to leave, you couldn't in the clothes that you have."

She nodded.

I got excited from her excitement and sat her down on the couch.

"Madge at the store helped me. She picked the stuff out for me since I have no idea what you kids wear today."

"Well, I'll have to thank Madge sometime then." She said as I handed her the first parcel and she tore it open with excitement.

Madge had been thorough, god bless her. As Jenny opened each parcel she kept saying, "Oh I need this." Toiletries, a toothbrush, girls shampoo and conditioner, floss, antiperspirant, hairdryer, hair brush, bands for her hair, and the clothes. They were simple outfits, some warm pajamas, slippers, and basic day clothing. I lost track fairly quickly, but she seemed to gather more energy as she went through all the parcels. At one point her eyes got teary as she thanked me for the twentieth time.

"I haven't had someone do something nice like this to me since before momma got sick." She said.

That was several years ago, I thought. She was in bad shape if this was true. It made me feel better as I told myself she was deserving of this good turn of luck. Well at least for now. Who knows what the future holds? For now, I got the feeling this was the happiest she'd been in quite sometime.

It was getting dark outside when she had finished unwrapping everything, and she then grabbed everything and started back to her room to put everything away. I called out to her to put her toiletries in the guest bathroom. She could consider that her bathroom for now.

She came back for the last few items, when she spotted the last parcel. I knew what it was and had forgotten it with all the excitement.

"Jenny," I said. "There's one more present to unwrap. Unlike the others, I actually thought this one up and picked it out all by myself."

She took the parcel, sat next to me on the couch and unwrapped it.

It was the teddy bear.

She thanked me as she started to cry. She impulsively gave me a hug, still clutching the teddy bear.

"I thought," I started. "With all you've gone through, you could use a friend of your own in a strange place like this cabin, with a strange man you never met till yesterday."

"Thank you," she said. She stifled back more words and then just broke down and started crying. The hug barrier had been broken by her, and I felt comfortable holding her and comforting her while she held on to the teddy bear and sobbed into my chest.

We sat there together for a long time. Me holding her, and she crying into my chest.

"No one's been this nice to me in such a long time." She blubbered.

I shushed her and held her tighter.

She fell asleep eventually, still in my arms. All cried out, she just sort of faded out with the tears and the crying to be replaced with heavy breathing. I picked her up gently and carried her to her bed.

The next morning she already had breakfast ready and on the table when I stumbled from my bedroom into the kitchen. She seemed more content, a little happy. She had identified a role in the household of being the cook for us and felt more comfortable fitting in. She was wearing one of the new outfits, which fit her far better than my oversized pajamas did.

"Good morning!" she greeted me with a motion to my chair and the food already dished out onto my plate.

I smiled and took a seat and dug in. I hadn't realized how much I missed freshly cooked meals. Cereal and toast had become my staple since I moved out, and in the winter months, a cold breakfast just doesn't kick start you as well as a hot one.

"I see you're wearing one of your new outfits." I said between bites.

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm glad they fit." I added.

"Thank you again for getting me the extra clothes," she started.

"It needed to be done. You only had the one outfit, and couldn't very well run around here naked when that was in the wash." I said.

She gave me a funny look, and I added quickly, "It's way too cold for that."

She smiled, but I think she was smiling for another reason.

After breakfast she would hear none of my arguments as she cleaned up and refused to let me help.

"You've done enough around here for me, let me pull my keep." She said.

I let her. If this made her feel comfortable while staying trapped in a snowbound cabin with a stranger, then so be it.

I sat at the table and watched her put things away, wash the pans and put the dishes in the dishwasher. The clothes fit her very well, I noticed. She had a very nice body. A bit underweight, perhaps due to all the stress and fatigue that she had gone through, but it was a tight sexy body to go with her very pleasant face. I shook myself and realized that I didn't even know how old she was. Dirty old man, get your mind out of the gutter.

"Jenny," I asked. "just how old are you?"

She finished setting the dishwasher and sat down at the table.

I guess it was as good a time as any to get some details out of the way.

"I just turned eighteen." She said.

Hmmmm, I thought. "Then why were you going with your uncle?"

She shrugged. "No other place to go. No family, our apartment was rented and we hadn't paid rent in months, and I had no job. No friends either since I was taking care of mom all the time."

"I know it's a little abrupt, but can I ask you what plans you have?"

She sat still for a moment thinking.

"I didn't have any."

"College?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I had to drop out of school."

Her mom really did take all her time and energy. In one regard I pitied her for loosing her mother with all the energy she had spent taking care of her, but on the other hand, the toll it took on this girl was so much that her mom's death was a blessing. She had lost her life as well, and now came the hard part of picking up and finding a new life.

"Well," I said as I changed tactics seeing the agitation from my questioning, "Why don't you give it some time while you're here to figure out what you would like to do. I would be more than happy to help you."

"Thanks," she said as she stared into my eyes, trying to figure me out.

It was a piercing stare, it became a bit uncomfortable for me so I changed subjects.

"Ok, Jenny, how about you ask me some questions. Get to know me for a change." I smiled as best I could to disarm her.

She leaned forward in the chair and started firing questions at me. Clearly she had wanted to ask me these for sometime but didn't find the right time or chance to do it.

"What do you do?"

I told her about my consulting business, just general details.

"Why are you out here all alone?"

I paused at that question, then decided that the truth was best.

"I moved out here after my divorce to get away from it all."

"Divorce?" she asked.

I nodded and just like most teens, she asked me why I got a divorce, unaware that that was a highly personal question. The question made me cringe and literally hurt inside. She saw this and tried to relent. I shook my head and said that it was ok, I could answer it. She was quiet while I told her about my marriage, about Louise, about work, about her lover, about my failure to keep Louise happy and in love with me. I poured everything out. Once I started I just couldn't stop. Some of the parts I told were in anger, but most of it was from pain and failure. I paused when done and she sat staring at me for a long moment then said.

"The truth was she didn't love you, she loved someone else."

I was stunned. It hit me like a pile of bricks. All this time I was blaming myself and second guessing my moves, actions and inactions. I had wallowed for two years in self-loathing, and it took twenty minutes for this girl to completely tear apart my argument. Such a detachment, no emotions to cloud the issues, she had cut right to the bone of the issue. It was so clear. She loved someone else, not me. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't her fault, she just wasn't in love with me. Affairs of the heart, more powerful that rational thought. Unpredictable, powerful. I felt my outlook change on that statement. The world had turned its page and a new story could now begin.

She fired off another question.

"How old are you?"

I smiled. "Thirty six. But I still feel like I'm twenty five."

She smiled back.

I got her involved with some chores around the cabin, each day there were things to do to keep the cabin maintained and having the extra set of hands lightened the load. Although the cabin was a modern built house, things like bringing in firewood for the evening, taking the trash out, cleaning the porch, feeding Bessie and other things needed to be done on a daily basis. Letting her take on some of those responsibilities freed me up to concentrate on the next contract I needed to prepare for.

Over the next couple of days, we had worked out a routine, where she managed to wrestle away most of the household chores from me, leaving me to concentrate on the contract in hand in my study. I could see her transfer some of that caring that she had for her mother onto me. I in turn allowed her to and started to enjoy her company. Evenings we sat on the couch together watching movies and reading next to the fire. She had managed to sit increasingly closer to me as time went on. I buried myself into my work, but thoughts of her pulled me out of work every so often, as I thought about the new spirit that had been infused in the cabin. The cabin now felt like a home with a new healthy energy within it.

By the end of the week I had made arrangements to travel to meet with my client. I was to leave in a few days once the roads had been cleared. It was a subject I was dreading to bring up with Jenny. She would have to decide what she wanted to do before I left. I was willing to help her get a foothold somewhere, help her move out, get a job, finish school, whatever. I could afford it, that's for sure, but a large part of me had hoped that she would decide to stay here in the cabin with me. I had quickly gotten used to her, and truth be told I enjoyed her being around, and having someone to talk to. I quickly put that out of my mind, racking it up to flights of fancy of an old man with a fools wish. I was twice her age, and the last thing she would be interested in was staying out her in the middle of nowhere, cleaning and cooking for an old man.

That evening, after dinner we sat down in front of the fire and chatted. I brought up the pending trip, and she nodded and waited for me to continue. I swallowed.

"A week ago I asked you what you wanted to do next. I said I was willing to help you, and I mean that." I said. "Have you given that any thought?"

She nodded but kept silent.

I prodded some more.

"Jenny, we should resolve this before I leave on my business trip. When I said I was willing to help you, I meant it." I looked her in the eyes.

"I'm pretty well off, Jenny. I don't want you to think that what you wanted would be too much to ask for from me. If you want to finish your schooling and go to college, I would be happy to make that happen."

She looked at me, a tear down her eye.

"If you want to find an apartment and get a job I can help find one for you and help."

She started crying and shaking. I guess she didn't think I was that generous.

"It's ok, Jenny." I said as I held her. "I'm willing to help, don't worry about expenses."

She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. "Don't you want me?" she blubbered.

"What?" I asked, a bit shocked.

She broke down, thinking that that meant no.

"Jenny," I reassured her.

"Don't you like me?" she asked again.

I nodded. "Of course I do," I said.

"Then why are you sending me away?" She cried and buried her head into my chest.

So that's why she was crying! Just call me dense! All this time I thought she was crying tears of joy about my willingness to spend the extra dollar for her, and she thought I didn't want her anymore.

I shushed her and held her tighter.

"Jenny," I said. "I've really enjoyed you here with me. You've helped me realize things about myself that have helped me with my pain. I never thought that you would want to stay here after the roads have been cleared."

She looked at me, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"But I do," she said.

"I would like that," I said.

"But it can't be like it has been," she replied.

My heart sank. We had grown close in a short time, something about to traumatized individuals helping each other. But now she was setting boundaries. I was willing to accept that, but deep down I wanted something more. I couldn't allow myself to think it, but in my core, I knew this was going to hurt.

She saw the look on my eyes, the pain, and I'm pretty sure she knew what I was thinking, because the next moment, she held my face and kissed me. She kissed me deeply, passionately, and I returned that passion with equal intensity. A jumble of nerves and emotions bounced within me, as my greatest hopes came true and my core responded with kind.

We finally parted when we ran out of air. She stroked my face as I held her, the fire crackling in the background. She smiled and added, "It can't be like it was, I can't stay as your cook and cleaner, but I will stay as your lover."

My face broke into a bright grin as I kissed her.