Why me?

I've just been thinking about something.

Just a little thing about catching the eye of someone who wants me and makes plans on how to have me. Someone I secretly want as well but also want to keep away from. Because I know they would take me over. They would take control. No one has ever really been able to do that. I know I want that but it's frightening to. How would I respond to someone I couldn't easily charm? Someone who'd simply move ahead with what ever his agenda was? How would I handle being powerless, with nothing I could do even in full blown heathen, hellion Irish wildkatt temper, to stop or even slow him down?

I was thinking casually about a question I was asked. This is a hot subject. Would I ever have sex for money? I've thought about that before. I remember taking a Cosmo test with a friend asking would you make a good mistress? My shy, timid little girl friend ended up in the hell no category. I was in the highest yes one. Not sure that's good or bad. I think a lot had to do with the submissive thing. The desire I have to serve and to please those who matter to me.

I was also thinking laughingly, not serious, well that would be one way to make sure the rent gets paid til I get a new job.

Was a night that I couldn't sleep. I always have my bedroom window open a bit, even if it's only 10 degrees out, I need fresh air. So suddenly I realize some woman in the apartment across from me is just sobbing and sobbing. She's sobbing and saying things I can't make out and suddenly this totally cold, flat, no emotion voice speaks up, saying "grab a life bitch." Well I bolt upright at that, and being the do anything that comes to mind woman I am, yank up the window shade to see if I can see anything. Katts are curious, after all. Besides, was black in my bedroom. No one would have seen me peeking.

Nope, nothing to see, and that woman keeps crying so of course now I really can't sleep. I thought the guy was a fucking asshole to be able to make and listen to a woman cry that hard and obviously not give a shit. And I wondered why the hell that woman was still there? Because that would never happen in my world!

So the grab a life bitch guy wasn't anything hot to me but it did start me thinking about hard core, bad ass men, who actually were decent in their own devious, force of nature ways. What woman wouldn't get turned on by the thought of a man cold to the rest of the world that she made burn?

So I'm thinking, fuck, no way I'm going to get sleep while she's crying. I yank the window down to just a tiny open crack and get comfy again. I wonder, what's something sexy exciting to make stories up about til I finally fall asleep?

What if the man in that apartment across from me wasn't a grab a life bitch lowlife but someone 'licious, sexy who had an eye on me, just waiting for an opportunity, an opening, some tiny little thing he could use to get what he had made up his mind to have?

He's been watching me since I moved in, the shades open, sitting on my bed, curled up around my laptop, hearing me giggle, and laugh exuberantly out loud. He catches quick glimpses of long, bare legs untwisting, swinging free of the laptop as I uncurl off the bed to dart out of the room.

He's heard me cum, hot summmer days, shades down, but window thrown wide to catch any stray whisp of breeze, not thinking about the fact that if I can hear him, then he can hear me.

He knows that I mewl when I cum. And that I cum hard and fast and long. And he knows that I have no lover, no man, that I cum by my own fingers and whatever toys he can only guess about.

He's met my eyes, once, after I slipped back into my T-shirt and twisted onto my knees to yank the shade back up the better to get those breezes.

And he knows, by the shock and mortification that bloomed instantly in my eyes, the red that filled my cheeks, the way the shades slammed instantly down the second after our eyes locked, that I'm still the kinda girl that daddy warned about boys like him.

So he makes his plans. He watches, he listens, and he learns that I've just lost my job. And he sees a possible opening.

A few weeks later he's close enough to hear me talking to the caretaker; a sweet guy who knows about my situation, knows that unemployment benefits are hard to stretch enough to pay for everything. He hears me asking Jake what I have to pay after the first penalty and smiles. He has his opening.

He's made sure over the last few weeks, months, to talk to me, both of us leaving our apartment buildings at the same time. Just casual things, cold today, or, nice to see some sun.

He's made me feel used to him, that good looking man who talks to me casually. He's just a neighbor. Just someone polite to another tenant in the two buildings Jake caretakes for.

I think he's totally hot. But a guy like him doesn't notice someone like me.

He's not from my world. Why would he notice me? Just a country girl suddenly having to make it on her own.

I'm coming back from the store and's he's standing outside his apartment building finishing a smoke. He looks up as I approach and smiles at me.

"How goes the search?"

I blink at him. "Pardon? What?"

"For the new job."

"Oh." I blush a bit, hating that I'm not working. And not good at fibbing or fobbing. "Still looking."

He nods. "Things getting a bit tight, huh?"

He's always been polite and nice, but I toss him a cool look. "Doing just fine."

He laughs softly and suddenly I feel like I should run, just bolt for my apartment, not stay hear to listen, to hear. I need to be not here. I know that. But he's talking to me again. And I was raised to be polite. Which means You don't just suddenly turn and run like hell away from someone who is speaking to you.

"You're not doing fine. You can't pay this month's rent on time."

I want to slap him. But I think that would be really stupid. So I give him my most arrogant look.

"I'll be a few days late. That happens sometimes."

"I bet $200 would take care of that problem." He drawls.

I'm just looking at him, confused. I don't have that 200 dollars. I don't have anyone to ask to borrow it to me. My check won't come for a week. What the hell is he nattering about?

He suddenly slides a hand into his pocket and pulls out two bills. Two hundred dollar bills.

I look at them, wondering, what? He's always been so friendly and casually nice. Is he suddenly taunting me that he has money when I'm hurting and terrified over the lack of it? What the fuck is going on here?

"This would help you pay your rent for the month, wouldn't it?" He says softly.

"What are you..."

"You let me fuck you, this is yours."

No thought required. I just react, and try to slap him. But he catches my hand before it's half way to its target.

"Are you sure. No one will ever know."

I jerk free hard, and back step fast. "No, not ever, stay away from me!" I turn, and run back to my apartment.

And behind me he laughs.

Two days later, still no job in sight, I get a disconnection notice for the over due phone bill. I can't lose the phone. I have to be able to get calls for possible jobs. I stare down at the bit of paper in my hands, frantically trying to figure a solution. I can't find one. I think maybe I'm totally fucked now.

The next day I come back from more job searching and he's there.

I stop dead half way up the block. I can't. I know if I let him in at all it's not a good. I know this.

I wait until I can breathe again then walk all the way down the sidewalk til I can dash across the street and fly into my apartment building.

But he's there in front of me.

"Just a one time thing. Just give you some breathing space."

I stare at him, wide eyed. Why is he doing this to me? I don't want to end up evicted. I want and need that little help until I get the new job I know I'll find. Why is this the only way?

"No one will ever know." He says as he did that first time.

I can't even talk. I just open the door, and hold it open behind me a moment for him to pass through after me.

He follows on my heels, silent, as I make my way up the stairs to my apartment at the top of the building.

I unlock the door and head down the short hallway. He can lock the door if he cares to. I don't.

I pay him no mind, getting out of my boots, sliding my jacket off. I hear the click of the apartment door locking behind me, and suddenly he's on me, and I'm being dropped with control onto the floor. I think I'd maybe scream, but a hard mouth is choking any sound I'd think about making. And he is kissing me till I'm desperate for air, letting me grab a few panting gasps, then attacking my lips again.

My sweater is pulled off of me. I don't wear a bra, and suddenly my nipples are being nipped and pinched as my jeans are roughly unbuttoned, unzipped and yanked down and off my legs. My panties are ripped off, and I think for a ridiculous moment, glad they weren't a pair I really liked.

It's like a whirlwind and I'm so lost and caught up in it. I'm inspiring this fierce hunger?

Before I can wonder much more, I hear the rasp of a zipper roughly jerked down.

Oh shit. I yowl, when I'm suddenly fucked into with a hard cock that fills me tight, all the way deep down in.

He just fucks me hard. It's been months for him, watching and wanting me, after all. The only thought on his mind is the tight pussy he's been plotting how to have.

I can't get away. He's holding onto my wrists, his body heavy on mine, slamming in and out of me.

And it's just been so long for me! That's the only reason I am pushing up to meet every downward thrust of the cock that's fucking deep into me. The only reason why I suddenly cum, my cunt clutching tight, and rippling around the the flesh fucking me.

That makes him cum, jetting up into me, filling, claiming me.

I lie there, lax and trembling as he slides free and leaves without a word.

It's not done. I try to convince myself it is. I suck at that kinda lie. I roll over and push to my feet to make my unsteady way to the shower.

I'll worry about it tomorrow.

Not sure sure how far I'm going with this, but a ways. She doesn't have a clue what she's up against. When you're too "properly" brought up to throw a fit when you know you never lost your keys and think it's rude to accuse someone you know did take them it's a bad thing. She's kinda in a world of trouble already.(That was a hint about what's to come)