Why Me?

"Come on Rick, all you have to do is ask. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no. You can't dance if you don't ask."

"Sure Tom, that's why three girls have come up and asked you to dance. Have you ever been told no?"

"Sure I have, at least I think I have."

"If you had, you'd know it asshole. Go ahead and have fun, I'll get around to asking later, when some of the girls start getting desperate."

Of course I didn't. I watched for a few songs, then I went out for a smoke, went back in for part of a song, then left. Tom was wrong; there are worse things than being told no. The last time I asked a girl to dance she laughed at me, then she told all the other girls around her about it and they laughed too. I didn't ask anymore. I probably never would again.

While I was still at the dance I noticed something odd. Lena Stills didn't dance with anyone. This made no sense to me. Lena was a knockout. I had had a crush on her since 4th grade when I moved near the neighborhood she lived in. I used to hide in the bushes across the street from her house and watch her walk around at night. She wore baby doll pajamas to bed. I had seen them many times when she would sit in the front room of her house watching TV before bedtime. I was never able to see into her room to watch her change, but I sure wished that I could. I didn't understand why no one asked her to dance. There was no way she would refuse everyone. If she didn't want to dance, then why was she here?

I went home to my room and brooded. What was I going to do? I was 17 and a senior and I had no girlfriend and little prospect of getting one. I had a car, not a pretty muscle car but a '76 Mercury Monarch sedan. I would love to have a Camaro or Mustang, but my folks were not rich and I had to buy something I could afford by working at McDonalds. My dad refused to let me go into debt for a car, which also kept my insurance down to something I could afford. The Merc was a nice enough car, though bland, and I had gotten it cheap because it needed a muffler and water pump. Dad helped me with those, and the several other repairs needed later.

The dance I had gone home from was a holiday bash before Christmas. I had to prepare to leave as my family was going to Valparaiso to spend the week with mom's sister's family. Aunt Jean and Uncle Jason Turner switched years with us. We used to go to Grandma's for the holidays; but when she died a few years ago this situation had developed. It was only about an hour drive to see them, but somehow it rarely happened. I liked Aunt Jean and her family, especially my cousin Diane. She was the same age I was and had always been a good friend.

This year mom and Jean were determined that I learn to dance. I was to find out why that spring, but for now I had to endure the lessons; first with mom and her sister, then the final with Diane. That part I didn't mind at all. Diane was a little overweight, chunky I would say, but she sure felt good in my arms and against my body.

Back at school for the last half of the year I got my new schedule. I saw that for Chem this year I would have a lab. Mr. Smith said that we would be paired up for the class with the person standing beside us. I looked to my right and saw Susie Slidowski. Oh great, Susie Sideways. Everyone called her that because she was so shy she never looked at anyone face on, always from the side; as she was looking at me now. Mr. Smith told us to take a moment to introduce ourselves so I took the first step, "Hello Susie, or would you prefer Sue, or Susan..." When she didn't respond I continued, "or Susanna, Polyanna, Amanda, Britana, Beauty, stop me when you hear something you like."

"Susan!!" She burst out with. "And you are Ricky McReady."

She dropped her head to look at the bench in front of us. Her voice was quiet, and throaty, what is called a bedroom voice. Oh boy, I would have to get her to talk a lot. I heard nothing else from her that day as Mr. Smith gave us instructions on how we were to conduct ourselves and what would be expected of us for this course.

The rest of my course load was not much as I had most of the credits needed for graduation. English lit and computer science were my only other requirements. I was due to start a couple of classes in business management at Harrison College in the afternoons next week. The credits would transfer to college and give me a leg up. I had applied to a few colleges but had heard nothing from them yet. My problem was that without some kind of scholarship I had little hope of attending full time anywhere.

Getting Susie, I mean Susan, to talk was a monumental task. Nothing I tried ever got more that two monosyllables in response. I determined to make her laugh instead. My first success came a week later, by accident; literally. We had had a normal Indiana snow storm on Monday and someone had left their wet boots at the end of our lab table and I was running a little late. As I rounded the end of the table my left foot hit the puddle and went out, dropping me onto my butt with my legs spread wide, so wide that my pants split in the crotch. ZIP-BUMP-RIP-OWWW. As I sat there with a stunned look on my face Susan stared at me for a moment, then burst out laughing. Most of the rest of the class joined her as I slowly tried to get to my feet. Unfortunately the slapstick was not done yet. My right foot hit the puddle as I was standing up and it dropped to the knee, causing my chin to encounter the lab bench popping me onto my back with my head ringing and my right foot curled under my back, ripping the knee of my pants; wrong day to wear old jeans to school. As I lay there woozy as hell the whole class broke up. The last thing I saw before I passed out was Susan's whole face, looking at me with concern. God she was beautiful.

I woke up in the nurse's office and was told that my school day was over. My mom was on her way to pick me up. The whole night I couldn't get the image of Susan's face out of my mind.

Dad and a friend of his had gone and gotten my car from the school parking lot. If they hadn't it probably wouldn't have started. I had to plug it in to a heater (light bulb under the hood) every night in the winter if it was going to start. At school the next day people kept looking at me and giggling most of the morning. By the time I walked into chem. It was getting very old. The giggles continued as I walked into the room, looking for puddles, and put my stuff under the bench to prepare for class. The shocker though was Susan; she was standing at her place crying.

"I'm sorry Ricky, instead of helping you up I stood here and laughed at you. You wouldn't have been hurt if I had helped. Please forgive me, it won't happen again."

"I sure hope not Susan; I don't think I could survive another round. Don't feel bad though, it was funny and I have been trying to get you to laugh. I just didn't realize that success would hurt so much is all. Besides, you stopped laughing when I got hurt, I saw you before I passed out. I'd do it all again to get that kind of look from you."

Again I saw her complete face as she gave me a deer in the headlights look.

"Are you good to go today Mr. McReady?" Mr. Smith asked, interrupting us.

"Yes sir, I'm sorry for disrupting class yesterday."

"It was not your fault young man. Miss Stills has something to say to you though."

I looked over to my right and Lena Stills said, "I apologize for leaving my boots in the way Ricky. I'm sorry that you got hurt by my sloppiness."

After seeing Susan's face, Lena did not awe me as much. "That's all right Lena, I shouldn't have been in such a rush. No lasting harm done."

That ended the conversations and class got underway. Susan kept glancing at me with one eye all the way through class though. I still couldn't get her to say much, but at least she was paying attention to me now.

This continued through Thursday and Friday; but then as we were leaving class on Friday Susan grabbed my sleeve and pulled me to the side of the hall, out of traffic.

"I see that you leave every day at noon, where do you go?"

Oh Ho, she was watching me; this could only be good. "I have afternoon classes at Harrison four days a week. If I didn't do that I'd have to take useless courses here. The state requires us to have a minimum number of class hours so I couldn't just go home. Why do you ask?"

"I tried to find you at lunch and you were gone. I wanted to talk to you."

Hot damn, she could say more than two words; and she wanted to talk to me. Things kept looking up. "My class doesn't start for an hour, so if you would like we could talk now. Come on, I'll buy you lunch, or as close as the cafeteria can come to it."

She nodded and took off down the hall. It was amazing how she maneuvered her way through the crowds. She slid between groups and around individuals without a stumble or pause. Trying to keep up with her I caused more that a few curses to follow me down the hall from the obstructions I was unable to avoid.

In the cafeteria Susan said not a word as we loaded our trays. Today's best choice was vegetarian chili. Not the most appetizing thing you've ever had, but better than the alternatives.

Susan put her tray on a table in the corner and proceeded to set up her place with determination. She placed each item in just the right spot and never looked at me once the whole time. I guess that she was nervous.

Finally she was ready and sat across from me.

"You said that you wanted to talk to me Susan?"

Keeping her head down she asked, "You were trying to get me to laugh?"

"Yes, I was, but the fall was not planned or intentional. I was actually hoping to get some kind of reaction from you, any kind at all."

"Why?"

"Because your voice is enticing and I wanted to hear it more. I wanted to see your face without your hair in the way and I hoped that we could be friends. I don't see you with anyone in particular and I don't have many friends either."

"Okay."

That's all she said, but then she looked up at me and smiled. I thought my heart was going to stop. Susan had big brown eyes above a button nose and a small mouth. Her face was heart shaped with a broad forehead and a small chin; almost elfin.

Thus began the seduction of Susan. After that we had lunch together every day and talked about multiple subjects. I found her to be a constant surprise with her interests and capabilities. As she opened up to me I also tried to steer her toward my goal. When I asked her about her clothes, she always wore loose clothing; Susan said that her father bought her clothes. I had already learned that her mother had left when she was young and her father was clueless as to how to raise a girl. She said that the kids in grade school had made fun of her and so she withdrew. I was the first friend she had had at school. She was also the only friend I had now too. Tom had graduated midterm and gone to junior college in Champaign-Urbana.

It took till March before I was able to get up the courage to ask Susan for a date; and when I did I made the biggest mistake of my life. I took her to a basketball game and the after game dance. When I asked her, I didn't make it sound like a date. I said that I was going to the game and asked if she would like to go along. This gave her the out of thinking that we were just going as friends, so if she didn't want to, she wouldn't be turning me down. I outfoxed myself, because this made it so that she felt no obligation to stay with me. I had done too good of a job of opening her up. She was dressed very nicely in a short skirt and blouse and she had had a friend at church do her hair up. Susan looked fantastic. I was not the only one to notice that.

Lena Stills came over to where I was watching Susan dance with Lena's lab partner, John Wesley, the star forward of the basketball team.

"It looks like your date has abandoned you Ricky."

"She's not my date Lena, she is just a friend."

"Too bad, I thought that you were finally going to get a chance to dance at one of these things."

"Me? What about you? I never see you dance either. Why do you even come to them?"

"Probably for the same reason you do Ricky, I keep hoping that someone will want to dance with me."

"Oh come on now. You are one of the most beautiful girls in school. Every guy wants to dance with you."

"It's kind of hard to tell when no one I want to dance with asks Ricky. Why don't you ever dance?"

"Because no one wants to dance with me Lena. Every time I asked I got turned down, Julie Parker even laughed at me. I was hoping that Susan would want to be with me."

"You got her all ready to pop and some other rooster raided your henhouse. Is that the way it is?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Now I'm alone again."

"Well I'm alone too. When you said that most guys would want to dance with me, does that include you; and if it does, why didn't you ever ask me?"

"Of course it does; I just never thought that you would say yes."

"That just goes to show how wrong you have been all along, now let's dance."

A little later Susan came over to me and said that John was going to take her home, so I didn't have to wait. Wesley smirked at me from behind her and reached around to pinch a nipple where I could see it. Susan slapped his hand, then turned around and walked away with him. Thus ended my brief interlude of happiness in high school.

Lena wanted to dance some more, but I couldn't do it. I went home and actually cried myself to sleep like a little boy.

Monday I asked Mr. Smith for a new lab partner. He said I didn't need to as he was going to switch them up today anyway. Susan had just enough time to tell me that John had asked her to go steady before Mr. Smith announced the changeover of lab partners. My new partner was Joanne Simmons; a chubby little girl with the brains of a cauliflower. I had all I could do to pass the course after that. As class was letting out I tried to escape, but Susan caught me and said that she wouldn't be able to have lunch with me anymore, John might get jealous. I told her that was fine, my classes at Harrison were moved earlier and I couldn't stay anyway.

Lena stopped me on the way out and said that she was sorry; I deserved better treatment than that.

"It's okay Lena, I made the mistake of trusting a woman, that's all. It won't happen again."

All I saw of Susan after that was when she walked into class. One day she stepped in walking kind of funny. I figured that I knew what had happened, but I ignored it as best I could. I did sabotage Wesley's Bunsen burner after I saw him high-fiving a couple of his buddies though.

Lena seemed to want to stay connected in some way, but I mostly blew her off.

When prom night began to loom I discovered why mom and Aunt Jean had insisted on the dancing classes. When she asked me if I was going to the prom and I said no, she disagreed. "Yes you are too going Ricky. You are taking your cousin Diane. No one has asked her to go so you will. Her prom is the week before yours so you can go to both."

I tried to talk her out of it, but I might as well have saved my breath.

"You have to go up there and ask her this weekend Ricky, before someone else beats you to it."

No protest got through to her so the next Friday night I was in Valparaiso at my Aunt and Uncle's house.

Diane was sitting in the living room as her mother led me in.

"Hello Ricky, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you Diane, would you step outside with me please?"

"Sure Ricky."

When we got on the porch I sat in the big swing and motioned her to sit beside me. After she sat I took her hand.

"Our mothers seem to have a plan for us cuz. Mom insisted that I come here tonight and ask you to the prom. Do you have any idea why they would want to do this?"

"Damn, I was afraid of this. I told mom that I wasn't going to the prom and she freaked. She couldn't understand why I wasn't going. I tried to tell her that it meant nothing to me, but she wouldn't listen."

"I told my mom the same thing, but she wouldn't listen either. The last thing I want to do is to go to the prom, anything you can do to keep it from happening would be appreciated Diane."

"From the way she reacted, I don' think mom is going to let me get out of it Ricky. We'll just have to put up with their nonsense. Look, to them it was a big deal. Everyone had to go to the prom. They just don't understand that it isn't that way anymore. I have very good reasons to want to stay away from that event, and she'll never listen to them."

"I know, if I have to go to mine I'll probably get in a fight. I can't see them together and stay calm."

"See who together, what are you talking about Ricky?"

So I told her all about Susan, and how John had taken her away from me. I even told her about when I think he took her cherry.

"I'll bet the asshole coerced her and then hurt her too. There's always an after prom party at the lake and most girls who go get fucked. They'll probably be there. I really can't stand the thought of that."

"Maybe if she sees you with me she'll realize what she let go."

"No, I doubt it. She got the popular guy, I don't matter to her. Hell, I don't matter to anyone, there is no reason to keep trying this shit, don't worry Diane. I'm not going, I'll take you to yours if you want, but I'm not going to mine. I'll leave town first."

"Don't be that way Ricky; you are too nice of a guy to get dumped on like that. You need to put it behind you and move on. There are other girls who would love to be with you, girls like me."

"Thanks for trying cuz, but I know how homely and useless I am. Most girls laugh when I go by, and it's not because I told a joke. Face it, I suck."

"Ricky Nelson McReady, (My mom fell in love with this teenage singer and since dad was out of the country when I was born, she got to name me. I hate the name and once I go to college I'll go by R. Nelson McReady, call me Nelson.) you stop that. You are the nicest guy I know and you are not homely. You may not be John Saxon, but you are not bad looking. There are guys that look a lot worse than you getting laid regularly at my school. You just need to try."

"I did try Diane, and I got slapped down every time. I quit, I don't trust women anymore and I don't want anything to do with them."

"Tell you what Ricky. We'll go to my prom, and if you have a good time, we'll do yours. Give me a chance and you might get lucky."

"No way, I said I would take you to yours, but it ends there."

"We'll see Ricky, we'll see. My prom is a week before yours so we don't have much time."

She needn't have worried. Our moms had everything under control. I had an appointment for a fitting at the tux rental place and Diane was supposed to go get her dress Monday night. Dad said that I was going to drive his Buick and mom had even reserved flowers. I still didn't want to do this, but mom ignored all of my objections.

I picked Diane up at her house and had to put up with the pictures and such. Dad had me drive his car so we would look better arriving at the prom. The dance was being held at the Valparaiso Ramada Inn and there was a formal dinner first. I couldn't understand some of the looks I was getting from the kids there but I just shrugged them off as being jealous that a nothing like me had snared a date with a girl as pretty as Diane.

Diane did very little talking to her classmates, other than introducing me. She did not tell them that I was her cousin, probably embarrassed.

After dinner we went in and danced a few times. When I went to get some drinks at the punch bowl there were a couple of guys there talking.

"Damn bud, talk about a sure thing. Wish I had the guts to take roundheels Turner out in public. You are definitely going to get lucky tonight."