Why Men Cheat

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This particular article is from the perspective of a man. Unless otherwise specified, when I refer to men, I mean men who have a wife or girlfriend. This article also refers to the MAJORITY of men. There are, of course, exceptions. If there is a woman who would like to write a companion article, I would gladly welcome that. To make myself perfectly clear, I am not condoning cheating. Make no bones about it, it is wrong. Whether you come from a moral perspective or not, you know it's wrong. The most hardcore atheist gets pissed when he finds his wife or girlfriend in bed with another man, so we all know it's wrong.

That being said, there are actual, real reasons why a man cheats, and it might not be because he's a narcissistic douchebag. Granted, there are those men who go out and fuck a lot of women while being in a relationship because they feel they deserve it, but I believe you'd find the percentages shockingly low. Contrarily, you might find a man that would never cheat no matter how much he is hurting. He may be seen as more noble, but he lives in misery.

Now, many women have been cheated on, and most of them feel that there is no reasonable cause for a man to cheat, that cheating is the paramount of wrong, and the blame for cheating is solely on the man. Now, is the man to blame for the action of going and having sex with another woman? Without doubt. But, I believe you would rarely find a case of a man just going out and picking up a woman to fuck. Affairs start long before actual sex takes place.

It starts in the home, in the bed, and in the heart. Let's get something out of the way right now, shall we? A man needs sex, period. Women need sex too, naturally, but men are more wired to want and in fact need it. It is not an "extra" to relationships, it is a burning, aching need. To him, being denied sex is being disrespected in the deepest sense, in fact, the only thing worse would be catching his wife in his own bed with another man. Get that straight.

Suppose a man is not getting his needs met at home. His wife is not necessarily being cruel or mean spirited about it, nor is she seeing someone else but all the same, it's not happening. Now, he goes to the office. Maybe the secretary or a co-worker is an attractive young woman. She looks up to him, respects him, and admires him, initially strictly from a professional viewpoint. He goes to work, maybe after a few weeks or a month of a dry spell, maybe longer. The young lady asks him how he is doing, how the family is. Sure, initially he lies like most people do. "Everthing is fine, doing great." But how long can that last? Something will eventually betray him, a look, the tone of his voice, something. She will pick up on it. She, being a caring friend, puts her hand on his hand, or shoulder. Maybe even gives him a hug or a friendly kiss on the cheek. It will be ok, she comforts him, things will get better. But it doesn't. She sees this. Her compassion turns to a caring affection. She asks him out to a drink, or coffee, or lunch. This might happen a few times. Or not, but either way, the affair is well under way. It is only a matter of time before his armor cracks and he pours out his heart to her. Filled with sympathy, and a lack of understanding on how a wife could treat her husband this way, she tenderly kisses him. At this point, passion takes over, they find a room in a hotel, and the affair is in full swing.

Take note here. Where did the affair start? Did he walk into the office, look the woman up and down, and say, "Sure, my married life is great, but fuck it all, strip down and let's go at it." No, not even close. It started at home, where his needs were not being met. A man isn't going to have an affair because he wants to find a woman who will suck his cock when his own wife won't, not if she's meeting his needs. It doesn't even have as much to do with a release. Jacking off would take care of that. Find me a halfway normal guy who wants to jack off instead of having sex. You won't. Taking care of your man's needs is exactly that: taking care of him. Your respect for him by taking care of him will keep him from straying. Again, this may not be a hard and fast, but you will find this to be a typical rule.

As a final note to the ladies, please understand something. Your man needs you physically as you need him emotionally. It is not a lesser or different need. It is exactly the same as you needing him to talk to you or tell you he loves you. Would you like him to go several days without speaking to you? You would be incredibly hurt and likely furious. What if he's not in the mood, or doesn't feel like it, or has a headache? You would never accept that. Maybe for a day, but no more, if that even. Again, I reiterate this because it is so important to understand, what emotional needs are to you, physical needs are to him.

Hopefully, this was of some use to someone. I sincerely hope this might help someone before the affair is underway. Take care of each other needs, and you will live a happy life.

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
i cheated

i cheated with both male and females..i did get caught i just needed sex simple as that..

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
nope and nope...

Women need sex just as much as men do, you realize that right?

I'm a female and have left men for not giving enough in bed, (granted, my ex Fiancé randomly stopped giving me sex for 8 months)

It's needed just as much as emotional compatibility.

I'd never be able to date a man who didn't give me sex.

Yet,I never cheated. So saying this is why men cheat is a cop out, the weak and cowardly cheat.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Even men need emotional support.

What about the man that is getting all the sex he wants, but still cheated? A person cheats for one reason, they create a pity party for themselves, they are feeling guilty for a failing relationship that they don't know how to fix. Instead of dealing with the emotions from the failing relationship, they look for a quick fix, a way to bolster themselves back up, because they are not strong enough to do it for themselves. This is coming from someone who has lived this experience before and is in the third year of reconciliation in a 21 year marriage. The lack of sex excuse is a sham, a cover, a symptom of a much larger problem.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Too true

I see a lot of 'should' in the comments. To me that tells me you have never experienced this or have ever had to deal with it. Try talking 'sense' into a woman that has made up her mind on how much sex you 'should' be entitled to is talking to a brick wall... with a Kevlar cover!

Little hints and touches designate you a horny old man, enjoying the Fredrick's commercial after she grins at the Chippendale commercial gets you called a pervert, and god forbid you notice a young lady with her bikini untied on the beach, even though you have an old Polaroid from ten years ago of her doing the same but propped up on her elbows to show her tits and nipples...

Oh and all the while, if and when she does actually decide to treat you to a little sex and you don't jump like a teenager then you need to see the doctor to see what's wrong with you.

Nuf said, I'll get off my soapbox...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Umm...

The whole "women need emotional support, men need sexual satisfaction" thing is complete BS. Some people are like that, but not all. Get your facts straight and stop stereotyping the sexes.

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