Why YOU Must Enter Survivor 2010

First of all, a huge thank you to Manu and Laurel for such a wonderful site that allows new writers to practice their craft and receive feedback from readers. An even bigger thank you to Crimson Maiden and Lauren Hynde for moderating the Survivor Contest each year.

Two-thousand and nine was my first (and last) year to participate. But it has been the most amazing experience of my life. Since I was in sixth grade, I have wanted to be a writer. In fact, I got in big trouble for writing a 'book' for my young cousin in math class. In high school, I took creative writing...twice. I even won honourable mention in a state-wide poetry contest and was published in anthology. Throughout my forty-four years I have taken up writing, mainly romance, over and over again. But like most people I never finished anything.

Then came the Survivor Contest. I am a highly competitive person, so this was ideal to provide me with the discipline I needed. Even though I had only posted one story prior to the contest, I signed up. And throughout most of the year I was the point's leader. But winning was not the important thing because I was only competing against myself to become what I had always dreamt of being...an author.

Over the past year I have written eighty-four original stories. Those stories have been read almost one-million times. I have received some truly heart stopping emails from people, who were touched by my stories. But most importantly, this contest has changed how I see myself.

You see between those dreams of childhood and teens had come LIFE. I had been married for fourteen years, divorced and remarried with a string of over two-hundred and fifty lovers in between. I had six beautiful, intelligent children. I had built a successful career in another field. But still I dreamt of being a writer.

The most amazing thing about this contest and this past year is that I have honed my craft not because life gave me some break, but in spite of it. The year began well enough with me submitting one or more story each day. But then in spring my youngest daughter developed epilepsy and the seizures became the focus of our lives. I barely slept as I kept vigilant watch over her each night afraid that she would not awaken in the morning.

Then just as the doctors and medications were getting that under control, I watched helplessly as dear friends faced the hardest 'decision' of their lives when their unborn baby was diagnosed with a fatal birth defect. I was there for her beautiful birth and held them as they buried her little body that no bigger than a Barbie doll. I even made the little dress that she wore as they lowered her cold body into the ground.

But this year was barely half done and it seemed had just begun with me. I discovered that we were pregnant again. Because I was not working full-time, finances had been tight and our marriage strained. I was shocked, but quickly became excited as motherhood is my greatest love, even more than writing. Then our world fell apart. I lost our Hope at eleven weeks. For the first time in my life, I scared myself as I googled ways to commit suicide.

That was a true wakeup call and I sought the help I needed. For the past three months, I have battled depression with everything inside of me. I am on the highest dose of Prozac. I see a counsellor and have an exercise program prescribed by my doctor. Still there are days when I can barely get out of bed and moments when a dark cloud of despair descends and I cry for no reason. I admit my writing these days has taken a dark twist, but even that has been cathartic.

As if all of that were not enough, just as the big push came in the month of December with the Survivor Contest, my laptop died. For the past month, I have had almost no access to a computer. So despite plans and goals, I fizzled at the end. Then on New Year's Eve as if I needed a reminder, my daughter had her first seizure in five months and six days.

Yet through it all, I became a writer. I pushed myself to write when I did not feel like writing. Wet tears fell on the keys of my now dead laptop. I stretched myself to write of things beyond my personal experience. And I found my voice.

I enter 2010 with the greatest gift of all...I am a writer. Thanks in large part to that decision to enter a crazy contest a year ago. So if like me you have always dreamt of being a writer, you absolutely MUST sign up for the eleventh annual Survivor Contest.