Wicked

When she finished her run she tried thirty minutes of supine yoga and later took a cold shower. The aching was still there. Ana checked up with Dan. Still snoring. She cleaned the living room, went through the emails and bills, baked a chocolate cake she'd promised Liana's kindergarten's teacher and went through Tom's satchel to see if there were any notes from school. When she finished she took off the living room's curtains to the washer machine upstairs, folded three baskets of clean laundry and ironed shirts she would need next week in court. She went back to Dan and tried to wake him. He waved her off and rolled over. After that she took a hot bath, shaved her legs and turned on the Jacuzzi. The ache was still there, now even more prominent. She could eat a thousand chocolate cakes and take a million baths. They would not pacify her craving. She stood up and spent long minutes in front of the mirror. Alice was right, she still has it. Very long legs that once bought her ticket to both the university track team and the world of modeling. Hips, ass and thighs that she kept fanatically in shape. Auburn hair that fell so straight, she never even once had to use a conditioner plus big green eyes to match it all. There were also signs that she was no filly. After breastfeeding two kids for two years each, her tits had to make some compromises with gravity and there were more lines of worries and heartaches than she had in her twenties. But all in all Dan shouldn't have anything to complain about. Especially considering that through the years he added more than a few pounds and what nowadays looked more and more like a an extra chin.

Her hand went a couple of times to her crotch then wavered above Dan's shaving gel. She stood for a minute undetermined then reached out and grabbed a razor. Ten minutes later she heard Dan in the other room making waking up noises and she quickly applied some basic makeup. When she went out Dan wasn't there. Ana put on a black baby doll that was fashioned like an evening gown, took some time lighting scented candles and went out to search for him. She found him upstairs in the study room, playing some fantasy computer game online. It took her nearly half an hour to scrape him from the screen. She was now was on her back, thinking that there was probably more to life than this. Dan, still with boxers and socks on, had been rubbing her clitoris for the past ten minutes.

"Ummm, yess." This time he really hit the spot. "Come here." She grabbed his ass and pulled him towards her.

"In a minute." He smiled. Maybe he was finally getting into it.

"I love you." Ana whispered, her eyes closed. "Do you notice anything new?"

"Huh?"

"About me?" Ana moaned.

"A new haircut? It's nice."

"God, you're such an astronaut. Head up in the clouds. The haircut is a week old, and thanks for finally noticing. Everyone in the office said it was stunning."

"You're not concentrating." Dan looked annoyed.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not even trying to get there, are you cumming or not?"

That hit like a cold shower. Ana slapped his hand away and closed her legs.

"Hey." Dan cried.

"Definitely not."

"What?"

"Not cumming or going, not now, not ever!" Her tone went up an octave. "You can go back to your stupid game, your head has been there for the past fifteen minutes."

"Come on." Dan's frightened look probably mirrored the fury he saw on her face.

"You know what Dan? There are millions of guys out there who would kill to be in your shoes right now. And I took a razor this morning and sheared all the wool down below just for you and you..." Ana burst into tears.

Dan forced a smile. "It really felt smooth, now that I think of it. Come here, let's try again."

"Don't touch me."

"Come on."

"If you touch me I swear I'll scream my lungs out and kick you. Stay away, Dan!"

"Wait-"

"Shudup!!!" Ana screamed.

His mouth arched in disdain. Dan always looked down on people who expressed strong feelings in public. "You're hysterical."

That hit like a bucket of cold water, again. Ana stopped crying immediately and rose from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

She thought she'll just leave him hanging there but on the doorstep she turned and faced him. "You don't have a clue, do you? You, you self-centered schmuck!"

Dan felt a chill going from his skull down his spine and straight to his balls. There was something new and frightening in his wife's face he'd never seen in all their fifteen years together.

"I clean the house everyday, cook all your meals. I spend hours handling all our bills because you hate it. I drove two hours last Sunday to get a discount haircut. I open the Visa and I see you've been indulging yourself in online games and computer accessories."

"A computer game costs thirty dollar tops."

"Four hundred and fifty fucking dollars, Dan, this month alone. I don't remember when I bought myself a pair of fucking shoes. I tell stories at the office so I won't need to go to lunch with my colleagues and spend money we don't have. Four hundred and fifty dollars, Dan, we have a hole this big." Ana spread her hands. "in our bank account. It's like I have three kids instead of two."

"I can cut down, we can take a loan to cover the overdraft." Dan looked stunned.

"I take care of everything in this house. I spend ten times more quality time with our kids than you, despite the fact that you have ten times more free time than me. "

"I work around the house too."

"I don't care!" Ana screamed. "All I ever asked for is to feel loved, to feel like someone cares, like someone thinks I'm hot. Sex with you feels like you're mowing the lawn. I feel like a fucking house chore." She turned around.

"Where are you going?"

"To find someone else who'll fuck me."

"Ana!"

Ana stormed out of the bedroom, all fire and lightning. Her tears dried up and left behind a scorched earth of rage and fury. She went upstairs to the study room that nowadays mostly served as Dan's online games room. She locked the door behind her and sat down on the massive mahogany table with her head between her hands.

"Ana, come on. Let's talk it out like two adults." Dan tried to force the door open.

"Go away."

"I'm sorry Ana. It was really insensitive, I should have- I'm really sorry."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be."

"Come on, at least open the door. Stop acting like a teenager with growing up issues."

"If you're trying to make things better, then you're doing a terrible job. Go away Dan before you or I say something we're going to regret for years."

"Ok, I'll be downstairs when you're ready to talk."

She sat in the cold room staring at nothing for an hour. Dan knocked once to tell her he ordered a pizza and if she might like a slice. For some reason it only infuriated her further. How can he even think of something so banal as ordering food at a time like this? She opened the internet and surfed to her office VPN. Her firm dealt mostly with employment related cases, but they also had a decent divorce counseling team. She started looking at divorce papers when Dan knocked again.

"Ninny, your sister is on the phone."

She opened the door, grabbed her mobile from his hand before he could say anything, slammed the door in his face and locked it again.

"What happened?" Alice high voice from the other side had a calming effect on her. She thanked god for giving her a little sister. "You there? What happened? Dan sounded like he's under a massive panic attack. A big fight?"

"I'm so glad you called." Ana said.

"Yeah, it's about what we talked about the other day. I saw something that you might find interesting. I'm not saying it's the best solution, but still it's something you and Dan might wanna look into."

"That no good son of a bitch." Ana shouted. "You wouldn't believe... I'm feeling humiliated just thinking about it." Ana felt the tears crawling back up and fought them down again.

"A huge fight, huh?" Alice said.

"I'm looking at divorce papers as we speak."

"What? That's great news." Alice almost shouted on the other side of the line.

"Really? That sounds great to you?"

"Yeah. Really. Dump the loser. Should have done it years ago."

"Oh, stop it Alice, I'm not gonna follow through, I'm just looking at them. I want to freak him out of his selfish skin."

"What? Why? Don't be an idiot. A saint like you deserves someone a gazzilion times better." Alice almost pleaded. "If you stay with him I'm coming over with a shotgun."

"Don't be a baby."

"What do you plan to do then? "

"I think I'll move back with mom and dad, let him sweat alone with the kids for a few weeks. See if he ever takes me for granted after that. What was it that you had in mind?" Ana asked.

"What I had in mind is simply the lesser evil of living in a house with an emotional zombie. Divorce is a win-win, compared to it."

"Not gonna happen."

"Do you still have the dollhouse granny bought you for your fifth birthday?" Alice said

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"I think I saw it upstairs in the closet-room the other day." If someone could smirk through a phone, it was Alice.

"Yeah, it's there, but I don't see how-"

"You never let Liana touch it, don't you? Same as you never let me touch it when we were kids."

"She has a thousand dolls and that dollhouse has an emotional- Wait! What? Are we bringing up childhood grudges, now?" Ana chose the divorce file on screen and pressed the print button. "Cause I have quite a few of my own."

"No, my point is that you just never seemed to be able to let go of old things."

"Dan is not an old toy."

Alice sighed. "Ok then. I saw today an interesting article in YNET relationships section. You ever read that section?"

"Yeah, it has some sound advice like buying a baby-doll, scented candles and shaving down below. Great stuff, I think I'll try it one day, see how it works. Oops."

"Sis, bitterness brings out the wrinkles. Anyway, I don't usually read it but there was an article there today that caught my eye. Remembered when I said the other day, you can't eat the cake and keep it whole? Well, you better see for yourself."

Ana surfed to the site, she actually had a link in the favorites to the YNET relationship section. She spotted the article immediately. "Eating the cake and keeping it whole -- Open Marriage." It was written by a marriage consultant about a couple whose husband wanted to stretch the limits of monogamy. She read the first paragraph then skimmed right to the bottom. "Nah, never gonna work." She said to Alice.

"Well, it was a long shot." Alice said.

"Dan would never agree."

"Ok." Alice sounded surprised. "Not the answer I was expecting."

"He might like the idea of having sex with another woman but he'll never give consent for me to sleep with other men."

"You're missing my point. Who cares what Dan wants? It's you who counts. You don't find that shocking or morally impossible?"

"Why? Going out on fantasy adventures of lust without suffering cheating pangs of guilt? Sounds like a dream." Ana started reading the article again. "What girl wouldn't sign up for that?"

"Oh, ok. I'm glad you feel that way. There might be hope yet. So now you just need to convince Dan."

"Already told you, never gonna happen."

"Not with that attitude it ain't. Does a client who comes to your office with a shitty case gets the same answer? What about that old lady who got sacked one year before her pension was due? The case nobody in your office was even willing to touch. A hundred percent lost cause."

"It was entirely different-"

"It's the same. You took it and you won. Why? Because you're a shark when push comes to shove. It's time to do what you're the best at. Learn the subject through and through. Build a strategy. Come prepared for every scenario. Threaten. Cajole. Be the bad cop and the good cop. Use anything in your arsenal."

"This is my life at stake, not some employment court issue."

"What do you have to lose? I'll help. Just ask. If you need a role-play to practice, or you want me to find you reading material, just say the word. I'm your bitch."

Ana laughed.

"To be honest, Dan is pretty much lacking in the spine department. A few threats and he'll cave in." Alice said.

"That's my husband you're talking about."

"So why did the last sentence come out so uncertain with none of your usual defensiveness?"

@@@@

It was late night when Ana finally came out of the study. She stretched a few times and wanted to jog again on the treadmill after the long hours sitting on her ass, but gave up on the idea. She was charged with energy. Preparing hard cases for court always had that effect on her. But running would deplete that energy and she needed every ounce of it right now.

Her white kitchen smelled of overcooked omelets. Dirty plates, some tomato salad and cheerios decorated the countertop, the dining table and the floor. Usually she would sigh or curse and then clean up the mess. Not today.

She found Dan on the living-room couch, still in his boxers and socks. He was punching away on his IPhone, probably playing on the internet. It was clear that his heart wasn't into it, though. There was a half empty beer bottle on the table and a half-finished bowl of pistachios. Ana made an intentional noise and he swung around in panic.

"Where?" she said.

"Your parents returned them an hour ago." Dan's words came out like machine gun stutter. He was usually very careful with words. Mouthing each syllable slowly, to the point of being annoying. "They're upstairs, sound asleep. I cooked them dinner. There's some salad and omelet left if..."

"I know, I saw the kitchen."

"I'll clean that."

"Did they wash?"

"At your parents, they took them to the beach all day."

"What about Liana's asthma?"

"Never had to use her inhaler once."

"Did Tom eat the salad?"

"It took some effort but I made him eat a whole cucumber."

"Did they ask about me?"

"Sure did. I told them you had to go to work. They were really disappointed. Tom brought home half the Mediterranean's seashells and wanted to show you."

Ana almost smiled, but forced it down. There was a face the people close to her would never recognize. Ana called it her business face and used it only in the office when consulting clients. She had it on now as she sat herself on the designer sofa and placed a block of printed documents on the living room table.

"We need to talk."

"What's this?"

"A contract."

"What kind?"

"Well, to cut things right down to the bottom line it's abandonment of rights. A voluntary relinquishment of all right to claim adulterium as a cause to invoke alimony cancelation."

"In human language?"

Ana unconsciously rubbed her palms, a clear sign she was in office mode. "The Israeli law guaranties alimony."

"Kids support."

"No, that's something else entirely. Let's keep questions to the end, shall we. Alimony is one spouse support for the other after a divorce. Since, when you do have a job, dear husband, you earn twice as much as I do, court will rule permanent alimony in my favor."

"Are we talking divorce now?"

"No, I'm not."

"Sounds like you are."

"I said, questions in the end. Israeli court tends to cancel Alimony in case the supporting spouse can prove adultery."

"You're screwing behind my back?" Dan shouted.

"Do you even know me? At all? It's like I'm talking to a stranger."

"Are you having an affair?"

"For god's sake, Dan. During the last sixteen years I've never even once considered it. I'm just protecting myself. Signing this means you and I will have no legal claim to invoke alimony cancelation due to adultery. I want an open marriage, Dan."

"A what?"

"You heard me."

The look on his Dan face was a mix of shock and revulsion. "You want to sleep with other men?"

"Well-"

"And you want my permission to do it?"

"It goes both ways, Dan. You'll have my permission to meet other women." Actually the thought of Dan with another woman caused a wave of jealousy that she almost choked on. "Go taste the world outside and maybe you'll grow an appetite for what you have back home."

"I don't wanna sleep with other women."

"Your choice." Ana tone softened. For a moment she almost decided to forget about it all, but then she did what Alice told her to do in case doubts and mercy would raise their fluffy head. She ran over in her mind the humiliating scenario from the morning and steeled herself.

"If you think I'm signing this, then you're nuts."

"I thought you might act this way and prepared this in advance." Ana placed another block A4 of papers on the table.

"What's that?"

"These are divorce documents."

"Just like that, split the house in half. This is what you call a solution."

"Actually the house is mine, it even says so on our Prenuptial. " Time to take out the sledgehammers. "But I'll have you out of it in a week."

"To go where?"

"You're an adult, rent your own place."

"With what money?"

"Get a job."

"Half the stuff in this house is mine."

"And you'll get yours eventually. Just be prepared to spend a lot of money on attorneys. I already have on my side the best team of solicitors Tel Aviv has to offer. For free."

"How can you be so-"

"So, what?"

"So..."

"Lets hear it."

"Cold. What happened to you?"

"You mean what happened to the old Ana you once knew? The one who let you crap all over her head?"

"Ana."

"She's dead, Dan. It took more than a few years and it wasn't pretty. This morning you gave her the coup de grace. Can't say I'm going to share your grief. She's gone for good."

"So my choice is between open marriage and doing the Kurt Cobain. Excellent. Simply grand."

Ana gave herself a mental pat on her shoulder. The strategy plan she laid out for the conversation was clicking along the lines she weaved. She was hoping Dan would see a divorce and getting kicked out of the house as a frightening choice. Frightening enough that he wouldn't be able to call her bluff. Alice was right, a few threats and he caved in. Now, all she had to do is convince him the other option wasn't half as bad as he saw it. Time for the good cop to go on stage and give his rehearsed monologue to the panicked audience. "It's only sex, Dan." Her voice was now the same gentle tone she used with the kids. "Nothing emotional, it's purely physical, like going to the gym."

"Yeah. Right."

"Come on Dan you will always be my husband, we can work out this solution. Nothing will change."

"You're calling that -- Nothing?"

"I'll be the same supportive spouse I've been for the last sixteen years, the same loyal wife you so much love to show-off."

Dan picked up the beer bottle and took it to his mouth. His hand was badly shaking. He looked at her and said nothing. A good sign. He was at least listening.

"I'll take care of us, like I always do, of this house. The kids. We'll go to Saturday Barbeques at the Nelsons, we'll go out camping like we used to. Take the ski vacation we so dearly wanted when times are less lean. Spend time at the beach with the kids. Nobody will have to leave. I see tons of divorced couples in my office every year. It tears families apart."

"And I'll be a laughing stock."

"No one will ever know a thing, I swear. That would hurt the kids and you know I'll never allow that."

"How can you be so sure?"

Ana had to force herself so she wouldn't smile. Dan went from a state of total rejection to actually considering her suggestion. "We'll be careful and discrete. You know once I set my mind on a task I study it and plan it to perfection. Trust me. No one will have a clue."

"I would."

"It will be exactly like going to the gym or the Tennis club. I'll take a few hours from time to time to take care of myself. It would be exactly the same. You'll see."