Wicked

"How exactly is it the same?" Dan was aiming for sarcasm but his voice came out really high and trembling.

"Not the same." She placed her hand on his arm. "Much better. I'll come back minus the stress that was always around the house for the last couple of months. Think about it. No more stupid fights."

"No more quarrels?" Dan took the bottle out of his mouth again and studied her.

She had him now, she was sure. Ana felt the usual thrill of winning a case or signing a good plea bargain with a tough attorney. "We'll get back the life you and I miss so much, the life we deserve. We owe it to the kids and we owe it to ourselves."

"I..."

"Come on Dan, when you think it through you'll agree this is something really trivial. Thousands of happy marriages have an arrangement of this sort. Nowadays people do it in the open. When you think about it, there's nothing big or scary or shameful about it. We're in Israel and it's the 21^st century, not middle ages Saudi Arabia."

"I'll... Give me the contract." On the living room table stood a fancy black pen inkstand with golden inscription. Ana received it from the office crew when she became a full partner. Dan took the pen out.

"Don't sign up just yet." She said.

"No?"

"No, it's been a long day and we're not ourselves. I want you to sleep on it, think it through. This should not be done lightly."

"I'll..."

"Go to sleep, Dan."

Ana sat down in the living room long after Dan was snoring in the bedroom, another bad habit he picked up over the years due to too many computer hours and too little treadmill hours. Twice she rose, to the garbage dispenser aiming to destroy both the contract and the divorce papers. Twice more she rose and went to the front door, wanting nothing more than to run away when a tiny voice crying upstairs brought her back to reality.

Liana was crying in her bed, not even fully awake. Ana held her for a few moments, pushing away all the bad dreams with soft kisses and motherly promises. When Liana finally went back to sleep she crawled under the Disney prince and princess decorated sheets and hugged her daughter tightly. Her dreams were filled with dark eyed strangers and strange new places but in the morning she couldn't remember any of them.

@@@@@

"You did what?" Alice screamed on the phone.

"Chill it, sis." Ana yawned, she fell asleep at three AM and it showed. "The lines in this firm are being recorded, so be... Don't say anything that I'll have trouble explaining."

"He wanted to sign and you stopped him."

"I did exactly what I planned to do. He would have backed down eventually if he would have felt he agreed under pressure, contract or no contract. He has to do it of his own free will and then he'll feel committed."

"I don't know." Alice said. "Sounds like you're backing out on me."

"Be patient."

"As long as you know-"

"I've been signing and making people sign contracts for thirteen years. It's what I do best." Ana yawned again.

"Don't be so enthusiastic about it."

"I'm not. Alice, I feel like I'm using the tricks of my trade to trick my husband. I'm not sure I like this new Ana that's been coming up. Hold on a second, Dan's on the mobile."

"Hi." He sounded nervous.

"Hi." She said.

"How are you?"

"I'm busy, Dan, anything you need?" A day ago she would kill for a phone-call from him that meant even a little attention. It even felt good to hear him now but there was no way she was going to make him feel that she already forgave him.

"It's about the contract." He said quickly. "I've been reading some on the internet."

"Go on."

"There's some stuff I'd like to change and a lot of things I feel I'd like to add. It's all about the legal stuff but it has nothing about... You know. We have to base some ground rules and we need some red lines, you see. I wrote everything down."

Ana felt her heart start racing, all her tiredness gone in a flash. "I'll be home in an hour, I'm sure we can make everything work out."

"It's on, sis." She said and took in a heavy breath.

"You're kidding me?"

"For bad or worse, it's on."

@@@@@

"Here? You want me to bring my dates here?" Dan and Ana were sitting on their bed, long after they put the kids to sleep. Ana was in her panties and a white T-shirt, but she was all business.

"Well, yeah."

"Why?"

"That way I would be able to monitor things. I would know that you're not seeing the same guy," Dan almost choked on the last word. "The same guy twice. It's safer anyway. You don't want to go into some dark apartment with someone you just met."

"Where would you be?"

"Upstairs, with the kids."

"Is this some kind of stupid scheme to make sure this never happen?"

"No, I promise I'll be upstairs, you wouldn't know I'm here. I'll add acoustic insulator on the doors so you wouldn't hear me and I wouldn't hear you. Don't you prefer your own house to some sleazy motel?"

"So how will you monitor things?" Ana almost spat the last word.

"I'll watch you coming through the gate intercom camera."

"I don't know, this sounds too weird."

"I won't let you see guys behind my back, if you're doing it, at least have the decency... I mean the.. Forget it, this is a go, no go for me."

Ana move uneasily on the bed, causing a rustle of papers. Dan must have done some homework. Ana put a mental note to make them all disappear later. It would be quite unpleasant if anyone she knew would chance to take a peek at them. "And what's that about not seeing the same guy twice?" she said.

"I don't want you to attach emotionally to anyone. I mean, you might decide you're better off with someone and we'll end up divorced anyway."

"Not gonna happen."

"I have to make sure."

"So you expect me to... I don't know, to pick up strangers at pubs every time?"

"You can get professionals, there are escorting services for women, you know."

"You mean like a Gigolo?" Ana slammed her hand on the bed. "We have a hole the size of the American debt in our account. Escorting services are for rich people."

"Ok, that's not really my problem. That's another red line for me."

"One month." Ana said.

"What?"

"I can see the same person again but I'll have to wait one month, so there will be no emotional attachment." She imitated Dan voice when she said emotional attachment. "It's only sex, you know."

"Six months."

"One month, take it or leave it."

"Ok. And no one we know."

"Goes without saying."

"No one in the office you've been fantasizing about, no one that might even remotely know us. Oh, and I want my name on the house deed. I want half."

Ana laughed with little mirth. "As if."

"You know what, maybe your parents bought you this big house but I sure as hell worked my ass over the years so that it would be lacking nothing. The house, you and the kids. Vacations, clothes, bills, cars, everything here has some of my sweat on it. And you know what?" He rose and Ana saw in his eyes some of the fire that belonged to the man she once fell in love with. "Yesterday I found out that sixteen years of sweat arn't worth shit and I could find myself on my ass in the street. That at 38 I'll have to start my life again from scratch. I won't let that happen."

"You want equality?"

"I don't want to be dependent on your charity, not after yesterday."

"Excellent. That goes all the way. It's good thing you've finally decided to make it to your thirties, love." She shook his hand. "Frankly I thought you'd never mature past your teens but if you're ready to make some grown up choices-"

"What do you mean?"

"If everything in this partnership is on the table I want a real change."

"Go on."

"The bank manager called today, we are on the brink of financial disaster. I had to take a killer rate loan to cover our overdraft."

"I'm sorry about the four hundred dollar, won't happen again."

"Four hundred and fifty." Ana rose, searched through his pants he left on the bedroom floor when he showered, pulled out his platinum credit card and folded it.

"Hey!" Dan shouted.

"That's one. Until you prove you're an adult, I'll be the only person here carrying a credit card. And don't think you can order another, I'll be monitoring the account. I cancelled our gym membership plus my tennis club membership, that's two."

"You didn't have to cancel your membership." Dan had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Mom will let me have her old spinning bike and we have a pool and a treadmill. Gym is luxury, we're poor."

"Ok."

"I already told Yona that she need not come next Thursday and I paid Salim what we owe him and thanked him but I told him we can't afford him anymore. That's three."

"So no cleaning woman and no gardener. Ok."

"I've cancelled our cables and ISP membership. "

"You did what?" Dan eyes widened. "I need that so my programming skills won't rust."

"You mean your skills at shooting imaginary people at imaginary games? Grow up, Dan. I never saw you honing your programming skills on our computer. It was always an excuse to buy new and expensive stuff for your stupid games. If you want to Google, I have internet at the office. Oh, I've canceled your IPhone surfing membership too. That's four."

"This is crazy."

"Welcome to adulthood."

"So you will let me have half the house?"

"Thirty percent. The kids get thirty percent and I get the rest. If we do separate I'll buy your share and you can buy a decent apartment with the money. But you'll have to work for it, hard."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm tired of working nine hours every day only to come back to a house where the real work begins. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, driving to basketball practice, showers, bed making, dishes, I'm alone in this fight, you're like a spectator. This slave wants out."

"Ok, so I'll pull my share."

"You'll do more than that. From now on I want to come to a spotless home. I want the kids fed. I don't want to see Tom smeared in front of the TV unless his homework is complete. I want you to take care of the garden and the swimming pool. And once every Thursday you'll clean this house through and through, just like if Yona was still here."

Dan grunted. "That's a big house."

"You're home. There's no reason you won't get off your butt from time to time. In a year, if and only if you keep this up, every single day, none of your usual half dones. I'll put your name on the deed."

"That's it?"

Ana spit on her hand and reached forward.

Chapter three

Three weeks later and Ana realized all the parts of her new life except for one. She actually found herself more than a few times surfing in escort services sites, looking at the pictures of studs for rent. She even called once, but the sleazy voice on the other side of the phone disgusted her and she had hung up.

The contract was signed and hidden in her office safe after several revisions she and Dan made. As for Dan, he was on his best behavior for years. True to their agreement he cleaned the house every day, laundered, cooked, gardened and helped with the kids. He even initiated some projects he'd postponed for years, like painting the front porch and fixing the pool lighting. After a week without internet he started giving private mathematical lessons. His first client was a high school student who lived a few streets away. Dan marathoned the kid for a week before a big test, which ended with the boy getting an A+. After that he had two more students whose parents wanted the same. So now Dan had some pocket money and again they had an internet connection. It was a slow 1.5 meg connection, but it was better than nothing.

The kids were helping too. Dan found out it was much easier to keep a clean house if books, toys and clothes went back to their natural place after usage, instead of being left for the magical elves. Tom went into a jurisdictional strike at first, as this was a real downgrade for the little house prince. However, Dan was determined and the new rules, forced by some Sony PlayStation sanctions, soon became habits.

Ana found out suddenly she had far more free time on her hands than she could handle. She went back to old habits like reading books, oil painting she once so loved or just sitting on her butt and watching a stupid reality show at days end. Dan even initiated sex once during the weekend but she turned him down. It felt good to be on the courted side of the coin for once.

Thursday night found her in the living room, losing a checkers game to Tom while Dan sat on the opposite couch with Liana, reading to her a Dr. Seuss story. It was the picture she always dreamed of when she was little. How was she going to be able to shutter it?

"Baby, Baby, Baby, oohhh." Tom did a Justin Beiber, but in a funny voice cause everyone knew Justin Beiber is a girls' thing and therefore yuk. "Ah Ha, I'll eat your soldier again, mom. Yum, yum."

"You're clever." Actually he was getting good at checkers to the point Ana could soon stop pretending she didn't see obvious moves.

"David says I'm stupid."

"I think I should call David's mom."

"No, mom!" Tom stretched the first M. "That would be uncool. I'm no cry baby. "So now he had started to develop social awareness. Ana felt a pinch of sadness. They grow so fast.

"Are you sad because I'm winning again, mom? You want me to let you win this time?"

Ana kissed Tom's forehead, then the intercom buzzed.

"I'll get it." Tom jumped sending a rain of checkers' peons clickiting clackiting all over the floor.

"No, you stay and pick this up, then brush your teeth and off to bed. It's almost nine."

"It's your sister." Dan looked through the intercom camera.

"I know." Ana said. "Alice and I are going out."

"At this hour? What do you mean?"

"It means what it means." Ana looked him straight in the eye, registering when his sudden understanding turned into a complete shock. "Go on Tom, take your sister with you, I'll be coming to kiss you goodnight."

"I want to sleep in your bed tonight, mommy." Liana said.

"Daddy will be sleeping with you upstairs tonight."

"Yey!" Liana shouted. "Mommy and Daddy are sleeping in my bed tonight."

"I'm going and will return very late, but Daddy will be sleeping with you upstairs."

The doorbell canary whistled its happy tune and Ana felt butterflies rising, their gentle wings tickling all over her body and face. Dan, who stood inches from the door didn't open it. Instead he stared at it frozen and shocked. He reminded Ana of an actor in a B-movie, waiting on the imminent monster that is going to burst into the house and massacre everyone. She stepped forward and opened the door.

"Hi." Alice gave her a peck on her cheek. "You didn't even put make-up on."

"Five minutes, you can time me. Did you bring it?"

Alice placed a parcel in her sister's hands. "Take your time."

Ana went into her bedroom and Dan, who finally seemed to defrost, ran after her and grabbed her arm. "Come on Ana, are you really going through with this?" He sounded like a man about to drown.

"Dan."

"You don't have to, we don't have to..."

"I'm sorry Dan, we've agreed on this."

"Please don't go."

Ana pulled her arm gently and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Go to sleep, Dan."

"I'll wait for you." He said in a small voice.

"Upstairs."

"Upstairs."

@@@@@

Ana tried to dot under her eyes with the concealer. Her hand was shaking badly and some of the skin colored cream went in her eye. She immediately rinsed it under the tap and sat down on the edge of her bath.

You can do it, girl. You can do it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I'm not cheating on anyone, I'm not going behind his back. There is a part of me that's dying to feel like a woman again.

She had on a black lacy bra and matching pair of sexy undies Dan bought to her once as a romantic gesture on his birthday. She didn't think it was fair to wear them and bought a new pair just for the occasion, but she forgot it at the office. Ana slipped her finger inside her panties and gently caressed herself, she was already moist downstairs. Calm yourself girl, you can do it.

She went back to the bed where she stretched the evening dress Alice has brought her. It was one from Alice's days as a model, A Jovani or some other hot brand. It was dark blue, very clean cut, no frills or anything, and had an extremely low cut both at the front and at the back. She blushed just thinking of herself being seen in it by anyone she knew. The thought also exited her. There was a slight problem though, there was no way she could wear her bra without looking ridiculous. She considered her options and then simply slipped her bra off.

Outside in the living room the atmosphere was also beginning to warm up. Alice who always felt at home in her sister's house, or everywhere she went for that matter, scoured the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, ignoring Dan's venomous gazes. "You're out of sugar." She said.

"Can I get you cyanide instead?"

Alice raised her middle finger at him.

"It's you, isn't it?" Dan said.

"In the flesh." Alice tasted the coffee.

"You're bitter and miserable and you won't rest until you make everyone around you miserable."

Alice put down the coffee and raised her hands smiling. "Do I look miserable?"

To Dan she looked like a million dollars. He always thought Alice was far better looking than Ana, more than a woman had a right to be. "You're the one who planted all the crazy ideas in my wife's head."

"Oh, really? Can't you man up for like five minutes? Take a vacation from being a whiny jellyfish all the time? If you're looking for someone to blame, Danny boy, you only need to look in a mirror."

"Did you look in the mirror when your last hubby kicked your sorry ass for a twenty years younger model? I'm sure as hell wasn't the best of husbands, but-"

"That's right, you're a pathetic excuse for a husband with a dick that small." Ana placed her forefinger and thumb close together to emphasize just how small Dan was. "So tonight Ana will get herself a real man for once, I'll make sure of that, trust me, then we'll see whose ass's going to get kicked."

"You think you're so smart and liberated and powerful," Dan forced a smile. "The truth is, Alice, is that you're a lonely bitch without friends or family. A lone bitch that spreads her legs to strangers so she can feel something."

"Fuck you."

"I wouldn't touch your kind with a stick, even in a million years."

"Oh, don't say that, Dan. Thinking of your naked beer belly, jelly muscles and receding hairline always makes me hot."

"And time is not stopping for lonely bitches. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Seen the little ugly lines that weren't there ten years ago? My wife will eventually sober up and she'll come back to me. When this is done, you'll still be a lonely bitch, and one day even spreading your legs will not be enough." Dan didn't let Alice answer, he turned his back to her and rushed the stairs after his kids.

"What was that all about?" Ana chose that moment to step out of the living room. "What wouldn't be enough?"

"Wow, sis, just wow." Alice clapped her hands. "I knew it. I just knew it."

Ana rose on her high heels and whirled like a ballerina. "You like?"

"I'll have to bring a bat to keep the wolves away." Alice said.

"Hey, what's that?" Ana touched her finger to her sister's cheek. A tear created an eyeliner trail from the corner of Alice's eye to her cherry colored lips."

"Nothing, just the excitement. I'll fix it in a jet. Let's go burn Tel Aviv."

@@@@@@@@@@@@

The Chin Chin dance bar at Tel Aviv harbor was full to the brim and Ana figured the owner must be violating at least dozen municipal safety rules. It was actually ok with her because that way nobody paid her much attention. The D.J, Ana didn't catch his stupid name, was vibrating the air with electrical house music and the strobes thumped the dance floor to the rhythm. The floor itself looked to Ana like a living organism made of young sweaty sexy bodies. She felt out of touch, out of context and out of age.