'Want to tell me about it?"
"Do you want to hear about it?"
"Maybe we should compare war stories. Might help us understand each other better."
"Ok, here goes. My wife had this friend that was a man hater. She saw me in a hotel restaurant with my sister in law. She was in town for a seminar and called me. So anyway, she couldn't wait to tell my wife about it. It was obvious that I was there to screw another woman. She worked on my wife all day and convinced her. So, instead of asking me about it, my wife picked up two black guys and made a video of her fucking them. I guess it was her idea of revenge. She wanted to hurt me. She emailed it to me. She never believed me when I told her the lady in question was my sister in law. I was in bad shape for a while. The rest is history. We split everything and I moved up here.
"Wow. That sounds terrible. How could she not ask you about it first."
"That bitch friend was the problem. She played my wife like a cheap fiddle."
"It been a little over a year ago. I'm fine now. What's your war story?"
"Not quite like yours. I came home early one day and found my husband in the living room getting fucked in the ass by his boyfriend. I never suspected he was bi. It was pretty easy to walk away from that. We didn't have any kids or many assets so it was over and done with quickly. That was two years ago. I got over it really fast. I still have that picture in my mind. I laugh about it now when I think about it."
"I'll bet your mouth fell open when you saw that. I can see you standing there, speechless."
"OK, enough of this downer stuff. Let's get this kitchen cleaned up and get back to business."
"Good idea. Not that I've seen you naked in the daylight I see some places I want to inspect closer."
"You look pretty good in the daylight too. Nice cock you have there. I'm guessing eight inches and I like the uncut part. First one I've seen. It looks like it needs more attention."
"It's been neglected for quite a while. I'll expect you to change that."
"Oh fuck yes. You can bet the rent money on that. I've got some neglected parts too."
We spend the next two days trying to fuck each other to death. We're almost successful. Sunday night I take her home. We kiss goodbye and promise to get together as soon as possible.
*****************
Over the next few months Brenda and I become closer and closer. We profess our love for each other and she moves in with me. She keeps her job at the casino. She doesn't want to sit around the house all day alone. She does manage to get on day shift and soon gets promoted to pit boss. Six months after she moves in we decide to get married and start a family. Two month later she misses her period and she gives birth to a beautiful 7lb 3oz boy. She quits her job and ten months later she give birth to a beautiful 6lb 10oz girl. We decide two are enough to keep her busy and I get a vasectomy.
I lose touch with all my friends in San Diego and never hear a word about Sarah. I suspect that Marcie has turned her into a carbon copy man hater. It would be a shame if that happened. She can be a very loving wife.
Brenda and I are planning on retiring and growing old together to watch our grandchildren playing in our yard.
The end.
1*
Too much time spent on making it a stroke story and not enough time spent on the story itself.
Could have been so much more.
The story line is great. But telling it in a king of stenographical way is not doing the trick at all. Very impersonal. Rattling of the story like that gets you quite a bit of diappointed readers. 2* for the effort.more...
More of an Outline with no Ending
Than a story.
Didn't really work for me.
If you don't include a scene showing the wife's reaction when she finds out the truth, the whole setup becomes excess. Just start your story with the protagonist hitting the road. We don't need to know the story of his first marriage unless you are going to give it resolution.
Thanks for sharing your story with us and I look forward to your next submission.more...
@Writer_Director 08/02/16
re:
Then if you have to include racist cliches, do some homework. Native American casino? The people who work there are from the tribe. She's blonde, and since you didn't specify her race she MUST BE white. Such a cliche.
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I worked with a very blond and blue-eyed young man that was on the tribal rolls since he was at least 1/16th ancestry of that tribe of Native Americans.
Depends on the tribe, some are very inclusive, some are very exclusive.more...
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