Will and Marnie Explore . . . Ch.04

Marnie does it her way

For those who haven't read the earlier chapters this story can stand alone. You can skip this synopsis and go straight to the story.

For those who have been following the saga of Marnie et al, here is a reminder of what has gone before. We started with 'Vanessa and Marnie In Conversation', in which Vanessa suggested that Marnie should have sex with Will, Vanessa's husband.

It was followed by Chapter 1 of 'Will and Marnie Explore', in which Vanessa explained the idea to Marnie's husband Barry. In Chapter 2, Marnie and Will decided on a three-session plan. They have their first session, where Marnie lies passively while Will works to pleasure her. While this is happening, Barry and Vanessa watch the proceedings from behind a one-way screen. In Chapter 3, for the second session the roles are reversed. But before Marnie pleasures Will, she spends the week practising on Barry. At the end of the week, Vanessa and Barry again observe the session when Marnie pleasures Will.

The plan for the third and final session is for Will and Marnie to have sex together with the other two again to observe from behind the one-way screen.

The three chapters so far of the 'Will and Marnie Explore' story have been told by Barry. In this chapter, Marnie tells her side of the story, going all the way back to the start with the initial 'Conversation', and taking the story through to the third session. This chapter completes the story.

You may find the early part of Marnie's story a bit repetitive, because it necessarily covers the same events already told by Barry. I hope that seeing those events through Marnie's eyes will be sufficiently different to hold the reader's interest.

*******

How it all started:

Just chatting about things in general

"So, Marnie, now that Ellie has left home, you and Barry are empty nesters?" My neighbour Vanessa and I were out on the back verandah enjoying the afternoon sun. We were just chatting about things in general, when Vanessa changed the subject of our conversation.

Both my daughters, Lynn and Ellie, had moved into a shared house close to the university, leaving Barry and me with our large home all to ourselves - 'empty nesters' as Vanessa said.

It was obviously going to be a new phase in our lives, but maybe not that much. Barry had his business that kept him very involved, and I did volunteer work with the elderlies down at the home, so it wasn't as though we would be hanging about with nothing to do.

Vanessa steered our conversation onto the girls' quite sexually active lifestyle and their relationships with various boys. The girls had always found it easy to talk with her, as she was a bit of a free spirit with no kids of her own. I suppose it's not unusual for teenage girls to think their mother is a bit stodgy and won't understand them, and they felt they could discuss with Vanessa the various personal things that were happening in their lives. Then she would tell me the things she thought I needed to know about. It worked quite well, actually.

I said I thought things had changed so much since I was their age. Vanessa disagreed. "Hmmm. Is it really all that different?"

She went on to discuss her own sexual exploits during her teenage years and then said, "I know you have said before that you came from a fairly strict household, but surely someone as attractive as you would have had lots of boyfriends?"

"I had friends that were boys, but I didn't have a real boyfriend as such until I started going out with Barry. My parents thought he was particularly nice and they encouraged him. We got engaged fairly quickly and we were married only a bit over a year later."

"If I'm getting too personal, stop me, but are you saying you didn't have sex before you got married?"

Barry and I had plenty of sex before we married, but he was my first and only. I wasn't his. He had several girlfriends before he met me and settled down. Vanessa drew those rather intimate pieces of information from me, and I surprised myself that I remained comfortable with the conversation as it became quite personal.

She did shock me a little, however, when after I told her that Barry had been my first and only before we married, she said, "And nobody since?"

"Of course not! I'm married. Surely you haven't done it with anybody else either since you married Will, have you?"

"No, I haven't," she said. "But Will has a few times."

Now I was really stunned. Vanessa seemed unperturbed and went on to explain that she had "done all her playing around" before she married Will, but that she had been his first and only just as Barry had been mine. Then, after Vanessa discovered he'd had an adulterous one-night stand with a lady he had worked with, she thought he should have more experience and so she arranged for him to have a couple more evenings with a recently divorced friend who "felt deprived" since her husband left her.

Vanessa laughed at the term her friend had used. "I said to her, 'how about you try my husband, he's good in bed'.

"My divorced friend took a bit of convincing that I actually meant it, but she eventually did it. Twice. And she enjoyed it a lot more with my husband than she had with her own one. Will really is very good at it." It almost sounded as though Vanessa was boasting about her husband's sexual prowess.

"He's good at it even though he didn't play around before he met you?"

"He learnt very quickly, and he's very experimental. I got him started on our second date, and after that he took to it like the proverbial. He still keeps experimenting. He knows the things I like and he knows the things I don't like, but there's often just some little twist that he adds every now and again to our lovemaking."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going. "Don't you think maybe we're getting into the area of too much information?"

"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "I think this is interesting. I think there is so much more a man can do to turn a woman on than the other way round. Women are a lot more complicated than men when it comes to sex, and it takes a really good man in bed to find all the different things a woman finds enjoyable. And it's so easy for a woman to lose the mood, or at least it is for me. Some men are just dull and boring in bed. I know before I met Will there were times I faked an orgasm just to get it over and done with."

"Every woman does that sometimes."

"I don't any more. Sometimes I don't need to go all the way there and I just enjoy the sexy play. Will understands that and he goes along with it."

"Barry would think that he wasn't doing his job properly if he didn't give me an orgasm. It doesn't happen very often from just having ordinary sex with him, so he uses his fingers or sometimes his tongue afterwards."

Looking back on that conversation after Vanessa had gone home, I was quite concerned by what I had revealed to her about my private life. But then, what I had said was mild compared with what Vanessa had quite openly revealed to me about her sex life and her marriage relationship with Will.

What was most concerning of all was that at the end of our conversation, Vanessa actually suggested that I might like to have sex with Will! "I'm not pushing you. But have a think about it. Like I said to the other lady, 'how about you borrow my husband?' I know that given half a chance, Will would be delighted to help you discover all sorts of things there's a good chance you haven't even thought of."

Crazy. I not only hadn't thought about it, I didn't want to think about it. I certainly wasn't going to tell Barry about that part of our conversation.

*******

'If I did, what might it be like?'

That night in bed as I lay side-by-side with Barry, the hand ventured over to rest on my tummy. I felt it move over the thin fabric of my nightie up to cup my left breast. Then across to my right.

There's a standard procedure for the hand. It's always my left one first, then the right, and then it trails back down over my tummy, cups my mound and squeezes it through my nightie. It's always the same when the hand comes over to my side when we're in bed.

I started counting silently to myself. I got to ten before Barry stretched further down to the hem of my nightie. 'Yes, ten seconds would be about the standard time for that bit. Next, up with the nightie', and so I ticked off the steps, one by one.

It's hard to make love successfully while you're mentally analysing what your partner is doing, step by step through the routine. 'Damn you, Vanessa' I thought at the end. Our lovemaking wasn't very exciting these days, but it was OK. Unlike when Barry and I were younger, these days I rarely had an orgasm from having ordinary sex. Barry was always keen for me to climax, so he used his fingers on my clitoris after he had withdrawn, which usually worked. But it was certainly not uncommon for me to "fake an orgasm just to get it over and done with" as Vanessa had said.

'I wonder whether what Vanessa did tonight with Will was different from that', I thought as I listened to Barry's light snoring. He had dropped off quickly, leaving me wondering. 'If I did do what Vanessa is suggesting, what might it be like?' Eventually I drifted off too and my mind slowly went blank.

The next morning Barry went off to work as usual and I was left with my troubled thoughts. I had to talk with Vanessa again. Could I really consider what she was saying? Sex with Barry had been so good in the early days when I was new to it and he was teaching me. But as the years rolled on we got in a rut and now there was a sameness about what we did. Did I want to die wondering if it would feel different with somebody else?

The days went on, and Vanessa seemed never to be home. I was becoming more and more frustrated, wanting to at least ask her a few questions about how she and Will came to accept such an unusual arrangement.

Then, another evening in bed, the hand again came travelling over its well-worn path.

By the end of the week I was really wondering. Maybe I should. If I did, what might it be like?

*******

"I'm not saying I want him, but . . . . "

"Did you tell Barry what we were talking about the other day?" Finally, on Friday, Vanessa was home. I had to talk with her. We were sitting on her back verandah.

"Not everything. I told him we were talking about the girls and how I thought things have changed since I was their age and how you said that you had been a bit of a wild child like Barry was, but I didn't go further than that."

"So what did Barry say?"

"He asked about Will and I told him that you said he had a sheltered upbringing, but we dropped the topic after that."

"So that's all you talked about?"

"I think he probably would have been interested if I went further, but I just needed to think a lot more about it before I decided what to do or what to tell Barry."

"But you have been thinking about it?"

"I can't bloody well stop thinking about it! I've had nightmares. I haven't thought about anything else since you told me. What about you? Did you tell Will?"

"Oh yeah. I told him, and he was more than just interested. He even played pretend all that night in bed. He called me Marnie while he was biting my ear and he just went on and on from there. The idea of having you in bed really turned him on. He kept saying 'does Marnie like this, does Marnie like that?' and then 'gee Marnie feels good' when he slipped it in. He kept playing his game until we had finished. He's definitely yours if you want him."

"I'm not saying I want him but . . . . "

"But what?" Vanessa's smile looked conspiratorial.

"But Barry, for starters. I think Barry would throw me out in the street if I cheated on him. And if he thought that I found another man better in bed than he is, I don't think he could cope."

"Well perhaps you shouldn't let him know, then."

"I don't think I could do something like that and not have him find out. Even if I decided to hide it and lie to him, I would feel guilty and he would see me looking guilty every time we were together with Will." I was pensive. "No, I don't see how that could work."

Was I actually considering this seriously? The thought of having truly enjoyable sex, even just once with Will, was so tempting the way Vanessa described it. But I had never before lied to my husband. Sure, there were little fibs and things I hadn't told him to avoid embarrassment sometimes, but never a big one. Certainly nothing like this. But then, I couldn't ask him either. He would blow a gasket if he thought I was even thinking of something like this.

But then again . . . . If it was OK for Vanessa with Will, why shouldn't it be OK for Barry with me? Like her, Barry did lots of playing around before . . . .

Vanessa interrupted my thoughts. "But you think you could do it if we can find a way for him to not find out? Or perhaps if we could find a way to tell him and get him to accept it?"

"I'm intrigued. After we talked last week, and after the last couple of nights in bed with Barry, I really have started thinking whether I want to take my last breath wondering what I am missing out on - what it would have been like with somebody other than my husband."

"This week hasn't been a screaming success in bed?"

"You could say that. I've known it all along, really, but after the other day I've been concentrating on it. It's just the sameness of what we do. It's like we go through a checklist until Barry ejaculates and I fake an orgasm."

*******

My dilemma. To tell or not to tell?

Looking back on the moment I made the decision, I can only say that I felt that something was missing in my life - something that Barry had provided more than enough of when we were younger, but which had faded and was no longer there. Could I re-capture it? If it wasn't there now with my husband, would I find something more with Will? When it came to sex, Barry had taught me all that I knew.

Would there be something else I might discover with Vanessa's husband? Vanessa had several boys before Will, and Barry had several girls before me. Had they experienced things that I had missed out on? How will I ever know if I don't do what Vanessa suggests?

"So," said Vanessa, "If we can find a way to get Barry to see things with you the same way that I see things with Will, you'd do it?"

"I've decided. One way or another I'm going to do it. I'm definitely going to try your husband." I said it and, stupid though it was, I really meant it when I said it. Vanessa had planted the thought in my mind, and the frustration of the last week had caused that thought to grow and spread and block out all reason.

"OK, good. So which is it to be?" Vanessa had a real firmness in her voice as she said it, as though she was ensuring that I wouldn't change my mind. "Do we work on you so that you don't look guilty after you've done it, so that Barry doesn't find out, or do we work on Barry to get him to accept that you need to experience something that you missed out on earlier in life?"

"Yes. Which is it to be?" A male voice came from behind me.

I froze. Then I sighed with relief when I saw it was Will. "Oh hell! You scared me. I didn't see you come in. I thought you were Barry."

"No, all's well," said Vanessa. "So?"

"I suppose that if Barry doesn't know about it he won't be hurt by it," I said. "But it would be so much nicer if we could get him to agree that he and I should have an arrangement like you two do."

"Nicer, yes, but is it possible?" Vanessa wondered. "There's our dilemma. Who should do what now?"

"Yes," said Will. "What do you plan to do now? Is there something Vanessa and I can do?"

We didn't answer those questions.

*******

"I had a long talk with Vanessa yesterday"

My Saturday was committed to be with several other volunteers down at the home showing the elderlies how to use the internet to keep in touch with their friends and rellies. There are some particularly nice old people down there, and we were able to make contact with some of their grandkids. The day's activities kept me occupied and kept my mind off the troubling decision I had made yesterday.

In the evening I went with the other volunteers to a cafe for dinner, so by the time I arrived home, Barry was asleep in bed. He woke briefly for a sleepy 'good night' as I climbed into bed and then he dropped off to sleep again.

I lay there with all the thoughts of what I had agreed with Vanessa going around in my mind. It was ridiculous. But if there was a way to make it work . . .? Impossible. The only way it could ever be right would be if Barry agreed to it like Vanessa had agreed for Will to do it, and there was no way Barry would ever agree to anything like that. But if he did . . . .?

'No. Forget it. Not going to happen,' I thought to myself. 'Tomorrow I'll tell Vanessa to drop the idea.'

And eventually I drifted off to sleep.

On Sunday morning Barry and I had finished breakfast and I had told him about how yesterday had gone with the elderlies and the volunteers, and I said "How did your day go yesterday?"

Barry said "I had a long talk with Vanessa yesterday evening."

I gasped in shock. No! No!

"It's OK," he said, calmly. "It was a long talk and she even explained some things to me that she hasn't told you about. I told her that you and I would have a talk about it and decide what we want to do."

This couldn't be. What had she done? What had she told my husband? If only she had waited, I could have told her I had changed my mind.

"Look, I'm really sorry about all this Barry," I babbled. "Vanessa came up with the idea of Will and me having sex together and it sort of got to me and sounded exciting and different. We even talked about doing it and not telling you about it. But I can see now that it's a silly idea that won't work and we really should just forget about the whole thing."

Barry was firm. "No, we can't just forget about it. The stable door is open and the horse is half-way down the paddock. We have to talk it through and you and I have to decide what we want to do. Vanessa said that what they did was good for her as well as for Will, and she thinks that if you do it with Will it will be good for both of us too. We need to decide if we think that's right or not."

This was ridiculous. "You're actually considering it? Do you seriously think that if I have sex with another man it won't affect our marriage?"

"I didn't say that. Of course it will affect our marriage. Vanessa said it would be a positive effect, but I don't know. And it's not just 'sex with another man', it's sex with Will, not some random bloke you pick up at the pub. Look, there's so much we have to think about before we make any decision and it's not like we have to make it tomorrow. It's our decision, not Vanessa's or anybody else's, so let's just talk about it, hey?"

*******

A most unusual Sunday

We sat there and Barry talked me through his time yesterday afternoon with Vanessa. He had finished working around the yard, and she had called him over for a glass or three of wine and some nibblies. Will was out for the evening, just as I had been, so they had a couple of hours together as she explained the things she and I had been discussing over the past week or so.

But she had gone much further with Barry than she had with me. Will is a social researcher and their house is also their workplace. They apparently have a room out the front which is used for interviews and focus groups, and it was in this room that Will had sex with the lady who had "felt deprived".

Vanessa had shown the room to Barry, and had then taken him into another room which was separated from the front room by a one-way glass panel. Incredibly, Vanessa had watched Will and the deprived lady from behind the one-way panel on both occasions. And they had actually agreed that she could watch!