Wilmington Woman's Club Ch. 17

"Yes, exactly," he says, "But how do you spell it? That's what got me up out of bed." And he promptly goes back to bed, and is snoring in ten minutes with his hand tucked between my legs.

"The next day it bothered me a little. More than a little, let me tell you. But, there are stranger things than a man looking up words in the dictionary at three o'clock in the morning. Ah, but then the phone bill comes on the eleventh of the month... like fucking clock work."

"Uh-oh," Val said.

"Indeed. Listed under long-distance calls at two-forty-eight in the morning is a call to Cambridge, Massachusetts. Twelve minute call, so maybe I wasn't wrong about that click. I'm not a complete dummy. I call the phone company, tell them the number is unfamiliar to me, can they please let me know to whom it is listed? I was very cool, very calm, to whom, mind you, even though my fucking hand is shaking on the phone. The operator tells me the phone is listed to one Felicia Brownstone, who happens to be a junior something or other at Doug's company, who by the way curtsies me half to death every time I go up there. Nineteen years old if she's a day, and my husband is calling her at two-forty-eight in the morning. That's when I first wanted to kill him... kill them both."

"I'm glad you didn't," Val said.

"Cooler heads prevailed," Heather said, and smiled.

She herself looked nineteen when she smiled. A big girlish grin cracked her face, blue eyes squinching shut. Thirty years old, and still looked like a teenager, firm cupcake breasts, flat tummy, the long legs and lithe body of a team swimmer -- which she'd been in high school. No children, which was a blessing, Val thought.

"I called a lawyer recommend to me by the woman who threw the Halloween party. She's been divorced three times herself. She had me put a tail on Mr. Sudden hot-pants, and it turns out I was mistaken in that he wasn't screwing young Felicia blind, two, three times a week. He's screwing her deaf, dumb and blind every day on his lunch hour, plus the two, three times a week he has to work late on all those important accounts of his. You should hear the fucking tapes..." Heather paused, then laughed, "Fucking tapes is exactly what they are, Val."

"You've got tapes?"

"Well a tape. I'll play it for you some night over a bottle of red wine."

"You've got it?"

"Well, no, it's in the lawyer's office. And you should hear Felicia delivering her lines: 'I just adore sucking your gweat big dick, golly gee; I can cum heaps sucking that big bee-yoo-ti-ful dick of yours, Dougie.' The little bitch!"

"Don't tell any of this to Joe when he gets here," Val said.

"When will that be?"

"As soon as he can get away. Something important came up."

"Well, for your sake, I certainly hope it wasn't his dick."

"Heather!"

"I'm sorry, Val. I'm just being a real bitch today. I guess I'll have to see if I can get laid tonight."

"Heather! What's gotten into you?"

"It's what's not getting into me that's causing the problems these days. Have you ever?"

"Have I ever what?"

"Cheated on Joe."

"No, of course not!"

"Has he ever...strayed on you?"

"No..." Val paused, gave the question more thought, then said, "No, definitely not. I'd know if he did."

"Of course you would," Heather said, and lit a cigarette. Exhaling the smoke, she said, I've been with ten men since I found out about him." The last word was laden with scorn.

"If my lawyer knew, he'd kill me."

"You ought to be more careful."

"Not as long as I have that tape."

"Was Joe your first one?"

"No," Val said.

"Who was?"

"A boy at Duke."

"You never told me."

"I feel funny telling you now."

"I was a virgin when I married Doug." Suddenly her voice broke. She snatched a lace-edged handkerchief from her handbag just as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I hate that bastard, I really hate him. I can forgive her, she's just a dumb impressionable...no goddamn it, I hate them both!"

She covered her face with the handkerchief and began sobbing uncontrollably into it.

Val didn't sleep well that night, wondering if Joe would cheat on her.