Wilmington Woman's Club Ch. 43

"He would ... he probably would," Val agreed.

"I've thought about sticking a pin into his precious condoms. That might do the trick, but he might find out. At the very least his suspicions would be aroused, and if he found out he'd never be the same man I know and love today."

"Um, I have an idea," Val said quietly.

"I'm listening," Natalie said, and wiped a tear from her eye, then reached for some tissues, handed one to Val and dabbed at her eyes with the other.

"Tell his parents. They want grandchildren; they might put pressure on him that you can't. For that matter, tell your folks too."

"He'd know I did it."

"So what? All's fair in love and war."

"So I'm at war with Vic?"

"No, you're in love with him."

The two women looked everywhere but at one another for the next two minutes as their minds raced pondering a way out of Natalie's problem.

"Natalie, maybe this morning's ... activity will be positive. I certainly hope so. But remember your husband's happiness is just as important as your own. Obviously, Vic's happiness is important to you, but is the reverse true? I mean, no one can tell you how much you want or don't want a child. I can tell you this; if you want a baby the want won't go away. It will get stronger and stronger as time goes by.

"So the question you have to ask yourself is, "If I give up having a child, will I resent my husband for the rest of my life?" If the answer is "Yes," then eventually your marriage will end. On the other hand, if your husband agrees to have a baby, will he resent you for the rest of his life?"

So ... um, I know this is difficult to hear ... believe me it's just as difficult to say ... having or not having children is a deal breaker for long term fulfillment in a marriage. This is something that's discussed by every couple before marriage. Sometimes two wonderful people are simply not a match for each other. I strongly recommend that you talk this over with your mother and possibly your pastor. But ultimately you have to confront him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you want to get pregnant. That if he refuses the marriage is over. You'll want a divorce and a tidy settlement. He knew going into the marriage you wanted children; you wouldn't have married him had you known he felt that way."

"But we never discussed having children. I always wanted them, sure... but we never sat down and talked about it, Val. I can't accuse him of something that didn't happen."

"Why the hell not?"

"What?"

"Basically it would be your word against his. Most couples have that conversation. It's kind of expected that a married couple will try to have kids. I know it's not a Constitutional right, but damn it, Nat, more people will side with you than with Vic on the subject."

"I'd lose him, Val. I can't do that to him and save our marriage."

"The bottom line, Nat, pure and simple is what kind of marriage do you foresee for yourself if you give up all thought of having a child?"

"I ...I don't know."

"Talk to him. Maybe you don't make it an all or nothing conversation. But you need to know just how strong his resistance to having children is. What I'm saying is that when you find out just where he stands you can move on to your next step whatever that may prove to be."

Natalie hugged Val tightly and sobbed, "I appreciate what you've said, Val. You're a great friend and I treasure you. I ... I'll think about what you've said, really I will. And you ... you be sure to call me if anything else comes to mind, okay?"

"I will," Val promised as they hugged again. They fell silent for a time. Val took a small mirror from her purse and examined her face then applied some touches to her make up. Natalie wandered into the kitchen and poured herself another cup of coffee, but didn't taste it.

"I should be going," Val said after awhile. "Yes, I guess ...." Natalie agreed, and they stood up, hugged again and Val left.

Natalie sat down and gave serious thought to their discussion and the ramifications to her marriage if she were to confront her husband about her need to have a child.

The coffee was cold to her tongue when she finally picked it up and drank, but she finished the cup, put it down and sat in the chair until Vic came home four hours later.