Winter Sunshine

It was a super cold day even the winter sunlight shined down hard and clears. The air felt crisp, and I honestly felt ready for another. It truly felt like my life was turning around. I stood at the door of my townhouse watching the kids across the street have a snowball fight. Spike was up in the window on top of the coffee colored couch, getting his sun bathing on for the day. The house was toasty but the small dog still needed his morning and afternoon sun bathe under my huge picture window the couch was under. I stood there at my front door, thinking back over the last few months and where my life was going. I didn't like what was there. I had sex with 4 different women something I never thought my morals would let me do. I had beat down Mathis for him being his self, and that's out of my character. I hadn't called or talked to my mother or twin brother in ages, and I didn't even know how my father was doing. I have been so rapped up in my pain that I disconnected from pretty much everything. But standing in the light of the winter sun I knew that, it was time to change. I went and got a pencil and paper and sat down on the couch, to write down the new rules of my house. First I had to stop having sex, so no sex till I get my mind straight. Second I got to make up with my boys and get in contact with my mom and twin brother Donavan. Third I had to get some help to heal, cause I can't do it by myself.

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A week had passed and I was again out in the sun, starting to feel like a man again. I had called all the women I had dated and made peace with as many as I could but not all where going to be friends with me. I had called Tracy my buddy, and probably my only female friend I had not dated, to come and have lunch with me. I sat in the Café and drank my coffee my head in my hands, the feelings in me still hadn't been worked out all the way. I needed some one to talk through some of my darkest thoughts with, and that's when Tracy in her pink Capri's and matching shirt with the blue jean jacket that road high on her back showing off one of many of her tattoos that was above her back side. Her Cuban features strong on her brown skin and her red tinted hair reach down past her shoulders. Why I haven't dated her is beyond me. Hello Dovan said Tracy as she placed herself in the chair across from me. Hi Tracy thank you for coming today, I really needed a friendly face to speak what's on my mind. Dovan Said. I signaled the waiter and we placed are orders with him and sat talking about are mothers and other friendly subjects till are food arrived. I had the morning skillet and a large cup of Oj; Tracy had her normal toast and coffee that she lived by. I was glad to see even that go down, I had argued with ER for months to get her to start eating breakfast but some people just don't eat breakfast. We dug in and she watched me eat.

Dovan there is something I wanted to tell you to. Tracy said looking at me and taking a sip of her mocha coffee blend. Ok lady go a head I can wait you go first Dovan said. Look I'm not sure if I should say this to you but I need you to know that I see you as a little brother and a best friend. That if we where to date that would truly complicate things and then we wouldn't be friends anymore, and I need you in my life full time Dovan. Tracy said. My heart had just broken a new, I hadn't called her here for that but even still the shit hurt. She looked at me for any change in facial expression hoping that I was not mad. I probably deserved that in all honesty and another small door in my heart felt like it was closing Harding. Tracy spoke before I could, I just want to make sure we are on the same page and that you know that I am still seeing Mathis older brother Dewitt. I still hadn't said anything and reminding me that my best female friend was giving it up to a man whom was a kin to the ass whole Mathis didn't help to endure her to me. Lady Dovan said finally speaking to Tracy.

I didn't call you hear for that, I called you hear to express some feeling that I need to get off my chest, and not to ask you out lady, Ok? Dovan said. Tracy looking apologetic reached for Dovan's hand. Pulling back from her physical touch I launched into my story. Tracy you know I was dating a woman named Samyah and that she was like a high school sweet heart. Tracy began to speak but I rushed on trying to get it all out for she could ask any questions. I got Samyah pregnant a month or so ago and instead of coming to me she went and got a abortion and told Percin about it before she dipped out town on me. After that I just went hog wild and that's what I been holding inside of me. She killed my child Tracy. My tears ran down in a river on both sides of my face. Tears falling into the juice I didn't even realize I had spilled. Thoughts of the lovemaking and the things I had done sense then flashing in my eyes, the women I had tried to replace Samyah with. Nothing had worked to end the pain of knowing that I had lots a child before I knew my baby even existed. Tracy sat stunned across from me. I stood and said quickly as I began to lose my composure. I have to go lady. I put a fifty-dollar bill on the table and got up from my shame, pain, and memories. Dovan drove of before Tracy could even close her mouth.

Tracy sat at the table stunned by what her ears had just heard, and sick to her core by what she had just said to him. Tracy had heard from her friend Porcha that Dovan was a dog and that he had slept with her and then played the distance game. If it wasn't for that one time conversation and the fact that she had a really great relationship shaping up with Dewitt. They where not lovers but she had kissed him and new his love was more profound then anything any other man could offer. She saw the pain in Dovan eyes and she felt for him and new he wasn't the playboy his friend made him out to be but just another hurt person in the world. She stood and made her way to her car, a black Camery. Dewitt came out from across the street, from inside an apartment building. Dewitt didn't see her, he was to occupied with buttoning his pants and trying to detach the thin white woman with reddish blond hair from his tall dark frame. She stood there as he stopped and kissed her and slid his hands down into her housecoat and massaged the woman's private parts. World seem to spin and then instantly snap back into place for Tracy. Dewitt looked up and saw her and she gave him only a single knowing head nod before she got into the car. Her heart was a heavy and as hard as Dovan's was at that moment and things seemed to clear for her, maybe if she was wrong about one thing she could surely be wrong about another, and as Tracy pulled off a single tear ran down her face.

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I had gone home and fed Spike, and with my heart heavy I went into the kitchen and got a beer, and proceeded to the couch where I laid down on the couch and sipped my beer. Thinking that Tracy knew that I liked her but had read me wrong, and not knowing if I ever would talk to her again with our out burst between us. I was thinking that it would have been nice if we had gone out was the last thought I had as I drifted off into the either of sleep. Bang bang bang!!! I was jolted awake by the door and by Spike Jumping to the back of the couch to peek out between the blinds to look outside. Again the bang bang bang followed by Spikes barks ringed out into the darkness that was absolute, it had to be around 4:30 in the morning and I had no clue who in god's great graces was at my front door. Stood and walked to the door, swinging it open and looking out at a rumpled and tear stained Tracy.

What happen lady I asked, my arms reaching for the hurting soul standing in front of my couch? I walked over to my chair and snatched my throw off the back of the couch. I rapped the small blanket around her frame and sat her on the couch. Don't you move I am going to put some hot water on for some tea Tracy. Walking into the kitchen I filled the teapot and placed it on the stove. When I walked back in Tracy was on her feet coming directly at me. Dovan I am so sorry, I should have never said what I said to you when I met you for lunch Tracy said. Lady Just tell me what happen and don't worry about what you said its ok I replied. No its not Tracy said snatching away from me and throwing herself back down on the couch and starting to cry. Lady I don't know what happen in the last few hours that's got you like this but its 4:30 in the morning and we need to rest and will talk in the morning. I want you to know something though lady. I kneeled down on the floor next to the couch, her eyes glittering with the light from the kitchen.

Got my heart broken mid senior year of high school. It felt like I didn't know what love was anymore, but at the time my mother was tarring me a new one and I felt shamed in her eyes. Then finally I woke up and I started to rebuild who I was in this life of mine. I am continuing to move forward and I have gone back and made peace with women and things that I have done. And for the most part I have gotten rid or put in its place my emotional baggage, and I see it for what it is. THE PAST. So leave what you said in the past, it hurt me but at the same time it was my past and I know that my future is changing. I walked back into the kitchen and made a half and half hot totty for Tracy, and a double shot of a totty for me. I drank my and felt the warmth of the alcohol as the hot tea and whisky slid down my neck and hit my stomach. She sipped at hers and coughed. I covered her with a blanket and tucked her in and got in my chair. The alcohol doing its work and making me fall to sleep. Last thing I felt was Spike jumping up into the chair and laying down between my legs.

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When I woke up the next morning she was still there on the couch, it being Sunday I figured she could sleep in without missing work or anything; her body needed rest just like her heart needed fixing. I got up and went into the kitchen and made Coffee and waffles. I sat down and listen to the local public radio station trying to catch up on world events. I sat there thinking about rather I should ask Tracy what happened last night. As she walked in and slid my plate from in front of me and began to eat my breakfast I decided to just leave it alone unless she brought it up. I stood up and went and got a second plate and some of the extra food I made. I poured her some juice and sat back down passing her the juice. The lack of words didn't bother me. I had been there before and know that sometimes silences is the most forgiving sound. I placed the scrapes in Spikes bowl and washed and cleaned the kitchen.

I went up stairs and lay out across my bed, fully intending to go back to sleep. I felt her presence first and then Tracy climbed onto my bed and lay next to me squirming into the crock of my body. Her hands finding sensitive places on me to touch. She wanted me to make her feel something, and anything at that moment, and being so hurt and torn on the inside I needed to feel just as much as Tracy did. I rolled over and kissed her pinning her to the bed under my frame. I slid my tongue over her lips and down into the crease between her thick breast. I moved down and took my time sucking on her toes. Taking each one into my mouth and slowly working my hands down her calves. I slid my tongue down the back of her leg and slowly began to lick and bite at the sensitive skin on the back of her knee. Her body arched in surprise at my deft manipulation of her body. I slid down to a laying position and reached for her, placing my hand on the exposed mid drift that her kapries didn't hide. I undid her clothing and stripped her naked in one fluid motion. I took my boxers and t-shirt off and lay down to enjoy my meal.

I spread her pussy lips apart and tasted her clitoris. Tracy reared upwards and pushed herself into my mouth. Reaching under her and palming her ass, I began to lick down from her clit in long slow licks and was met by the rush of wetness. Pushing upwards with my hands I began to fuck Tracy with my tongue, her hands going for the back of my head. Tracy hips moved in time with my slow rotation of my tongue. Placing her back on the bed I reached down and stuck my pointer finger inside of her and placed my thumb on her clit. Began moving my fingers in and out of her pussy, the juices on my hands smelling of rose pedals. Every third stroke moving my finger towards her G-spot. Her pussy tightens around my hand and squeezing out her fluids. I reached up and squeezed Tracy erect nipples between my moist finger tips, and began pushing down on her middle as I began to double pump hard and fast her insides. Her spasm causing her to bare down on my fingers in Tracy's strong release. She Rolled off of my hand and motioned for me to lie down.

As I did Tracy placed herself between my legs My Penis was erect and hard, as I felt her take me into her mouth. Tracy tasted me and then put her hand around my base and took me deeper into her mouth. Shivers ran up and down my body as she set about her work. Tracy held it in her hand and went under it to take my balls into her mouth. I felt my need increasing and pulled her up and kissed her. Her tongue finding my lips as I nibbled at her bottom lip. I felt an intense heat as my dick slips home with a slurp. Tracy moaned and ran her fingers down my chest as she grinded me deeper, I tried to speak and she put a finger over my mouth. I took her finger and put it in my mouth. Tracy ridding increased in its speed as she worked herself into frenzy. My hands found her breast and I slowly worked my way to her nipples.

I leaned up and put my mouth around them and tipped Tracy over the edge of ecstasy. Tracy vaginal muscles began to tighten as her body went rigid on top of mine. I thrust my hips up trying to stroke my way through her orgasm. Tracy bit down on my shoulder and cause me to wince as I thrust home and felt her pussy release its nectar on my members tip. I held Tracy in my grip and rocked her softly. Dovan did you cum? Tracy asked. Not yet I replied. She rolled off of me and started to pull at my hips. I climbed on top of her and re entered the home of Tracy's wetness. Her hands where on my hips and she pulled me down to her. I pushed and a deep moan escaped her lips. The heat and the pressure was bulging in my member. The feel of her skin slightly dam and hot to the touch under me was as arousing as the smell of white diamonds that she had sprayed into her hair. She lifted her legs and gave me entry to her back room. I glanced down between her legs and my dick was soaked with her sugary treat.

Her Moans deepened and I speed up driving myself towards my climax, my dick pounding inside her at a speed where her pussy made pleasure sounds as I filled it. She reached for my penis and pulled it out. She began masturbating it and smacking it on her clit as she trembled under me. I pushed it against her pussy lips and let me dick tip press against her clit. My release matched hers as we stroked to are release in the sudden quietness of the moment. The sensation of my dick slick with her juices and mine as I pulled out and glanced down at the mess pie we had made together in my bed. I rolled off and laid beside her, she clung to my side and placed her head on my chest. I rubbed Tracy head and she drifted off to sleep and I felt myself slipping from consumes. I knew one thing what ever her motivation for sleeping with me. There was going to be trouble with Mathis and his Punk ass family on my horizon. Especially since I just hit his brother's girl. I slept well for the first time in a long time.