Wish Upon A Star

#

"Sweetheart? Do you want to eat dinner?" my mother asked peeking her head into my room. Groggily I lifted my tired head from my pillow and turned to face her.

"Yes, momma. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Baby," she said sweetly coming into my room and sitting down on my bed next to me. "What's wrong? You never nap in the middle of the day."

"Nothin' momma, just a long day's all," I lied. "Didn't sleep a wink last night. Not used to my old bed yet." She smiled and gently stroked my damp hair.

"Well, when you wanna talk about 'nothin'', you let me know. I'm here."

"Thanks momma," I said with a smile and a yawn. She rose and walked out the door, leaving me to put on some clothes to make myself decent before going down to dinner. It was dark in my room, I noticed, as I rose to find some pants and a tee-shirt. It was only seven and the sun was out until after 8:30 on the late spring nights. I peered outside from behind my curtains and noticed the drizzle steadily quenching the parched earth. I slipped on a pair of flannel pants and a tee-shirt I had laying around and went downstairs. Before me stood the same picture that I had seen the night before, only with a different spread of food before us. I said nothing to anyone as I sat down to the table and I ate my meal in silence. No one prodded as to why I was in such a somber mood, and I was grateful for it. Everyone cleared their plates and my mother looked at me as she asked whose turn it was to do the dishes. I raised my hand without quarrel I took my place at the sink as they filed out of the kitchen. I ran the warm water and opened the dishwasher in preparation, soaping up a sponge in the process. As I began cleaning a plate over the sink a clap of thunder interrupted me. Shaking our house, the noise was enough to scare me into dropping the plate on the tile floor. It broke into tiny pieces and scattered over the same-shade white floor. I hated summer thunderstorms because they always brought with them the chance of a tornado and the last thing I wanted was to suffer through another home wrecking storm as I had so many years before. I turned to grab the dustpan and brush from the corner, staring at Brayden holding them out to me, smiling. I wordlessly took them and began sweeping up the shattered pieces of the dinner plate.

"I've done enough wrong today," I uttered. "I don't need you here to rub anymore in my face."

"Piper, about today," he began.

"Forget about it. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. Let's move on with our lives."

"But Piper--"

"I don't want to talk about this with you," I told him sternly.

"Piper--"

"Please," I pleaded tearfully, "leave me be. Go on. I don't need your help." The thunder roared again as I instinctively flinched while sweeping.

"These storms really get to you, huh?"

"I don't need you around to witness any more of my flaws. Please go."

Finally he did as I asked him and he went upstairs. I finished cleaning the broken glass and washing the dishes before I went upstairs to lay in my bed. It was barely past eight, but I put my shorts and tank top back on and turned off my light. Curled into the fetal position with my eyes clamped shut, I pulled my blankets to my face and tried to block out the roaring storm that raged outside my windows.

#

I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep when I heard the open and close of the door and someone creep in. As they sat down, I felt a hand reach out and stroke my hair.

"Oh momma," I said tearfully, droplets escaping through closed eyes, "I did somethin' real dumb today. I know I shouldn't be gettin' involved with Brayden seein' as how he works for us and all, but I couldn't help it, momma! I couldn't help it. I practically forced myself on him and made a fool of myself. Now, I don't know what to say to him. I feel so foolish I could just die. That's how I feel right now, like fallin' asleep here and never wakin' up again. Least not 'til he's gone home. Oh, I feel so stupid. He probably hates me now, thinks I'm some kind of floozy. But I've never been with anyone, momma. Honest. He's been tryin' to talk to me since we got back from the trail today. Lord only knows what he's been tryin' to tell me. Probably to tell me what I fool I was today. As if I didn't already know."

"I think he was trying to apologize to you for the harsh way he reacted," a smooth male voice said. I opened my eyes and turned over to face who I thought was my mother. "And he doesn't hate you," Brayden reassured me, continuing to stroke my cheek. "I was actually under the distinct impression that he was beginnin' to fancy you somethin' fierce. He was just a little startled by the suddenness of the whole situation's all. But I'm pretty sure he wants to patch things up, if you're willing to."

In the darkened room my hand found its way to his shadowed face, stroking it in the same fashion he touched mine. He found the stray tears that lingered on my cheeks and wiped them away, kissing the areas from which he took them. It didn't take long for him to find my mouth after, planting an innocent kiss upon it. He sat up slowly and looked down at me.

"I suppose I should go back to my room, huh?" It was more of a statement than a question. The thunder shook the house, the lightning brightened the sky momentarily and the wind howled through the screens of my windows. I grasped his hand tightly as I found my voice.

"Don't go," I pleaded. "I hate these storms. You can even go back to your room after I fall asleep if you want. Please, just stay 'til then." Without hesitation he stroked my cheek and slid into bed under the covers next to me, clad only in a pair of mesh shorts. I moved closer to the wall to give him more room. He pulled his body behind mine into a spooning position. He wrapped his arm about my waist and snuggled in, his downy breath cascading past the nape of my neck. The thunderclap again roared and the lightning lit up the sky. I shook with habitual terror and shrunk my body.

"Shhhhh, Piper," he whispered in my ear, kissing my lobe. "I'm here. I'm here." He continued to kiss my ear and neck to calm my nerves and take my mind off the storm at hand. "See? It's not so bad."

I breathed out sharply, letting a slight moan escape as his soft words floated into my ears. He stroked my stomach through the tank top, moving his kisses from the back of my neck down toward my shoulder. Breathing softly against my skin, Brayden reached up and moved the strap off to the side, letting it rest on my upper arm. His lips traveled sweetly over my exposed flesh, giving me goosebumps. His hand moved from my arm to the top of my chest, fingering the hollow of my throat and collarbone. My breathing quickened slightly as his lips and fingers expertly tantalized my skin. I put my hand over his and lifted it from my chest. I turned over to face him before I put it back. Brayden leaned in and took my bottom lip into his kiss, sucking on it gently. I closed my eyes and let the feelings take over me. I brought my hand up to his arm and stroked it softly, my fingertips tracing over the soft skin. He matched me move-for-move, letting his hand linger on my arm. I moved my hands to his chest and I felt him begin to do the same. He removed the thin fabric from my breasts and broke the kiss. I felt his soft breath on my nipples as his mouth drew closer. His tongue reached out to touch them, sending an electric jolt through my entire body. The night sky seemed to have felt it as well, brightening with a bolt of lightning. My eyes shot open as I arched my back and reached out for Brayden. I looked in front of me, my heart beating out of my chest. There was no one there. My only company was the sound of the rain pouring outside. I sat up and looked around, not trusting my eyes. I looked over at the clock; it was 10:56. My heart sank. I had been dreaming.

Suddenly, a flood of emotions overwhelmed me and the unstoppable tears took over. I wept quietly, not exactly sure why it was I was crying. I no longer cared about the storm outside because it ceased to exist. The falling tears became choked sobs, muffled by my pillow. A light knock came at the door. It was nearly 11, and everyone was supposed to be asleep by that time. I wiped the tears away hurriedly and sat up.

"Come in," I called softly. The door connecting to the bathroom crept open and Brayden stepped out far enough to see me. He stood before me only in a pair of boxers. "What are you doing up?"

"I came to ask you the same question," he replied in a near whisper, still clinging onto the doorknob with one hand. "Call of nature in the middle of the night, I was in the bathroom and I heard you. You okay?" I could feel my bottom lip trembling, attempting to betray me.

"I'm fine," I said shakily, trying to regain my composure. "Go on back to bed."

"To be honest, Piper," he began, rubbing the back of his neck, "I can't sleep. Not without sayin' some stuff I need to say."

"I really don't think now's a very good time," I told him, the tears reentering my voice. I could feel my eyes getting hot and the salty water beginning to fall.

"Piper, don't cry," he pleaded. He walked over to my bed and sat down, taking me into his arms. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted to come in and apologize for earlier." The mention of the day's earlier events, and the thought of my rejection, brought on another wave of tears. I tried my best to hold them back as he continued speaking to me. "I shouldn't have been so mean earlier, it's just that you, you took me by surprise -- you know? I wasn't expecting you to come on so strong."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I told him through tears.

"No, it's okay."

"No," I replied, pulling away from him, "it's not okay. Now that I think about it, mixing work and personal lives isn't a good idea. I was stupid for saying anything at all today. If I hadn't said anything, we wouldn't even have this problem now."

"It's not a problem," he whispered, wiping away a tear. "And even if you hadn't said anything today, I would have eventually. I mean, Piper, you've got beauty that even Aphrodite herself would be jealous of. And I really think that under your rough exterior, you're a nice, sweet girl. I wasn't tryin' to reject you today. I was just a little off-guard, you know? I mean, I hate talkin' like this 'cause it makes me sound like a chick, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I really don't want to let impulses take over me. If I do anything with any girl, it's gonna be 'cause I care about her. I mean, it can't just be 'cause I'm thinkin' with my other head."

"I've never let impulses take over me like they did today," I told him. "I've never even gone all the way. I don't know what came over me." There's just something about you. He seemed to tense up when I told him that.

"You're a..." he let the sentence trail off.

"A virgin," I said, completing the sentence for him. "Yes, I'm still a virgin. Why's that so hard to believe?"

"Well, I'd just heard about you and your boyfriend and everything, and I just assumed, you know. I mean, you two dated all through high school, right? What was his name, Paul?"

"No, just senior year and up until this past February," I told him.

"That's nearly a year and a half. And you two never..."

"No. We didn't. I mean, we almost did, but I didn't want to go through with it."

"You almost did?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, blushing in the dark. "We came real close."

"How close?" Brayden asked softly. "Like, you two had talked about it?" My embarrassment seemed to vanish as he asked more personal questions. His hand was on my blanketed thigh, unmoving.

"Oh, we had talked about it. But that's not what I meant." I sat quietly for a second to see if he wanted to hear more. I felt his hand move slightly on my thigh.

"What did you mean?"

"Well, we were at my dorm. He came up from Pepperdine to be with me on Valentine's Day. I know, I know, cheesy to lose your virginity on Valentine's Day, but it seemed sweet at the time. Well, anyway, Becca was back home visiting her boyfriend, so I didn't have to worry about her coming in or anything. So, we lit candles, he put on some tacky jazz CD that was all some guy playing love songs on a saxophone and we climbed into bed. I bought a little teddy to wear for him so I was layin' there in it--"

"What color?" he asked with an almost boyish quality, enraptured by my tale. I smiled mischievously as his hand tightened slightly on my leg.

"Light blue. Lacy at the top with a satin bottom. Anyway, I was layin' there, and we started kissin'." I paused, looking for the courage to say what I felt. "Paul's an all right kisser, but he's definitely not up to my standards of 'great'."

"How do I rate?" Brayden asked. I swallowed hard, putting my hand on his.

"You are the standard," I told him with downcast eyes. "But anyway, I'm gettin' away from the story. We were kissin', and he started to take off my teddy. Wasn't even sweet about it," I recalled sourly. "Just pawin' at me like I was a slab of meat in a piece of paper and he was a hungry dog. He pulled it off me and threw it to the floor and he tore off his boxers. Then he just wanted to get to it. I wasn't even in the mood yet. I asked him to touch me a lil' more, get me hot for him, you know? So he just reached down between my legs and started rubbin' me with his whole hand like he was waxin' a car. He had the nerve to ask 'are you in the mood now?'" I frowned. "I lied and told him yes, 'cause I just wanted to do it, you know? I thought it would make us closer. Hoo-boy was I wrong."

"So, is that as close as you got?"

"No. It got a lot closer. See, he wasn't doin' a very good job of turnin' me on. Now that I'm thinkin' back on it, I guess he was never really good at it to begin with."

"He'd touched you before?"

"Yes," I admitted. "We'd been doin' stuff for about a year. Come to think of it, he never did make me...uh...you know."

"You never had an orgasm?" he asked. "But what about last night?" I blushed again, but no one could tell because it was so dark in the room.

"I didn't say that I'd never had one, just that he'd never given me one. I tried to show him what I liked, but he just couldn't get it, I suppose. His hands just weren't good enough."

"What about his mouth?"

"What about it?"

"Did he ever use his mouth on you?"

"No," I sighed. "I was always too embarrassed to ask him to. I thought that if I did it to him, he'd reciprocate. You know, like lead by example. Guess it didn't work. But I got used to it, so it came as no real surprise that night when we were gettin' ready to have sex. After I told him I was 'in the mood' he asked me to do the same to him, so I did. Then he pulled out the condom-"

"Wait, what did you do to him?" Brayden asked.

"Well, I, uh...you know. Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"W-well," I stammered, trying to find my voice, "first I had him lay down on his back. He was already naked so I crawled on top of him and kissed his neck. I ran my hands over his chest and down his sides. He just lay there as I moved my lips down. Over his collarbone, to his chest, kissing, licking, nibbling his flesh." I began to get more into my story, recalling every detail vividly. I shut my eyes and continued telling it, speaking more confidently as I went along. "I remember I took his nipple into my mouth. They were small -- compared to mine, anyway -- but they were hard. I used the tip of my tongue afterwards, and blew cool air on them. He liked that. My hands went to his shoulders, massaging them slowly as I kissed further down." I crossed my arms and massaged my own shoulders gently. "I traced little circles around his bellybutton with my tongue, kissing and nibbling with my lips every now and then. I lay my entire body between his legs, caressing his sides, tracing my fingertips up and down his torso. I blew on the lower part of stomach, the part between his hipbones, trying to tease him and make him feel good. I think it worked 'cause I could feel him getting harder between my breasts." I ran a finger over the fabric of my tank top and down between my breasts. "It wasn't very big -- I could wrap my whole hand around it easy -- but it was a little longer than I expected. I moved down just a little bit further and I grasped him in my hand. It was so hard. I slowly moved my hand up and down, bringing my mouth to the head to lick it. There was pre-cum on the tip. I was used to that though. It was salty. As I pumped my hand along his shaft, I put him in my mouth. I wrapped my lips over the top and sucked on it. I circled my tongue around and around the top, and I started moving my mouth up and down. I kept my thumb and index finger around his cock, following the motions of my mouth up and down. He started moanin' real loud, tightenin' up, wrappin' his fingers in my hair, so I backed off. I knew he was gonna cum. I took my lips off him, and lowered my head, letting my tongue run over his balls, then returning to the head of his cock, kissing it lightly. I thought he was fixin' to die right there. I sat up and ran my hands over his thighs and up to his chest. I asked him if he was ready, and he told me yes. I reached over to my dresser and pulled out a condom. I unrolled it over his hardness. Then I lay on my back and pulled him on top of me. I still wasn't wet enough to be ready, so I asked him again to help me get in the mood." I reached down a little further, placing one hand between my thighs on top of my shorts. I let the other hand linger atop my breast. "I reached down and put my finger between my lips and started to stroke my lips and then my clit, showing him how I liked it. Instead he said it looked like I already was in the mood, so he just kissed me and climbed between my legs. He put the head of his cock against me and pushed in." I breathed out and opened my eyes. "It hurt...a lot. After the third time he pushed in, I made him stop. It wasn't right. It just didn't feel right, you know? He got mad, which made me mad, so we just both got dressed. I went and slept next door at my friend Julie's room. Paul left the next day, we broke up on the phone and I haven't talked to him since."

"I'm sorry," Brayden managed to say quietly.

"I'm not," I told him. "Any guy who was gonna act that way to his girlfriend doesn't deserve to have one."

"I'm not sorry you lost him," he said stroking my cheek. "I'm sorry he did that to you. You're too good for that, Piper. I'd never do that to you." Continuing on a streak of boldness, I let my thoughts flow freely to my lips.

"What would you do to me, Brayden?" I asked softly.

"Piper, I don't think that I --"

"You don't have to do anything, Brayden," I uttered. "I'm sorry, I keep saying these stupid things. Forget I said anything." I sat up and pulled the sheets to my chest, feeling the awful pangs of rejection welling up within me.

"No Piper," he said, cupping my face within his hands, touching his forehead on mine, "I was going to say that I don't think I can stop once I start. I just wanted to give you fair warnin' beforehand." I smiled and touched my lips to his.

"I think I'm okay with that," I whispered against his mouth. He laughed and lay me back on my bed.

"First, I'd kiss those pretty lips of yours, real soft like," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss. He stroked my hair as his lips moved against mine. The tip of his tongue pleaded for entry into my mouth. It was soft, pliant, his mouth warm. His fingers were like magic on my skin, his lips like a beautiful fire. "Then I'd kiss your neck and nibble on your earlobes," he said softly, breaking the kiss. Brayden lowered his head to the spot just behind my ear, nipping at it with his lips, kissing and licking it gently. My toes curled as he did this, a spark igniting in my belly. He let his tongue trace a line from my ear to the hollow of my throat. He kissed a path across my collarbone and back up to the other ear. Brayden suckled on the tip of my earlobe, caressing my arms as he did so. He made his way across my jaw line and back up to my mouth.