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Click here"Great!" my mother enthused, "How about if you take Amie around town?" she asked him.
"Mo – um, Sarah, how about Edmund?" I asked her. Rob arched his left eyebrow at me.
"Edmund will be fine," she said nonchalantly, "He's at the hotel, remember? I left him a note at the front door saying to meet us at the café."
"I don't mind taking you around, Amelee," Robert said to me warmly and flashed me this charming heart-stopping smile and at that moment, I forgot who I was and how limited the time I had in the mortal dimension. He held his hand out to me in a warm friendly gesture and I couldn't help but to accept his hand.
He grasped my right hand and a sudden surge of tingling feeling crept over me. I shuddered and bit my lips as I took my hand back from his. He smiled at me as my mother pecked my forehead and then left us alone to deal with her broken coffee machine. Great, Mom, I thought dryly, way to show people how motherly you are with me.
I flashed him a fake smile but I bet he knew I was faking it anyway since he stood up and said, "I don't want your boyfriend to get all angry with you so it's OK, I was planning to go home after work."
Aw, now I felt guilty. "No," I said to him, "Edmund isn't my boyfriend." I noticed how he sparkled when he heard me said that Edmund wasn't my significant other. "Do you still want to give me a tour?" OK, I knew that I was taking risks here but Robert seemed like a very good guy and I couldn't help but to feel excited with the idea of spending more time with this interesting warm human.
That was strange.
***
"You're in luck, Amelee," he said to me as he gave me a corndog. The hawker thanked us and wished us a very happy time at the carnival.
"Luck? Why?" I asked him as I took a bite from my first corndog. I squealed, "Ooh, it's so delicious! What is this thing?" We walked past more stalls.
He looked at me strangely, "You've never eaten a corndog before?"
"Dog?" ugh, I felt disgusted. I felt like gagging. "YOU ATE DOGS??"
"N-nooo!" he shook his head off, "It's just a name! You know, just like hotdogs!"
I was immensely horrified, "DOGS!! UGH!!"
He stopped me, laughing, "Seriously Amie, where have you come from? Another dimension or something?" My eyes went wide at him. I bit my lips. He looked apologetic, he must have assumed that I felt hurt by his words, "Look, I'm sorry Amelee but honestly I've never seen a girl overreacted over sausages!"
"So, um, what do you mean by 'luck'?" I asked him, changing the subject quickly.
"The carnival is held only twice per year here in this town," he answered and then he paused as his hand traced the lines of my face, "I may be as bold to say this but I really liked you, Amelee," My eyes closed automatically as his fingers caressed the lines of my face, a sigh escaped from my mouth and I could sense that he was smiling. "Amelee?" he asked me, as if he was seeking permission.
I opened my eyes and realized that both of his hands were caressing my face. I swallowed, feeling myself blushing red. "Rob?" I looked at him, right into those soulful green eyes of his. He didn't say anything as his lips descended down on mine and just as our lips met, all thoughts of who I was were gone.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 13 years agou make her sound like shes 9 w a crush on a boy: but mom boys have cooties ewwwww we r just frends ewww
slimkittenabout 15 years agoI like the premise of the story, it's introduced well in the first chapter. I'll point out a few things, please note that I wouldn't be reading the rest of the chapters if I didn't enjoy this story, so don't take to heart the fact that my criticisms are longer than my compliments.
I see you've corrected the age stuff in other comments... but actually, you forgot one. You mention in the first chapter that Edmund was 11 when Amie arrived with her father at age 2. That means that he's 9 years older than she, not 11, so he would currently be 27.
There are a few other things that bug me... I think the first chapter should have more about Sarah, about how the father was always talking about her and wouldn't let Amie forget how much she meant to both her parents. Otherwise, when Amie arrives at Sarah's house and starts talking to her, the camaraderie they share seems a bit fake. It's too fast for someone she hasn't seen or talked much about for 16 years.
Minor grammatical mistakes don't bother me so much. I read through a few errors that I think can easily be made by someone who doesn't speak English on a regular basis and may not know the expressions, but I think you could probably google some of these things to see if you're using them correctly or have them written out correctly.
Overall, a great story, moving on to the next two chapters!
spearman1about 15 years agoJust when I had high hopes for Edmund you send in this shmoe!! Edmund should tear this guys arms off for touching her. Then he should take those same arms and slap him with them! Yeah! That's what he should do alright and go straight dimensional on his sorry tail!! Whoa! I have had way to much caffeine for today. Just let Edmund be mad that should suffice.
Jayleen88about 15 years agoAuthorTo: Anonymous - OK, I admit my sentence structure for that part is confusing. I'm very sorry about that. I tend to forget sometimes. Amelee was 2 when she left with her father to Ersta. From the age of 2 till 12, the father kept in contact with the mother. from 12 to 18 (6 years - no contact) OMG!!!! You know what? I just realized my mistake, I had mistakenly typed 16 I suppose. My mind said 6 but my fingers typed 16. Gosh. Sorry about that guys! No wonder you all are confused!! I think I made the same typo in on of her mother's conversation in next chapters..oppsie..I'll make a correction for it when it's approved! (I can't do anything as I've submitted it already - sorry) Haha!!
