Woman Seen By A Blindman

As a warning this is long, and for some boring, I do thank those who read further into it. I urge women especially to read into it. I would like your feedback.

Here's a bit of history about me. I was born into a middle class, white family. My father was a labourer, and until the time of their divorce my mother was a homemaker. Since then my father has stayed a labourer and my mother has gone on into the field of Project Management. Growing up, money was tight, and I began to believe not in, a penny saved is a penny earned, but in a penny earned is a good days work.

I am currently 6'3, 240lbs, and in decent shape. Growing up I was always overweight, and was overlooked by all the "cool" people. I began to have notions of romance. Candlelight dinners, moonlight serenades, stargazing, and the whole nine yards. Then something clicked in my mind, and I thought I had all the answers. The SECRET to women. It is commonly believed that a woman is attracted to the "alpha male" in any pack, and in certain respects I believe that it is true. It is millions of years of animal life bred into us, and its not something that goes away. Another factor is phermones but that's too long to get into.

Anyways, more to the point, I became an asshole, Grade A, pain in the ass. I tore strips outta people left, right, and center. I was happy doing so, because I was then able to get girls. All the girls I wanted would flock to me. Though when it came to the sexual aspect I remained an asshole. I'd make them do all the work, and just sit back and enjoy it. That caused me to lose most of the women that I had.

A few years ago, about 3, an ex-girlfriend made me a bet. The bet was for $1000, that I couldn't sleep with 1000 different women, before I died. Being the cocky teenager, my answer was, "You're on." Since then I have slept with 178 different women, not including girlfriends. I didn't care that I was an asshole, just that I was getting laid. Which is the major pressure on guys and sex is, who can get the most in the shortest amount of time.

Today, as I was looking at the past few years of my life, it struck me, "What had I become?" The answer was simple. I became the guy that I hated growing up. The guy that was after sex, and who cared about anyone else, and that the joy I was feeling was not happiness as to who I was, but happiness that I was finally being noticed. I was being recognized as a possibile candidate for a mate.

I remember, watching, as I grew up, and began to change from an asshole 24/7, even while having sex, to an asshole, but when having sex, make it about the woman too. I started to get more involved, and thought it wasn't "perfect" there was a noticeble change. The women seemed to stay around longer. It was around that time that I began to become dissatisfied with my life. I thought there was more out there for me, and I was gonna stake my claim.

I remember, about a year and a half ago, even that outlook changed. I got hurt. I was in a relationship I thought would last forever, and when I started to open myself up to her, things were going immaculately. As I opened myself completely, I was brought back down to, what I thought was, reality. It felt like I was stabbed in the back and had my heart torn out, and I closed up. I decided then, that I was never going to be hurt again.

I told my friends, "I will never get married, and I'm never having kids." That philosophy quickly turned to, "I'm just gonna have fun. Why get the bad parts of a relationship, when I can get all the good?" I caused alot of damage with that philosophy. I got into the habit of bringing girls up so high, they felt like I was the only one for them, and then I'd bring them crashing down and leave.

Around the same time, I started forgetting who I was, who my dad raised me to be. There are ethics an morals that were forgotten along the way. I was blind to everything but one thing. Sex. Some say sex is evil, it is the work of the devil. I think sex is a tool for: a) entertainment, and/or b) procreation. I feel that like any tool, it can not be good, or evil, those are only the traits of the person wielding it.

Alas, I skip ahead to my current opinions. Up until today, I continued with the philosophy of just having fun, and screw the commitment. It worked very well for me once I was able to control my destructive habits. I was able to become more of myself, and less of the guy I hated. Almost a year ago I regained part of myself that has been lost for almost 9 years, and I relearned the art of Romance. Being a gentlemen, sweet, caring, the whole Prince Charming motif.

I was still unsatisfied. I am a creature of knowledge, and I yern to know everything. The topic I am on now is Women. I realized that this was the driving force for all my behaviour, and still fronting my philosophy of fun, I watched, and listened. I have many female friends, and until now I never knew why. I am, in affect, using them. I am using them to gain knowledge through there eyes. I feel more complete know then I ever have.

Without going through all the boring bits of my many thoughts, dillusions, confusion, and insanity involved in trying to understand the other gender, I can safely say that I firmly believe that I have begun to, slightly, understand women. I say believe, because there is no set standard to women, like there is for guys. Guys are open books, and I dare anyone of you to contradict me. Women are closed books, 10,000 ft below the surface in the Earth, locked in an indestructable safe, with a million locks surrounding it. I think that I've gone through a few locks.

I believe that women are the driving force behind any man. We are driven, sexually, physically, and mentally by women. The pressure, I mentioned before, of sleeping with the most number of women, in the shortest amount of time. It is all about women. Physically, we try to be the strongest, and in the best shape, for competitions, but not with other guys, but for women to think of us as the "alpha male". Mentally, we strive forward in all fields to make life easier, and I can guaruntee you a woman pushed man towards our technology because there is no way a man thought of it.

I try to see women for there beauty. Not the outer beauty, or the classic sense of inner beauty, like personality, intelligence and all that jazz. I try to see them for who they are, by listening, and watching. Hearing about there hopes, and dreams. In a religious sense I see women as God's creation once he realized what he did when he created man.

I think of women as Crystal Angels. The grace in there movements, the poise in which they carry themselves. How even there clothes flow from them, as if the clothes are scared if they push to hard they will break them. I'm not saying that women are fragile, just that they are the gender that is priceless, and pristine, something that can not be tarnished.

They light up men's lives, no matter how dark the skies get, or no matter how dark their heart gets. The most beautiful thing any man can see is the glint in a woman's eye, and the dulcet laugh in her voice. The way her hair falls around her, like the fall leaves, yet healthy like spring.

When dealing with a woman sexually, I find there is one common no matter what their fetishes, or kinks may be. Touch. When you touch a woman, do so very lightly, as if your touch is a whisper of a breeze, decending down her body. Following her lines, and curves with your finger tips, so soft you can't feel it, but you know they are still touching. Giving your entirety into your touch, as you move about the woman's body, will heighten both of your pleasures beyond your dreams.

I have recently changed. I have come to understand something more about women. They have a sixth sense. They know when a man is sincere, and when he is not. They may not conciously, but they know it in their bones. When dealing with a woman, or many women, give them your heart, and soul, and you shall not be disappointed.

I have learned that when you give a woman those two things, she will give herself to you, and though it may not be forever, it may be as just friends, but I guaruntee you, you will have a friend, forever. I saw an interesting piece where they say there is only three questions in life that are important.

What is the soul made of?

What is worth living for?

and What is worth dying for?

The answer is love, and from what I can see, that is what a Woman is. Women are love.

-The End.

Please, send your comments in. I am looking forward to reading them, good ones and bad.