Wrote Finis to Her Marriage

I had liked the way Mike had come on to me by the pool. It would be fun to flirt with him, even let him hold me tight while dancing.

"Anita, don't you think that you are overdoing it with this dress?" Andy asked.

"No. I like myself this way and you should be proud of having a sexy wife to parade around."

But deep inside, I was a little pissed at his criticizing the way I dressed. I can't explain why. He was right. I was overdoing it. I wanted to let Mike know that he could have me, not tonight, but during our stay here. Tonight was for Andy even if I was a little pissed at him.

We had a couple turns on the dance floor and a few drinks. I had more than Andy. I was in a good mood and wanted to enjoy the weekend. Andy tried to tell me to go easy on the drinks. I brushed him off.

Mike came to our table and asked for a dance. I immediately accepted and let him hold me tight and even rub my ass and back. I rubbed my tits on his stomach and my belly on his crotch. I was getting horny. Andy was going to have quite a night later. As we headed back to our table, he said, "You should not deprive my friend Ralf from the pleasure of dancing with you."

I headed back to dance with his friend. He was even more enterprising than Mike. He tried to push his knee between my legs. I gave in a little room, but not much. As we came back they invited me to sit and have a drink with them.

"I will go and tell my friend and be back." Again, I referred to my husband as my friend. This was no slip. I was letting Mike know that Andy was not that important. What possessed me to refer to Andy as my friend, to this day, I can't figure out. Except to let them know that I was available as I wanted and was later pointed out to me.

"Andy, they invited me for a drink. I will go for just one."

"You should not go, Anita. You are pushing things too far this time."

This got me upset. I like to think that it was the drinks. I now know that it was not. But I made a stupid decision to show him I was my own woman. I did not need my life run by him. I was in control and could handle the situation. I was not going to fuck them tonight, just maybe set it up for later.

Tonight belonged to Andy I had to save my marriage first of all. We were here for four days. There would be an opportunity to make out with Mike and his friend before we left. If it was planned right, Andy would never know. The drinks were beginning to cloud my judgment, but not completely. I knew that this was very wrong.

I went back to have a drink at their table they had their hands on my lap every chance they got. I finally got up and went back to join Andy. He did not seem happy. After I sobered up, I realized that he was more hurt than mad.

"Anita, you have to stop this now. We have to leave"

It sounded like an order and pissed me off more. He had to learn that I was an adult not a little girl he could order around.

"I will have a few more dances and then we can leave."

I went back to dancing with them and had one more drink at their table.

"My friend wants us to leave, but I am having fun and want to dance some more."

"You know, Anita, it would really be fun to give him a lesson and come to our room for a drink before calling it a night."

Even in my half drunken state, I knew this was a very bad idea. I was aroused stupidly decided I would have one drink with them in their room and then go and give Andy a night of fucking he would never forget. I went back to our table.

"Andy, they invited me for a drink in their room to end the evening."

"You are not seriously considering going, on top of everything else tonight. I don't want you to go."

This somehow pissed me more. I was not a kid to be told what I could or could not do.

"Not only I am considering it, I am going. I will not tolerate jealousy, Andy."

I knew he was mad at me, but he needed the lesson. The look on Andy's face woke me up enough to decide that fucking Mike was not a good idea. I probably should not go to their room for a drink. I had to get control of myself. I was here to fix my marriage, not end it.

On the other hand I had just put Andy in his place. I promised the guys I would have a drink in their room. I would then go back to Andy. I had decided that this would be the end of it.

To this day, I don't fully understand my actions that night. The Psych I saw for a while after the fiasco, concluded that being an only child, I was a spoiled immature egoistical woman at the time and believed I was asserting my independence, without considering the consequences. The worst shock and painful thing he made me realise was that I had made my decision in the afternoon to fuck Mike when he came on to me and did not care if I had to take on his partner, too. As a matter of fact, I hoped this would be so, even if at the time I found all sorts of rationalization to avoid facing this.

He had no explanation for my referring to my husband as my friend, except, I wanted to have a night of sex with two guys and let them know that I was available. In my half drunken state and being pissed at Andy, my judgment was out the window. It seemed like a small thing to me. After all, it would be just a drink, and then I would go back to our room.

With that, I went and told the guys I was going with them. As we left I looked at Andy and again saw a great pain in his eyes, but my drunken state prevented me from noticing it. I wondered why he was so upset with me going for just a drink. My drunken fussy mind convinced me that after a drink I would go back to our room fuck Andy's brains out and all would be okay.

It was only later, remembering the details of the evening, I realized the pain and disgust in his eyes. I had a moment of almost sanity and wished he would get up and stop me before we reached the elevator, but this only lasted a few seconds. I would have probably refused to go with him, if he had tried to stop me.

As we got to their room, I had another moment of sanity and was about to turn around and go back to Andy, but Mike took me in his arms and kissed me hard. In the state I was in, I responded as he led me into the room. Ralf got my dress open and my tits out of my bra to suck my nipples while Mike was kissing me. I was so hot that I helped them undress me and get undressed themselves.

As soon as I was naked, I was pushed on the bed and Mike got between my legs. I had a fleeting thought for Andy and knew this was very wrong. I should push him off me and leave. But, I saw his big cock. I lost all control. I spread my legs to give him access. He was big and I needed a cock in me. Ralf got on his knees next to my head and I wasted no time in opening my mouth to take him. Mike fucked me hard and fast. I had some orgasms.

After he dumped his load in me, he traded places with Ralf. I did not resist. I needed more fucking. I licked and sucked Mike clean and then hard again. Ralf dumped another load of cum in me. This time I had a big screaming orgasm.

Mike told me to get on my knees, lubed my ass and took my back hole. I remember some pain. He was not slow and gentle, but it was good. I like my back hole filled. By the time he was done, Ralf was ready to go again and took his place. I was having multiple orgasms. While Ralf was doing my ass, Mike got drinks. As soon as Ralf was done he handed one to me. I was thirsty and drank it down almost in one swallow. For a while both of them kissed me sucked my nipples and thighs and caressed my pussy with their hands. I was getting all aroused again.

I had a little break of sanity and tried to get up and leave, but Ralf pushed his fingers in my cunt I lifted my hips to get his fingers deeper in me. He really loved that. He finger fucked me while I sucked Mike again, this time swallowing his cum. Mike moved and Ralf got between my legs and gave me the hardest fucking I had ever got. I came and screamed like a banshee. It was a really good orgasm.

I don't know how long I was fucked in all my holes, but in the end Mike served another drink, while we rested. They fell asleep exhausted I had a fleeting thought of leaving while they slept, but was too tired. I needed to rest a bit first. I fell asleep.

I woke up with Mike sucking my tits and massaging my pussy. I was hot before being fully awake. Another session of hard fucking followed. I wanted to leave. The effect of the liquor was fading and I was beginning to realize the full impact of what I had done. It was a little late to cry rape and I concluded that the faster I satisfied them the faster I could leave. And, to my shame I was enjoying the sex. It was dirty and slutty, but it was giving me fantastic orgasms.

Finally everyone relaxed and I told Mike I would have to go. He said okay, but we should have another drink before I left. I figured that this would make them happy and I would go. As I was having the drink I could see Mike's big cock getting hard. This aroused me again. Maybe the drink had something to do with it, but I wanted to be fucked again. Mike asked if I would give them a blow job before leaving. I agreed.

Mike prepared another drink, to get everyone in the mood, as he said. I seemed to be in a bad dream. I knew this was very wrong. I should not be here. I should leave. On the other hand, I was so aroused I needed release in the worst way.

I then gave each a blow job while the other finger fucked me. I lost it a bit. They again had all my holes and finished by a D/P. To my shame, I remember enjoying all of it and having a big orgasm. By the time it was over, I was so tired and sore I wondered if I would be able to walk straight. I laid back on the bed to rest and fell asleep again.

When I woke it was full daylight. This time I was sober and reality hit with a vengeance. I jumped out of the bed and got dressed. Ralf woke up and tried to get me back on the bed, He took me by the arm and pulled me to the bed. I grabbed the lamp on the night table and hit him over the head and ran out of the room.

All the way to my room, I was crying. What had I done to Andy? Now, I was sober, I remembered the look in his eyes as I left to go with Mike and Ralf. It was not jealousy. It was a look of a man in deep pain, a man destroyed. I had done that to him, the nicest man in the world I had hurt him badly probably destroyed him. How would I get him to forgive me?

I would throw myself on my knees at his feet begging for forgiveness as soon as I walked in the room. I walked in the room slowly, with hesitation. It was empty. Andy was not there. I looked at my watch, it was after nine A.M. The bed was made-up. Maybe he was down for breakfast and the maid had made the bed. Then, I noticed that the dress I had left on the bed last night was still there untouched. I realised that he had not slept here. On top of the dress I noticed a piece of folded paper. It was a note. I opened it with hesitation. I dreaded what it would be.

The note:

I hoped you would change your mind, but you did not. I am going home. I don't care what you do or where you go. I left you the car, I took a rental.

That was all not even a signature. I sat on the bed and cried for a long time until there were no more tears left. My stomach was empty from my frequent trips to the bathroom to be sick. His phone was off. I could not reach him.

By being a stupid slut I had hurt a good man who did not deserve to be hurt and probably lost him.

"That was the big shock I told you about, Shane. It hit me like a freight train going full speed."

I finally managed to stop crying and emptying my stomach. I showered and made myself presentable enough to go inquire at the desk as to when Andy left. It was a little after nine, last evening. I could stay until Sunday after supper. The room was paid until then. He had waited for over an hour to see if I would come back.

I packed and left. Mike saw me and apologized for Ralf and asked if I would stay. Ralf was leaving and he would be alone, the following night. I declined and walked out to my car. I still did not fully realize that I had lost Andy for good. My mind refused to accept that. But I fully realised remembering the look on his face and the tears in his eyes, that I had hurt him badly. I had not noticed that at all last night as I left to go to Mike's room.

It took me over three hours for the normal two hours drive home. Every so often I started to cry again. A lot more for the pain I had caused Andy than for my lost. I still refused to accept the fact that I had lost him. I had to stop to let my eyes dry enough to see the road. I finally got home, as I walked in. Andy was coming down the stairs with two suitcases. I ran to him saying,

"I am so sorry," to throw myself in his arms. He pushed me back firmly.

"Anita, I don't want to touch you, look at you or be around you."

"Please, I am so sorry, Andy. Listen to me. It was a horrible mistake on my part."

"This was no mistake, Anita. You had been flirting with one of them all afternoon by the pool and you chose a dress to send the message that you were available, over my objections. They did not drag you by the hair to their room."

"Please, I did not plan for things to go that far. I am sorry. I beg you not to leave me now and forgive me for hurting you so bad. You are not to blame. It is entirely my fault. I am sure we can find a way to get over this."

"Don't give me b/s, Anita. You did not try to reach me until close to ten o'clock this morning. You were with them all night. It was not a little mistake. This was a slut and a whore enjoying herself being double ganged. And, to do that in front of me? I wonder how many times when I was not around you did something like that or worse."

I was not yet ready to admit to everything. I still believed that if I could convince him that this was the first and only time. I still had a chance of saving my marriage.

"That hurts, Andy. I am not a slut or a whore. I had never cheated on you before last night. It was a mistake. I lost control of the situation. I know that you warned me before that my flirting would get me in trouble. I swear that those days are over."

"Why did you not stop me, Andy?"

"Because I realised that if you were brazen enough to do what you did with me present, you were used to doing a lot worse when I was not around."

"Please Andy I swear it was the first time I did anything like that. I have never cheated on you before. I admit that I like to flirt and sometimes let it go quite far, but I never cheated on you before last night."

"Then, I return the question to you. You are my wife. Why did you not refuse to have a drink at their table and follow them to their room? You could have stopped it too."

Except for crying louder, I had no answer to that.

"And, can you explain why you dressed the way you did over my objections, unless it was to let them know that you were available. And then, decided that you would go and fuck them and told me to my face that you would not put up with jealousy and would go with them anyway. After hearing that, there was no more reason for my stopping you. You made very clear what your intentions were, and your mind made up."

Again, I had no answer. This hit me like a punch in the stomach. He was right. I had decided in the afternoon that I would fuck Mike during this week-end and his friend too if the opportunity arose. I just had not really planned to do it that night. My intention was to let him know I was available and set-up a time and place to get together with him and his friend. This had really been hurting me. Why I had done that? I had tried to rationalize it. There was no reasonable explanation, except that I had in fact planned to cheat. I was a slut that did not deserve a good husband like Andy. I had not realised that up to now.

"I need to be away from you now, Anita. A piece of advice, get yourself tested. I will. I don't believe it was your first time and I am sure they did you bareback."

"There is no reason for you to get tested Andy I swear I never cheated on you before last night."

He picked up his suitcases and left me crying on the sofa, totally destroyed. I could not reach him. He changed his cell number and took vacation time from work. I heard from him two weeks later when I was served with a petition for divorce. It nearly killed me. I still could not talk to him. All communications were through the lawyers. The divorce went smoothly. He was fair and I had no fight left in me. I was a walking zombie.

My mom took me in. She was not sympathetic to my cause, but I am her only child. What she had to say about my character and intelligence were not compliments.

I did get tested and I had an infection, due to, according to the doctor someone going from my rectum to my vagina without protection or cleaning up. Luckily it was easily treated with antibiotics.

A friend of my mother said that they probably put something in my drink. I don't believe that. There was no need. I was willing and available and had made it clear to them by the way I dressed and acted. There is not an excuse that justifies my actions, considering the facts. I had been cheating before that starting with my first visit to Aunt Julie. It does not explain my flirting by the pool or my dressing the way I did, or the fact that I was not indifferent to Mike's charms. I wanted to see him and dance with him and fuck him during the week-end. Or my telling them that Andy was just a friend. I thought at the time, I said it so they would keep asking me to dance. Maybe, but it sure sent a different message. I was not so sure now. I think it was to send the message I was available, as I later realised and admitted to myself

Until I sat with them, the only drinks I had were with Andy. I saw the waitress prepare and bring the first drink I had at their table. I drank it there. No one touched it, I am sure. I was not there when the second one was ordered. I had probably three drinks in their room, between fucking sessions. These drinks could have been spiked and explain why I did not sober up until the morning.

But, using that as an excuse is too easy. And, I don't believe it. We all drank straight from the bottle in turn at some point during the night. I stayed because I enjoyed the sex with two men. Spiked drinks would not explain my getting in the situation I ended up in. I had planned this from the afternoon when I flirted with Mike. I only realised all this after six months of analysis with my Psych.

I did all this willingly and planned most of it. I am the only one responsible. It was not easy to come to that conclusion and accept it.

I next saw Andy two years later, at a mutual friend's wedding. To my surprise, he was civil to me and even sat with me. He was alone too. I was still living with my mother. I had no date and was not dancing I could not go near a dance floor without remembering that night when my life ended.

"Andy, will you ever forgive me."

"I forgave you a long time ago, Anita. A man cannot live with hate without destroying himself."

"Is there ever a chance of us getting back together?"

"Anita, I would never know what you are doing behind my back, given what you proved you could do in front of me that particular Friday. I still believe that you had done a lot worse when I was not around to see it. To forgive does not mean to forget, Anita."

It was too late for lies and anyway I had no hope of getting him back judging by his answer.

"To clear my conscience Andy you are right, it was not the only time."

I could say no more I ran out of the place. I went home and cried for a week

A few months later, I ran into his cousin Mark. They are closer that brothers. I was coming out of the hairdresser.

"How are you Anita?

"Not very good. I am still not over loosing Andy and my stupidity."