Xavier Drifts

"That's right son," said the wiry lined-faced guy of sixty-plus who looked like a rancher or ex-rancher to Xavier. "You can call me Chuck."

"Chuck my name is Xavier Hall."

"Now what kind of name is that?"

"The name Hall is quite common throughout most of America."

Chuck laughed and he said he already liked young Mr Hall.

"Try saying Xavier."

"Xavier."

"Spot on. You're a quick learner Chuck."

"I bet you $10 you don't know where you're going."

"I'm sorry Chuck but I can't accept that wager."

Chuck apologized and said he meant no offence to a religious man.

"No Chuck, it's not that. I have no idea where I should be going."

"In that case should you have left home or your last place of sanctuary?"

Xavier said vaguely it was easy to be wise after the event and Chuck appeared to accept that.

"If you're short of money I could give you some."

"That is a generous offer but I have money."

"Then what?"

"I have no idea."

"Then settle down young man. That's enough interrogation. I live with my unmarried daughter just outside Omaha, Nebraska, a little over four hours away. What do you think of the old girl?"

"You mean the GMC?"

"Yes son, my wife died almost four years ago.

* * *

Early afternoon they came to the few acres just outside a small town.

Chuck said, "I couldn't live in the town so bought a few acres. I've just been visiting my son who purchased my former ranch and we cut firewood for me and Liz for the winter. Although winter is five months away before it begins to bite I'll truck another load in before then and we'll not run short of wood to burn. Are you one of these Greenies who denounce anyone who burns solid fuel or petroleum based fuels?"

"Nah and if the wood is dried properly what is there to really complain about? I'll open the gate."

"Yeah and thanks. You have good understanding."

Xavier climbed back into the pickup and said, "It would appear no one is home unless she's asleep."

"No she's done into Omaha to get a price on how much it will cost to have her financial affairs property sorted. The IRS says she owed them a wad of money based on its estimation of her income over the past two years."

"Well no one wants to stand accused by the IRS but they do yield in the face of facts."

"Is that so? Well that's news to me Xavier."

"May I ask why do you choose to live here rather than with your son?"

"We used to have tenants in this house. My mother used to live here after my dad died because her mother and husband built this house on twenty acres for their retirement. Dad and I didn't get along too well so I went off and purchased my own land and had my back almost broken by debt for the first ten years before we struck a run of good prices and not too much adverse weather. They sold the 5000 acres of land that extended out from here and then dad paid off my loan. They died eventually, mom being the last to go, and we put tenants into this house. Liz married and that turned to crap so she came home to the ranch to live after her husband shot himself. My son and she quarreled a lot and I was caught between the two of them and so I terminated the tenancy and brought Liz here to live with me. She writes novels and had two successful ones and then three duds.

"I see. Did you charge her rent?"

"Yes or really a share of total living costs for the first three years but not for the last two because of her first failure with a book."

"Ah I suspect I can see the problem. At no time were receipts issued and she claimed living expenses directly connected with supporting her business of writing. Then one day the IRS said could they please have copies of receipts relating to tax rebate claims for the past five years. She had a paper trail of earnings for that period but no receipts and the IRS said she had falsified her claims."

"Gee either you are very smart or the IRS told you about us?"

"No but I'm aware that other people have been caught by the IRS conducting a personal review and some of those people under investigation had acted innocently but found themselves up a creek without a paddle because they lacked supporting evidence justifying their claims."

"Yeah well that sounds like Liz. I call it caught between a rock and a hard place. Do you wish to help me unload this wood?"

"Of course and I was about to offer. Lead the way and get me started and then you prepare us a sandwich and coffee and I'll finish," Xavier said as Chuck drove around to the back of the small house.

Xavier had come out of the shower and had dried himself and was dressing when he heard a woman shout, "Dad do you know what those motherfuckers want to work on my accounts and to write a submission to the IRS... one hundred and sixty bucks an hour. That's fucking extortion."

He then heard Chuck say quietly, "Liz you might like to modify your language a bit. I picked up a hitchhiker and he's in the bathroom."

"Oh god. Sorry dad."

"It's okay, he's not a Bible-basher from what I can make out. He's a very likeable guy actually, about your age."

Xavier strained and just caught her whisper, "Is he sexy?"

Chuck laughed and said he didn't think she'd be able to keep her eyes off him.

Xavier entered the room and saw the attractive young woman and said, "Who are the motherfuckers?"

She blushed hugely, opened her mouth and the only word was emitted was a squawked "I..."

"Xavier Hall this is my daughter who has reverted to her maiden name of Liz Small."

"Oh hi Liz, pleased to meet you. I'm under the impression Chuck is very proud of you, bad language notwithstanding."

He walked in close and held out his hand.

She shook it and said, "I'm pleased to meet you Xavier. I must have disgusted you with my..."

"Nonsense. God I've dated some women whose language could curl the toes of lesser mortals."

"You are so kind."

"Not so Liz, a kind guy would have come from the bathroom and pretended he'd not heard you blowing off steam. I like your father and I guess I'm going to like you and I don't mind if you use strong language. Do you two realize this is Liz's lucky day?"

"No," said Liz whereas Chuck said, "This better be good otherwise you'll make a fool of yourself."

"If you guys allow me to stay here for a few days as your guest, with meals provided, I'll work with Liz to get her financial affairs sorted. I'm a fully qualified profession accountant with CIA status which means Certified Internal Auditor and CMA which means a Certified Management Accountant. I'm not sure of my status in this State but I'm sure the IRS will recognize my status."

"Is this true?"

"Yes Chuck. I can direct you to a website where my professional qualifications are listed."

"Well I be darned. But Xavier I did tell you Liz lacks receipts."

"Liz your dad mentioned where you were today and why and I questioned him further. First I need to sit down with you and go through everything, starting with your good years of income and then the two years where presumably your income was down hugely but you kept on working, presumably with your manuscripts being rejected and yet your work-related expenses remained the same. I then will have to decided what claims for deduction were legitimate although not receipted and with no other paper trail available, and then go through the payments you made to your father not receipted and he then will make a sworn affidavit to your attorney that the report I compile relating to his involvement in your upkeep is true and correct."

"My father talks too much," Liz scowled but she then said she needed all the help she could get to ensure her legitimate claims stood firm in this audit with the IRS accepting at least some of the submissions.

"Yes and your submissions ought to make a better impression with my help. What I can't understand is why you didn't continue logging your expenses."

"I just got lazy. You want to try working in this environment when dad is away half the time out helping people and see what happens to your motivation in respect of routine matters, although creatively I appear to revel in this environment. If dad says you can stay to help me and the only expense will be to wine and dine you, then yes I'd welcome that."

After dinner Liz made up a bed for Xavier on the living room couch. He'd been hoping she'd invite him to sleep with her because she looked a good target for sex. Perhaps he could sneak in to her bed in the early hours.

But that intention was dashed when her father said quietly to Xavier perhaps he should mention Liz was gay.

Xavier sighed.

However all was not lost.

After a five-hour working session next morning from 7:30, Xavier said that was enough for that day.

"We've made great progress sorting out the mess. I need to go to Omaha to buy you a piece of business software useful for record-making for tax purposes. You have a scanner so can scan receipts and any relevant documents into the document you are working on."

"Well do that while you go somewhere for lunch. My girlfriend's younger sister will be here shortly to drop off Susie and to take you for lunch and to show you around Omaha. Her name is Carol.

Carol was bright and talkative. Her older sister had mouth-watering boobs but it would appear Liz had first option on those and that was such a pity.

During lunch Carol said, "Are you aware Liz won't let you get your hands on her?"

"Yeah, her dad mentioned that to me. What about you, are you interest in getting my hands around you."

"Didn't Liz say that's the reason why I'm on hosting duty with you while they eat and then disappear all afternoon?"

"No."

Carol waited for Xavier to say something but he was thinking about what she'd said.

"Does you silence mean you don't do it?"

The sudden eruption of his big leer gave her the answer and she became excited.

Three days later Xavier hit the road again, inviting Carol to accompany him but she declined, saying she still hoped to hook up with a local guy of substance, monetary substance.

Xavier was aware he was connecting with people, nice people, but he had hoped when hitting the road for adventure it would result in something big. But that had not been the case. Three days later he arrived in Columbus, Ohio, after hitching a ride in a truck hauling tanned deer skins to New York to be processed into jackets and women's handbags.

"I can drop you here or on the edge of Downtown or you can come with me for coffee at my sister's place. I called her at the gas stop a ways back and she's home.

"Coffee sounds good."

As they parked on the street Al said, "Be careful how you speak to her. Eva was divorced last year and is still a bit on edge if anyone talks about marriage or divorce."

Eva was a tall and well-stacked brunette, quite pretty, just on the right side of thirty, Xavier thought.

Older brother Al kissed his sister and they hugged tightly and Al introduced Xavier and Eva greeted him warmly.

Eva chatted to them both and she asked them if they wanted more coffee, Xavier said yes and Al said no.

"I think I'll push on for another couple of hours," Al said. "You have your coffee buddy. Eva will look after you?"

Eva said sure.

That was okay with Xavier because he was warming to Eva and she'd looked at him a couple of times.

The guys shook hands and Xavier went out to the sidewalk and waved Al off. He returned inside and said, "I like your brother. He has a good manner and loves been on the highway, I mean he really loves it."

"Yes he does and he told me you are okay and suggested I invite you to stay but..."

"That would be nice."

"I was going to say you could stay at my ex-mother-in-law's motel. She'd cut the room rate for you."

"What's wrong with me staying here? You look as if you need company. I won't hit on you if that's what you are worried about?"

"Well I guess that would be all right... oh but what about the neighbors?"

"What about them?"

Eva laughed and said well she'd forget about the neighbors.

"What do you do Eva?"

"I work at the motel as receptionist from 6:00 am to 2:00."

Xavier guessed that's where she'd met her ex-husband.

"And what about you, what do you do?"

"I was an auditor out west but was fired for public misconduct as a state official, bringing state administration into disrepute.

"Oh my goodness, were you doing it with a woman in the City Square in daylight?"

Xavier laughed and thought well she wasn't shy.

"No when the Governor's wife was about to cut the ribbon and declare our new building open, I had a brain convulsion or something and I yelled out, "Show us your tits."

"Omigod, to the Governor's wife? It's a wonder you weren't arrested."

"The cops dragged me away and took me to the station where I remained in an interview room until the ceremony concluded. I was given a big lecture by a captain and was told they had been asked not to arrest me because it would only add to the embarrassment of the Governor's wife. He told me to fuck off and suggested I leave the city. Well I did because when I returned to my new office the chief administration officer walked in with my department head and fired me."

"But Xavier, why did you call out like that?"

"I had a rush of blood to the head I guess and I like good-looking breasts. You have two beauties."

"Xavier!"

"What? You should be proud of them."

"It's okay, no one heard you say that to me and I guess I am pleased at the way they look compared with many other women."

Xavier said, "Do you see a lot of bared tits?"

"I mean women I work with and see on the street."

"May I touch them?"

"Yes but gently... oh god, no you can't."

Xavier said, "I'm sorry. I better leave."

For a few seconds Xavier thought Eva would say please stay. She didn't but for a few moments it appeared very promising.

"Very well you may touch. I have to admit I was rather flattered when you admired them. Since the lead up to the divorce..."

"I don't need to know. I must have been hell."

"Yes and it must be almost a year since I was last touched in a sexy way."

"Do you miss having sex?"

"Yes."

He smiled and said it was tough and she said yes.

Eva sat waiting expectedly and finally said, "Don't you wish to touch me now?"

"Oh sure," he said, adding he wasn't sure about how she now felt talking about her marriage. "Pull one out for me and let my suck it."

Eva looked horrified and she shrunk away from him.

"I'm going off to get ready," she said. "You can stay at the motel tonight. My god, your behavior is appalling."

Xavier felt bad being scolded like that and he had to admit he did lose it at times.

"Perhaps I should go," he offered.

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "I'll call a cab for you now"

She did that and then went off to get ready to go to her mother-in-law's motel for dinner... presumably rather relieved she would be going without him.

Xavier slunk out to the front door, put on his backpack and, slung his laptop strap over a shoulder and grabbed his soft carry bag. He shut the door quietly and waited on the sidewalk for the cab.

Xavier felt the need to make a clean break and told the cab driver he wanted to go to the airport.

"The call was logged to take you Downtown."

"That was a mistake. Take me to the airport please."

Xavier looked at the scheduled outgoing flights for the next two yours and only then realized that Columbus was quite a hub for flights. He decided on a flight to Houston, due to leave in seventy minutes and secured a seat on the direct flight.

CHAPTER 2

It was still daylight when Xavier arrived in Houston and was pleased from his window seat to see what the place looked like from the air and indeed what the flight path through Texas looked like, not having been south of Kansas until today.

Later in a bar across from the hotel, having a beer or two before dinner, Xavier ignored the pinched-faced blonde on a barstool just along from him, staring at him with her legs crossed. The upper leg flicking up and down to remind him of the sex act and at one stage he saw her pull her short skirt even higher but Xavier Hall, determined to reform his life and become less objectionable and so ignored the bored huntress.

Chewing over a steak later, Xavier thought to reform he'd have to make big changes rather than minor adjustments. He reasoned the most difficult change would be to look at the faces of women to assess the warmth of their smile instead looking at their tits, er breasts and picture what it would be like to slobber over them.

Oh the pain that would accompany that withdrawal; it could be as bad as giving up smoking or popping pills. Perhaps worse.

He groaned.

"Is your meal okay sir?" asked a frowning waitress with great... um with her smile hidden under the frown but her nose looked cute.

"The steak is perfect thank you. All is well. It's just twelve months tonight since my wife announced she was divorcing me," he lied.

"Oh my poor man. Look I get off in ninety minutes. Perhaps we could..."

Almost groaning in pain, Xavier said, "No thank you miss. I've turned gay."

That worked a peach but Xavier was cross with himself. He'd just lied twice to manipulate a woman. Now a nice guy wouldn't even think of doing that. Well he'd not expected this move to reform his character would be easy.

Xavier decided two things he should work on immediately were to generate an appropriate and meaningful level of humility and to develop a genuine level of interest in other people that could be termed citizenship. Yes he had to cast aside his lone wolf way of living. Did that mean associating only with females who were seriously religious with chests as flat as his and had a Mona Lisa smile and indulged in sex only to become pregnant?

Xavier's brain went hysterically in overdrive and delivered the message that would be undesirable excessive reformation. He smiled, immensely relieved.

Loitering over coffee, Xavier thought the way to go would be to immerse into a small peer group and be influenced by their ways of bonding and delivering mutual respect for one another. The problem he saw with that was did he have any chance of bonding with such a group of goodies or, being what he was, would he end up in the company of a bunch of misfits?

He had no idea.

The couple in the next room banging away and moaning endlessly kept Xavier awake for at least an hour before he drifted off thinking some guys had all the luck. When he returned from breakfast next morning, two thirty-somethings who looked very much like sisters emerged from that room, looking rather worse for wear, and murmured a reply when he offered a bright greeting. He unlocked the door grinning and thinking well at least those two looked weary for the right reason. Where they flat-chested and religious-looking? He had no idea; in his new assessment mode he'd looked at their faces for smiles and signs of intelligence!

Xavier gathered the memory stick containing his CV and photocopies of his professional qualifications. At the recruitment agency, he found Texas was almost as short of accountants as some parts of it were traditionally short of water.

After Xavier registered a consultant eventually emerged to wheel him in. She had a lovely smile and her expression indicated the probability of intelligence. She looked at his benign face and scanned his CV when it loaded on to her computer and must had thought he needed to be switched on because she played with the top of her the neckline of the low-cut dress and that had Xavier looking below her fingers at two rather nice puppies.

"You are the man I want," she cooed.

Xavier looked at the desktop and confirmed it wasn't cluttered so would be good for office sex.

"We have clients screaming for accountants."

Huh? Oh was she meaning she'd wanted men to fill her vacancies, not her vagina?