You Are All I See

No, it was simple; all I had to do was go ask Megan who the guy was and put the matter to rest. I didn't like prying into her life like that but I was prepared to do it anyway given the circumstances.

"Megan," I called softly as I reached her room.

"Hmm? What is it?"

I must have caught her before she fell asleep since she answered almost immediately. She sat up in her bed and stifled a yawn as I stepped closer to her.

"I need to know something and it might seem a little weird," I explained. "Who was the guy you were talking about? The one from a month ago."

She didn't answer right away so I asked again.

"Megan, who was he?"

A hint of desperation was creeping into my voice that I couldn't fully control. Megan continued to stare at me and I realized that I hadn't been imagining things.

"Alex, I don't remember alright," she said finally.

"Yes you do," I replied numbly.

I felt sick at the thought of what I had done. All the times my sister had been there for me, everything she had done for me, and I had....

"I'm sorry Megan, oh god I'm sorry."

I stumbled away from her into the hallway trying to make it back to my room. I had fucked my sister, that was clear to me now. Looking back it seemed so clear, so many things that should have given it away that I hadn't wanted to see.

I collapsed on the floor beside my bed not having the strength to do anything more than curl up in a ball. She didn't deserve what I had done to her, I could never apologize enough.

"Alex," Megan called softly.

She had followed me to my room, I couldn't understand why she would do that knowing how sick I was. Except... except my sister would never hate me even after what I had done. The thought upset me even more and I tried to curl up further and somehow disappear into myself. No, I didn't deserve to ever see her again, I would have to leave; that was all I could do for her now.

"Alex please look at me."

The sound of her voice cracking midway through her plea almost made me look out of pure reflex. My sister was upset and I instinctively wanted to help, but of course I couldn't. Not this time.

"I'm so sorry Megan," I whispered. "So, so sorry."

She knelt beside me and suddenly her hand was on my head, gently stroking my hair.

"It's not your fault little brother, it was me. You didn't even know what you were doing."

"I should have though, I should have realized."

My eyelids were starting to hurt where I was squeezing them shut so tightly and my arms were beginning to tremble.

"Is it really so disgusting to you, Alex? Does the thought of us together bother you that much?"

The hurt in her voice broke my resolve and I opened my eyes finally. The tears running down her cheeks were the first things I noticed and I moved my hand to wipe them off before realizing what I was doing and jerked back.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I mumbled.

"You didn't, you never have. I let you do what you wanted, remember? I knew what was happening and it was my decision."

"But why?"

Megan shifted slightly to lean back against the bed and settled in more comfortably.

"Because you were hurting little brother, and I knew I could make it better. It could be my secret and you would never have to know." She smiled a little sadly at me. "It would have worked too, if I'd really wanted it to be a secret."

"I don't understand," I said in genuine confusion.

She looked away for a moment, long enough that I was getting ready to verbally prod her again.

"I was selfish Alex," she said softly. "I got careless and I know it's because deep down I wanted you to know what I... what we did. I hoped maybe someday you would feel the same about me that I feel about you."

She stood up as I stared at her in shock, unable to fully process what she was telling me.

"I know it was a stupid thing to do, stupid and selfish," she said. "But it's done now and... really I just hope you won't hate me for it."

She flashed me another one of those sad smiles and stepped out the doorway. She paused in the hallway and looked like she was going to say something else but stopped herself and walked away.

****

Things were naturally kind of awkward between Megan and me the next few days. She did her best to make things easy on me, she didn't try to pressure me into talking and generally gave me my space. I could tell she was hurting though, it was obvious every time we passed each other in the hallway or had to pretend like nothing was different as we sat around the dinner table. Obvious to me anyway, our parents didn't seem to notice anything different but that could just be because I was looking for it and they weren't.

I missed her too, as weird as that sounds. We still lived in the same house and saw each other every day yet I still missed her. Sometimes I would feel like going to talk to her and would start heading to her room before remembering that it wasn't that simple anymore. For the first time in a long while there were issues between us that needed resolved before we could just sit down and talk like we used to.

Of course I wasn't even sure we could go back to the way things were, Megan had as much as said that I was more than a brother to her but I didn't know if I could feel the same about her. Sure I loved her but she was still my sister and there were lines we just weren't supposed to cross; except of course that we had already crossed pretty much the biggest line there was.

If only she wasn't my sister, or if society had evolved differently somehow, then we could have done whatever we wanted. That was the real question I had to answer, all else being equal what would I want my relationship with Megan to be? When I thought about it like that it seemed simpler; I wanted her to be happy and if that meant we would be closer than before, closer than we should be, then that was okay.

The first time I decided that I was okay with the idea of having sex with my sister I angrily threw the thought from my head and did my best not to think about it again. Gradually I realized that it wasn't just a sick fantasy, I actually was okay with it. If I'd had more time to think about it before confronting Megan I might not have gotten upset at all.

The problem was that I still had to deal with the real world and that meant that my relationship with my sister could never be that way; too many people could get hurt.

"Hey Alex, you in there?" came Megan's voice through my door, startling me from my daydreaming.

"Uh, yeah," I called back.

"The pizza just got here, I'm just going to leave it in the kitchen whenever you're ready," she told me.

"Okay thanks."

Our parents were gone for the evening so Megan had ordered pizza for us. I sighed as I realized that once again she was thinking of me and not forcing me to so much as be in the same room as her just long enough to grab some food. She was so good to me, always had been, and I was being a horrible brother. So what if people could get hurt? Megan was already hurting, and so was I for that matter.

Reaching a decision I made my way downstairs and put a couple slices of pizza on a plate before heading to the living room. Megan looked up at me in surprise as I sat down on the far end of the couch.

"Hey," I said simply.

"Hey," she said back, giving me a small but real smile; the first one in what seemed like a very long time.

We didn't say anything else for a while but I think my presence was enough for Megan. I stole glances at her every now and then and she definitely seemed happier than she had the past few days.

I got up eventually to take my plate back to the kitchen and when I returned to the living room I took the opportunity to sit down right next to Megan. She immediately leaned against me and I wrapped my arm around her pulling her tight to me.

"I'm sorry about the last few days Megan," I whispered.

She shook her head, "no, I understand."

"That doesn't make it okay. You're always there for me when I need you, but I... I reacted badly and I'm really sorry."

Megan snuggled up closer to me until I could feel her hair tickling my neck. I took that as I sign of her accepting my apology even if she didn't think I needed to.

"It doesn't have to be different you know," she said. "I mean, I can't do anything about what already happened but we don't have to ever do that again, not if you don't want to. I'm just glad that you don't hate me for it."

"Honestly Megan I don't know what to think about it. All I really decided was that I want you to be happy, you deserve it."

She gave me a cryptic look for a second then slowly brought her face closer to mine. She kissed me gently, then pulled away to gauge my reaction. Before she could say anything I leaned forward and kissed her more firmly, pulling her onto my lap in the process.

"That didn't take long," Megan said when we broke off again.

"Can't help it, you feel too good."

The feeling of holding my sister so close, her face mere inches from mine, cut through the all the problems I still had not resolved. I wanted to be with her, and if that meant an unconventional relationship then at least we could deal with the consequences together.

I let Megan push me onto my back across the seat of the couch as she manoeuvred herself to straddle my waist. Her hands ran over my chest and then moved downward to slide under my shirt. I pulled her head closer for another kiss and let her hair fall down around us, trapping us in our own little world.

It was only when I felt her try to pull my shirt over my head that I finally grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"Shouldn't do it here," I said.

Our parents weren't supposed to be back for a while but there was no point taking stupid risks. I saw Megan frown as she had the same thought that I did, then she shrugged and stood up.

"Alright, come on."

She gave me a hand off the couch then practically dragged me up the stairs to her room where she pushed me playfully onto her bed. Before I could say anything she had pulled off her top and dropped it to the floor. She then resumed her attempt to remove my shirt as I stared at her bra-covered breasts.

"You can touch them if you want," she said, finally tugging my shirt over my head.

I let my hands roam over my sister's breasts, paying particular attention to the edges that weren't fully covered by her bra and revelling in the feeling of her bare skin. I fumbled with the clasp briefly but actually managed to unhook her bra fairly quickly and let it fall away from her chest.

"You like them?" she asked.

I nodded dumbly and stared at her perfect breasts with their tiny pink nipples poking out at me. Megan let me stare for a minute, then turned sideways to give me a different angle as well as allow her to work on removing my pants. Feeling her fingers around my crotch sent shivers up my spine even before she began tugging my pants down my legs.

Finally I lay naked on my sister's bed, my fully hard cock pointed up at the ceiling with her eyes fixed unashamedly upon it. Her hand reached out but she quickly caught herself.

"Can I?" she whispered.

"I don't think I could say no at this point."

She stroked my cock a few times, letting her fingers run delicately up and down before inexplicably starting to giggle.

"What?" I demanded.

"Nothing. Just, my brother's dick in my hand you know? We're being kinda bad."

"Yeah," I conceded. "That is kinda bad."

"We could be worse though," Megan purred.

She stood up and began swaying back and forth rhythmically as she unbuttoned her pants and slid them down to the floor. I sucked in a long breath as my sister stood before me in nothing but a pair of panties, slowly twirling to let me see her from every angle. It suddenly dawned on me that it was really going to happen, we were going to have sex again.

"Megan, I don't have any condoms with me...."

She stopped moving and gave me a wide smile.

"I'm on the pill now, ever since that night. Well, a few days after anyway." Her smile turned seductive, almost predatory, as she continued. "That means you can have me anytime you want little brother. Don't have to worry about that."

With no further teasing she shed her panties and climbed back on the bed, once again straddling my waist. Her pussy was mere centimetres from my waiting erection and I had to force myself to lie still and not pull her down on top of me.

"You ready Alex? Ready for you big sister?"

I didn't trust myself to speak and instead just nodded affirmatively. Megan lowered herself painfully slowly and I groaned in pleasure as her warm pussy gradually engulfed my cock. I had been inside her once already but actually knowing it was my sister this time made the experience so much more intense.

Finally she bottomed out on me and was still for a moment, practically sitting on my lap. Then she began rocking back and forth on me, letting my cock slip a few inches out before sliding back in. The position was a new experience for me but certainly not an unpleasant one.

Her breasts were awkward to reach from my position so I settled for running my hands freely over her naked legs and ass. Megan cooed happily when I let my exploring hand brush her clit so I left it there and did my best to rub it smoothly even though her movements made that difficult.

"M'gonna cum soon," I warned her.

I could feel my orgasm approaching though it hadn't quite reached the urgent stage yet.

"Okay baby, but just give me a minute first," she panted. "You can do that for your big sister can't you?"

I didn't know for sure that I could hold out that long but I was going to do my best. Feeling a burst of inspiration I thumbed my sister's clit roughly as she rode me harder and almost instantly her mouth opened in an expression of pleasure.

"Oh my god, oh fuck," she nearly yelled, making me glad our parents were still out.

The arrival of my sister's orgasm preceded my own by mere seconds, though the full impact of the fortunate timing was lost on me at the time. Megan continued riding me until both our orgasms subsided then slid off me onto to the bed.

"Wow," I said, unable to come up with anything more eloquent than that.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"So what now?" I asked after a moment.

"Well, we still have about an hour and a half until mom and dad get back," Megan said thoughtfully. "So until then I guess we could do... anything we want."

Anything we want, I liked the sound of that.