You Can't Spell MILF without M-I-L Ch. 04

A note to readers: I know the last chapter (3) said "Part 1" in the description and I intended to write a Part II. The story moved in another direction, seemingly on its own.

2nd note: I try to proofread and edit my stories before I post them. I still miss errors (misspellings, punctuation, incorrect words) from time to time, but I did a particularly poor job on this one. I have re-edited and hopefully it is an improvement.

*****

I stepped out of the car and grabbed my bag from the back seat. She walked around the car and joined me on the sidewalk.

"This has been an amazing time with you. I'm very sad to see it end."

I could see some tears in her eyes but she was maintaining a game face for my benefit. She reached up and tugged on my shirt without looking at me.

"Send me a text when you land, and tell Stephanie a call would be nice. Thank you for everything. It was wonderful spending this week with you."

"Thank you. It's all due to you that I was even here. I could not have had a better time."

I bent down to kiss her and she offered me her cheek just as she had done so many times before this week. I gave her a peck but couldn't resist trailing my hand tenderly across her cheek and chin. I turned and grabbed the handle of my suitcase.

"Tom!"

I hadn't taken two steps when I heard her plaintively call my name. As I turned to her she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was a full, deep, passionate kiss. The kind you never want to end.

Janet broke away from me and this time she looked at me. There were tears running down both cheeks.

"We'll see each other, you know," I teased, trying to keep it light.

"I know, but what kind of woman would I be if I allowed my 'husband for a week' to set off on a journey without a proper good bye?"

She forced a smile again as the tears fell silently down her face.

"See you soon," I managed to say as I turned before my own eyes filled.

Before the plane had finished its roll down the runway I had my cell phone out and texted Janet

In response I received a kissy face emoji.

I felt tired, very tired as I waited for my bag at the luggage carousel. I wasn't feeling like a guy returning from an awesome week's vacation. Stephanie had offered to pick me up but knowing the airport would be jammed I told her I'd just take an Uber home.

Slipping my key into the lock of the front door I walked in and called, "I'm home." Steph came bounding out of the den and gave me a kiss.

"Welcome home, and how was your week?" she asked with a suggestion in her voice and a glint in her eye.

"Good, very good."

"Oh, so you won't kiss and tell, either, eh?" she teased.

"Huh?" I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well after practically gushing over you the first time you two, shall we say, had relations, my mother became rather terse in her responses to ,my questions about what was happening."

I paused a moment, then said, "Probably best for everyone to let the details pass. We had a nice time together. We went to the beach, out for nice dinners and generally kicked back."

"It's okay, Tom, I don't need to know the particulars. I am the one who set this up, you remember," she playfully teased.

We had dinner, I unpacked my stuff. The 'welcome home sex' was rather uninspired. Not as measured against what Janet and I had done this past week, but measured against what Stephanie and I were capable of and typical achieved. It felt as though neither of us were really into it.

Over the following weeks Steph was working late more often and we were having sex less frequently. One morning while she was in the shower her phone pinged with a text. Since I was nearby I looked at the screen.was all it said.

Throughout the day at my office I tried to reassure myself that my plan for later that day was just reaffirm that all was well. Like the way the cops in a movie or TV show ask a person for their alibi just so they can 'eliminate them as a suspect'.

Leaning against the column of a building across the street from Stephanie's office I admitted to myself that is suspected something and I wasn't here to cross her name off a list. After an hour and fifty minutes of waiting I saw her exit the revolving door of her building in stream of people, probably those who had been on her elevator.

Trying my best to be stealthy I jaywalked across the street dodging traffic. I reached the opposite sidewalk in time to see Steph turn the corner of her building. The shortest route home was in the opposite direction. As I cleared the corner of the building I spotted her ahead of me. A person behind me bumped into me when I stopped dead in my tracks from shock.

I watched my wife rise up on her toes to meet the kiss from her boss, Kevin whose arm was circling behind her to draw her tight to him. They laughed at each other. I snapped a few shots with my cell. I followed them to a downtown hotel where they went to the desk and after a few minutes stepped away and headed for the elevators. A few more memories for my collection as I snapped a few pics of them entering the hotel, at the desk and waiting for the elevator.

I called a buddy of mine to see if he was interested in grabbing a beer. He replied that he and his wife were just sitting down for dinner. I asked if he might be free for a few minutes after. He read between the lines and told me to come over now, I could eat with them.

I babbled out the story of what I had witnessed, sounding like a court reporter reading back a witness statement. Cal looked at his wife Theresa. Theresa looked at her husband Cal. In near perfect unison they said, "We know."

Apparently at a dinner party we hosted a few months ago Theresa overheard Steph talking to one of her best friends about the guy she was seeing. It had been going on for several months by that time. I sat, looking from one to the other, my mind blank.

Finally, Cal spoke, "We're sorry, Tom. We just didn't know what to do. We just knew it would suck if we told you, it would suck if you found out and maybe there was a slight chance t would all go away."

I neatly arranged three of the photos from my phone into a collage like arrangement with some photo software. I left a yellow stick note with one word on it attached. "DONE," it read.

I packed a bunch of stuff in the same suitcase I last used on the trip to visit Janet at the beach, put a bunch of stuff in the car, drove to a local hotel and was ensconced in a third floor, extended stay room in forty minutes. My phone didn't start pinging with calls, voice mails and texts, all from Stephanie until almost 11, over four and a half hours after I checked in.

Three days after beginning my undetermined stay at the extended stay room, there was a knock on the door and I assumed either the staff was checking to see if I needed anything or somebody had the wrong room. I didn't use the peep hole, I just opened the door. When I looked I was too stunned to say anything.

There, holding a rolling suitcase in one hand and brown bag in the other stood Janet. I was so floored that my first words were, "What are you doing here?"

Janet answered with no hesitation, "I came to check on you."

I recovered enough to ask her in. She took off her coat and I couldn't help but allow my eyes to drink in the most pleasant sight I'd seen in days. As always, she was impeccably dressed, light camel sweater, probably cashmere, with a round, open neck that showed no cleavage, grey, light weight, wool skirt to a couple of inches above her knee and a pair of black leather Frye boots with a stacked three inch heel.

"You are always so put together."

"Thank you," she blushed and looked down.

I admitted, "I honestly didn't think I said that out loud. But since I did, I'll add, in addition to being a sight for sore eyes, you look terrific."

She looked up at me and smiled. I think most of my insides melted. She wore no makeup I could see, her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail and her only jewelry were simple silver balls in each ear.

Her style was simple and elegant, as always.

"I picked up a bottle of wine on the way here. I figured you might want to chat and I know I want a glass after traveling, and maybe you'd like one, too."

I gathered up the two glasses by the ice bucket and started to open the mini bar to locate a cork screw.

"Tom, I specifically asked for a screw top."

Laughing to myself I thought, 'of course she did.'

We were settled, she having chosen to sit on the bed, her back against the headboard and her legs straight out, boots crossed at the ankles. I sat in the rolling, swivel desk chair.

"Have you seen her?" I asked, avoiding even saying her name.

"No, I came here from the airport."

"You did? Why?"

She inspected the wine in her glass and didn't raise her head as she answered. "Because you're the one I'm concerned about."

Her head seemed to tilt up and I saw her looking tentatively at me from under her brow.

I used my feet to move the chair near the bed. My movements were so awkward it would have been comical but for the circumstances.

I touched her arm, lightly resting my hand on her sweater. I swallowed and looked at her.

"You came to me first?"

Before she spoke she brought her eyes up to meet mine. Behind the amazing blue I saw angst and some fear.

"This may sound horrible, but I'm more concerned with you than my daughter. She's the one who has hurt you. I need to be with you first and most."

I was very close to crying. "You are the most wonderful person I know."

I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

She looked away. Tentatively, in such a quiet voice she started, "I don't know how many of those pecks on the cheek I can take. I know it's wrong and I sure as hell know you're not ready, but I just want to throw my arms around you and kiss you for a few hours."

"Janet," I countered, taking hold of her chin and urging her to look at me. "You're correct to assume my mental and emotional states are pretty scrambled right now. Because of that I'm second guessing myself and unsure, hesitant about whether my feelings are real or a reaction to what's happening. It took a bit of effort not to just grab you and start kissing you as soon as I opened the door. I probably don't show it but there is no one who I would be happier to see right now than you."

She reached out and caressed my face. I took her hand and just held it in mine. We both swallowed a sip of wine.

"That's good," I commented, looking into the glass.

"The guy at the store who recommended it to me told me not to be thrown off by the screw top." She took another, longer drink.

I sat back and thought for a moment. I leaned in toward her again and locked my gaze on her.

"OK, granted this is a bit awkward. Let's just acknowledge that. But we're both adults and capable of handling this situation. To show you I'm going to take a leap and open up first. As I told you I'm unsure about a lot right now but I'll admit one of my first thoughts as the initial shock dissipated was 'maybe this clears the way for me to be with Janet'."

Her face relaxed, she smiled a weak, cautious smile. "You did? You really thought that?"

"Yes, and I haven't been able to stop thinking that since I opened the door. Let's face it. We were mighty comfortable with each other mighty quickly in Florida. Talk about an awkward situation, yet in less than 24 hours we acted as if we had been together for years."

Relief swept over her face.

I continued on, "As I said I'm unsure whether my thoughts and emotions are genuine or just a salve to subdue or avoid the pain. In that sense you're probably correct, I'm probably not ready just yet."

Her eyes revealed her inner struggle. On the one hand she wanted to reassure me my feelings were sincere. On the other she was worried about rushing things and allowing my confusion to potentially get in the way.

Sadly she said, "I know you're right, but that doesn't make it any easier. But I promise you, I'll support and help you any way I can, no matter what our outcome may be."

"What's your plan, regarding seeing her. I assume you're staying with her."

"I have no plan; she doesn't even know I'm here. And I definitely won't be staying with her. Hell, she's not there anyway."

I couldn't help smiling. "OK, forget everything I just said. You're staying here."

"Tom, no. You..."

I didn't let her finish. "Afraid I'll try to jump your bones in the middle of the night?" It was my first attempt at humor in a while.

"But you said you questioned your decision making ability."

"I did. But I've got to start making some at some point and this feels like a good one to start with. There are two beds. If I need a shoulder to cry on you're right here. I won't have to eat dinner alone and I won't end up sitting on a park bench by myself feeding pigeons."

Janet stifled a little laugh but I thoroughly enjoyed the smile she didn't try to conceal.

"How do you know I won't jump your bones in the middle of the night?"

"I can think of far worse fates. Stay here, it will really help me to have you to talk to. And we can talk out the uncomfortable pieces of us, too."

Her reply was simple, "Yes."

I felt the best I'd felt in three days.

We talked. For hours we talked. About nine o'clock we ordered room service and continued talking as we ate. She was pissed at her daughter. She felt used, that Stephanie had set us up to assuage her guilt. She loved her daughter but not her actions. She was still unsure about what their relationship would be going forward.

Janet grew quiet, drew a deep breath and, as a preface said, "Here goes."

She told me that from the moment she left me at the airport she wanted nothing more than one more day with me. She knew she was in love with me and the only debate was what she should do. When she heard the news her first reaction wasn't sadness or disappointment for us or even anger at Stephanie or pity for me. Her first reaction was happiness because now there was actually a chance she and I could be together.

She talked about the guilt she felt because of that reaction and the pain she feared she might have to endure if she made her feelings known to me. This morning she decided 'screw it', found a flight, packed and went to the airport before she could change her mind.

I felt warm all over my body, a good warmth. I realized that no matter what happened between us, Janet was someone who wanted only good things for me.

"You are one amazing and brave woman. I feel better than I have since I first started suspecting something was going on and it's because of you. I'm afraid that I might be damaged goods and therefore screw up your life as well."

I talked about how my suspicions originated. I talked about trying to deny the potential of an affair and ignore it because avoiding conflict seemed like the easier route. I talked about the pain on that day when my suspicions were confirmed and how I still tried to ignore it, tried to avoid conflict and confrontation. I talked about how the pain only increased when I discovered how little our marriage meant to her when she suggested divorce right away.

I didn't know I was doing it but as I started speaking I was pacing back and forth. At some point I stopped and sat on the bed. When I finished I had my head on her lap and she was stroking my hair. I don't remember moving or laying my head on her.

I knew that being close to her, feeling her compassionate touch was incomparable.

I looked up at her and I must have had tears in my eyes.

Her fingers were slowly combing through my hair with unadulterated care. Her eyes looked pained and sad again as she worked to soothe me.

"Don't worry baby, mommy will take care of you."

I looked at her. Her hand stopped and flew to her mouth. A look of shock and then complete embarrassment clouded her face.

"I'm so sorry. I have no idea why I said that or where it came from."

I took her hand and placed it back in my hair.

"I do. That came from deep inside you. That is the core of you. You are a good person and you want to help people. I, for one, am gladly going to accept that help. It feels extremely good to be mothered by you, so please don't stop."

I just closed my eyes and felt the warmth of her - her body and her love.

At some point she said, "Come on, let's go to bed." She went into the bathroom and got ready. When she came out she was wearing a T-shirt and panties.

I brushed my teeth, put on a T-shirt and walked into the room. I stood at the edge of her bed; she had watched me the whole time.

"Would it be alright if I slept next to you?" I nervously asked.

She flipped back the blankets next to her. I crawled in and molded myself to her. We held each other close and I soon fell asleep.

We held each other, snuggled and spooned throughout the night. I know I was hard at many points. I presumed that she was aroused at least a time or two, but sex wasn't on the agenda.

In the morning I awoke to her smiling face staring at me.

"How long have you been watching me?"

"Maybe 15 or 20 minutes. You are incredibly cute when you sleep."

Morning breath be damned. I moved forward while intertwining my fingers in her thick, blonde mane. I kissed her. No peck, no chaste touch of the lips, but an honest to goodness kiss communicating the passion I held for her. I was glad I did because she kissed me back just as earnestly.

EPILOGUE

Our divorce was final in just six months after I photographed Stephanie and Kevin together. Stephanie didn't contest anything. We sold our condo and split it 50/50. She gave me anything else I wanted. I quit my job and moved away, not coincidentally to the place where Janet lived. I got an apartment but was living with Janet within a month.

A month later we flew to that little beach town and were married at the Town Hall by a Justice of the Peace. Our witnesses were the mayor's secretary and a guy from the Sanitation Department who had come in to drop off his health insurance form. We honeymooned in that same condo on the 15th floor.

Janet died a little over a year ago. She was 78 years old. The cancer that was first discovered four years earlier had returned and ultimately claimed her. Stephanie was married and divorced twice more after me. The three of us arranged an awkward truce that allowed us to tolerate all being in one place at one time for a few days around holidays.

I'm almost sixty now. I became a teacher and tried to instill a sense of right and wrong in the 7th and 8th grade students I taught. Technically I'm retired, though I still work as a substitute teacher. I live in that beach town where Janet and I first discovered our love. We bought that condo on the 15th floor but I sold it. Too many memories. I live in a small cottage on the edge of town.

I think of Janet every day. I think of how lucky we were to have almost thirty years together. I wouldn't change one thing about our lives together for anything. I'd give anything for one more day with her. On my bedside table is a single photograph.

In the background of the photograph are palm trees wrapped in white Christmas lights. My left arm is around Janet's waist, her left hand lies against my white shirt on my chest, the blue engagement ring giving off a sparkle from the flash. Janet is turning to me and the picture caught her leaning in to give me a kiss. Her left foot is raised halfway to her knee. I was unaware of the impending kiss, staring straight at the camera with a huge smile.